Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Sex with others when you are in a relationship

27 Dec 2022 · 2 min

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2:28

In this monologue, the speaker explains what it means to open a relationship—choosing to move beyond monogamy and allow sexual or romantic connections with others. They note that many people find the idea frightening and may instead have secret affairs, which often lead to divorce. Opening a relationship is presented as a conscious acknowledgment that some needs or expectations are unmet, allowing those needs to be explored outside the primary partnership while preserving its positive aspects. The speaker emphasizes that this path is emotionally complex: once additional partners are involved, conversations multiply, requiring discussions about expectations and boundaries with all parties. They stress that successful non‑monogamy hinges on thorough, honest communication; without it, the likelihood of a negative outcome is very high. The talk concludes that opening a relationship isn’t for everyone, but for those seeking excitement or unmet needs without ending the current partnership, it can be a viable option if communication is prioritized.

Chapters

Opening up a relationship is when a couple decide that they're going to go beyond monogamy and open up the possibility of having relationships, usually of a sexual nature, with other people. I know for many that very thought is so scary, and the idea of even having that conversation with their partner is so scary that for a lot of people, they just decide that rather than do that, they'll just go off and have an affair. And I I know where that leads, which is usually, not always, but many times to divorce. But when you decide to open up a relationship, it's about acknowledging that there's some level of dissatisfaction in the relationship or some expectation in the relationship that's just not being met. And by opening it up, it frees that relationship to take that expectation somewhere else while maintaining all the goodness that exists within your current relationship. It's not easy. It brings up lots of emotions, and from my experience, when you do that, as soon as other people start getting involved, then the conversations that need to go on multiply. So it's no longer just you and your partner having the conversation about what this is gonna mean but also about the other people that may be involved, having conversations with them about their own expectations and what this opening up of the relationship is going to mean for them. It's tough and it can bring up a lot of emotions, a lot of triggers, a lot of things that you didn't expect, and part of being in a relationship with another person is about acknowledging all of that sort of stuff and moving to a place where everybody's happy. Look, it's not for everybody opening up a relationship, but if you're in a place where you don't want to leave but you're looking for something more exciting or something to stimulate you or some expectation that's not being met, it's one possible way to move forward while still maintaining the relationship that you have. But it's all about communication, and if you don't do that to start with, then the likelihood of it ending badly is Very, very high.