118. Jump Out Of Bed With These Two Perspectives

Welcome to the momset podcast, my friend. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero, and as a woman of God, an adoring wife, and a mother of three darling boys, I am passionate about giving you the tools you need to build a mindset skill set that enriches your experience through motherhood and daily life. I've had my fair share of challenges and hardship throughout my life, and that is exactly how I came to this place of finding purpose to my pain and helping you do the same. I know we can thrive right where we are at, and it's time for us to take back motherhood by being the mommy that we want to be right right now. Thank you for being here and making this a wonderful place for me to show up alongside you. Who here wants to have an incredible morning routine? I mean, you want to wake up feeling excited to jump out of bed. You want to be more childlike, right? You want to be like, oh, man, it's bedtime already. And then as soon as your eyes just crack open the tiniest bit in the morning, doesn't matter what time it is, you are popping out of bed because you're like, hey, man, look at me go. This is my day to take on just like a child. If that's what you want more of, then I have a perspective. For you personally, I am. Gosh, where are we at? Postpartum. Goodness. Jakey's about to be, like, four months old, so we're somewhere around there, postpartum. And I am committed, fully committed, back into my morning routine. And it feels glorious. Is my baby sleeping through the night? No. A hundred percent? No. Actually, my two youngest kids are not sleeping through the night right now. And my two older ones, well, one of them comes to my room every single night for the past three years. So, you know, we just adapt. And my point, though, is, even though the circumstances may be less than ideal, most nights, I will still get up and do my morning routine because it matters to me. I know. I feel so, so much better. I just. My mental clarity is better. I just have this, like, pep in my step. I feel just energetic through my day, and I want that for myself. I truly want that for myself, especially working from home, having four kids, being in my marriage, like, pursuing so much. I just. I really want to feel my best. Um, so anyway, I. Getting back into my morning routine, I noticed that my mind had some less than ideal thoughts right when I woke up, and that was not helpful. It wasn't helpful for me to be like, oh, man, Jake woke up four times Last night and oh, he was up more or I didn't get enough good sleep or looking at my watch that tracks my sleep. Maybe my sleep score was like in the 50s and I would say, oh, I should just go back to sleep for the next hour. And the more like I thought that way though I just had really low energy. I felt frustrated, I felt annoyed, irritable and more tired. I honestly felt more tired when I spent time thinking about how many times the baby was up. What my toddler did in the night. I mean, just a side note, my toddler will literally get out of his crib at 2 in the morning, turn on every light in our house, walking to my bedroom with my husband and come in there and, and say, dad, Dad, I build blocks. Dad, you wanna come build blocks? At 2 in the morning, every light's on in the trail from his room to our room. And you know, we're working on it, we're working on it. We've made a lot of progress since then. I'm just saying if that is like something that you're going through, do I really actually do get it. Fortunately, we found a lot of humor in the process. Cuz you gotta be able to web, you know, you just have to be able to laugh through it. It helps so much. So anyway, with all of that going on, I wanted to spend more time just when I'm up, I'm up and I want to get up. I've had experience with morning routines in the past. I wanted to get back into that because I know I feel so much better when I do. And I needed a new perspective to help me do so. Because the negative perspective I was having was really weighing me down. And if that's where you're at right now, where you're like, okay, first step to having a new morning routine is the right perspective. That's what you need, the right perspective. And then you can focus on laying out your clothes the night before, having a plan of what you're going to do in the morning. I can do a whole nother episode on this. If you're like really wanting to dive into morning routines with me, I freaking love them. Quite obsessed. Um, so let's start with the perspective though. This is really the first thing you need to work on if you want to have a morning routine is the perspective you have about it. If you wake up in the morning with all those negative thoughts and you do no work to change them, you just sit with them and sulk in them and try to go back to sleep. For 30 more minutes or whatever it is that you're gonna get. Honestly, I feel worse when I go back to sleep. I don't know about you. I feel so much worse. Like, it's kind of like taking a nap and it being the less than ideal amount of time. Like, you either slept too long or too short, and now you just kind of feel like you got a headache, you're feeling groggy, your eyes are burning. It was just like a much more unpleasant experience than the first time I woke up. So I've learned that going back to sleep is usually the wrong approach for me. But with these perspectives, if you have negative thoughts in the morning, let's first talk about the thoughts you're having about how many times your baby or your kids were awake that night. When you take the approach that I myself was taking, and that's how we created this little swap to help us, is because Tessa noticed that I was doing it. If you've noticed that your mind is going to this place of my kids were up four times last night, or the baby was up every two hours last night, or the toddler was awake for two straight hours last night, all of these I could relate very strongly to. If that's what your mind's doing, that is the most unhelpful way for you to feel better. Like, really consider why you're talking about it in the first place. Why are we spending time talking about something that already happened and we didn't enjoy it the first time? Why are we replaying it? Why are we magnifying it? Why are we spending more time focusing on something that was already hard the first time? Like, have you ever really, like, stopped? Consent to consider how frequently you're doing that? Because let me tell you, it can be such a game changer just to get out of that loop alone. So we're going to stay away from replaying the difficulty of the night and focus more on celebrating the accomplishment that that night offered to us. So this is the first shift in perspective you need to make for that morning routine. And that is, instead of saying, my baby was up three times last night, you're just going to shift it over to, I got my baby back to sleep three times last night. Do you hear the difference there? The first one, my baby was up three times last night. It sounds like it's happening to you. Like, oh, it's so difficult, and poor you, and we better sulk in this and complain and really spend some time here talking about it, even though we know it was already Hard the first time. I really don't care to spend more time in the difficulty of it. I would rather move forward and have a really freaking great day. That's just me personally. So instead, we're going to take the different approach. That second one, I got my baby back to sleep three times last night. That is an accomplishment. You see how instead of magnifying the difficulty, we're actually emphasizing the accomplishment that it is to get your baby back to sleep three times last night, which you did do and is impressive. Right? This also works when we say things like, oh, my baby was up every two hours last night. Instead of going there, change your language. If you change your language, you'll change your frame of mind. And that is so powerful. So instead of saying, my baby was up every two hours last night, we're just going to shift it over to, I got my baby back to sleep every two hours last night. If my friend said that to me, like, Tessa, my gosh, last night I got my baby back to sleep every two hours, I would feel like she's bragging. And like, that is so freaking impressive. Every two hours, you got your baby back to sleep. Wow, that's so impressive. Like, you're a remarkable mother that showed up every two hours and successfully got your baby back to sleep every two hours. It's impressive. And honestly, if it sounds like you're bragging, good, good. Let your tone sound that proud of you. Like, you're just freaking thriving over there. And we're like, man, I want to. I want some of what she's got. I want a drink from her cup. That sounds great. That's what we want more of. So shifting language is the first thing you need to focus on when it comes to these two perspectives. I'm going to share with you. This first one is the amount of times your kids were up. If your mind gets hung up on that, you got to shift out of it, and you need to be the one to make the effort to shift out of it. So we're shifting out of it by going to the amount of times you got your kids back to sleep instead of the amount of times they woke up, the amount of times you got them back to sleep. It's a complete game changer. The baby was up to every two hours last night. No, no, no, no, no. You got the baby back to sleep every two hours last night. Because you're a winner. Because you are freaking impressive. That's why. That's how you did it. Let them hear that from you. Okay? The second Thing we're going to focus on is honestly the thing I think about right when I open my eyes. It is the first thing I think about. And I've got a solid I am statement. I've got a solid vision for my life. I'm fired up and excited about a lot of things that are going to happen that have not happened yet. I just know they're going to. And that's what vision is. You know where you're headed. You know where you're headed more than you're focused on where you've been in the past. You're more so focused on where you are going, which is what we need to do. We need to spend more time thinking and focusing on where we're headed rather than replaying what happened when we were 10, 12, 14 years old, the way our in laws upset us at the last Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving six years ago. And we just haven't quite let it go yet. You know, this is why we work on ourselves, because you got to know where you're headed and get excited about it. Okay. So even though I still have an awesome I am statement and an awesome vision, which I focus on in my morning routine, when I do my journaling, like my alignment journaling, I. I focus on that in there. I have found this one perspective to be remarkably effective at getting me out of bed very quickly in the morning. Okay. It's from Jim Rohn. He's one of my favorite speakers. He's truly exceptional. He has a lot of talks, like on YouTube. You can also. He has like this compilation of his talks on audible. You can get that. Anyway, in his talk he had said, and this is the perspective, this is the first thing I tell myself in the morning. Like right when I gain consciousness and I have a conscious, my first conscious thought that I select for myself. Just like the clothes I put on that day. Like, imagine this. Imagine this. I wake up in the morning and this thought that I intentionally select is just as if I were to walk to my closet and choose the clothes I'm putting on. That's how purposeful it is for me. That's how much I favor it. Like, it's the outfit I would choose for my body. This is the perspective I choose for my mind. And it is. If you were headed where I'm headed, you'd be up early too. If you were going to meet who I'm going to meet, you would be up early too. If you're going to do what I'm going to do, you'd be up early. Too. And just. Just thinking of that, like, it gets you into your vision. It gets you into your why this matters to you. It gets you excited about who you're becoming, even if you're not entirely who you want to be just yet. My husband and I just barely had a conversation about this. Like, how close do we think we are to, like, the 10.0 version of ourselves? And let me tell you, I fall below the 10. I fall below the 10, and I still love who I am today. I just know the 10.0 version of me is like, oh, blowing me today out of the water. Like, that's how I see her. She's just impeccable, remarkable. So, so grounded, so gracious, so graceful, so God fearing. And it's just really inspiring when I think of her honestly. And I know that I've got some room to grow. That's okay, though. That's okay because we're. We're walking that way. And when I wake up in the morning and imagine, like, fortunately for me, I will say this is working in my favor. Okay, I'm gonna take full credit here. I'm gonna. I'm gonna put things into perspective for you. I have this working in my favor. My baby wakes up to nurse typically every single morning between 4 and 5am every morning. So I look at it as I have this dependable little one that is depending on me to nurse him. And when I nurse him, I sit up, I latch him on, and I sit there for as long as he's going to nurse. So in my mind, I have this working in my favor big time. Because a lot of other people. Well, what are they doing? They've got an alarm going off, like, either on their watch or on their nightstand. How easy is it to turn that off? You don't even have to sit up really, to turn those things off. You could just, like, turn it off, ignore it, sleep through it. Let me tell you something right now, I'm not sleeping through my baby wanting to eat. There's just no sleeping through that I'm not gonna be sleeping through sitting up, nursing my baby. Like, those are not things that I'm gonna do. And I see myself, I consider myself so fortunate, so lucky to have this insanely strong form of accountability right now in my bedroom right next to me. I think it's amazing. And it's just perspective, right? Because the people on the other side could say the same thing. Oh, well, you know, it's harder for you because you have a baby. Are you kidding me? It's easier for me, because I have a baby. I sit up to feed my baby. My baby continues to cry until I feed him. I have way more accountability than you over there with just a phone or a watch. Like, I am the lucky one. Thank you. And if you viewed yourself as the lucky one because you have these kids depending on you, imagine how your day would change. Imagine how the way you wake up in the morning would change. And if you just, you know, when you wake up, for me, I'm nursing a baby, maybe you are waking up to an alarm on your watch, on your phone, whatever. When you wake up to alarm, I just want you to challenge yourself just for one week, every morning. Select that first thought just the way. Same way that you choose your outfit for the day, select the first thought the same way, very intentionally. What do I want to clothe myself in? What do I want to swim in today? What do I want my mentality to be like today? And you say this perspective. If you were going where I'm going, you'd be up early, too. If you're going to meet who I'm going to meet, you would be up early, too. If you're going to do what I'm going to do, you would be up early, too. And I am pretty dang well certain that you will pop out of bed and be like, I'm going where he's going. I'm doing what he's doing. I'm going to meet who he's going to meet. It gets really exciting. Really exciting. And then consider how it is with your kids, though, the way you're going to spend your day with your kids when you just make these two shifts in your perspective. Number one, you start celebrating the accomplishment of every time you got your kids back to sleep that night, rather than complaining about the amount of times they got up and drowning in that perspective of how poor you, it's so hard for you. Instead of going to that place, you just celebrate the accomplishment of getting them back to sleep, no matter how many times it was. I mean, honestly, the more times it is, the more bragging rights you have. That's amazing. That's amazing. And then join that second perspective of vision. Look where I'm headed in my life. Look what I've got going for me. Look who I'm becoming. Look who I'm going to meet. That's right. I've got direction. And that's why I'm doing this. Because when I get up early, I've got a plan. And when I start my day with this plan, I just feel better about me, and that's what I'm really going after. I just want to feel like the best version of me. I want to get as close to her as I possibly can in this lifetime. And the interesting thing is that in the past six years, I've grown so much, so, so much. I mean, good Lord, your girl has grown. Okay. And I still think about who I want to become, and she's. She's way out there compared to who I am now. She's way out there. And if I think about who I was six years ago, the person I am today would be way out there to the girl that I was six years ago. So it doesn't matter where you're starting, you're still going to have a vision of who you want to become. And then before you know it, you're going to be her. The only difference is you're going to have an even bigger vision than the one you started with. You're going to see yourself as capable and able of doing more and more and more and getting excited about that. And what better way is there to live life than to just live it with excitement, enthusiasm, gratitude, that empowered mindset that has tremendous ownership over who you're choosing to be, what you're choosing to do, the places you choose to put yourself, the time you choose to wake up in the morning. So I hope this episode just feels fired you up to start a dang morning routine? Because it makes a difference. Even if you're just waking up 10 minutes earlier than before, 30 minutes earlier than before, it doesn't matter. I mean, I don't even have a set time that I, like, tell myself, oh, I have to start by this time. No, I just, again, have tremendous accountability at my bedside that says, likely sometime between like, 3:45 and 5, I'll be up. You can count on me. And I just look at that cute little sleeping baby and say, I can count on you. You can count on me. I can count on you. You got my back, I got your back. We're in it for life, kiddo. Let's go. Just see it as how fortunate you are. How fortunate you are so little. Recap. The two perspectives you need to put into place for these morning routines to happen. Is one, counting the amount of times you got your kids back to sleep rather than the amount of times they woke up, we're gonna celebrate the accomplishment that it is to be mother, that you are dependable, reliable, consistent, nurturing, lovely. Celebrate that you deserve to you already work so hard. Celebrate it, celebrate it so you can do more. The second perspective is just what Jim Roman says. If you're going to go where I was going to go, you'd be up early too. If you're going to meet where who I'm going to meet, you'd be up early too. If you're going to do what I'm going to do, you'd be up early too. I hope this served you more than you even knew you needed, and I will see you real, real soon. Oh, my sweet friend, thank you for joining me on this week's episode of the momset podcast. Please take a minute to leave a review and share the show. If you loved it, I'd love to stay connected as we continue to learn and grow in motherhood right alongside each other.