112. Keeping Enthusiasm Flowing At the End of Pregnancy

Welcome to the momset podcast, my friend. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero, and as a woman of God, an adoring wife, and a mother of three darling boys, I am passionate about giving you the tools you need to build a mindset skill set that enriches your experience through motherhood and daily life. I've had my fair share of challenges and hardship throughout my life, and that is exactly how I came to this place of finding purpose to my pain and helping you do the same. I know we can thrive right where we are at, and it's time for us to take back motherhood and by being the mommy that we want to be right now. Thank you for being here and making this a wonderful place for me to show up alongside you. I am approaching the very end of my fourth pregnancy, and I know that the end of pregnancy can be such a different experience from one woman to the next. We have our physical limitations. We're feeling tired, we're feeling excited, we're feeling hormonal, and holy moly. There's just so many different circumstances that we can all be going through. And even with all of that being true, we can feel differently, we can experience different things. There is one thing we all have in common, and that is having a mindset during this time. So I want you to be able to take this perspective that I've been carrying through the last little bit of my pregnancy that has truly been helping me keep enthusiasm flowing. Even at the end of pregnancy, even when I'm feeling tired, even when I. My goodness, my back, my hips, I'm feeling more symptoms, my body's getting ready and those waves of hormones coming over me. I'll find myself crying over something that I'm like, really, though? Is this what. This is what we're doing right now? And you know what? So freaking be it. So I have those circumstances going on, too. And this one little perspective has brought an enormous amount of just enthusiasm, intentionality, accountability, and. And a readiness to me where I can see, like, yes, we're right here at the end, and I'm not going to wish it away. I'm not going to spend time thinking about what's coming next. Like, I know change is coming. I know pregnancy's coming to an end. I know I'm gonna take these compression stockings off, and pretty soon I'll be wearing shorts for the first time in almost an entire freaking year. And while I'm excited for those things, I also just don't want to miss out on right now. I don't want to Miss out on this last little bit as a family of five, this last little bit of this pregnancy. Like, what if it is my last pregnancy? I, I want to, I want to keep a good mentality, a good emotional baseline, and a piece about myself that where I'm at right now is good. And where I'm going is also good. So this, this one perspective keeping enthusiasm flowing at the end of pregnancy. Here it is. Ask yourself this question. If I have my baby tonight, what will I be glad I did today? When you're feeling tired, remember, it is okay to feel tired. Holy smokes. I have for sure felt more tired this pregnancy than any of my others. And even when I feel tired, I really love to just feel intentional. And that's the cool thing about feelings, is while it's valid to feel tired, it's just not who you are. And anyone that wants to just drill into you and convince you, oh, you are tired, it's because you're pregnant and you shouldn't have to and, you know, just invite you and light the way to the victim mentality. Let's just take a healthy step back from that, a healthy step back and ask ourselves, is this how I want to feel? Is this how I want to think about my life, my body, myself, my friends, my family, my circumstances? Is this the behavior that I want to see myself having, even if I do feel tired? If the answer is freaking no, then we've got to change the mentality behind it. So you can feel tired and you can still recognize that there are things you can do that will actually help you feel intentional, accountable, rested, restored. So many times we get hung up on this idea that, oh, the only thing that I could possibly, that would possibly fix this is sleep, is being able to sit down, being able to scroll my phone. Have you ever gotten the sleep, though, and you spent an hour sitting down or you scrolled your phone, you did the thing that you said, well, that will for sure bring my energy back. That will help me. You drank the third cup of coffee, whatever, and then you actually didn't feel better. You still felt tired. Like there's, there's something to this, friends, there's something to it. So I want you to be able to recognize that while it is valid for you to feel every way that you feel, be it angry, sad, overwhelmed, overstimulated, anxious, anything, anything that you feel, it is okay to feel that way. And it's just not who you are. It's not who you are. So you can feel tired and still recognize, I, I am an intentional woman. I do the things I say I'm going to do. My word is good as gold. And I know that I am healthy. And because I am so healthy, I am choosing to drink a glass of ice water right now. I'm choosing to, instead of sit on my couch, go sit on my back, like my stairs in the backyard or sit on the grass in the backyard. The intentionality behind those choices is what's going to allow your identity to stay intact even when these emotions come up. So when you ask yourself that this question, you're inviting more perspectives into the mix where, yes, these circumstances are real and you are pregnant and have other children to care for. You have a job to show up to. You have a marriage that needs your attention as well. There's so many things. And if you had your baby tonight, there would still be something that you would be so glad you did today. And that's where I want you to put your focus. And because it brings intentionality and accountability back to the present moment, and it can look like so many different things. So when I first found myself just, like, playing with this question, if I had my baby tonight, what would I be so glad I did today? The first things that truly came to my mind were playing with my boys. Like, just stopping everything else that I was doing and build the stinking magnet tiles with my three boys on the floor. Like, I would be so glad that I took the time to do that. I would be so glad that I did lay on the couch with them and we watched Cars together. I'd be so glad that I took the time to make meals at home, knowing that postpartum, we're probably gonna be eating out a little bit more. Every decision has just had so much more intentionality behind it. And I want that for you, too. Because when we're making intentional choices, those choices compound, and in more ways than one. One intentional choice is likely to lead to another one. And more than that, more feelings of intentionality, more feelings of fulfillment and pride in ourselves. And you know what? Now I'm also going to wash my face before bed. Gosh, if I go into labor tonight, I'm going to be really glad I washed my face before bed. Like, just those little things that make all the difference. And maybe it is going to look bigger, right? Maybe it is going to be spending a few hours doing meal prep. Like, oh, I've been putting that off. You know, if I had my baby tonight, I would be glad that I made these four dinners and prepped them into the freezer or this snack, this easy breakfast to pull out and got it prepped into the freezer, I would be glad that I washed down my bathtub. You know, if you were to go out and tell people, oh yeah, I'm doing a day or like wherever, wherever you're at. And they saw you still showing up with enthusiasm and joy and fulfillment and like, you know, you're a woman on a mission. Watch the freak out. I know what I'm doing here and I'm getting it done. There would be so many people that are just ready to say, you shouldn't have to do all of that. And gosh, you really need to take it easy. You really need to slow down. You need to do less. And I've told you guys this before, the answer to all of these feelings of exhaustion is not doing less. It's doing more things intentionally. It's doing more things that are restorative. And I can be the first freaking person to tell you, washing down my bathtub before I go into labor that night, I am like very, very, very thrilled that I did that. For every labor I've had, I've been thrilled that I do that. And it's also easy to feel like, gosh, you're just in a rotten mood at the end of this pregnancy and you had this wave of hormones come over you, or there was just that one moment that felt really overwhelming and you spiraled down into the victim mentality. You know, how many people would justify you, how many people would say, oh, it's, you know, you're just so pregnant and everybody just needs to be able to help you out and give you the space, give you the time, like you're the one going through more than anybody else. Is that actually helping you? I really feel so curious. Is that actually helping you to receive that narrative and to swim in it in your head? No, it's not. Because you don't feel good about the way you're thinking of your kids or your spouse or your co workers or your in laws. And if you don't feel good about the way that you're thinking of them, they cannot change that for you if it's coming from your own thoughts. You have to be the one that changes it. Everyone else, sure, they could change. And that doesn't mean that you're going to change what you think about them. That's one of just the ways that we truly sabotage ourselves in our relationships is thinking that something and someone else needs to change before we can or before we do. And well, yes, you can make that choice. You don't have to. So while everyone could have an opportunity to justify you doing less or complaining or blaming or justifying why you didn't do the things that you said you wanted to do, whatever it is, sure. We all have people in our life that would offer that to us. I want to be a person in your life that offers you another perspective, offers you a way to see if you had your baby tonight, what would you be glad you did today? And sometimes that's going to look like completing a physical task, maybe meal prepping, cleaning the bathroom, washing the bassinet, getting it set up, getting the baby clothes done, spending time with your kids, or going on that walk, doing your workout, it can also be really simple things. If I had my baby tonight, I would be so glad that I stayed hydrated today. Do you know how much worse contractions and cramping are when you're dehydrated? Let me just freaking tell you this. They're way worse. Way worse. So wouldn't you be glad that you stayed so hydrated? And it's more than just the feeling of staying hydrated. It's the intentionality of, I said I was going to do that and I did it. And the more chances you can give yourself of that, the better you're going to feel every day just to do the things you say you're going to do, to recognize, hey, I would like that. And allowing yourself to have it. I would like to. To feel hydrated and allowing yourself to experience it. I would like to resolve conflict or miscommunications, misunderstandings with my spouse more smoothly and more quickly. Allow yourself to have it. Like, if you think you want something, why not let yourself do it? Why not let yourself go after it? Overcome that feeling of discomfort that says, oh, but I don't know how, but what if he's not as receptive as me, but what if it's not reciprocated? You know what? You're the one that said you want it, so go after it. Go after it. You said you want to feel hydrated. Well, then freaking drink up, sister. Drink your electrolytes, drink your water. Because if you go into labor tonight, you'd be so glad that you did. And it can look like eating your meals, it can look like taking your vitamins. It can just look like the smallest intentional choices that fulfill you. It can also look like rest, like really intentional rest, staying off your phone. If I had my baby tonight, I'd be so glad that I spent the entire day off My phone. I would be so glad that I took a nap. I would be so glad that I invited my kids in to make these affirmation cards with me. These birth affirmation cards that I prepped a couple meals or gosh, I just called and chatted with a good friend, listened to my favorite music, got my birth playlist set up, wrote a letter to my spouse. Like what? What are things that you would be glad asking myself this question. I told you, it's come down to just really, to me, sentimental things like where am I choosing to spend my time and focus right now? I want it to be embracing and cherishing these last few days as a family of five. I started a water fight in our backyard and fully clothed compression stockings on with leggings overneath it. Gosh dang it. My kids, my husband stinking soaked me and I loved it. I just loved that I let myself get soaking wet with some water balloons and I got my husband back real good, filling up the bowl and getting him too. And it was just so fun to laugh and play and see. This is so good. And I do have the energy, I do have the time, I do have the space, the capacity for all of this when I'm intentional with it. So if I had my baby tonight, I'd be so glad that we had that water fight. If I had my baby tonight, I would be so glad that I did what the next biggest way that I have seen this mentality work in my favor when I stay really intentional with it is with my. With my marriage, the way I'm communicating with my husband, the way there have been. I mean, he's trying to get a lot of things done before the baby's born, and so am I. So as we're doing this and he's trying to spend time with the kids, spend time with me, get these things done, and I'm doing the same things. Like there's just been times that expectations haven't been met or something took longer than we anticipated. It didn't go quite as we planned, just life right. And those are typically times that I would find my mind swimming in this, like initially going to a victim mentality of, of course this is happening and I'm just going to sit here and freaking complain in my little head or blame him that things didn't go how I wanted and justify my crappy attitude. Like I can catch myself doing all those same things. And I have noticed myself in the past, especially when I'm pregnant, just allowing myself to sit there and vocalize it, sit there and magnify it. And because I've been asking myself this question. If I had my baby tonight, what do I be so glad I did today? I have held myself so accountable to the way that I'm showing up in those times that expectations are not met, that there's a misunderstanding, that my husband might be feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, overstretched, or I may be feeling those ways. I'm setting this remarkable example. And I'm so proud of myself. I'm so proud of myself. You do. I get it right? Every single time. No, no. And honestly, you can just, like, know that though I don't need to be. I don't need to spend time talking about the ways that I'm falling short. If you talk more about the ways that you're falling short, what the freak are the chances that you're gonna really excel and exceed and get better at this? If you're spending so much time talking about the ways that you're still falling short, like, no, let yourself hype yourself freaking up. Okay. We're gonna be our own best friend. I'm ready for it. I'm ready to hear you talk about it. So when my. When those things have happened, the way I've allowed myself to quickly resolve a misunderstanding and even the way I've allowed myself to communicate with Grace, So if my husband did say something that I really just wasn't sitting well with me, the way I communicated with Grace so that we can address it together has been top freaking notch, top notch. When my expectations are not met, top freaking notch. The way that I am extending Grace and even seeing the commonality between the two of us is we both wanted it to go like X and it turned out like Y, and that's hard. Here's what I could really use help with, and I'd love to know what you could use help with so we can get back into the rhythm, back into the flow. And. And I just. I see myself leading a whole new way into what's coming up as this postpartum experience, welcoming a new family member. I want to be on a great level of communication before that happens. So if I have my baby tonight, you better freaking believe I'm going to be so glad that I let the little things be little, that I communicated with Grace, that I remained in harmony with my spouse. Seriously, what I don't want. Here's what I don't freaking want is to cause an argument or there was. There's like, you know, an argument happened. Regardless if I Caused it or not. And I didn't do anything to make it better. Like, I just made it worse. And then what happens? Contractions start up. Well, guess what, friends? My husband is like my birth partner. I have home births. He's. He's the guy. And even if I didn't have home births, even if he wasn't, like, basically my freaking doula at the same time, even if all those things weren't happening, I'd still want us welcoming our child together in love, in harmony, in unison, and seeing, like, we did this and we can celebrate this together and look how beautiful our child is not. Oh, wow. This is freaking awkward because we've been arguing for the past five hours, and now my contractions are starting, and I'd really like some counter pressure right now. But I haven't been talking to you, so we. Whatever am I supposed to say? Hey, I know we're arguing right now, but could you just help me out and give me some counter pressure? Or just randomly start talking again? Oh, by the way, my water broke. Like, that doesn't sound like a nice way to start birth. Like, that doesn't sound. That is just not my vision, friends. Not my vision. So holding myself more accountable, who am I choosing to be? How am I choosing to communicate? Can I let the little things be little? Yes. So let's freaking do it. That has come from this mentality. If I have my baby tonight, what will I be glad I did today? What would I be glad I did for my spouse, for myself, for our marriage? What would I be glad I did for my other three children, for myself as a mother? The preparation that I put in place, the framework that I can trust that I have in place so I can spend good, meaningful time with my kids, with my spouse, with my baby during postpartum, just the way that I want to it. And I just wanna really emphasize here that it's not always gonna sound like something you feel like doing or something you would even say that you want to do in that moment. And that's why this perspective is so powerful. If I have my baby tonight, what would I be glad I did today? Because oftentimes when I think of meal prep, let me just tell you right now, that's not something I want to do. When I think of why, like, why washing down my. My bathtub, if I were to go into labor tonight, I'm gonna use my bathtub, right? That's not something that I feel like doing. I don't always feel like building blocks with my kids or having A water party in the backyard, especially one that I'm involved in. And those are still good things for me to do. They still serve me postpartum. They still give me the experience that I want to have with the people of my home and. And for myself. So it's okay if the. If you ask yourself, if I have my baby tonight, what will I be glad I did today? And the answers don't sound like something you feel like doing, you know? Oh, I'd be. I would be glad that I stay hydrated. I really just don't feel like drinking water right now. Okay. Well, I think that's a really awesome example of a time that something so simple, so small, and really could just make all the difference for you is worth doing. Even when we don't feel like it and we could say, I don't want to and you're going to do it anyway. It's so important for us to learn to do the things that we don't feel like doing or even say that we want to do right now. So I hope you guys take this mentality, if I have my baby tonight, what will I be glad I did today? Take the mentality and run with it. The answers that come up, really do them. Let yourself do what you would be glad you got done, even if you don't feel like it, even if you don't want to. In that moment, give yourself these gifts. Use this perspective. Keep me updated, and I will keep you guys updated on goodness. Grow in our family by one more and I'm just truly over the freaking moon. So, so dang giddy about it. I'll stay connected with you guys over on Instagram at Tessaromero Underscore and you can dive into my courses, but by visiting momset.com or alignmentjournaling. Com, dive into the courses there. Get started in this work. I promise you it'll be more than worth every single ounce of effort that it takes. Be it any second you invest into your mind, any penny that you put forward, all the time that it requires for you to practice, it will be so worth it. I'm so proud of you. Let's keep moving mountains in motherhood and making this the very best experience for us and, and our whole family. Oh, my sweet friend, thank you for joining me on this week's episode of the momset podcast. Please take a minute to leave a review and share the show. If you loved it, I'd love to stay connected as we continue to learn and grow in motherhood right alongside each other.