When I was in New York recently I drove with an old friend to Massachusetts where I met up with Ken

Hey everybody, I am so excited. I am in Western Massachusetts visiting my oldest and bestest friend and Ken Shaffer, who we spoke— God, when do we speak? We've spoken, we've spoken a couple of times.

Yeah, uh, it's been a while though. I think it was in the springtime.

Yeah, is kind of local. Like in America, if you're an hour away, you're local, right? Whereas in the UK nobody comes if they're an hour away. Like, they tell you to fuck off. But anyway, Ken wrote this book, uh, which is called A Practical Guide to Managing Erectile Dysfunction. And as everybody knows, I could talk all day about erectile dysfunction because I had a couple of partners in my past 20 years um, both of whom sadly are no longer in this world. And the way that their chronic illness panned out initially was through having erectile dysfunction, and, uh, that led them on a journey to discover what was going on, and that led them to finding out that they had some very, very serious health issues. And as we both know, Ken, that's the deal with erectile dysfunction.

Yes, uh, you know, erectile dysfunction is usually a sign that something is going on in your body, that there's, that there's something you need to address.

Absolutely. And so, Ken, uh, we, we don't need to talk about your history because I talked about it on the podcast, but in summary, uh, Ken struggled himself and that led him on a journey to writing this book. And, you know, what I remember from your conversation, from our conversation, was the fact that The reason why you wrote this book is that often the healthcare professionals you saw weren't giving you the best advice.

Right. I found that good advice from the medical profession, at least in, in this country, is few and far between. You really do have to search for a doctor that knows what they're talking about. Yeah, yeah.

And you were— we were just talking about testosterone as an example because I've just started taking it and you were on it and you started to experience some very strange side effects I'd never heard of before.

Well, I, I had a dosage that was way too high.

Yeah.

And, uh, if you have too high of a dosage, you will probably start converting it to estrogen and that can lead to some interesting consequences.

Consequences. He didn't grow boobs, By the way, just in case you're wondering, one of those things—

cried a lot.

I did too. That's so bizarre.

Honestly, I, I was a mess.

I've never heard that before, you know, crying a lot from too much testosterone. Well, but I guess it happens, right?

Yeah, you know, testosterone is a precursor to estrogen, so if you take too much testosterone your estrogen levels will go up.

Yeah, yeah. And you'll, as a result, start crying a lot, possibly. But the other thing we were talking about is about the fact that oftentimes there are— well, there are some very simple solutions for erectile dysfunction which have to do with just changes in your lifestyle. I mean, what were some of the things that you did with regard to making changes?

Well, you know, these are all— it's not rocket science. You eat well, you get some exercise. If you're smoking, stop smoking. Get regular sleep and just generally take care of yourself. And quite often that will be enough to really get things working again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And clearly, if you do all of that, and things aren't working again, the first thing to do generally is go see a healthcare professional because as we've said before, if you can't get the blood flowing down there, then something's stopping it from doing that, right? I mean, it's basic, like it's basic, the way the human body works like that is the blood needs to flow all and circulate around the body and if there's a blockage somewhere, then it's not going to reach those smaller veins downstairs and as a result, there might be some cardiovascular issues, you might have some prostate issues. Also, diabetes is another one that people point to sometimes. But, you know, assuming that you're— that everything is working properly, you know, there are some other things that you can do. We were— one of the things that we were talking about just in terms of getting that blood flowing back into tissue is pumping. And I know that lots of people think I'm a bit crazy because I think pumping can be quite sexy, but I think it's how you look at these things, you know.

Yeah, I mean, though I don't think very many people are going to say, "I love getting out my pump and pumping," but is it worth 15 minutes of your day to improve your sex life? And I think for most people, the answer is yes.

Yeah, and as someone who has pumped, I'm curious to know, because there's a lot of different kinds of pumps on the market, do you find that one is necessarily better than the other? Because I, I have my doubts about whether or not you need a really expensive pump.

You don't. Yeah, my go-to pump is something that probably cost my, my urologist $5.

Yeah.

And he gave it to me for free.

Really?

It's a very simple— it's just a tube and a little hand thing. And it works fine.

Really? Yeah.

I've had more expensive pumps and they didn't do any better. So I am not—

I—

that— now I've had pumps that definitely didn't work, you know, cheap pumps that definitely didn't work, but you don't have to have an expensive pump.

No, no. And I mean, I think they all basically do the same thing, frankly.

If it gets the blood where you need it, it's working and it's good enough.

Yeah. And another question about pumps, because I know that, uh, I think it's Dr. Joel Katz who sells a range of pumps. Um, sometimes I promote him.

Yes.

But he's got some really massive tubes, like he does all these different tube sizes right? And when I showed it to somebody that I know who likes to pump, he was like, what? Why is that so big? And so I read about it, and he— this particular pump was scrotum and penis together. Yes. I don't, I don't, I don't know anything about that because the other ones that I've seen are just penis, not scrotum and penis. And obviously this one was massive for the whole thing.

That's interesting. I'm not familiar with that, but that is actually an excellent idea because one of the major problems I've had with pumping— yeah— is you start pumping, all of a sudden your testicles get sucked in and it's very uncomfortable.

Right, interesting.

So, uh, I'll have to look into that.

That's really interesting because my friend was like, there's no way you're getting my balls in that. And I went, well, that's why it's— because he— we were both like, is that for a guy with a monster cock? And then I read, no, no, it's for a person to get everything inside. So you think maybe that would be more— I could have brought some of those for you. I've got a whole bunch of them.

It's definitely a very interesting idea because, uh, believe me, it's uncomfortable if, when, if you pump too hard and things get stuck, it's very uncomfortable. So that kind of just eliminates that problem.

Yeah. So yeah, and now I think interesting that you should say about pumping too hard because I also do think with pumping there is something about knowing your limits, you know, like when people I know have used pumps, sometimes they've gotten a bit overenthusiastic about it and they said, fuck it, it can hurt. Yeah, and you can end up with a bit of a bruised dick. So yeah, you have to, you have to gauge your own limits, I think, when it comes to pumping, don't you?

I think if you're starting to feel pain, it's time to back off.

Right.

Um, just in general, especially with pumping, it's very difficult. It would be very difficult to do permanent damage with pumping, but don't get overenthusiastic and give yourself pain that you don't need to experience.

Yeah. And generally I've read that it's like 15 minutes, 10 minutes off, and then another 15 minutes. Is that what you advise?

Or it varies from lots of doctors I've talked to. They all have different protocols. One doctor I've talked to has 3 minutes of pumping, 1 minute off, and going back and forth. Another doctor I've talked to is 10 minutes, take a break, another 10 minutes. My doctor says pump for a minute, down for 30 seconds, pump for a minute, and keep repeating that over and over again.

Oh really? Oh wow.

So I don't think there's any research that says what the optimal protocol is. Yeah, but they do know that it helps.

Yeah, and I think that's the point, is like the thing about pumping is that there hasn't been a huge amount of scientific work, to be honest. I don't know, one of the things that I've discussed with people before is where is the real evidence. I don't know that there's that many scientific papers about pumping, but the people that I've spoken to about it have said it works. Right? It gets the blood into the tissues. If you're worried about your erectile function, then it's one of the things that you can do to get started with that is not going to cost you very much money. As Ken said, you don't need to buy a super expensive pump. They sell them on Amazon, they sell them on eBay. I think the one that my friend uses was like $20. Cheap, right? It's cheap thing, and it's a really easy way to get started to see if it's just gonna sort you out. I mean, and I don't really understand. We're both talking about like, we don't understand the, the reaction to it, which is, eh, why, why wouldn't you want to give it a go? Because it's just, if it's gonna work, like, why wouldn't, why wouldn't you do it?

It's, it's a therapeutic device, and if you're not getting erections naturally, blood is not getting to those tissues, and the tissues will become atrophy. Exactly. And so you're, you're, you're, you're actually using it in a therapeutic way and it will get results if you do it long enough.

Yeah. And if you want to have some fun, my advice would be get your partner, if she's female, one for herself. There's ones that you can use as women that one goes over the vulva, one goes over the clitoris. I've tried both of them. Quite horny, I have to say. Does the same thing for women, gets the blood flowing into the tissues. If you're a menopausal woman and you're struggling to have an orgasm, again, they're gonna— it's gonna start to rejuvenate those tissues. And if you do it with your partner and he's pumping and you're pumping, I have to say, I think it's— I think it's kind of hot. But that's just— but you know, it's— I think so much of all of this stuff is taking a lot of the shame out of it, right? It's just like, how can we make this ridiculous thing fun? How can we take the fact that I'm sticking— you know, you're sticking your dick in a plastic tube and you're pumping it up and it's getting all engorged with blood and it's getting really fat and looking quite sexy, frankly, if you like that thing. And similarly for a woman, like, you're pumping it up and your clit's and all that area is getting quite pumped up. And how could we make that fun? Instead of going, oh, I'm gonna have to do my pumping, I'm so— I'd rather do anything else than that. Just like, just involve your partner, like make it something between you that you can enjoy doing. And all I can say about it, I don't know, I mean, I think it's true, is that when you stop pumping and then you start having sex in whatever way— oral sex, penetrative sex— the area is really sensitive. So it's quite, it's quite sexy.

That, yeah, I'm not sure about it. That hasn't been my experience.

That is okay, because I know with mine it's very sensitive. It's like it feels more sensitive than usual, and because there's all that blood that's flowing inside there.

So for me, it makes sense. Yeah, I just haven't experienced that myself.

Okay, well, you're missing out there. I guess I am. Yeah, the other thing we were talking about that's also cheap that people can do is buy a cock ring. Another super simple one. And, um, any particular ones you recommend?

Well, I personally use the Giddy.

Oh, the Giddy.

Uh, but that is a little pricey. There's one that we were discussing, the Firmtec Max PR one.

I love that one. Yeah, that's my favorite.

That works well. I have tried that. It works well, and it's easy to get on and off, which is a big plus.

Bonus. Yeah, so, and that's just again around like, you know, putting a little tourniquet around your dick so that when the blood's in there, it stays in there. And again, not rocket science. Imagine a leaking bucket and slowly the blood might be coming out because of age, age-related, you know, venous leak. It's a thing. And all you want to do is trap it. So you can do that in multiple ways and a cock ring is definitely going to improve that situation. Again, it's not a gay thing to just want to support your erectile health. There's nothing gay about just wanting to have a harder, longer-lasting, firm dick, right? Nothing, there's nothing gay about that. It's just, not that there's anything wrong with anything that's gay, frankly, but you know, I mean, when we start putting these things in little buckets, like I can't do this 'cause it's that, and I'm not that, and you've gotta do this, it's just ridiculous. I mean, you know.

You know, focus on your goal.

Yeah.

You know, the details are the details, but you know, you want to improve your sex life. This is the way to do it.

And just finally, I'm just browsing through your book here, which is a mine of information, and I'm gonna— I'll put a little link to this. You've got here supplements. Which— any supplements in particular that you thought really, you noticed a noticeable difference? Because there are a ton of supplements out there.

Well, I am a little cagey about supplements. I think it depends on the person and what their body needs.

Yeah.

And it can be tricky to figure that out. But I think if, if I were only to recommend one, it would be a NO supplement, a nitric oxide supplement. And for men and women, your body needs that. And as you get older, your ability to produce it is dramatically reduced. Yeah. So I think that would be the one thing I would recommend for everyone.

Yeah. I know that there's a few that I've seen. There's actually in the UK, there's a woman that is a doctor that's just started producing one. I recommended one by Clubhouse Supplements. I don't know if you're familiar with them called Wood, which my friend thought was created some very— a hardwood as opposed to a softwood. So he thought that was pretty amazing. I know that Judson Brandeis does one called Affirm. I don't know if you've seen that one. Do you have any that you can recommend?

I am terrible at remembering brand names. I use one that my, one of my doctors sells, and I don't remember the brand name.

Okay.

But it's based— the problem with some nitric oxide supplements is they're using sources of nitric oxide that are high in oxalates. So if you have any predilection to getting kidney stones, you want to avoid those supplements. The better supplements are based on arugula.

Arugula? Seriously?

Yeah.

Oh, right. I've seen beetroot and I've seen Beets are high in oxalates.

Oh, they're very good for as a nitric oxide supplement, but it is something that you need to be aware of if you're going to take supplements. Yeah. Kidney stones are very painful.

No, nobody wants a kidney stone just because they want a hard dick, that's for sure. Anyway, Ken, it's been so lovely to spend a little bit of time with you. This is his wonderful book that's all about managing erectile dysfunction, and Ken has a huge amount of knowledge around this, having seen loads of doctors and tried all sorts of things. So this is a very personal book written from his own experience, his own journey, and yeah, I highly recommend it. Give it a shot, give it a look. It's on Amazon.

Yes, thank you.

Suzanne Noble to finally meet you in Western Mass. Let's have something to eat.