Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

The ball is in your court is somewhat unattractive to me as I like it when someone else takes the

12 Jan 2024 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker examines the phrase “the ball is in your court” as it is used in casual, heteronormative dating contexts. They argue that the expression signals a passive stance, typically adopted by men, that places the responsibility for initiating further contact or intimacy on the woman. The speaker notes that this phrasing conveys a lack of enthusiasm or urgency—essentially “I’m fine with it, but it’s up to you; if you don’t reach out, I won’t chase you.” The analysis highlights how this dynamic reflects broader gendered expectations about who should take the initiative in casual relationships.

Chapters

What does a man mean when he says the ball is in your court? I've heard this a couple of times recently and I've thought, oh really, is the ball in my court? I guess it is. I mean, if you're in a relationship which has been casual or which you want to be casual, then the assumption is that if you want to have some fun, especially in a heteronormative relationship, then really it's kind of up to the woman to say when she's available and wants to have some fun. And yeah, I mean, I think that is generally what it means, but it also means, from a guy's point of view anyway, that he's not that fussed, that he's expecting if you call, you call, and if you don't, you don't. So there's also this kind of like I don't really care thing that for me comes along with saying the ball's in your court, because if they were more enthusiastic, then they perhaps would want to make more of an effort, right? So the ball's in your court to me is a kind of way of saying, I enjoyed this, I'd be up for doing it again, but really it's up to you, and if I don't hear from you, then I don't hear from you.