To rekindle desire, show your partner they're wanted before sex happens. Leave Post-it notes, compliment them, touch without expecting it to lead anywhere. Try postponing intercourse for a week while focusing on hugging, kissing, and massage. Desire builds through consistent affection and patience.
Chapters
Let's talk about how you can rev up desire in a long-term relationship where the sex may have gone. That is a question that comes up so often amongst older people, and I'm not a specialist, so I'm just giving you an answer based on my own experience and what a lot of other experts have said, which is that desire starts way before you get to the bedroom. In order to feel desired and to want to have sex, You have to feel that your partner wants you, and you can demonstrate that in all sorts of little ways. For me, one of the little cute techniques is just to leave a Post-it note somewhere that your partner is going to find, just to say how much you still love them or how hot you think they look today, or just how you just want to, when you see them, give them a lovely big hug or a kiss and that you just think they're gorgeous. And that again goes for both sexes because I think men want to feel desired. I know that they do just as much as women. Another thing is just don't expect that every time you're close to your partner that it's always going to lead to sex. I think that's another thing that comes up so often is just, it's just about physical closeness. It's about hugging. It's about touching, massage, caressing, a lingering kiss. All of that kind of stuff can lead eventually to desire. And finally, Sometimes what's really nice is to actually agree that what you're going to do is just not give in to sex even when your whole body is telling you that you really want it. So spread out that desire over a week just by getting into bed and just kissing or just touching or just doing things that don't involve your genitals until by the end of the week you're really revved up for it.
