Sexual dysfunction in later life often stems from low testosterone or antidepressant side effects. Beyond penetrative sex, oral sex and manual stimulation remain pleasurable options. Open conversation with partners and a sympathetic doctor matter more than shame and silence.
It's not just women that suffer from problems with their sexual health in later life. Men do too, and we know that because there are drugs like Viagra and Cialis, and the medical establishment has spent an enormous amount of money addressing male sexual health problems. And I know personally from being with men, that older men, that erectile dysfunction is a thing. And it can happen for all sorts of reasons, but most likely, I suspect, is because your testosterone gets reduced and as a result it's harder to get erect and harder to maintain an erection. But also, I was with a partner many years ago who was on antidepressants, and we know that many older men suffer from depression, so they are on antidepressants, and antidepressants also can have the this effect on a man's ability to become erect. So, you know, how do we deal with this kind of stuff? I mean, look, penetrative sex is kind of assumed to be the thing if you're in a heteronormative relationship, and it's unfortunate because we know that there are so many different ways to have sex, to enjoy sex, to experience pleasure beyond just penetration. You know, oral sex, using your fingers, mutual masturbation, all of that sort of stuff is so much and should be so much a part of our sex lives without having to think that it's always about penetrative sex. And the more that we talk about this with each other, with our friends, The more we remove the shame around it, because I know that there is a lot of shame around it, and I was with somebody many years ago who was on antidepressants, and he decided because he was struggling with having an erection that he was just going to throw those things out. Well, obviously throwing out your antidepressants can have catastrophic effects. And just because he wanted an erection was not really a great reason to throw those pills out. So if you are struggling with any problem, sexual health problem, I think, you know, the best thing that we can do is talk to our partner about it. Talk to them about how we feel, how it makes us feel, and, you know, go and, go and see a doctor and find a sympathetic doctor, because I know that many doctors especially when they're dealing with older people and issues around sex, are not sympathetic. So try and find one that is.
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