This content was created by Suzanne Noble. This content was uploaded by Suzanne Noble. This is a YouTube video titled "What Are the Benefits of Sensate Focus in a Relationship?" (created 2024-08-04). The excerpt is a single-speaker, informal monologue offering relationship/sexuality advice about the sensate focus method (attributed to Masters and Johnson). The speaker outlines staged steps to rebuild intimacy—remove pressure for intercourse, start with kissing only, progress to non‑genital caressing, then genital touch without penetration, and finally allow penetration—to restore arousal and expectation. No multiple participants or interviewer are present in the excerpt.
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How do you put the spark back into your relationship if the sex is gone? That's a question that gets asked all the time. Of course, I'm curious to know because I couldn't work it out in my own relationship. But according to Masters and Johnson's— yes, those famous people from back in the day that you may remember— there's something called sensate focus. Makes a huge amount of sense. And what it is, is that you start your relationship over again as if you were kids making out for the first time. So what you do is, first of all, you stop thinking about having sex. You just take it off the table. You don't make any attempt with your partner to have sex with them. Therefore, there's no feelings of rejection. You're not going to get, you know, pushed away, any of that sort of stuff. And then you begin each day or maybe there's spaces in between the days, to start re-engaging with your partner in an intimate way. And what that means is, Stage 1, you just kiss them. Kiss, snog, just really go for the kissing, but that is it. You do not do anything else. You are not allowed to touch any part of their body. You are literally doing nothing but kissing them. That's all you're doing. And then stage 2, you start to explore each other's bodies. Maybe you're just kind of touching and things, but no genitals, no breasts. You're just basically caressing each other, kissing, doing all of that sort of stuff. Think about the bases. Remember first base, second base, etc., when you were a kid? Think about that. And then you go on to touching each other's genitals, breasts, but no penetration. That's off the table. By now you should start feeling like things are really heating up and maybe you really want to go for it, but you don't. You put that off to Stage 4 where eventually you allow penetration to occur and hopefully by that time you're so excited that you just can't wait to get with each other. But But basically, it's about building back up that sense of expectation, of arousal, and not demanding of each other that it leads immediately to fucking. I think it sounds quite exciting, don't you?
