In this video, Suzanne Noble addresses men who wonder why their wives or female partners seem disinterested in sex. She outlines a series of concrete reasons women may withhold sex, ranging from relational and emotional factors to psychological trauma, physical discomfort, and personal hygiene. The main points include: (1) feeling disrespected or belittled, leading women to use sex as a form of control; (2) men failing to follow through on agreed‑upon domestic responsibilities, which creates resentment; (3) past sexual abuse or a history of unsatisfying sex that leaves women without pleasure or orgasm, making sex feel unnecessary; (4) physiological issues such as vaginal atrophy that make penetrative sex painful; (5) the need for non‑sexual intimacy—touch, affection, and emotional connection—before sex is expected; (6) the importance of feeling loved, wanted, and receiving compliments; and (7) personal grooming and hygiene, as unpleasant smells or a scruffy appearance can be a turn‑off. For each reason, Noble offers practical suggestions (e.g., longer foreplay, lubricants, compliments, better grooming) to help men improve intimacy and sexual satisfaction in their relationships.
Chapters
Why women avoid sex with men. We see a lot of comments from men especially saying that their wives are no longer interested in sex, they no longer feel any desire, and they wonder how they can help with that and if there's anything that they can do. And I'm just here to tell you all the various reasons that I've thought of, of why women avoid sex. One reason is because they don't feel respected. Perhaps they haven't been made to feel that they their existence is all that important. It may be that you say their job isn't important, or what they do around the house isn't very important, or that it's very easy. Maybe they feel quite belittled in the relationship, and sex is a form of control, so by withholding sex, they feel they have some kind of power. They can take some kind of power back, and that's a pretty easy one to understand. The number 2 thing is that Maybe they've asked you to do something and you've accepted this responsibility. You've said you're gonna do it and then you don't. And this can happen over a number of things. It can happen over just basic domestic chores, just accepting responsibility for emptying the dishwasher or doing something, or something else that you've been asked to do and you've accepted willingly and then you haven't done it. And let's face it, it's incredibly tiresome and fucking boring to have to ask somebody to do the same thing over and over again, or just to simply ask, have you done this? When you've been asked numerous amounts of time. 3 might be a personal or psychological thing. There's a lot of women who have, unfortunately at our age, suffered sexual abuse or some kind of trauma, and for them, often sex is not particularly pleasurable. Or perhaps they've had a series of relationships in which their pleasure has just been frankly ignored, and so sex isn't something great. There's a lot of women out there who either don't experience orgasm through sex or have never experienced an orgasm orgasm. And guys, I cannot even know, I'm sure, how you would feel about that, but if you've never experienced any pleasure, then frankly, getting to an age where you don't have to procreate anymore and you can just take sex off the menu is one option that many, many older women choose. Third thing is a real physical thing, and it is a real physical problem, which is vaginal atrophy. It affects a huge a huge number of women, and it makes penetrative sex incredibly painful for many of them. And so they avoid it because they want to avoid the pain. There are things that you can do to support your partner in making it more comfortable and more pleasurable for them. Longer foreplay, for instance. You might use lubricants, all of that sort of stuff. But if it's painful, then typically they might avoid it, just as we all avoid, as humans, most things involving pain, unless that's your thing, of course. And really, it's about also connec— creating some kind of connection, right, without expecting it necessarily to lead to sex. So this can just be general kind of touching and being intimate with your partner and not necessarily expecting sex at the end of it. Could be holding hands, just gentle kissing, offering to give a massage, all of those things that just create a Intimacy without necessarily thinking that you're gonna get sex out of it. So that's another thing that can eventually lead to sex, but is just gonna create more feelings of desire. And the next thing is actually feeling like you're loved and you're wanted and you're desired. And if you don't feel that, then frankly, you're not gonna wanna have sex with somebody. And that's again about how we can create that feeling. Small compliments. You look lovely today. Oh, what a lovely dress. You know, you look so pretty. All of those things that women like. Just receiving compliments, accepting them, and also giving them is part of being in a loving relationship. And finally, and I shouldn't even have to say this really, it's about turning up and smelling fresh and clean. There's frankly, guys can be a bit smelly, and I'm not particularly into the scruffy look. I like my guy well-groomed. I know it's not everybody's thing, but you can still be scruffy and clean, use soap, smell nice, and, and turn up feeling and looking attractive. Because women spend an enormous amount of time on their appearance, and they expect men to spend some time on their own. You know, clothes that haven't been washed, stained, just general kind of like like, just feeling like you don't care is not particularly attractive. So guys, I hope this has been really helpful to you, and if you're wondering why you're not getting laid, maybe now you know.
