Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

You Aren't Mature Enough To Have Sex - Sex Advice for Seniors

21 Jan 2024 · 2 min

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1:33

In this reflective monologue, the speaker expands on a comment that one isn’t mature enough for sex until they can discuss it without embarrassment. Drawing from personal experience, she explains how a lack of sexual communication in a long‑term partnership led to resentment and dissatisfaction, prompting her to prioritize open dialogue in subsequent relationships. She notes that initiating sexual conversations early in a new relationship feels safer because the stakes are low and one can walk away if the response is unsatisfactory. Conversely, bringing up desires after years of silence in an established partnership can be emotionally devastating. The speaker acknowledges that while the idea of mature sexual communication is ideal, many people—especially seniors—find it extremely challenging.

Chapters

You aren't mature enough to have sex until you can talk about it without feeling embarrassed. That was a comment left by somebody yesterday, and I thought that was a really great comment, if not a little bit optimistic, because let's face it, there's many, many people, I suspect, who never feel comfortable talking about sex and who never will feel comfortable talking about sex. And I know for me that part of the only way that I became comfortable talking about it was after I left a long-term relationship where I didn't talk about it, which led to feelings of resentment and just not feeling very satisfied and happy and getting to a place where in starting new relationships, I realized that it was really important for me to talk about it right from the beginning. But it's always so much easier when you're starting a relationship and the risk is very low because let's face it, if you say something and the other person responds in a way that you're not expecting or that you don't agree with, you can just walk away. But in a long-term relationship, if you express your desire after a period of time in which you haven't and you feel that you're not getting the response that you were looking for, that can be really quite devastating. So although I really agree with that comment, you're not mature enough to have sex until you can talk about it, I suspect for a lot of people that's still very, very challenging.