105. Creating The BEST Mother's Day With These 3 Steps

Welcome to the momset podcast, my friend. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero, and as a woman of God, an adoring wife, and a mother of three darling boys, I am passionate about giving you the tools you need to build a mindset skill set that enriches your experience through motherhood and daily life. I've had my fair share of challenges and hardship throughout my life, and that is exactly how I came to this place of finding purpose to my pain and helping you do the same. I know we can thrive right where we are at, and it's time for us to take back motherhood by being the mommy that we want to be right right now. Thank you for being here and making this a wonderful place for me to show up alongside you. Buckle up, buttercup. Come on in closer, sister, because we are going to make sure that you have the, hands down, best Mother's Day that you've ever had. Because you're going to do these three things and it's going to be a game changer for you. Even if your husband works and it's, quote, unquote, just another day, or your mom thinks it's all about her and you're like, hey, I'm a mom too. Or you still find yourself doing all the cooking and cleaning with, quote, unquote, no help. I connected with my community this week and I asked them this open question of how do you have a strong mindset on Mother's Day when and goodness, you guys really showed up and filled in the blank. So we're using those examples, what I just shared with you here to help you see and feel empowered to know that a fantastic Mother's Day begins and ends with you. So when we come into Mother's Day and we put this focus and expectation on it being about how other people are showing up and what they're doing, what they're thinking, the effort that they're putting in, we lose sight of where our true power rests and resides, and that is truly in who we believe we are, what we choose to do, how we're choosing to show up. No matter what day it is, if it's Mother's Day, Father's Day, your birthday, somebody else's birthday, a big day of celebrating for a huge accomplishment that you've had recently or that could be for somebody else. No matter what the day is, how we choose to show up is entirely up to us. So I want you to take this perspective into Mother's Day before I share the three things that I really want you to do. The first, underlying Thing that I know like you must do is understand who are you. Like really get crystal clear on the I AM statements that you're using on a daily basis. And as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter in law, as a sister, as a friend, any role that you take up in your life, I need you to stay hyper aware of the I am statements that you're using because you are not forced in any way to to be someone that you don't want to be. If you choose to show up to a role, then you also get to choose who you're going to be in that role. So all of these I am statements that we're carrying into Mother's Day are going to make a huge difference. If you go into Mother's Day thinking I am unappreciated, I promise you it does not matter what efforts and intentions your family has to help celebrate you that day and do the, the extra special things that are out of the ordinary and to lift up the day. If you believe I am unappreciated, if you believe that and you see that it's all you'll look for, you'll just look for the thing they didn't do. And worse than that, I mean, seriously, what's worse than really trying so hard to do something for someone else and they don't even notice it, let alone appreciate it because they were so focused on what wasn't going the way they wanted. It's like having a family gathering. And I think we've all been in this position or we know someone that has been and we're coming to this family gathering or we're going to a group event with our friends and there's that one person that's going to be there and it's like that one person that's going to be there that maybe we don't want to be around gets all of our focus and all of our attention. All of a sudden we're like, well, I don't want to go because that person's going to be there. And we just completely ignore the fact that there are 10 other that we would love to be around that are going to be there. So it's truly about where we decide to put our focus and your I am statements matter. So just a warning here, these three things are not going to work. Absolutely not going to work. If you still go into Mother's Day thinking I am unappreciated, I am ignored, I am unnoticed, I am replaceable, I am, gosh, overlooked, right? I'm taken advantage of if you see yourself that way, it's all you're going to look for, no matter how special the day is meant to be for you. So that's our first big thing here. I need you to decide intentionally who you are in this role. As a wife, as a mother, as a sister, daughter, friend, daughter in law. Any role that you take up, you need to be the one deciding the I am statements that you're going to carry into this day and these roles. And it's going to make a huge difference for you. Now let's get into the real three things that you need to do. On top of those I am statements that will truly make this the best Mother's Day you've ever had. Number one treat this day just as special as someone else's. So if you are someone that's like, oh, for Father's Day, you get them a gift and you have the kids make cards and you make a special breakfast and you carve out time to do something he really enjoys. However you approach Father's Day, put the same amount of effort into Mother's Day. It's just like for birthdays, I have a little tradition in my home that I make everyone in my family a birthday cake for their birthday, myself included. I make my own birthday cake because I am just as deserving, just as worthy, just as special special as every other family member that I have that I bake a cake for. And it's not about me doing it all. It's about I want to put the same amount of intention and effort and love into myself as I would anybody else. That's the point. So if I'm going to do something special for Father's Day, I'm for sure going to do something special for Mother's Day. And that doesn't take the opportunity away from somebody else to do these things for me. And this is where I want you to look at this perspective of consider it building your own sundae. So you can look at what are the key ingredients you need to make this an extremely special day for you where you're like, no matter what, man, if we, if I just go on that walk right there's. There's a scoop of vanilla right there. If I go on that walk and I can make those blueberry lemon sweet rolls in the Joanna Gaines cookbook, man, boom. There's my scoop of strawberry right there. Like, that's what I really want to do. And if I can cover my kitchen table in construction paper and just sit down and paint and color and craft with my kids. Well, there's my third scoop of chocolate ice cream. Now I have three scoops of ice cream already in my bowl ready for me to continue building on as part of my Sunday. And these are things that I've intentionally done. Now, what else can I intentionally add to my Sunday? I'm going to build my own sundae. What else can I add? I'm going to make sure I wear my favorite outfit, and I do my hair just how I like it. I put on my mascara, and I'm going to feel so put together. I'm going to feel like truly the mother that I am, so grateful that I get to be. And I'm going to dress like her on Mother's Day when. What did I just do? I just added some sweet treats on top of that sundae. Let's call that the chocolate freaking syrup right there. Like, oh, man, I love me some good chocolate syrup. Call it caramel if you really want. If you're like one of those marshmallow drizzle girls, I love that for you. The point is, I know what I can do that makes this day so special for me. Ensuring that I see to it that the things that matter most to me are done. And I'm not going to put these unspoken expectations on others or treat the day as if. As if the just the meaning of it relies on somebody else understanding. That's the thing that I think is so beautiful about motherhood, is nobody else needs to understand what it means to me. Motherhood gives me this opportunity to pursue something greater than myself, bigger than myself, and it doesn't need to make sense to anybody else. Like, I am a huge practicer of language in my home. And to me, that's a huge part of my motherhood, is controlling and refining and conditioning what I say to my kids to have extraordinary meaning behind it so I can be proud of all of that. And that doesn't need to make sense to anybody else. It's part of my motherhood. It doesn't need to be a priority of somebody else's to be extremely meaningful and special to me. And motherhood gives me the opportunity to do that. So I need you to consider, what can you do that would be a part of building your own sundae for me? Also, on Mother's Day every year, I make those like I referenced Joanna Gaines blueberry lemon sweet rolls. They're so stinking good. And you know what? I love to be in my kitchen baking. I don't want somebody else to take that over. I don't want someone else to step in and do everything that I normally do as a mother on my special Mother's Day. Like, to me on Mother's Day, I want to pay attention to everything I get to do as a mother. I want that to be my day of just embracing and remembering. Look how good this is. So if I can play need to Breathe or Harrison Storm or just one of my favorite artists while I'm making those blueberry sweet rolls and inviting my kids into the kitchen and, you know, wearing that dress that I love, I'm building my own Sunday. I'm romanticizing my everyday life and reminding myself, look how special this is. Look what you get to do. So that's the first thing that you're going to do, is build your own Sunday. Get crystal clear on what it would mean for you to make sure that your favorite ingredients of a Sunday are there because of what you're doing intentionally. And then what anybody else decides to do is a bonus. It's like an extra treat. And we're going to talk about that in just a second. So the second thing that we're moving into is what we're choosing to put our focus in. And I told you that the importance of the I am statements that you use on a daily basis, especially going into motherhood, are going to determine what you're looking for. So if we carry in an I am statement that says I, I am unappreciated, then we're going to look for all of the ways unintentionally. Sure, our mind is still going to do it. Look for all of the ways that we perceive ourselves to be unappreciated because we didn't get the card, they didn't buy us the flowers, they're not initiating that family walk that maybe we hinted at or, gosh, the weather changed and now the fishing plan or going up the mountain got changed. Whatever it was like, your mind will pick apart all of the ways that you perceive to be unappreciated, even if everyone set this intention of the day to appreciate you. And it's. It's just kind of sad that that's what our mind does, and that's what it does. So carry that I am statement that you intentionally want. I am appreciated. I am valued. I am treasured. I am irreplaceable. I. I am flourishing. I am cherished. I am irrefutable. I am valued. I am nurtured, nourishing, motherly, whatever I am statement really speaks to you, carry that into your mother's Day. And that's going to bring us to our second point of choosing intentionally what you're going to look for in what you get to experience each day as a mother. I want you to consider when your kids come up to you and give you a hug, how special is it that you're the one that gets that hug? How many other people get a hug like that? How many other people in your child's life do they say, hey Mom, I love you? Like, pay attention to the little things that you and only you get to experience as a mother. To me, that's what Mother's Day is about. It's about embracing and remembering this valuable role that we get to take up. And in the past few years especially this has become more and more just apparent to me of this is something that so many people are praying for and begging for and just want so, so badly, the opportunity to be a mother. And here I am with three little boys and my fourth baby on the way here I am being the mother that I want to be and I want to pay attention to everything that I get to experience. The way my 4 year old hangs on my arms and looks up at me with these big puckered up lips. Who else is he doing that to? I've never personally seen him do that to anybody else. Not one other person. And I could say the same thing about my, my little guy who will be too soon and my oldest who will be sick soon. I could say the same thing about all of them. I could say the same thing about the baby in my belly. There is not one single person on this planet that will ever have opportunity to carry any of my children the way that I have gotten to. And that's what I want to pay attention to on Mother's Day is looking for what only I get to experience. The conversations that my kids have only with me. The way that they look at only me, the way they talk to only me. The way that they really want something and they go out of their way to ask me for it. We are so special, irreplaceable, called just divinely positioned perfectly to be their mother. And that's what Mother's Day is about, is realizing what only you get to experience. And I want you to go into Mother's Day with that focus in your everyday life. What is it between you and your children that only you get to experience? From potty training, to being up with them in the middle of the night, to teaching them and answering their questions that goodness, sometimes we wonder if we even have the Answer to when my kids ask me about Jesus, I'm like, wow, I want to be able to answer that and know for certain in my answers. And, and again, like, that's something only I get to do right now. And I'm very grateful for that. So what is it about your daily life with your kids that only you get to experience? The things that they only say to you, do around you or for you, the things that they would only ask you for and express in safety and certainty around you. It's so special. And that's the second key to having the most wonderful Mother's Day you've ever had is to pay attention to what only you get to experience. Experience. I mean, have a notebook out on your counter and just write down the little things. Write down the little things of like I mentioned the way my 4 year old hangs on my arm and just like, like hugs my arm and strokes it and looks up at me with these just unbeatable blue eyes and his beautiful tan skin, those long lashes and his dirty blonde hair and he tells me that he loves me and he gives me a kiss and he says silly things that really, how many other people are ever going to get to hear from him? I'm the lucky one. And that's what I want you to pay attention to on Mother's Day. So have your notebook out on your counter, maybe just in a, in a place that you can just jot down little notes throughout the day. And you can do this leading up to Mother's Day too, just for good practice and good measure to make sure the focus is there. We have said it intentionally. And, and lastly, the third thing you can do to make this the best Mother's Day you've ever had is invite others into your special day. Let everything someone else does for you be the toppings on your Sunday. It's extra and much appreciated. So in our first point, we talked about building your own sundae, making sure you play the music while cooking breakfast. And you choose a breakfast that you're like, man, I just, I love that I get to make this. And you wear clothes that really help you see yourself as the mother that you want to be. And you're allowing yourself on your Mother's Day to show up as the exact mother that you want to be. That's building your Sunday. And then this third part of inviting others into your special day, if you get flowers and your husband made the time for your kids to prepare a card for you and, and maybe there's a special plan to take you to your favorite restaurant to go get crepes together. Or maybe they've planned a family picnic. Or goodness, maybe you woke up to a clean house and you're like, where the heck did these cleaning fairies come from? Or whatever it is for you, whatever somebody else does for you, let it be special. Let it be invited into your day. Additional topping on your Sunday that you receive well and with gratitude. Because the joy of your day, the meaning of your day, the just the complete purpose of this day for you is not dependent on those things. It's not dependent on other people. It's up to you and what you're looking for and who you choose to see yourself as and how you choose to frame your Mother's Day in a way of, this is a time that I pay attention, I remember, and I embrace. And whenever I approach Mother's Day that way, I'm telling you, it's like my favorite day of the year. Not because I was given something special. I mean, my husband's never done, like, push presents for me. I think that's great. If your spouse ever did that for you. I'm just saying I've never gotten one of those. And that's okay. Because what makes it special for me has nothing to do with. With what somebody else is doing. It has everything to do with who I'm showing up as and what I'm looking for. So this third part of invite others into your special day. What toppings are people offering to put on your Sunday? Are they throwing some almond slivers your way and some good whipped cream and some of those yummy, tasty red cherries like, gosh, look at the Sunday that's being built. All because you put the foundation there in the first place. You put that foundation there, and you get to own that and appreciate that and just see everything else as, wow, this is extra and much appreciated. So I know, I feel very confident that when you choose to go into this Mother's Day with an intentional I am statement that allows you to look for what you want to see, I am appreciated. I am valued. I am, gosh, restored and restorative and rested and nourished and, like, just praised here, I'm irreplaceable. Take those I am statements into your Mother's Day. Build your own Sunday by having those key pieces for you that are like, this is what really makes it special for me. That's perfect. Romanticize that day. Romanticize your life and pay attention. The second part, pay attention to what only you get to experience as a mother. Take this day in as a form of remembering and embracing, enriching the parts that you love the most, letting them breathe, letting them take more time that day and be magnified and be all that you talk about. You know, look for what you get to experience and finally invite others into your special day. Anything and everything is just extra. It's on top of your Sunday that you built and you can enjoy it well because there's not going to be this underlying resentment. There's not going to be this underlying looking for all the ways that you're not appreciated. We're going to leave that behind and approach things in an entirely new way. So I know that this is going to be your best Mother's Day as you put these tips into practice. I'm excited to hear from you and how this mentality serves you. And remember, get that little notebook out and just leave it on your counter so you can be jotting down those ideas and what you notice only you get to experience because you're the mom. So, so special. So special. I'm excited for you. Happy Mother's Day, my sweet friend. I'm so grateful that I get to be here with you and I'll talk to you real soon. Oh, my sweet friend, thank you for joining me on this week's episode of the momset podcast. Please take a minute to leave a review and share the show. If you loved it, I'd love to see connected as we continue to learn and grow in motherhood right alongside each other.