A single person reflects on watching couples and noticing how unhappy many partners look, how relationships often turn people into people-pleasers who sacrifice themselves. They prefer being alone, doing what they want and being their genuine self, which feels more attractive and happy than compromising in a relationship.
Chapters
When you look at couples, do you think, oh, I really would like to be in one of those? Or do you think, ick, that looks horrible? The other day I was hanging out with a new friend of mine going for a walk, and we were remarking on a club that we'd been to, and most of the people there were in couples, and we were one of the few single people. And I started saying, oh, those coupley people, those smug coupley people. And he laughed and said, you're talking about couples with some degree of disdain. And I said, yeah, I am, because Mostly when I look at couples, I think, "Ick, who wants to be in one of those?" They often, one or the other person in the couple seems pretty unhappy actually. And I know that when I'm in a couple, often I'm not happy. I'm bending over backwards to try and please someone, be a people pleaser, which doesn't really reflect well on me. I'm doing things that I don't really wanna do just to support the other person. Sometimes ignoring the things that I really do enjoy doing because I know the person I'm with doesn't really enjoy doing those things. And fundamentally, I'm not being at my most authentic, if you like that word, which I don't, but I'm going to use it anyway, my authentic self. Whereas when I'm single, when I'm— or single-ish— when I'm doing what I want to do, when I'm, when I'm just being me and just enjoying the stuff that I enjoy doing, I'm so much happier. I'm so much more attractive to other people, and I'm just a— yeah, I'm just, I'm just me. I'm just the person that I want to be. So until I can find a way of being in a couple where I don't sacrifice a part of me just to please the other person, then I will remain single.
