114. Over Your Due Date? Five Helpful Perspectives!

Welcome to the momset podcast, my friend. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero. And as a woman of God, an adoring wife, and a mother of three darling boys, I am passionate about giving you the tools you need to build a mindset skill set that enriches your experience through motherhood and daily life. I've had my fair share of challenges and hardship throughout my life, and that is exactly how I came to this place of finding purpose to my pain and helping you do the same. I know we can thrive right where we are at, and it's time for us to take back motherhood and by being the mommy that we want to be right now. Thank you for being here and making this a wonderful place for me to show up alongside you. Let's be really freaking honest. Going over your due date has such a bad rap. It totally does. Like, there's this really daunting vision of what it looks like to be even just one day over your due date. And this is my first time that I have been over my due date and I wanted a different experience. I didn't want it to look like that. And you all know how much I just believe in that power of vision. What we choose to focus on, that's what I journal every single day using the alignment journaling method. I linked it below for you if you need help getting your vision in a place where you can see yourself just thriving and at peace and just savoring this time that you're in, especially if you're going over your supposed due date. So all three of my boys were born at 39 weeks, 5 days. I can tell you this, I was convinced. I was convinced that my fourth child would be born at 39 weeks, 5 days. Like a hundred percent convinced. So when that day came, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is the day I'm having my baby. And I did not go into labor. Did not go into labor. And then the next day came. Did not go into labor. The next day came and I had this complete false labor experience that I literally called my midwife and my in laws and was like, yep, I'm in labor, baby's coming tonight. And my in laws drive two and a half hours to get to us. And then everything stopped. And I was like, oh, baby. So that was the previous podcast episode that we did about overcoming people pleasing in your pregnancy. Because, goodness, babies in our bodies just are not concerned with pleasing other people. And it's not about that. It's such a cool experience to just be okay with that. And Find acceptance and learn. Now, with this one, technically, I went five days over my anticipated due date. And with that, there was one night that I was laying on my bed and I was like, you know, I just, like, have loved this experience of going over my due date. And I. I don't see it as this terrible thing. It's dragging on. You're so uncomfortable. Nothing fits anymore. You have no energy. You can't do anything like, please just make this stop. Make it be over. I didn't have that experience. And I want to share with you personally why I loved going over my due date. Again, this is my first time experiencing it. I really worked on my perspective in my vision, writing, and I'm hopeful that these five points that I share with you will help you have a better perspective if you ever or are going over your due date. A better perspective and just a better vision of what you look like, how you feel, what you're doing during this time. So point number one of why I loved going over my due date. And before I even get to that, friends, you will not even believe this. I wrote out these five points on my bed, and then my water broke. Laying down in my bed. I'm not even kidding. Laying down in my bed, my water broke. And as I wrote out the fifth point, like, I wrote out the fifth point, pressed a little period mark right there. So I had it in my notes how I was gonna record this podcast episode. And then, boom, my water broke, and I felt so shocked. I was like, this is literally in complete disbelief. I could not believe this was happening. I was. I was completely convinced that I was not going into labor that night. And I was just gonna, like, write this out. Marcus is going to get done with, like, the bedtime that he was doing, and then we are going to hang out and go to bed early and just get another great night's sleep before baby comes. And then my water broke, and I was like, oh, boy. So the birth story is going to be a very fun episode together. So let's get into these five points because you need to have a great perspective and vision if you're going to be approaching your due date and going over it. You need to see yourself as who you want to be. So the first point is I really loved that I had everything done and ready in time because I had this anticipated due date in my head of when I was gonna have my baby, that I was just, like, planning and ready for that day. And when that day came and left, it was like, oh, man, I've Already done all the things that I wanted done. And it honestly felt like. Imagine you go into the school year and it's a nine month school year, whatever, and you have like, the teacher tells you about a project that's due at the end of the school year, and they tell you at the beginning of the school year, this project's due at the end of the school year. You have all year to work on it. And it's like, for once, you're the student that was so proactive and you got it done on time. And then the teacher at the very end says, you know, I've been thinking about it and you all have an extra week. You're like, oh, my gosh, this is so nice. I can literally just chill. I already have my project done. I'm not like, stressing Sally over there. I'm not just rushing through everything trying to, like, pull and piece this together because I didn't prioritize it. I already did all these things. And you feel so freaking proud of yourself. That is exactly how I felt. Like, I felt like the student, and that was not how I was in school. So this was, again, very rewarding for me. I was like, I am the student that got it done on time. And then my teacher was like, you have an extra week. And like, well, freaking sweet because I already got all that done, so now I'm gonna really chill. So that was a really fun way to look at it. Just that first perspective. Second, I. This pregnancy, more than any other, I spent more time savoring the way things are right now instead of it being like, oh my gosh, this day is coming. I need to hurry past. I need to, like, rush through and you're just, like, missing the way things are right now. I was able to realize, like, slow down, be in it, and realize it will never be like this again. I will never be this age with these children that are this age doing this thing with these favorites and these funny things that they say. And the way that our day is, it'll never be just like this ever again. And it just felt like being super present and resting more fully. Like, I. I was just there and I was really in it with my three kids and this pregnant body and feeling those little kicks and wiggles inside of me. And with my husband, like, it was so nice to just carry that perspective with me of it'll never be just like this again. It's about to all change. It's about to all be very different. So it helps you stay a little bit more present. Third point. I had a lot of good thing moments that I felt grateful that my. That I felt like I was being given this extra time and the baby was still in my belly and I could be up and moving and could get something extra done. Personally, I rest a lot during postpartum. Now I have the baby and I. I've rested more this time than any other. And feeling weak just in my body physically is a very difficult challenge for me. Postpartum, that's like, one of the hardest parts for me. Postpartum is just not feeling strong, not feeling ready, and, like, I can just be there and carry the things and do the things and move. And it's really hard for me personally. So every time I was, like, picking up my kids or they're like, hey, mom, can you come play catch? And we're playing catch in the street, or I'm making dinner, we're just. We're hanging out together. I'm. I'm cleaning, right? I'm just up doing something. I just had this thought of, like, man, good thing I haven't had the baby yet, because I wouldn't be able to do this right now. So it became more of a a good thing moment instead of, oh, my gosh, when is this going to be over? It's dragging out. I'm tired, I'm over it. I'm blah, blah, blah. Like, really staying intentional about my I am statements is huge for myself and for you. And just again, keeping that vision of, this is where I'm at right now. This is what I can do right now. Good thing. It's a good thing that the baby is still in my belly, because now I can still do these things. And you know, guys, you're going to have the baby anyway. Like, that is for sure happening. So good thing you have just a tiny bit more time to do something. Another. This is our fourth point now, going into a perspective that I just love so much. I use this in a wide variety of ways in my life, and I used it especially in those days past, quote, unquote. My due date is. I would tell myself, you know, this is different than I thought and better than I imagined. Like, different than I thought and probably better than I imagined. And that helped my mind stay out of this negative story. So if your mind immediately jumps to these negative stories, try using this little phrase. This is different than I thought and probably better than I imagine. So you're approaching your due date, or you're over your due date. You're like me five days over your due date, or maybe you're one that goes two weeks over your due date. Whatever it is, it's okay if it is different than you thought it was going to be. My birth experience was much different than I thought it was going to be. I did not think my water was going to break first. I was like. Actually, I felt like I was in freaking complete denial. Like, my mind was just, like, arguing with reality so hard at that point. At that point that it was really hard for me to just, like, accept labor's happening and move into that state of working with labor and working with my body. Because my brain just kept saying, no, no, my water doesn't break. First my water is supposed to break glass. Like, this is supposed to be my cushion during contractions, and now all this fluid is leaking. Like, oh, boy. So I had some work to do on my mind during labor. It was a whole adventure. So just keep that perspective in mind, though. If you go past the day you thought for sure you'd have your baby, it's okay if it's different than you thought. And it's probably going to be a lot better than you imagine it right now. So I was convinced I was going to have the baby 39 weeks, five days, like my other three, and that didn't happen. So that's different than I thought. And I'm telling you, those extra days, that extra full week I was given was so much better than I imagined. Like, it was so freaking good. Let it be good so it can be different than you thought and better than you imagined. Now, this is the fifth point, friends, just get this picture in your head with me. I'm laying on my bed, on my side, completely convinced I'm gonna get a great night's sleep tonight. Clearly, obviously the baby's not coming because all of my labors start earlier in the evening that I know baby's coming that night. So after I kiss my kids to sleep, I will just go tuck away into my room and I'm in labor. And that's how it's been with the other three. So clearly I'm not having a baby tonight because it's already 8 o' clock. And I was very. I was very sold on that story in my head. So this fifth point is so funny to me because I'm laying in bed, I already showered, I've got my pajamas on, and I'm just. I had this podcast idea about going over your due date. Some new perspectives to consider that have helped me. I was excited about it. So I'm writing my Ideas out on my phone, in the notes of my phone. It's eight o' clock at night. And this is the fifth point I wrote. I'm not even kidding. I write out, my patience and humility is a whole new level. And reflecting on that growth over the past six years was incredibly fulfilling. I wrote that because I've grown a lot in the last six years since having my first son to this pregnancy. And then my water broke. Like, I literally put a period after the word fulfilling and my water broke and I literally. I literally sat up and I was like, are you kidding me right now? Like, I. I just said that. I was like, are you kidding me right now? Made a little video of myself feeling completely shocked. My husband's still in the kid's room. So I was like, well, I'm gonna freaking show them this video. I'm like, I. My water just freaking broke. And I am just sitting there like, lord, did you want me to just really emphasize patience and humility this whole time? Is that what this was about? This whole, like, you know, one week over, five days over, whatever. Is that what this was about? I just had a whole discussion with. With the Lord. I was like, is this. You just wanted me to be a little bit more humble, a little bit more patient? Is that what this is? And now I learned the lesson because that was the fifth point that I wrote. And you're like, okay, you may proceed. You may go into labor now. And what's also so funny about this is when I also put. Reflecting on the growth over the past six years has been incredibly fulfilling. My water broke first with my first son, and it broke very last before delivering my babies with my next, too. So this labor starting out was very similar to my first son six years ago. Isn't that just like. Are you just kind of sitting there like, wow, that's freaking insane? Because I'm thinking, that's freaking insane that my labors would start around the same time and in the same way as my first son compared to my fourth delivery. That's freaking crazy to me. That's just crazy. And the fact that I just wrote it out in the notes of my phone and then my water broke. I'm like, wow, this is insane. So. So, friends, these are our five points that you have to look forward to. Next level, patience and humility, where you just kind of humble yourself and you're like, you know, this isn't about me. Like, I try, it's really easy, especially during pregnancy, for our mind to make everything about us and really it's not about us, it's about the baby. It's not about us. We are the conduit of life here and it is about the baby. So humility is not thinking less of yourself. That is a common misconception with the, with being humble. I go, I'm just supposed to think less of myself and downplay who I am and what I'm capable of. And it's like, no, the frick, no. You're just supposed to think of yourself less often, think of others more. That's humility. So you have this, I mean, you go over your due date and you're just like hit with this next level patience of wow, this really is outside of my control. Alrighty then. I mean, I had people tell me, take castor oil and sari clage on your belly and curb stepping and have sex. Like they're telling me to do all these things to induce labor and I'm like, the frick, the baby's gonna come anyway. Like why, why do I want to do more of these things? Like to try and make it happen sooner when I know it's just gonna happen anyway and I could just relax. I'm just gonna rest. Thank you. Anyway, not judging if you tried any of those things by any means. I'm just saying I chose rest. I chose take it easy. So let's review our five points here of perspective. Since I went five days over number one, having everything done a little bit early, ready in time. So you are like that student that got the year long project finished early and then the teacher was like, hey, you have an extra week and you're just chilling. Kick back, relax, you got the project done. Way to freaking go. The second one, spend more time savoring the way things are now because they're just never going to be just like that again. This is the last time they're going to be just like this. So take it in while you can. Point number three, I had a lot of good thing moments where I'm playing catch with my son and it's like, well, good thing the baby didn't come last night because I would not be able to play catch right now. Good thing I haven't had the baby yet. He's tucked away inside while I navigate the three large tantrums happening in front of me. Like, good freaking thing goes good thing moments. Hang on tight to em. Our fourth one is this. Using that perspective. This is different than I thought and probably better than I imagined. And fifth point, lastly, patience and humility is a whole next level. And if your water breaks, you know, right when you get to the point of accepting that and being at peace with going over your due date. Bless you sweet mama friend. I know exactly what that's like. And stay tuned for the birth story because that is a whole friggin adventure hoot of a perspective. And it was hands down my hardest labor. And with each day that I have now been with my baby, it's been about two weeks now. I am more and more proud of myself because it was so hard and I'm still so proud of the way I showed up for my son, for my husband and just through my birth experience, the way I showed up for myself. There was some really hard moments in there. And you know, it's. I really believe that it's those hard moments, it's those hard times that we find to be the most fulfilling when we show up as who we want to be. It's not in the easy times like, oh, everything went exactly according to plan. That was so easy. And that you're going to be really proud of yourself. It's going to be when you're challenged that you're like holy crap, I handled that really freaking well and that was really hard. And look what I did. That's when we get that fulfillment. So I'm proud of you. Thanks for connecting with me here, sweet friends. I hope this episode was helpful for you. Go ahead and leave a review rating and connect with me over on Instagram and let's get your mind working with you, serving you through all seasons and phases of motherhood, marriage and just life in general. I'll see you you later. Oh my sweet friend. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode of the momset podcast. Please take a minute to leave a review and share the show. If you loved it, I'd love to stay connected as we continue to learn and grow in motherhood right alongside each other.