154. What God-Fearing Means

Hey, friend, it's Tessa. And welcome back to the momset podcast. It is time for you to start thriving. It's time for you to feel truly alive again, to see the world through fresh eyes and feel invigorated about the daily work that you get to do, the purpose you feel stirring inside of you, the little ones that you have following your lead. There's so many reasons for us to truly be fired up every single day and recognize that, that you really are a treasure to existence, to the short period of time that you are Earthside. It is such a treasure for you to be here when, when you are being who God made you to be, when you're following those inner promptings, when you're acting with complete conviction, when you are taking your thoughts captive and speaking as a strong and positive communicator and holding yourself to a daily standard of excellence. And all of that is completely possible for you. It's been happening for me in my life and I truly feel this alignment taking place where I'm showing up to the hard moments. I'm showing up when I feel tired, I'm doing the things that help me be who I want to be, even when it feels really hard. And as I share about that online through my social media, that's where I do a lot of connecting with you guys. And inside of the momset membership, I get this question and it revolves around this idea of how, how are you getting up so early when you have such young children? How are you making the food? How are you working? How are you able to journal? How are you reading scripture? How are you just doing all kinds of things? And there was one message in particular that I got recently that really just spoke right to my heart. And I think it's a shared pain point amongst many of us. And I know I've personally been there and so many times and for long periods of time. Absolutely. Before I had my faith instilled. Now this message just sparked something inside of me and that's why I wanted to record this podcast episode for you, all about being God fearing. Because I truly believe that the way I'm able to do what I do, go to bed when I feel like staying awake, I don't feel like going to sleep, even if I feel so tired. You know those nights where you're with your kids all day and you, you worked and you cleaned and you cooked and you kept up with family, you checked on this person, you served, you did all the things and then you just want that time to stay up a little later at night and turn your brain off and distract yourself or numb something you're feeling or just stop thinking. I know I've told my husband that. And in those times, though, how do we, how do we push past that to do what's right even when it's hard? How do we do the thing that helps us feel the way we want to, even when we don't feel like doing it? And that comes back to being God fearing. And in this particular message that sparked this fire inside of me to share this episode with you guys, she was talking about how defeated she feels when other people are telling her like, well, someone else should be doing that for you and you shouldn't have to get up so early. Why do you have to be responsible for so much? Who's not showing up in your life? And it easily turns into her feeling excited to pursue more, to hold herself to a higher standard. And then the people in her life misunderstanding that and trying to rescue her from this great purpose, rescue her or persecute her for, from pursuing this, this higher conviction, this higher calling that she has. And she said that it feels really defeating when her own mom is saying, well, it's the kids and you know, you need to yell at them or you need to spank or you need to threaten and take these things away and get that in order to get them to listen. And it all just feels like a bunch of misunderstanding. A lot of it feels like criticism. And that's been really relevant in my own life as I share on social media and there's things all over the place talking about my content and a lot of it does get misunderstood. And in this process though, that used to really bother me. It used to really bring me down when I would get a hurtful comment or a hurtful review or a whole email of mean things. Like those things used to really bother me and really hurt. And even the times on social media now that I'm getting asked all of the how questions like how do you expect people to do this? And it's so unrealistic and we can't. And to me, again, that's why we're doing this episode about being God fearing, because it's completely changed my life. Now. Before I started reading scripture for myself, which was just a few years ago, I would consider myself still very new in understanding the gospel and living it fully and making sure that I have my own testimony in Jesus. Like I would say, I'm still very new to all those things. And I grew up hearing about God to an extent Where, I mean, I remember I just had this white little teddy bear that sang me a song and I'd listen to it most every night and it would say, Jesus loves me. This I know, for the Bible, tell me so. And it was this, this song. And that's like my idea of Jesus. That's all I knew. I didn't know I had never read a children's Bible. I'd never had someone tell me about the Bible. As I've gotten older and even just a few years ago when people would call the Bible the gospel, and they're like, oh yeah, you gotta get in your, study the gospel, study the gospel. I'm like, what is the gospel? Like, what, what is that? And, and even when they say scripture, they're like, you gotta study scripture. And we're doing a scripture study. I'm like, what is a scripture study? And turns out they're all just talking about reading the Bible. Every time they're saying the Gospel, they're talking about reading the Bible Scripture, they're talking about reading the Bible. And these are all things I've had to learn. And it's been an extremely humbling and freeing process to do so because I feel like I've gotten to just be like a little kid and ask all the questions and, and find new meanings and understandings. And I'm grateful for that experience. And honestly, it's been received really, really well from the people that have helped me and have answered my questions. It's all been so encouraged. I'm grateful for that. A quick pause here to let you know about the alignment journaling Black Friday sale that's going on right now where you can save 20 off the alignment journaling course. This is the only sale that we've done this year, so I hope you'll take advantage of it. The alignment Journaling course is so effective and has helped over seventy five hundred mothers learn a practical five minute daily journaling practice that has helped them clear their mind, get out of these anxious negative self talk spirals and see themselves change their behaviors without shaming themselves to do so. So visit the link below in the show notes to get the Alignment Journaling course while it's on this very short sale now. Growing up though, I had this idea of like God being the one that pulls the strings and makes all the decisions. And then I just felt really angry with God for years and years and years after my dad died and someone had said, well, your dad, God really needed your dad, so that's why he brought him to heaven and they're telling this to me as a six year old. And then it was that moment, this like deep anger and, and resentment towards God was instilled in me where I'm like, how does he know he needs my dad more than me? I need my dad more than he does. He's God. How could he possibly need my dad? Like he could do anything. And, and I didn't have people in my life to help guide me or answer questions. So this belief, this story, this narrative just sank deeper and deeper and, and festered within me and created all these life ideas. Well, fast forward to me getting to reading about the Bible. This is about the time of 2020 and I had heard the reference of being God fearing because that's when Covid was happening. A lot of people were feeling very fearful and anxious and there were mandates being set in place, like so much stress. And I constantly was seeing this idea of being God fearing. And I really wanted to start reading the Bible in 2020. I just remember I opened up, I, I, I was feeling stressed similar to, similar to most people. And I was like, well, obviously the devil is real, so I've really gotta learn more about God. I've gotta know who God is and make sure that I'm on the right side of things here. And I remember I opened up a Bible that we just had in our house and it was the King James Version. And I read one page in Luke. I opened up the Bible and I turned it landed in Luke. And at that moment I was blown away because I had just had my second son in 2020, named him Luke. And I didn't know it was a name in the Bible. Like telling my husband, I was like, oh my gosh, look at this sign. Our son's name is Luke and the word Luke is in the Bible. And did you know the name Luke means light in the Bible. I still feel very excited about those things. Um, and it was such perfect timing for me to learn them as well. But anyway, I opened up the King James, King James version of the Bible and it just lost me in like four words. Four words. I was gone. It was like the thou though. What, like it was so difficult for me to read, let alone comprehend what I was reading. It was, I just feel like, I mean, I still don't have a King James Version that I read every day for my Bible. I'd like to get there and understand what I'm reading in the process. And I feel very comfortable in reading things that are more at my level where I can comprehend What I'm reading and apply it to my daily life and then challenge myself out from there. So I stepped away from the King James version of the Bible cause it just felt extremely discouraging. And I got from Amazon the Jesus storybook Bible and I read that thing cover to cover. I was like, I am gonna know the stories of this Bible. I am going to have a faith that helps me when the devil is rearing up in all this 2020 stuff. Like I'm, I'm going to help myself. And at the same time, my oldest was asking questions about Jesus and God. We live in a very faith based community so they talk about it a lot. And I was like, I don't know, I don't know why we celebrate Christmas. I don't even know if the, if Christmas is about his death or his birth. Like wait, which one's for Easter? It was. I truly did not know. And I wanted to know though. So I was hearing all these God fearing references. I had just started reading the Bible and every time I saw the phrase God fearing, God fearing, God fearing, it just really rubbed me the wrong way. I'm like, why would you want to believe in a God you're afraid of? Why would you want to follow someone you're afraid of? Like that is just not. That's like following Satan because you're afraid of him. You're like, I'm going to believe in Satan and I'm going to be a satanic ritual type person because I believe Satan has more power than God does to hurt me. Like what? Like that's where my mind went every time I saw God fearing. And I just sincerely questioned why people of faith would feel so convicted to follow this God while also calling him loving and gracious. And the New Testament is like a big love story for God's people. Like how do the two, how do the two coexist? How are you God fearing to a loving God? Why would you fear loving God? If he's so loving, what is there to fear? And that was just my genuine, my genuine interpretation of seeing this phrase around. And I can now see how at the time I was just operating based off of the information that I had. So remember, I believed that God was the one pulling the strings. He took my dad away from me. And then I got fed this story that, you know, God really needed your dad's help. So he called him to heaven. And now I'm like, well, and I'm supposed to fear you? How are you a loving God if you did all these things? And how, why, why is it a positive thing to be God fearing? And how does it make your life any better? How does it make your life any easier to be so God fearing the way people are referencing it? Well, it took me three more years after asking those questions and honestly, reading the Bible for myself. I did not start reading the Bible in 20 or 2021. I actually got my first Bible in the fall of 2022. So now I've been reading my Bible for three years. And so it took me two years to really even, even know there was another translation of the Bible. That was a whole other thing for me to learn. Like, wait, there's more than just the King James Version that I felt really in over my head and very overwhelmed and confused by. Sweet, sign me up. So I ended up getting the new living translation. That was the first translation of the Bible that I got in 2023, or, excuse me, the fall of 2022. And I was reading that and it just blew me away. I mean, blew me away. It felt so difficult to put the Bible down. The stories were so captivating to me from the Old Testament to the New Testament. And some people were like, oh, be careful reading the Old Testament. Like they're, they were warning me, be careful. As you read the Old Testament, you have to understand, like, yes, he did flood the earth, but. And yes, he did kill or actually the devil did, but you know, there's the story of Job in the Old Testament, be careful. And yeah, some people had some really bad choices in the Old Testament and they were people that God used. So just be careful. And I personally, when I read the Old Testament and still today when I read the Old Testament, I, I feel renewed when I read it, I feel so encouraged, I feel so inspired. And I understand that yes, these are very flawed, sinful people, a hundred percent. And just the idea that I have this one single book in my hand and anything that I read in here can be applied to my life today is extremely magical to me. It's just I, it, it creates a pause in me where I feel full of questions and peace all at the same time. Like, I just feel, I feel exceptional. So as I've been reading the Bible though now the, now the term fear God and God fearing is coming up in the Bible for me. So not just like what I'm seeing in other people's Instagram posts, whatever. And as this is coming up in the Bible for me and I'm reading it for myself and I'm understanding more of the context and honestly, the biggest thing is I'm just learning who God is. I'm taking the time to get to know who he is. And in the process, I have found out who I am. And I used to think, like, I could decide who I am before I have faith. And I even have some of my old journals out from 2020 and my very first I am statement. And I remember how hard it felt to get my brain to think that this is who I am and this is what my life could look like and this is what I can have the opportunity to do and like, to have a vision for myself. I remember how hard that felt because it just kept coming down to like, well, how am I going to do that? Like, how am I going to stop ignoring people? How am I going to stop yelling? How am I going to stop shutting down, lashing out? And it just, it came down to a me thing. And I felt extremely insignificant in the strength, the amount of strength that it would take to completely reset my life in the way that I wanted to reset my character, my integrity, my values. Um, it felt very impossible to do that on my own. And over the years, now that I'm reading the Bible, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, it was such an illusion for me to think that I'm gonna create who I wanna be all by myself. Like, I'm just, I'm gonna decide for myself who I'm gonna be and what I'm gonna be good at. And, well, I know it takes work on my side of things and it takes intention, it takes clarity, and it takes following the prompt, like the willingness, the courage to follow prompting. There is still remarkable guidance at work where I feel I have particular skills and talents to do things that were never intentional. I was never intentionally trying to be really good at mindset. It just so happened that I have a strength in seeing different perspectives, especially in difficult circumstances because of my life events and the way that I've been able to surrender a bit more, find my own inner peace. And the rest started clicking into place. If you remember, I had a workout community back in 2018. That was my first venture in entrepreneurship. And I really wanted to be a stay at home mom. And I thought that's what I was good at. I thought I was good at working out. Actually, to be specific, I thought I was good at talking while working out. I'm like, yeah, sure, a lot of people are good at working out, but can they talk the whole time? Because that's my real strength. Like, my real strength is being extremely entertaining. While working out, my energy just multiplies with each rep. Like, let's stick and go. So I built this whole workout community thinking this is what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Like, this is, this is how I'm going to be a stay at home mom. This is how I'm going to contribute to my family. This is how I'm gonna get all this fulfillment. And it's so fascinating to me because I ran that workout community for three years and in the first nine months, the women in my workout community were asking me for coaching. They were asking me for help with perspective, they were asking me for help with this identity work, this mindset work, this shame work and healing work that I, I've been talking about for years. They're asking me for help with that stuff. And they were able to see that I have a more natural gift, let's call it the gift. I have a more natural gift for something that I didn't set out to create intentionally. Now upon finding this gift in mindset, I've absolutely done all that I can to strengthen it, nurture it, polish it up, make it something that can be delivered to as many people as possible. And I, I still believe though, like, this is a God given gift that I feel very fortunate to have found early on in my perspective in my life, where now I can spend the rest of my life giving it away. I feel extremely fortunate for that and I believe that very strongly. And going back to this God fearing idea though, because it all ties in together now, here I am and I know what my calling is, I know what my purpose is. I know where I feel extremely convicted in my life. And, and it does require courage to share those things, it does require courage to follow, to follow them, especially in this format, this environment that my work is set up upon. And now though, when I read scripture, and I read some parts in scripture, like in Ecclesiastes 12, verse 13, fear God and keep his commandments. For this is the whole duty of man. When I read that, it melts away every feeling of doubt, every thought of anxiety, scarcity. What are other people thinking of me, right? This fear of their judgment, it melts all that away. Because I'm like, wait, the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep his commandments. That's the whole thing. And it just lights you up a little bit. And then there's, there's more. In Luke 1, verse 50, it says, and his mercy for in those who fear him from generation to generation, like so Beautiful. And then in 2 Corinthians, it goes on to say, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness and completion in the fear of God. And I read those completely differently. The confusion of, why would you want to fear a God that you believe in and you follow and you say loves you? Why would you want to fear Him? Well, I get it now. I get it now because of the circumstances that I've faced in life and the environment that I'm working in and even the influences. When you're parenting, there's so many daily influences, right? I get it now that the point of being God fearing is to know that he's the only one that can judge you. He's the only one that delivers judgment. You have a judgment day with one being and it is God. It's not your neighbor, it's not your mother in law, it's not your father, it's not your mother, it's not your sister, it's not your husband, it's not your children, it's not that friend in the group, it's not that high school bully, it's not the teacher that was so, so mean to you or, or anyone, or even someone that you greatly admire and look up to. Guess what, friend? God is the only one who can judge you. So when we make fearing God and keeping his commandments the whole duty of our life, it is remarkable to see what we feel called convicted and prompted to do and the courage that follows, that follows suit. Where you now feel like, wait, I really can step into this passion, to this purpose, this conviction that I'm feeling, if it's for my family within these four walls, or if it's a gift that I want to touch every single person in the world with whatever the reach looks like, it's just, I'm gonna do this because I know who God is and I know that he's the only one that can judge me. And he made me to be this person. I just know it. And I've never been so clear in my whole life on who I am and what I'm here to do and what perspectives are of heavenly light and heavenly worthiness and which perspectives fall short. And I personally feel convicted to hold myself to a standard of coming up with these truthful perspectives that can stand in fire, right? They can be refined down like good silver and everything pours melted away from them until we're just seeing the reflection of Christ inside of them. That's how I feel about perspectives. And this work and that's why I'm so. I'm so willing to be God fearing. It's actually in my I am statements, one of my power words to be God fearing, because I know he's the only one that can judge me. Any idea of, oh my gosh, what's my neighbor gonna think if I do X, Y, Z? What are these people gonna think if I do go after that product, that business? If they see me in this content? What are they thinking? If I share this idea with the group, how's it going to be received? Could you imagine how much fear of man, fear of the world would melt away if you put all of that energy that you were putting there into fearing God, where you're able to see the bigger picture. Where it's not I'm going to be judged for every little thing. It's I'm going to be judged as a whole. So, yes, I know I'm going to make mistakes. I know I'm going to sin. And in my acts of repentance and in my acts of generosity and giving and refinement and purity and just seeking the Lord in all that I do, especially as I become older and more mature and gain more information, my judgment day is going to look really beautiful. Okay? It's going to look really great. I'm going to show up there, say, let me have it. How did I do? Please let me know. And I am fully convinced that Jesus is going to stand there and say, well done. Well, well done. I see, you know, this point in time that was so challenging, that was so testing, that was placed there for the very reason that you came to the conclusion a year later, 10 years later, you were right. That's why you experienced that. And I'm just looking forward to what those conversations are going to sound like, what they're going to be like for me. And it gives me more purpose in my daily life of why I'm working so hard to. To speak positively? Why am I working so hard to wake up between four and five every morning and read my scripture and do alignment journaling and exercise and get myself ready for the day? Why am I so, so set on having this pure marriage where I lay down my way and I challenge myself to be better and to let my husband lead and to seek understanding of his perspective and to hold myself accountable to when I am being judgmental or critical? Like, I feel so convicted to do all that, to show up and do this work, to challenge myself to do it, especially when I don't feel like doing it. To challenge myself to put the content out there. Even when I know it's going to be extremely criticized. Like, even when I know it's going to be taken out of content, it's going to be misunderstood. I know all of that. And I'm so God fearing that I'm all right with all that happening. I feel at peace with the direction of life. I feel at peace with the responsibility I've been given to just devote myself to Christ to. To refine my life down to. To be someone that other people see him in me. I really, I want to be someone like that. And I think that's the purpose of my whole life. And this is what it looks like for me to do that. So if now you're wondering, okay, that sounds so incredible. Incredible direction. Like I could get out of the fears of what other people think of me and I could, I could stop fearing the worldly judgment when I set my eyes on the One who made me. On understanding who he is and who he says I am and who he made me to be uniquely and individually. And for what purpose? Right when we're wanting to do that. My greatest recommendation is two things. One, read the Bible for yourself. It's easy to pick up and read the little scripture lines other people are sharing and to see the word God fearing floating around like a good thing and then wonder, how the heck is that a good thing? I've been there. I get that. And you have to have truly your own testimony in Jesus, your own testimony for this faith and what it means to you and how it saved you and what it does for you every single day. You have to have your own conviction there. And the second thing is alignment journaling. I. Like I said, I got out all my journals. I have now filled five, six. I've filled six journals over the last five years. Well, here I am. This is my six ones right here. It just came in the mail. So I have five fully complete journals and one little notebook that I've filled in the past five years. And I do it in companionship to scripture because my mind is so. Gosh, sometimes it feels so weak. It's so easily confused and manipulated by what other people say. Where now, oh, they made that comment and now I'm feeling less about me. They criticize this thing, they're judging this thing, they're asking that question. They're unsure if my parenting really is all that great in the long term. Like all the things, right? And my mind in this very weak way attaches to those things and through Alignment journaling. It's the daily commitment to wash it clean again, right? You read your scripture and then you go into your alignment journaling, even just for five minutes to practice being the woman that you want to be, to see yourself with clear eyes, with a fresh blank mind that understands the intentions of the day, the practice of the day, what we're here to do. All of that must be repeated. It must be cemented into your belief of yourself. Otherwise what are you going to be left with? You're going to be left with what other people say about you. If you're not reading the Bible and you're not journaling for yourself, you are then left with what you hear other people saying about you. Influences, influences. The influences within your home and outside your home, on your phone and in your work environment and even from your past. You're replaying all those things that have been said about you since you were a kid. And how far is that going to get you? I mean, look at where you are today. It's an accumulation of all those things. So we have to, we have to go all in. We get to go all in and decide to stop straddling the line of what the world thinks of me and what God thinks of me and go all in on what God thinks of you. And that is what it means to be God fearing. That's what it means. Because you move different, you talk different, you feel different, you hold yourself to different standards than the world. And when other people, just like Peter in Matthew, when other people come and try to rebuke you for it, what did Jesus say? Get behind me, Satan, you are a hindrance. When Peter said, you're not going to die, that's not going to happen to you, Lord, that's going to stay far away from you. Jesus said, get behind me, Satan, for you are a hindrance. Because Jesus know who made him, he knows who he is, he knows what his purpose is and he was willing to follow it even when the world was judging. And there were doubters and there were people criticizing the religious leaders were they were the ones trying to kill him. Successfully doing so, like is just fascinating to me that when we look at this example, this perfect example that we have available at our fingertips to create this whole idea in our head and then just a couple of daily practices to see you cement it, it's fascinating what can happen in your life. So a five minute daily practice of alignment journaling. So you can see yourself as Christ sees you. You can see yourself as who you were made to be. What you were made to do? How are you really meant to talk? Is it with all this profanity and negativity and doubt and criticism and drama and gossip? Or were you made to speak life? Were you made to speak with positivity, with light, with encouragement, with optimism, with faith? Faith like a mustard seed. Not the size of a mustard seed. The Bible says faith like a mustard seed. Do you know what a mustard seed is? It is one of the most highly invasive and overbearing plants there is. It's this tiny teeny bitty seed that grows in this huge monstrous plant and then it just spreads like wildfire everywhere. That's the size of faith we need. So in your daily alignment journaling practice, you can practice these things, you can mentally rehearse them, so you stop playing out all the worst case scenarios and you start seeing yourself win in your head before you go out and win in the moment. That's the power of alignment journaling. Now, I wanna let you know that our Black Friday sale has started today. It's gonna be ending soon though, so make sure you follow the link in the show notes to get the alignment journaling course. This is a daily five minute practice. I'm going to walk you through it. And I just created a brand new prompt vault, the daily prompt vault. And this is guided journaling videos unlike anything you've ever seen before. Where you can sit down and follow a full 20 minute journaling session with me or a condensed 2 minute version, or you can go the more traditional route with the journaling prompts where I put a little bit of a coaching perspective in there, a journaling example, and then questioning you with a prompt to help get your writing started too. So that's the daily prompt vault that is now brand new and available as part of our Black Friday sale. So I hope you'll have a little bit more of an open mind. Just like I needed to be able to really understand what it means to be God fearing and why it's such a good thing. Then take on those two daily practices to be in your scripture, reading your Bible each day, even just for a line, just one line. It's amazing what that one line can do to help anchor your mind and truth before you take on the day. And then five minutes to mentally rehearse being the person that you want to be. You can absolutely do it. I'm looking forward to seeing you be more God fearing alongside me and I'll talk to you guys real soon.