Younger people often expect instant sexual attraction, but as you age, desire usually builds through getting to know someone. A friend argues that waiting for an immediate spark is a learned, possibly unhealthy pattern. Deeper familiarity can foster appreciation and let desire emerge and grow.
Chapters
How important is it for there to be a spark when you first meet someone? I suspect when we're younger that we just expect a spark because our bodies are giving out all of these juicy hormones when we meet somebody that we fancy, and that's saying to the other person, yep, I really want to get together with you and let's have some fun. When we're older, of course, those hormones may not be present in quite the same way that they were, and so therefore it takes a little bit more effort and getting to know somebody, in my experience, for there to be a spark. In fact, I've had this conversation with a friend of mine who insists that actually a spark is probably some sort of old pattern of behavior, which isn't necessarily healthy, that you just kind of get used to being there. And when it's not there, you think, mm, maybe this isn't quite right. Her opinion, and I tend to agree with it the older I get, is that the more you get to know someone, the more you appreciate and enjoy being around with them, the more that spark can develop and actually grow into something, rather than expecting that sort of immediate pow of, wow, I really want to shag you.
