In this reflective monologue, an older individual recounts a recent date where they chose to set clear boundaries, expressing that they were interested in friendship rather than intimacy. After communicating their red‑flag concerns via email, the date responded respectfully, praising the speaker’s honesty and suggesting a platonic friendship based on shared interests like live music and art. The speaker highlights how the positive, respectful reaction exceeded their expectations— they anticipated being dismissed or ghosted. They argue that honest, sensitive communication can be well‑received, encouraging others, especially seniors, to be forthright about their intentions rather than resorting to ghosting or harsh criticism. The overall message promotes transparent, respectful interaction in senior dating, emphasizing that honesty can foster new friendships and should not be underestimated.
Chapters
One of the benefits of being an older person— well, it's a benefit for me, I don't know if it's a benefit for anyone else or if anybody else has even got the courage to do what I do sometimes— but I was thinking the— that I had been on a date, I didn't really want it to go into that intimate place. I got the follow-up email that suggested from the person that I'd been with that he did, and I responded back that there were a few things that were red flags for me. And although I'd really liked his company and wanted to be friendly with him, I didn't really want it to go to that intimate place that he was hoping for. And his response, I sort of thought that he would tell me to, you know, fuck off after that or whatever, or just ghost me or just not respond. And he would have been well within his right to do that, but he didn't. He actually said, I really respect that and your honesty, and that's really the basis of a great friendship. And then we had a chat after that and it was all good. And I left feeling really positive about the fact that I'd made a new friend and potentially somebody that I could just go to live music. He likes live music and art and stuff like that. And he's just like a snazzy dresser. And I like that too. And we could just go and do stuff together. And I was clear about that and that I wanted that. And so I think, you know, sometimes when we think that being honest is gonna, really be a big turn-off, providing that we're sensitive in the way that we approach being honest and we're not, you know, horrible and nasty and say you're disgusting and gross, but actually are assuming, you know, you want to see this person again and you do want to be friends with them, then I think that that is entirely possible and that we should never underestimate people's willingness and ability to be able to hear honest things being said to us and be grateful that people are honest and not just like kind of silly and adolescent and doing kind of ghosting and, you know, just being horrible. So I felt good about that, felt good about being honest. So, you know, all I'm saying is be honest, be honest about what you want and be honest with the person that you are potentially you do want to be a friend with about, you know, the fact that you just want to be a friend.
