Many people in long-term relationships report no sex or touch at all. The problem is couples don't talk about desire or have words for it, so partners don't know what each other wants. Without saying what you need, nothing changes.
Chapters
If the comments that I read are to be believed, there are clearly lots and lots of people, primarily men, unsurprisingly, who are in relationships and are having absolutely no form of intimacy whatsoever. No touch, no sex, no nothing. And I suspect there's lots of reasons for that. I know that I was in a marriage where we just didn't discuss it. And so therefore we weren't able to articulate our desires. We didn't know what our sex drive was like when we met. Could have been completely inequitable. One person could have desired sex a lot while the other person didn't, but we had absolutely no idea. And I suspect a lot of older people are probably in that situation where they just have no vernacular, no way of talking about sex and it's gone, they've gone without for so long that trying to go back to that point where they can discuss it is really, really, really challenging. And I totally get that. I'm not a therapist, I don't have any great advice other than if you don't talk about it, if you're not able to articulate what it is that you want in your relationship that you're not getting, then nothing really is gonna change.
