186. Our Story of a 100 Mile Race

Hey friends, and welcome back to the Momset Podcast. We had a very eventful last week, um, here in my family with my husband having the opportunity to run his first 100-mile race. And I actually have him joining me here today. We are going to share the whole story of what it was like that weekend for us while he was running, what the outcome looked like, um, who we believe we've become in the process, and some of our favorite takeaways. But ultimately, Just sit back, relax, really take this in. It's going to be a very enjoyable story with so many highs and some really relatable lows that I'm extremely grateful for. Um, this race weekend went like nothing like we were anticipating. We definitely—

Anticipating for a year.

Everyone, welcome my husband.

Hello.

Oh yeah, for the last year we've been anticipating a 100-mile race to be completed after a year of training.

And fast and minimally, minimally painful. And none of the above happened.

So in short, my husband did not finish the 100 miles of the race. He finished 71, which is Absolutely incredible, incredible. Left us all just in awe of his tenacity and endurance and perseverance, and honestly, just his humility to stop at 71 miles too was a big part of what we were left appreciating about that weekend. So let's take it back though. Now that you know this story is so good. Ultimately because you didn't finish the 100 miles. Like, there are many—

You did that on purpose, just, just

for inspiration purposes,

just to get me mad to do it next year.

Okay, let's start it. Let's rewind it a little bit. So I have shared here on the podcast before that my husband signing up for a 100-mile race— you signing up for a 100-mile race— was absolutely mind-blowing to me because You didn't even want to go.

Me too.

You didn't even want to go on a 2.5-mile family walk. And I want everyone listening to this episode to take that in. We were not a big running family. We've always been an active family. We've always valued health and what does it look like to really take care of your body? We've always valued that. But running has not been something that we have very much valued at all. In the early days of us dating, my husband Marcus was a strength and conditioning coach. He was very much into weightlifting and I was very much into running. I ran 6 miles, 3 nights a week. That's all the workout, working out that I did. Do you remember what you told me though when we were dating and you were like, well, I was like, I want to get toned but not like beefy jacked. I don't want to look like a man, but I like, I just want to like lean out. And you're like, okay, well, There's no such thing as leaning without muscle.

He said, do as I say, not as I do.

So I was like, well, he— you had asked me, what do you do for working out now? And I said, I run 6 miles, 3 days, 3 nights a week around work. Do you remember what you told me about running? What'd you tell me?

I said that you shouldn't.

Are those your words that you remember, or do you remember what you actually said?

I said something to the, to the point that running was not worth your time if you're trying to get jacked. Yeah,

yeah. So that said, we have gone a very long period of time without running and actually without cardio. Like, we were definitely not cardio people, so the fact that we've been running so much over the last year has been Just a really fun changeup. But Marcus didn't want to go on a 2.5-mile family walk. And I've always been very adamant about walking ever since we had our first son, like put him in the stroller every day, go for this 2-mile walk. No matter where we lived or where we were, I've always enjoyed going on a walk every day. And when you did have the opportunity to join us, I would ask you, hey, do you want to go on a walk?

Her walks are long. I'd have my 10,000 steps in as a strength coach by like 8 AM because I'd start at 5:30. So by the end of the day, I was like, I don't know about walking. Yeah,

yeah. Or if you came home for lunch, you really just wanted to sit down and relax, and that's usually when I would take Liam on a walk. So there were definitely seasons in our life where it made sense that he didn't want to go on a walk because He's on his feet all day as a strength coach, and then he would be attending one of the team's games that evening where he would also be on his feet. Um, he wakes up early, he was home late. Like, I, I totally understood during those times. I still wanted you to come, but I definitely was like, well, I'm gonna go anyway, so see ya. I've always— I've, I've—

Became I.

Throughout our whole marriage, I've been a, I'm gonna do it anyway kind of person. So, um, I'm appreciative of your kindness towards me and that it's reciprocated towards you. And now though, you've been home working from home for the last 4 years. So the strength coach card, I hit my step, my 10,000 steps by 8 AM line, it was not accurate the last 4 years. It's true.

We're not debating that anymore.

Okay. So let's talk about the last 4 years though. So before last October, when you set the goal to do this 100-mile race, if I were to ask you to go on a family walk since you've been working from home, what would you say?

I'd say, what about something else? What are our other options?

I remember you saying that it's windy outside.

I was a fair-weather walker. But go on.

Okay, um, it would be too hot outside. You didn't want to get sweaty,

and nobody wants to take a shower at like 3 in the afternoon. But go on. Okay,

uh, you would still say that your

feet hurt even though hardwood floors in our house, it's a whole different story. But go on.

Okay, okay. So you guys can begin to understand that through the—

He's had a lot of good reasons.

Different— through the many different seasons and circumstances that we have been through in our marriage, I have always enjoyed a nice long walk. And I will say, all 4 of my kids are very, uh, they have great endurance. Okay, so I think it's worked out in our favor. They can run 5Ks, they can ride their bike for 5 miles. Jake will stay in the stroller for a 5-mile run without a fuss. So I'm personally very grateful that I persevered. Okay, and that I was not a fair-weather walker or afraid to get sweaty at 3 PM and shower at 7. Yeah. Stay sweaty for a little bit. Um, but the note of encouragement in that is it's all right if there are things that you really enjoy doing, going for walks, and maybe your husband doesn't right now. And as I've shared this story, I just want you to remember the how is none of your business. The how your husband goes from not wanting to do a 2.5-mile family walk to signing up for a 100-mile race himself, how he gets there is none of your business. Loving your husband, believing in your husband, seeing him more clearly than he can sometimes see himself is your business. That's your job. I believe that is my job. And I do think it's such a privilege to see someone go through a journey like that and see someone transform right before your very eyes where he's like, I'm going to get on StairMaster. I'm going to ride the Peloton. I'm going to Do a 6-hour run. I'm like, what? What? So I do think it's important to note in this story too that I have been less than perfect in the supportive role as a wife. And while now I do greatly value it, there were definitely years, years of our marriage that like Marcus, he didn't want to go for a family walk. I didn't want to support him in going golfing. Like, there were many things that you're like, hey, can I go golfing? Which was so kind of you to even ask like that. And I would say no.

I just pick hobbies that take many hours.

I, I just, ah, I can just see like now being in the position that we're in, I can see the consequences that took place every time I told you No, I don't want you to do that or you're going to be gone for so long. And just my form of controlling and being unsupportive and ultimately just saying no. And then when the 100-mile race idea came up because your buddy had talked to you about it, so it definitely was not from me saying, you need to get active and you'd feel a lot better if you took care of yourself. And I've definitely had my line or two. On that, on that note, um, but it was your buddy that brought it up. And I remember we were standing together in our bathroom and we were talking about this 100-mile race idea, and you were really contemplating it. And I was like, do it, you can totally do it, you should do it, it'd be a great challenge, something just for you to focus on. Like, you never do anything for yourself. Like, I want you to have something for yourself. I remember saying all these things. And then do you remember what you told me?

I said it's going to take a lot of training.

And not just the training part, the time commitment.

It's a lot of time.

Yeah, you're— yeah, I remember you said you're not going to want me going, being gone for 6 to 8 hours running on Saturdays. And

that happened a lot.

Yes, that has, that has been part of the training. There's long runs every Saturday on your training plan. And I know that, um, but I remember just like hearing you say that and knowing that I've given you a reason to believe that. Like, I've literally taught you to think that I don't want you to be gone for that period of time or away from us doing this type of training and doing something just for you. Like, you didn't just come up with those beliefs without my influence. And At that point, I was just really grateful that I have done so much work on myself over the years where I just saw the opportunity to set the record straight about the wife that I want to be and reassure you like, okay, I can totally see why you think that. And I would love to be— I remember I told you I would love to be a supportive and encouraging wife. And in order for me to do that, I want you to choose something that I can support and encourage you in. And if this is that thing, then I want you to choose it so that I can support you and encourage you. And I would love the opportunity to show you the kind of wife that I want to be. And that was still just like one of my favorite conversations that we've ever had. Like, I love the way I showed up in that moment. I still think about it all the time. So that was a year ago. And I remember you told everybody That you were running this 100-mile race. So

everybody, as in like my family?

Your family, social media, people at the gym. Everyone in our town knows that he was running a 100-mile race. Everybody knows.

Like the 15 people.

We do live in a small town, but really everyone knows. Everyone's asking you, asking me about it, like texting him throughout the year about his training and just a lot of people were really invested. So before we even get into this weekend, I'm curious for you, what was it like finishing at 71 miles knowing that— or like when you started contemplating if you were gonna finish the race, what was it like for you to think about all the people that you had told that you're running 100-mile race? Because I told everyone on my social media and I was like, oh man, like, are you— and I, I wondered, are you gonna be okay? With me going on my Instagram story and on my Instagram feed and saying like, you finished 71 miles out of the 100, because in my role as a wife, I just wanted to do what was right by you and respect the experience you wanted and how you wanted to talk about it, which I felt unsure about in the moment because it was all just happening. But that was definitely a thought for me. So I'm wondering, did that ever like cross your mind about other people or? Let's start there and then we'll go through the whole race.

I'd say before the race, not finishing was like not even really a thought.

I didn't even think of that either. I did not consider for one second that you wouldn't finish.

I was like, I've told way too many people to not finish.

Yes.

And then like, I knew at mile 19, I was like, my knee is gonna blow up. And it did probably at like mile 33.

What do you mean by blow up? Help people understand what— so

I have

some people ask me if you need a surgery, if it's like a big injury, or what happened.

So my right knee in my IT band, like the IT band was basically tugging on my knee. And anytime you go, you walk downhill, um, it's excruciating. And that feeling started happening, happening right around mile 19. And by the time I saw them at mile 33, it was, it was I was going through the pain cave. It's what they call it. And all the videos that I prepared myself with said the pain cave happens like around 60 to 80. And I was like, hey, isn't that good? Um, so my knee was going through that, and then at the same time I started feeling my— like the muscles that lift your foot up, like the front of your— like by your toes, that muscle started, started to become extremely fatigued really fast. So every time I was going uphill, my left foot would hurt really bad, and then every time I was going downhill, my right knee would hurt really bad.

Mm-hmm.

To where I was, I was only able to run at a pretty slow pace on flat, on flat ground, and on a little bit like on a low incline type of Terrain, and then downhills I was just walking with like like a peg leg looking. It was it wasn't a bad walk, and it was a slow walk. So by the time I got to mile thirty-three when I met these guys, that's when I was kind of like okay something's going on with my knee. It's probably going to get a lot worse. Predicted the future by mile fifty-five. I was I was My knees— my knee and my foot were screaming at that point. And that's when Tessa started running with me, and I told her, I was like, I'm not going to be able to run very much or at all for these next 14 miles that we're going to do together.

Let's pause on that because I really liked that part where I joined you and you even told me like, I'm sorry, I'm in a really bad headspace. Um, but let's go back to the beginning of the race weekend. Like, I think this story just has so many Funny highs and relatable lows. And that's what I just— I loved that for our marriage, that we got to experience all of that together. And we did it, we did it with so much kindness and love and warmth with each other. So I honestly want to start when we were driving up to Big Bear. So this race is called the Kodiak 100. It's in Big Bear, California. And we packed up our kids and it was about a 6-hour drive from where we live over to Big Bear. So. We get the kids packed up, we make it about 4 hours into the drive, and we stop to get gas, get a little coffee together, just enjoying our time. And then we were— and I was driving at this point. Marcus drove us there, and then I was like, I'll drive us the last couple hours. So I am telling my phone like, directions to Big Bear Lake. Marcus is simultaneously— something happened with the Momset payroll and he, he's responsible for all of that. Like, uh, yes, we work together. I say Marcus does everything legal and responsible and I do everything fun and creative. Um, and that's very much this dynamic. So we do work together. Marcus works for Momset, I work for Momset, and we work from home. And in this case, we were working from the car, or you were. So Marcus is like trying to take care of something for payroll and he has his that voice microphone thing on where he can like talk to text, right?

Mm-hmm.

And I had simultaneously told my phone, uh, directions to Big Bear Lake. And my Siri just goes, getting directions to Big Bear Lake. And it just sounded so funny to me the way that Siri was emphasizing the B's. In Big Bear. And I had said it like— I had said it like 3 times. I was like, why does it say Big Bear? Getting directions to Big Bear.

The whole time my phone's recording. Like, I'm trying to just— I keep deleting what she's saying, what Siri's saying, then what Tessa's saying, back to Siri.

And then the boys are like, Mom, what are they building right there? I was like, oh, I think it's like an electric charging station. Station for cars, and Marcus's phone.

Oh my! Just everybody stop talking.

Marcus's phone was picking up every time I was talking to the kids, and every time I said Big Bear Lake, that was like one of the funniest parts on our trip up was when he said, "If you say that one more time," because he was deleting it every single time, and it was just. Oh my, it was so, so funny. Um, and then we drive up to Big Bear. We get there, you're sticking your head out the window enjoying yourself. We get to the house, we bring everything in, we go for a walk by the lake with the kids. Uh, and we got there a few days before the race. We wanted to get acclimated and rest and feel kind of better acquainted, have the opportunity to look at the mountains a little bit. And check out the trail for what we could. So we get there and now it's race day morning. And actually the night before the race, I remember feeling really nervous and pretty anxious and you seemed like chill as a cucumber. And I think at that point it was just hitting me like 100 miles is

freaking far.

Far. And I think in the whole last year I was just looking, I was just It was almost like I was considering it like a 10-mile run in my head. I'm like, oh, it's like, yeah, that's cool. Like, yeah, go run 100 miles. I think that's great. And then it was— then we started watching some documentaries together and some of these things, and I was like, oh, this is, this is a bit bigger than I was thinking. And then I remember the night before the race, I felt so nervous. and anxious to do your aid stations the right way. Like so much to the point that I literally went through like the, the alignment journaling practice to mentally rehearse being who I wanted to be on race day and perceiving you the way that I wanted to perceive you for the whole race and seeing myself as capable and prepared and adaptive and flexible and equipped and ready. And I remember I was like, Training my brain in that moment to buckle up, buttercup, we're in it to win it now. Like, you trained for a whole year. What do you mean you're not ready to run the aid stations, Tessa? Like, you just gotta show up with a bag. Yeah. And I just was like, I wanted to like work through this on my own because I know you had to have been thinking about the race. I didn't want you worried if I was going to bogey your aid stations, which I— still did a little bit, and I think for first time I did really great. And I will say the whole shuttle situation was a thing of itself, and I'm gonna tell you that about on this podcast. Um, so anyway, that's how I was feeling the night before. How are you feeling the night before race day?

I was pretty calm the night before and the morning of.

The morning of, you were super calm. I took some videos of you and you're literally just Chill. And I was like, okay, cool, great.

I was trying not to think because my knee— I felt my knee before the race. And

like a week before the race, you started feeling like a tightness in your knee. And I just kept saying like, remember your coach said you can get some pre-race kind of like jitters or aches and it can show up in weird ways, but he reassured you you're not gonna feel it at the start line. And I just tried to like encourage you that way, just Basically repeating the things your coach said and encouraging you.

Yeah, so I was just trying to more focus on the race itself and not my knee, and then just kind of be present with the boys and Tessa. My family was there, so I was just trying to keep my mind off of my knee when in the back of my head it was, it was alive and well that I was, that I was thinking about it. But we got to the We got to the start line and it kind of— it was just probably the, um, the adrenaline and stuff at the start line to where I was like, oh, maybe my knee will kind of go like the— it'll get warmed up and maybe it'll go away. And it felt good for the first like 20 miles, and then at about mile like 17 or 18 going into that 19th mile aid station is kind of when I was like, oh. That

some—

something's gonna happen.

Yeah, I remember even just getting to the start line, there were so many, um, confusing parts. Like in the racer's guide, they were saying racers must use the shuttle system to get up to the start line or else you run the risk of getting disqualified because they're trying to manage the, the impact of cars and like manage this one-lane roads up the mountain. So We're like, okay, planning around the shuttle thing. And then it got so confusing. We got you to the right shuttle on time, but then, uh, we got so confused how we're supposed to get there to watch you start. And we talked to some of the people that were in charge and they're like, oh no, you needed to be on the shuttle with your husband. And the last shuttle was going to leave in 15 minutes and we still needed to like drive back over there. So I remember that part of feeling really stressful and I honestly felt so impatient with the people that were giving Directions, and I was trying really hard to like stay because you know the person that you're talking to is rarely the one that like is actually in charge. So I always just try to like keep my mind focused on they're just doing their job. They're giving us the information that they know. Like this is a big race to coordinate 2,500 people, and then the back of my head's like yeah, which is exactly why they should have it figured out because there's 2,500 people. So then I call you and you're like no, you guys just need to drive up there because they. They took the spectators off this bus. So there was just like—

Yeah, the bus said racers only.

There was just some stress around it in that capacity. And I really wanted to be there to watch you start the race. Fortunately, we ended up making it up there in time, which when we got there, I would say 80% of racers drove themselves and their families up to the start line. So they didn't even use the shuttles and they weren't worried about it. And I was like, okay, my little rule-following heart, here we go. Um, oh, and then in the parking lot, we picked up sandwiches on the way since we had a little bit of time. And I had this container of cantaloupe, and our 4-year-old— I didn't even tell you this— our 4-year-old, we're standing there talking to an older couple asking about the shuttles to the aid stations, because that was the other thing I felt very nervous about and figuring out. And our 4-year-old felt so upset, just, he just felt upset and emotional and tired. And I was talking to this old this older couple getting instructions for them, and he takes the bowl of cantaloupe and chucks it on the parking lot ground just right there in front of us. And I was like, yeah, so, uh, we're gonna make it over to the start line now. I was like, thank you so much for your help.

Just forget about that one.

I was like, I— okay, cool, there's cantaloupe on the parking lot ground. Um, but anyway, we get to the start line. And we're like, wait, we're ready for you to start. I'm with your family. The boys are like so, so excited. And then we get— we walk further up so we could have a spot where Marcus was going to run by us. And my 8-year-old and I are just feeling so emotional. And our 8-year-old's our oldest. We're just feeling so emotional together. And this is how we were at his last race too. And I think just the emotion behind it too is we know how much work you've put into this for the last year. It's been an ongoing topic of conversation for our family basically daily, uh, because training, recovery, nutrition, like everything is a daily thought around this 100-mile race. So our boys are very much aware and they know how much it means to him. And I took this cute video of our oldest and I was like, uh, Liam, tell him, tell Dad good luck. And he looks at the camera and his eyes are just like, Welling up with tears where he was just feeling so emotional. And you run by and you like saw us last minute and you reach for his hand and like shake his hand and then keep running. And our 8-year-old just turns to me and sobs, like just cries. And I'm holding him and he's like, I wish I had more time with Dad before he left. And I didn't know he's gonna be leaving so soon. Our sweetheart tender guy is truly like He's a lover of family. He's a lover of people. I've never met anyone that loves people and family as much as him, and it's taught me so much. And anyway, that was like a big, big emotional moment for us. And then while we were driving back to the house and you were— I mean, at this point Marcus is running the first 33 miles without seeing us. So we had some time. So we're driving back to the house and then I was crying. On my way driving to the house because I literally, for whatever reason, my brain was thinking about you dying during the— I know, I know, I know that face. I know I felt the same way. I was like, what is my brain doing right now? And my brain was literally thinking like, what if something happened? It was just anxious thoughts. And also, but they weren't just anxious. They were just so like tender and sentimental. And I was just holding on to like how much I value you. And how much I love doing life with you. And I feel emotional even just saying that because that's all I was thinking about. Like, it wasn't necessarily the fear of losing you. It was how much I love living with you and how much I love our life. And I think that's why Liam gets emotional too, is like he looks at it from that perspective, not the fear, but just the sheer delight of knowing you and having you and being here for you in this big thing. Um, so yeah, the first 33 miles, like you said, around mile 19, you're like, this is—

Yellow flag, yellow lights on right now.

Yeah, this knee issue. Um, but mind you, like, the first— there were aid stations in the first 33 miles, but your crew could not meet you at them. Your crew could only meet you, um, at specific designated spots, and 33 miles in was the first one. So we get back to the house and Marcus's parents and his older brother were staying with us and his parents were there to help us with the kids when I would go to aid stations and do my part to run with Marcus, because I had a 14-mile run planned with Marcus. And then his older brother was staying with us to do, um, a 15 or 16-mile part after me. And then we, he had a friend that was staying nearby. Well, we get back to the house and I knew I wanted to have hot ramen for you. So I immediately start cooking ramen, cooking dinner for everybody. And, um, I was like, okay, I've got time. I've got time. I got time. I remember just like distinctly thinking, I've got time. I've got time. I've got time. So I make dinner, I make the ramen, I get things prepped. I'm looking over at your aid bag and like going through the things in my head, just like all the things that you said you'd need. I'm filling up the other water pack. I get the kids fed. Um, and I like put your ramen in the thermos. To take out to you, and then all of a sudden it's seven o'clock, and I was like, "Wait, what?" Like we were projecting to meet you at your first aid station. The there's a tracker on Marcus, so we can know where he is, and it predicts when he's going to be at at each aid station. So the initial prediction was nine thirty-five, and I still didn't know about the shuttle situation. It just said we've got shuttles going every fifteen minutes. Um, and his coach had said to plan on being there an hour before Marcus thinks he's going to be there. So at 7 o'clock, I'm like, okay, let's get these kids fed, get this bag by the door, like final things. And then, you know, I'm going to help my mother-in-law with bedtime. Well, you, you guys know how bedtime goes. So I finally get my 2-year-old with me at 7:40. To start his bedtime. And I was like telling my mother-in-law like, oh yeah, you could do the other 3 boys, just read to them and I'll get my 2-year-old to sleep. And that way like I can just sneak out. And I have this tendency to always want to just like help. I just have this tendency to—

Make it easier for other people.

Yes, that's exactly it. And it can be such a destructive thing When other people are telling me like, I've got it, I'm here to do this specific thing for you. And then anytime I do that where I'm like, well, I just want to make it easier for them, I end up sacrificing something really important on my list of commitments. That, that's like something for me to work on for just like growing as a person is when someone says that they're going to help me, just trust them and let them have like. The whole pie instead of like, let me just, let me just make the crust for you. Like, you can do the filling, sure, but let me make the crust. Like, no, if they said they're going to make the pie, let them make the whole stinking pie. Lesson learned though. I tried to get Jake to sleep in 20 minutes. He wasn't having it. And then I barely had him. I almost had him asleep, but I knew he could feel that I felt like this rush. And I, it was really hard for me to get to like calm the feeling of rush and just relax so that he could relax. And then our oldest son comes in the room and he's like, Mom, there was a spider in our room and I feel so scared. Can I come sleep in here? And I was like, what are you— what spider? He's like, Uncle Brandon killed it, but I still don't want to sleep in there. And then just one at a time, my other boys are coming into the room. At this point, my 2-year-old's popping up ready to go. And my mother-in-law comes in. She's like, come I'm so sorry. And I was like, ah, you know, and that's when I was like, you said you'd make the pie, I'm gonna let you make the whole pie. Here's all 4 of them. And you know, you can—

Here's the ingredients.

Yeah, see ya. Yeah, I was like, it's 8 o'clock and I gotta go. Like,

I was calling her kind of throughout my 33 miles just saying, hey, I'm— this is where I'm at. Um, because sometimes the tracker is a little off from where I'm actually at because it's not updated. But I, I called her at mile probably like 30, and at this point I'm going— I'm, I'm hurting pretty good. I was going at like a 15-minute mile pace and it was uphill, so I was like, okay, 45 minutes. I'll probably— I'm gonna be there like 45 minutes. And she's like, okay, we're gonna leave the house. And I was like—

That's his stunned face he just gave you.

Yeah.

He's like, leave the house. But yeah, we— I had a bogey. I had a couple bogeys the first aid station, to be completely honest. So, but that's why, because I was trying to make it easier for my mother-in-law who raised 4 boys herself. Like, she's more than capable of doing bedtime for my 4 boys. They can listen to Grandma, like all the things. And, you know, I just misstepped there. Definitely. So then we, my brother-in-law and I finally make it out of the house and it's like 8:20 and we update the tracker and now it's saying that Marcus is going to be there at 9:10, which is 25 minutes earlier than we had anticipated. Now, fortunately we're in a small town. So I was like, okay, the shuttle stop is only 5 minutes from our house. So we get there, we carry the bags and then we notice there's a little bit of a line. There was— we get there.

I'm on the phone with her this whole time.

Yeah, we're like calling him. And my brother-in-law and I get there, we carry our bags over, and there's probably like 15, 16 people in front of us. So we get in this line and I'm feeling kind of hopeful, but I don't see any shuttles. So I was like, all right, well, obviously they just picked a bunch of people up and they're gonna be right back. So I'm asking the people in front of us like, hey, how long you been in line? And this girl was like, 45 minutes. And I was like, what, 45 minutes? I was like, I don't have 45 minutes. And mind you, you are not allowed to drive your car up to the aid stations or else your runner will get disqualified. So if your crew makes mistakes following the racer guide, your runner gets disqualified. And I was not about To get my runner disqualified. Okay, I was not gonna— I'm not, I'm not risking it. I'm not driving up there. Okay, so then I'm like, all right. And then I'm asking the people in line, do any of you feel, um, a little, a little concerned of missing your runner? And then every single one of them nodded yes. And I was like, okay, yeah, so nobody's gonna let me go first, that's for sure. And I'm like, you know, all right. And then Oh gosh, every few minutes another 10 people would show up behind us. So we're like 16th in line, and by time the next shuttle comes, they, uh, drop people. Yeah, the next shuttle came, dropped people off, and took a load. And then there was a couple more people in front of my brother-in-law and I were like, okay, we're absolutely gonna make the next one. So we told Marcus, we're absolutely getting on the next one. Well, then the next shuttle comes, drives right by us. It was It, it just was a shuttle in the wrong parking lot apparently. Didn't pick anybody up, drove right by everyone. Talk about raising hopes and then they just go into a pit of destruction. I was like, you know, we gotta stay focused, friends. Gotta stay focused. So next shuttle's coming. Next shuttle comes, lets people off, and then tells us, I need to go get gas. Drives away, doesn't take anyone with him. I'm like, you are kidding. And then I'm on the phone with Marcus and he's like, yeah. I'm like, I can see the lights at the aid station. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I just felt— I felt awful, awful.

I can hear my brother in the back saying, you can just wait. Maybe you can just wait for like 10 minutes at the aid station.

So then we tell Marcus, and I told his brother, I was like, oh, I, I feel so disappointed that I let this happen. I, I I'm coming here 2 hours before the next aid station because I'm supposed to run with him the next aid station at 55 miles. So I was like, I'm coming 2 hours before. And I apologized to Marcus like 18 times on the phone. And I know he doesn't like want to hear my apologies. So I decided to stop apologizing at that point. And then, yeah, your brother was like, you know, because we have all of Marcus's stuff, like I have his running vest to put on. I have a warmer shirt for him to run in throughout the night. I have the chafing cream. I have the Voltaren gel that hopefully was going to give some knee ache relief. Like, I have everything in this bag. Change of shoes, change of socks, everything is with me. So he could technically just like get some food and some electrolytes and go

up on water.

Yeah, refill on water and go. But the whole point of this aid station was to Get— see your people for some like moral support, get mentally focused again, and

replace the gels.

Oh yeah, I've got his gels for carbs. So like everything. So I felt awful. And then his brother's like, well, it's better for him to sit and wait for 10 minutes than to just like go. And in the long run of 24 hours, because we were predicting this race would take 24 hours, in the long run of 24 hours, like 10 minutes isn't going to be a big deal. So his brother, his older brother, I was like, okay, yeah, he should wait. And I just know what it feels like to— I've never ran 33 miles. I have ran 14, 13, and I know what it feels like to sit down after that and then try to get back up and go. It is literally painful. And then my sweet husband's already telling me that he's in pain. I'm like, well, I don't want to stick and make it worse. So anyway, though, that was my big bogey. was 10 minutes late to the first aid station. I get there and it's on the top of this hill. It is freezing cold, 9:30 at night when we get there. It's windy and Marcus is just chilling in a chair, like just chilling in a tank top, shorts, in the freezing cold wind, saying, I feel good. Like temperature-wise, he felt great. Um, he was saying that his knee and foot hurt. So we like get over to him and Oh, and then my double bogey. So I double bogeyed this aid station. I was like, I'm gonna be the best, the best aid station nurse you ever seen. Like, I'm gonna take good care of this guy. So he's like saying that his knee hurts and his feet hurt so bad, and he had kicked all these rocks, and his— like, he's like, my toe is done. And they're not just like little rocks that you're kicking. No, they're like Literal boulders sticking out of the ground.

How I hit them, I don't know, but I kept hitting them.

You hit like 20.

I was like just jamming my big toe in the front of my shoe, and I was like, that toe is jacked.

Yeah, and then really just hurting that foot. Um, so then I was like, you know, let's get a— let's get a clean pair of socks on you. That will help feel a little bit more fresh. Let's change your shirt, uh, because it's— it's freezing outside. He's like, I don't feel cold. And I was like, well, I think you're gonna feel cold. Because you're going to go running. And his coach had told me some things just to make sure that happens. So changing his shirt, changing his socks. So I'm sitting there on the dirt. I'm sitting there in the dirt and I rest his foot over my leg and I'm like, best nurse right here. That's the award I'm getting. But I might've been late, but I'm going to be thorough and tender. So take off his shoe nice and gentle. Take off the sock nice and gentle. His toes were hurting. His foot was hurting. His knee was hurting. And I was like, I'm gonna put clean socks on this handsome guy of mine. Um, so I go to put the sock on and I get— I get—

They're toe socks, so it's a little bit more difficult.

It is more challenging. Um, so I get one sock on his left foot and then I go to this right foot which had a huge blister on one of his toes. And I was like, all right, I'll be gentle. So I take the sock off and I go trying to put the other sock on and I'm like, why?

I didn't even know I had a blister. She's like, you have a big blister on, on this toe. And I was like, Oh yeah, it didn't hurt or nothing

stuff. But I was like, why are these socks so hard to get on? And this is where my double bogey comes in. Marcus goes, these are Brandon's, which is his brother. And I have no idea how his brother's toe socks ended up in Marcus's aid station bag, but his brother just has smaller feet than Marcus. So they're just like literally a size too small, noticeably. And I'm like, Now she's

like, that's okay, we'll just—

yeah, okay, fine, it's totally fine. So I like take the socks off, but I felt awful because it was painful for him to get the socks on and like put his shoes on and stuff.

It was more the motion of like

bending the foot.

Yeah, like lifting my foot up. Like, you guys can't see, but it was like lifting my foot up as they're putting socks on, and then like as she's pushing onto my foot My foot, those muscles work to kind of stabilize. Yeah, it was hurt, it was painful.

And then like putting a blister through that toe.

I wasn't even thinking about my blister at that point.

I was, I was. That thing looks so painful. So anyway, that was my double bogey. First I was 10 minutes late, then I put the wrong size socks on him.

Just like going to a doctor's office at— you have an appointment at, at 12 o'clock and all of a sudden the doctor rolling in at like 12:45.

Oh, anyway, so Marcus then takes off from that aid station. We finally get him put together. Uh, takes off from that aid station. And then I get back to the house with his brother at 11 and I make his spaghetti for the next aid station, which I already had made. I really just heated it up and put it in the thermos. So I knew it'd be ready, get our running packs ready. Um, and then tried to go to sleep and that was like not happening at all. My watch says I slept for 2 hours, but I think I was just laying down relaxed for 2 hours because you called me at 1:30. My alarm was set at 2. I was planning on getting up at 2 and leaving the house by 2:30 so that I would be on time. And you and I talked, um, at 1:30, from 1:30 to 2. And, uh, at that point you were hurting real bad, hurting really bad. Um, but the weather, like you weren't fazed by the weather or the lack of sleep, like running through the night. It didn't seem like anything else was. an issue for you. It was just the foot pain was getting exceedingly worse and so was the knee pain. And anyway, so I think I got 30 minutes of sleep, honestly. Um, I get up at 2, get ready, get everything on, uh, load the car back up, get his brother. And his brother and I get out to the correct aid station. We get there an hour early. I was Very pleased. Very pleased. The shuttle situation worked out quite a bit better, which was nice. Um, we get there and we're just sitting around a little bit. I'm eating everything that I can knowing like we're going into this 14-mile run together at—

I told her it's not going to be a run.

Yeah. But all year long I had prepared for a run and, um, on ours together, I remember you get to the next aid station. So this is at 55 miles, about 4:00 AM. Marcus pulls in there. And we— he tried to get taped up by a PT guy that was there. So they would wrap this like athletic tape and help the runners. So he gets his ankle wrapped and he gets his knee wrapped. And I remember you told me like, I'm sorry, I'm just— I'm in a really bad headspace and I'm in a lot of pain. I'm in a really bad headspace. And I remember just telling you like, I love you right where you are. And that's okay. Like, I'm ready to go when you're ready to go. And you— it was such a waste of time with that PT guy. It was probably like 30 minutes that you're in this tent getting taped up by this guy, which again, every time you stop, it's painful. Your body starts tightening up and locking up and getting stiff and cold. And it's just that on top of the knee and foot pain was— it was so hard to see you in So much pain and just seeming like, can things just go your way? Like, I just wanted everything to go your way. It was not going your way. And then you walk out of the tent from the PT guy. Um, and, uh, you come back over to your brother and I, and you just immediately ripped the tape off of your knee. You're like, I don't even know what this is doing. None of us did. We were like, uh, Marcus knows about taping stuff.

Yeah, it was bad.

It was bad. And then he did like tons of tape around your ankle. And I,

I looked at that, I was like, well, at least if I got shot in my ankle, the bullet wouldn't penetrate the tape.

I was just looking at that. I'm like, are you gonna get any circulation down there? Like, I don't think that's a good idea. Your brother wanted to take, uh, his brother's an orthopedic surgeon, so he knows.

I was like, it's gonna take just as long to take off because it's about like peeling an onion.

At this point, it was, it was bad. Um, but yeah, pretty much we're just like, you know, we just got to get up and, and get going. So, uh,

I originally allotted for about 50, like 45 to 50 minutes for all aid stations combined. So like my goal was to—

8 or 9.

Yeah. So I was like, get in, switch my hydration vest out, eat something.

Which I had all the vests ready.

Yeah. and then get out. So like me, I think we were at that aid station for a total of like 55, like 50, or it was like probably 50 minutes total.

It was a long time.

So I waited a long time. I got a terrible tape job on my ankle and on my knee.

I totally forgot you started the race with a headache and it lasted the first 55 miles. Your headache was finally gone at mile 55, but you had a headache the whole first 55.

It was, it started at like mile Probably like mile 10. Um, but I had it from like 10 to, to basically 55, and I think it was from just running in the heat.

Yeah,

because I was drinking a lot of water, my pee was clear, like I felt like I was hydrated. But my— yeah, my head was just— it wasn't like I can still run with it, but it was just like anytime I moved to the side, like side to side, is when I was like, oh dang.

There's just one more thing where I'm like Yeah,

I was

like, I could go with that. Okay, he's been training a long time. He's done a 180 physically, like with your— with not wanting to go on family walks to running a 100-mile race. Like, give this man a good race. And I just was like, there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do to take away the knee pain or the foot pain or make this PT guy wrap tape better and be effective. There's, there's nothing I can do about the shuttle situation, which I understand I could have done a lot with getting there earlier. However, the shuttle information was very vague, unclear, and confusing. So I did give myself quite a bit of grace on that, even though I accept my bogey. It was circumstantial, I think. Um, so me and you start our portion of the race and we had 14 miles together and all year long. I'm going to be like completely honest with you. When you were walking at this point and like super light jog. My confidence went up by 10. Like, I swear, I, I think that's why it was— I mean, I wanted to be your girl and just like bring the sunshine, bring the warmth, bring the light. Like, you know, if you, if you wanted to be Anger from the movie Inside Out, I'll be Joy. Like, it was fine to me. And part of that was definitely because I knew there was a 0% chance I was going to slow you down. And that took a big fear away from me. And we had talked about that. I felt so afraid of slowing him down. I trained all year with him for this. I knew I was getting to this 14 miles. Um, I've been training all year. I did a half marathon. I've been running trails consistently, focusing on elevation gain. Like, I've been trying for a year, obviously not to the extent of running 100 miles, but I was going to be ready for 14. But then he, like, his paces kept getting faster all year long. And I was like, Uh, I, I was like, so like a couple months ago we were laying in bed, or it might have been a month before the race, we were laying in bed and watching a documentary, and I was like, babe, I just like, I feel worried that I'm gonna slow you down on race day. And instead of being like, oh my gosh, babe, there's no way. Jokingly. There's no way you'd slow me down. Like, I've seen how hard you've been training. I'm telling you, 10-minute mile pace is amazing. Instead of that, he literally just stands up from the bed and says, are you telling me I need a new pacer? And I was like, I instantly started crying. I instantly started crying. And I was like, I want to do it. I want to be ready. And like, you're running really fast and you told me I need to run a 10-minute mile. That's what I've been training And he's like, you've had a year to prepare. Like, you still did not let up. He just doubled down, was like, you've had a year to prepare. Do I need to find a new pacer? The race is in a month. And I was just crying. I just, I just started crying. I was like, I really want to do it. And then he's like, babe, you're— I'm gonna have ran 55 miles before we start together. We're going to be at like a 14-minute pace, not even a 10-minute pace. He finally like let up on it. But I was taking my role very seriously.

I was like, I am joking.

I was taking my role very serious. I wanted a boost of confidence in which he did not give me at the time. So when hottie man over here comes hobbling over and says that he's been walking, I'm like, oh, I can walk. Like, you know, I love walking. Like, I think this is great. Let's go walking. And I just felt so much confidence flood through me where I was like, not gonna slow down, that's for dang sure. No matter how this goes, he's setting the pace. I can keep up with this. So we do this little like trotty thing. We ran at night. I had never ran at night before. There's no way I would have ran in the dark. I'm not like— that's not my jam. I feel afraid very easily in that sense. Uh, bears, mountain lions. No thanks. People, people is honestly the biggest one for me. Dogs.

I thought I was gonna get attacked by a dog.

All the things. Yeah, all the things. So when we're like trotting through with our headlamps, I was like, this is kind of fun. Like, okay, like, I like this, I like this. I got this protective man here. Like, an animal doesn't know that he's injured, probably.

Like, at that point I'd be like, just let him eat me, run as fast as you can. Get my knee quick.

Yeah, so anyway, we're going through. It is just such a beautiful trail. I've never ran anywhere that beautiful. It was gorgeous.

It was a sunrise.

And then we get to the point of the sunrise, and the whole time, like, Marcus is in— he told me he was in a bad headspace, and he was very much in a bad headspace. Marcus is very, like, lighthearted, joking kind of guy, so Him being quiet and like not chatting with me was different.

Gritting my teeth.

Through the pain. And he kicked—

groaning.

Yeah, like anytime he like stumbled lightly on a rock, I could just tell the amount of pain that that sent him into. And, you know, I think for me as a wife, just what— like being a part of that, it was— it truly felt like such an honor to be in a pit with you without feeling responsible for getting us out of it, but more so like, I know how to make a fire. Like, I can at least keep us warm down here, and I can know that you're safe and you're okay, and I'm here with you and I'm safe and I'm okay. And I just absolutely loved— I loved that experience. I know that it— the race went different than you would have hoped, and obviously you don't want to be in that amount of pain. Who I became in the process though, and what I learned from it, I'm very grateful that you were willing to pay that That's what

I'm here for.

For me to grow. Um, and yeah, just like, just know that even in your worst, your worst headspace and your worst mood and your worst moment, like, oh my gosh, I'm still so obsessed with you. Like, that was just like so fun for me to see. Like, I still would choose you over literally any person on the planet, even when all this is happening and it's going differently. And There were a couple of comments that you made on the trail. So we're like going— I mean, anytime you kick a rock, he's like, oh, and it like hurts so bad. And I was just like, take it on chin, babe, take on chin, one foot in front of the other, we're just gonna keep going, it's already behind you.

I was about to start chucking everything.

I was like, it already happened, you know, we're gonna keep going. Yep, you got it. And then he, he said at one point like, I hate this trail. And I was like, you can hate this trail, I'm like, how much do you hate this trail? Do you hate this trail more than Speed Goat, or do you hate Speed Goat more than this trail? I was like, yeah, I think I still hate Speed Goat more than this trail. And I was like, okay, okay, so we've got some ranks going on. Like, I like it. And just like staying, just staying lighthearted beside you, not like just mirroring your mood because it was the mood that you're in. But more so letting you be in that mood and letting me be in my mood and showing you like, I love you even when you're in this mood. I love you even when you're in this headspace. And that was just such a cool and like rich part of an experience in marriage. And then there was one part. So Marcus used his trekking poles, which are these like handheld metal collapsible poles that you can use to keep you upright, help you climb mountains, find your footing on trails and things. And ideally, you're like really only using these to climb mountains. But because Marcus was in so much pain, he was using it more like crutches where, uh, it was a lot of work on his traps throughout the entire race, like his neck looking down so much because he was trying to avoid the rocks that he kept kicking. Uh, so for 71 miles, you're looking down, you are using your upper body to You navigate these poles, hold them up, and that was extremely taxing on your neck. Your neck also experienced some consequences from the race.

Now I can just look at the ground and still kick rocks.

Now I can see the rock that I kicked. Uh, but there was one point though that you had, um, kicked a rock or something, and he took his trekking pole and he like smacked it against a bush. He's like, I could just break this pole every time I kick a rock. And I was like, and the fact that you still have 2 fully functioning, perfect poles in your hands says a lot about your self-control and a lot about you, because you're right, you could—

I was like, they're lucky that they— that I need them.

I was like, you're right, you could have broke— you could have broken those poles by now, and you haven't because of who you are. And, and then he was, um, I had said something about like how much fun it is to just be with him and how much I love just being on the trail with you, and you had turned it around into like Yo, well, I'm out here just being a dick, or— you didn't say that. Oh my God. You had said something like to that extent about being in a bad mood, like being a grump, whatever, and like having, having bad things, like just a bad mood to say. And I was like, your idea of being in a bad mood and being at— being in a bad headspace is telling the PT guy that just did a horrific tape job Thank you, and walking away kindly. Like, like, you're, you're—

Thank you for not only wasting your time, but mine as well.

But you wouldn't even say that, but you just, you just leave it. Thank you. Like, you're such a well-mannered gentleman with the most kind heart that is known to man. Like, I'm convinced he's got the kindest heart known to man, and our boys get that from him. And even when you're in so much pain, and I, oh my gosh, even like being me being 10 minutes late to the aid station, I will never again as a wife give you a hard time for being late to anything. Never again. Never. And I have before. I have before. But the way you handled that with so much kindness, you didn't give me any grief for being 10 minutes late. And I know. the situation that I put you in. Like, I literally just made your race harder, and I was wearing the weight of that and still just trying to like do the next best thing. And he didn't say a single thing about how my coach told you to be here an hour before I get here, uh, or I told you what miles I was at. You can track me live. There's absolutely no good reason to be late. There's no good excuse to be late. And honestly, maybe you don't lecture me because you know I am a very accountable person and I do take ownership and I do— I always see my part in everything. Like even if my part is one sticky note of a whole deck of sticky notes, I will see my part and I will acknowledge it and I will extensively work on it. So maybe that's why you don't. But he just sat there kindly in the chair like, hey guys, here I am. Oh my God. Not a mention of us being late. And I remember thinking about that while we were on the trail together. Like, how many times have I criticized you, lectured you, belittled you, and just had these, like, no grace, no grace for you being 10 minutes late coming home from SU or 10 minutes late getting back from a run? Like, just, you, you spent 10 minutes chatting on the phone in the car before coming inside. Like, these 10-minute things that Every time it's an opportunity for me to be that kind and gracious. And I haven't always taken it, but since experiencing that with you, I just, I want to, like, I genuinely want to be that. I want to be you. I want to be you. Um, that was really, really awesome. And then, you know, as we're running on the trail together, we see the most beautiful sunrise of our, of my entire life. And we've been to beautiful places. Like we've seen Hawaii sunrises and Utah has beautiful sunrises. And we, we really have seen beautiful sunrises, but that one, I, I couldn't get enough of it. I, I like, I could have looked at that all day, just stayed in that exact same spot and just watched it. Um, and yeah, we were going through the trail together and you just, you just had an incredible heart about you, an incredible attitude, even in so much pain. And I know I say a lot of, a lot here on the podcast and in my membership, like you can be who you want to be no matter where you go or who you're with. And Marcus proved that to me on the trail. Like you're, the race was not going the way that you had hoped it would. You were in extreme amount of pain. I was mentioning more times than necessary that maybe you needed to eat more, which was not the issue, but you know. A woman wants her man to eat. So I'm like, maybe you just need to eat some food.

Some water.

I'm like, so water and food. But you know, on the trail, it just kept reminding you little reminders like, hey, you know, did your 20-minute timer go off to eat? Let's get a little bit of carbs in, stay hydrated, one foot in front of the other. If you kicked a rock, I'm like, it's already behind you, it already happened. Let's just keep going, we're gonna get there. And it took us— how long did it take us to do the 14 miles?

Way longer than it should.

I think it was like 5 and a half hours. It was, it was 5 and a half hours to do 14 miles together. And it is like forever going to be one of my favorite dates we've ever been on. Like, at one point I even told him, I'm like, oh, you're taking me on a date? It's pretty out here. I'm like, he's like, yeah, but she's right over that hill.

Oh, not this hill, just the next one.

I'm like, well, I'm so excited to get there. Uh, and then we finally get to the aid station and he sits down and he has his brother look at his knee and look at his ankle. And his— and I had done my 14 miles, and then your brother was supposed to do 16 with you, and they were supposed to climb

the highest, like, climb of the race, which the downhills were excruciating. So I was like, I probably could make the The uphill, but then it'd be

down pounding, the pounding of the downhill.

Yeah, it was, it was super past. So I was just thinking more thinking about if I'd even be able to get down, get off the mountain without blacking out at that point.

Well, at so many times you told me like, I've like, since knowing you, I've never been in this much pain. This is like blackout pain. 10 out of 10 pain, like any way you could describe that.

I have a high pain tolerance. I tell her that all the time.

I, I've never believed you. I have never believed that he had a high pain tolerance because like he'll stub his toe at home and then like smack the wall. I'm like, that's not a high pain tolerance.

That's just me attacking my—

Your pain receptors or what? But you know, I've seen him just like jam his finger in a drawer or something, be like, oh, and I'm like, Yeah, I just— I hear you saying you have a high pain tolerance. I just don't actually, like, believe.

That's the intimidation factor to the object that I—

yeah, that's it—

that I hit.

But then on this race, it was very fun to tell you, like, I've always known that you've had a high pain tolerance. Just telling you, like, you have such a high pain tolerance. And now I believe he has.

I hobbled for 51 miles.

Yeah, he has a high pain tolerance for sure. Um, and just thinking about, like, all the times that You've been there for me during labor and delivery for our boys. 3 of them were home births and you were like absolutely doula status and counter-pressure, pulled all-nighters with me. Like, it just felt so fun to do something like that for you. Like, you know, you're there with me all night during these painful contractions.

And she was my doula during the race.

Yeah, there's nothing you could do to take the pain of the contractions away from me, but You just being there and being my guy is always more than enough. So I just approached the race the same way. Like, I just need to be there and, and be his girl. I don't need to be his coach. I don't need to be a PT. I did try to be a nurse momentarily, but even then—

You're fired.

You literally— I would have been fired. Uh, so being your girl is more than enough. So I remember we get to that aid station though. You sit down, your brother's looking at you, and It was just not—

I couldn't even sit in the chair. Like, I fell in the chair, experienced the pain, and then he started trying to like mess with my foot, and I was like,

it's very painful.

Yeah, my blood pressure is probably extremely high.

Yeah. So then I'm watching Marcus sit there in so much pain knowing there's 30 miles ahead of him and, and believing that you could do it. Like, I still believe that you could do it. I just In my heart and in my head didn't like the idea of you doing it in so much pain for 31 miles. And like, I just, I didn't like it. It was really painful to think about. Um, and I was trying to keep it together because I just kept telling myself like, it's not about you. Like, this is about Marcus and we're here for Marcus. And you know, if Marcus wants to keep going, then my job is to support what Marcus wants. And I just kind of kept my head there. Want what he wants, want what he wants, want what he wants. Um, and then you stood back up and you kind of like wobbled for a second because the stabilizer muscles in your feet weren't necessarily— I

was like, this is not— this is not a good sign.

Yeah. So you have your poles and you and your brother set out again. And I was like already crying as like watching you walk away in so much pain. I was already crying. And then I like take a deep breath and I like swallow down my emotion for a second, which I really don't like swallowing down my emotions, but I wanted to sound strong and like, like your girl for you. So I was like, you got this, babe. And then you're like further, further up. And I just like kneeled down next to the bag and cried. Like I just let myself cry. And Cried some more and took a lot of deep breaths and just kept crying. Like, I just kept crying. And then the sweetest older lady comes over to me, she puts her hand on my shoulder, she's like, that was so hard to watch, and, and can I give you a hug? And I stand up and she gives me a hug and I start crying more. And I was like, it's so hard to watch the people you love in pain. And she's like, I know, honey, I know. And gosh, that was so hard to watch. And I just, I, it's like, I just felt like Allie from The Notebook. Like, that's just, that scene burned in my brain. I'm like, this is such like a hero going to war kind of scene. Like, Tessa, like, he's safe on a mountain and everybody's here supporting. And it was just, it was such a, it was an emotional roller coaster, like highs and lows. And even as we were finishing our run together, I was telling you, I was like, oh my gosh, there was one part that I was like, you know, every mile. We should talk about one specific person that we love and we appreciate. So I picked his grandpa that has— that passed away 8 years ago. I picked his grandpa. I was like, let's talk about Papa Myron. Like, let's just talk about Papa Myron because he was so active. And gosh, could you imagine how like proud he is of you? He was on those like 30-mile bike rides all the time. And now you can tell him that you ran a 100-mile race. And then I just start crying. Like, I went so deep. On Papa Myron and what we love about him and how much we miss him. But then I was crying on the trail. I was like, well, this is a bad idea. Like, this is, this is sweet, Tessa, and we're gonna do something different. Like, if I'm gonna get this deep with every person we talk about, I'm gonna be crying the whole time. No thanks. So then I was just telling you, like, you know, the impact that you're making and how getting your— like, you choosing to do this and asking your brother to pace you. He got into running and he lost 30 pounds, and his dad's gotten into running and he's lost weight. And like, you've lost weight, and you guys are all just feeling so much better and signing up for ultramarathons. And I'm like, the ripple effect of what you're doing is enormous, and your impact is unmistakable. And I just— I think it's the coolest thing. Like, I also want you to pay attention to that. And there was a part where I could see how much pain you're in, and I started talking about like, you know, uh, because I think you had said something like I can't drop— like, I can't drop out of the race. Like, I can't, I can't DNF because everyone's up here. Aaron came with his family. Brandon's here. Like, everyone's here. I can't just— I can't, I can't drop out. And I was like, well, even your coach dropped out of a race earlier this year. And in these documentaries that we've watched, like, having a DNF on an ultramarathon— there's so much to this sport. outside of your training. Like, training-wise, you were 100% ready. But that's what's so fascinating about ultramarathons is it's not just your training of how much effort you put in over the last year. It— there's so many other things that— I mean, the Moab 240 was canceled. They, they ended the race when the first place— the first— the person in the lead hit mile 200 and they canceled the race because of weather. So, you know, everybody gets a DNF, I guess, or, you know, you get a DNF. And I think about how many people started the Kodiak 100, and I think it was like, what, 180 people pulled out, were DNF? And it's such a respectful— it's, it's highly regarded, it's highly respected to have a DNF. In this sport. Um, and then I remember getting on— oh my gosh, there's this bag. I was carrying this bag. I swear to you, it felt like it was 200 pounds. It was probably only like 100, but it felt like 200. I'm carrying it 3/4 of a mile down a rocky hill with a camping chair that would not fold shut for the life of me. It just kept opening on my left shoulder, and I have this enormous bag on my right shoulder. And I'm crying the whole, the whole time I'm walking down the hill because I'm thinking about Marcus and how much pain he's in, and he's about to go climb this mountain. And it wasn't even the climb that I was like, felt so worried for you. It was the downhill where I'm like, oh, that's gonna be so painful. And then, you know, I make it onto the shuttle bus and this nice guy like, it's like, oh, let me take that bag for you. And I just felt so tired and so emotional. I didn't warn him how heavy it was.

He's like, what the heck?

Yeah, I just— I was just kind of out of it. And then he was like— I was like, you know, he was like, let me take that bag for you. And I was like, I would love that. Did not tell him, like, careful, it's really heavy. So he

grabs the chair also that doesn't fold.

He had the chair. I was like, I almost chucked it in the dumpster at the bottom of the hill. And I was like, you know, I just am gonna See it through. I'm gonna make sure it gets home with me, and I'm never gonna touch it again. But yeah, the guy was so—he's like, "Whoa!" And then he like gets it to a back seat, and I'm crying on the bus. And then as the bus is pulling away, probably I've been on this bus for a minute, and it's pulling away, driving away. Marcus calls me, and he's like, "Hey, I—I'm gonna—I'm gonna pull out of the race."

We, we made like a mile up the hill, and that's when I just told my brother, I was like, I, I can't do this for 30 more miles. I was going at like a 25-minute pace, and it was hurting really bad. And I was like doing the math in my head. I'm like, this is gonna take like another 10 hours or something.

36 hours to finish the race, and Marcus was at 21 hours.

Yeah. Even like the first 33 miles, I was ahead of my pace that I wanted. So I was like, I had a good— I didn't think that I probably could have finished the race underneath the 36 hours, but I'd be cutting it close with how slow I was going at that point and how slow I would need to go on the downhill.

Also, I just have so much more respect for the person that finishes in last place. in an ultramarathon. Like, to endure that for 36 hours. And the people that were finishing— Good. That were finishing this race, it had started raining and getting very windy at the end of like approaching the 36 hours. So seeing the, seeing the people come in, I have an enormous amount of respect for last place. Like, I, I think it's just as impressive as first, honestly. Like, yeah, that person's fast, but this one's got a lot of grit. So I think that's also very impressive. Um, and anyway, so you had called me saying that you're gonna drop out, and, uh, I had said like, I, I support whatever you do. Like, I'm, I'm here, and 71 miles is absolutely incredible. It's further than you've ever been, further than you've ever gone. And I still like— I love the example for myself and For our boys to know the wise point to finish too. Like, just because you sign up for a 100-mile race, if you are getting all these signs and signals from your body and wisdom says finish next year, like, uh, if that's what wisdom says, I want our boys to have that example. I don't want them to only have the example of you sign up and you do it and you do the things that you say you're going to do, which you guys know I've value that to my core. And the bigger the goal that you set, it takes a lot more strategy and wisdom and technique and posture and, and planning and training than just if you said you're gonna go pick up your friend at 4 o'clock, be there at 4 o'clock. Like, that— there's just such a difference in this. And that was just a really beautiful lesson that I'm glad that that's part of the story. I'm really glad that it ended at 71 miles. And even during our 14 miles together, I was like, the goal is to finish healthy. So you finished 71 miles healthy. And we don't know if 72, 80, 90, or 100 would have been healthy. And we do know that 71 was healthy. So that was really great. And, and again, I just, I love that it happened this way. Like, I I know you worked so hard over the last year and you put in so much dedication and training, and that's just been such a wonderful thing to watch you be so focused on something and have such a vision for it and to see who you've become in the process. Like, I know you said you had a bad headspace when I got to run with you, but compared to a few years ago, I, I'd argue like that was an excellent headspace. space and just a lot of physical pain, but it was an excellent headspace for being in so much physical pain. Yep. Yep. So, uh, that is— that's race day. Uh, we do have— we're gonna do a follow-up episode that is all Q&A. So I gathered a lot of questions on social media, and I'm gonna be— we're gonna come back together and answer them here on the podcast. If you have a question following up from the 100-mile race story that we just shared with you, you're welcome to leave it in the comments and we will answer it on the next episode. But yeah, there's just so many. I mean, there's 100 things that I could share from the 100-mile race. I, I do encourage everyone to choose a big goal that scares you and it might take you more than 1 year to train for and more than 1 try to finish it. But We'll be back for Big Bear Kodiak 100 next year. Marcus already said he's gonna run it.

I gotta finish it so I can sleep good at night.

Yep, yep, we are sleeping good at night.

That, and I signed back up for Speed Goat to punish myself.

It's just the same, the same, same races for next year. I'm, I'm really excited to just hit the aid stations out of the park, you know. And like, when I pace you next year, I'm gonna be ready for those 10-minute miles. I'm grateful I get another year to train for it, uh, so that I can build.

This year was just a learning experience,

a lot of learning,

and I got in really good shape. So, so now I'm just gonna build off of that.

And our boys, they've gotten so confident in what they can do and sign up for and how far they can go running. And they finished 5Ks this year. They were beating adults. My 6-year-old was and my 8-year-old, they're smoking adults on this 5K trail run. Um, and I just, I just feel so excited for who they're becoming as people and that they're our people. Like, our people are really cool. Uh, you're really cool. And anyway, I'm really grateful that you did the 100-mile race, and I'm really grateful that you're going to do it again next year. I am in full support of all of your training, everything you need. You got this. So we'll have another year of training ahead of us. We're very excited about it. We might put one more race on the calendar for me. Uh, we're kicking around that idea. That will be a surprise one. But yeah, if you have, if you have questions and you want them to be on our Q&A podcast, uh, next episode, just go ahead and put them in the comments below and we would absolutely love to answer them. And, and ultimately, you know, I'm really, really grateful that you listen to this show and you engage with me and chat with me on social media and you're part of my membership, whatever extent it is that I get to work with you, if it's simply you listen or you're closer and you're in a mastermind or a coaching program or my membership, I am extremely grateful for you individually as a listener here on the podcast because 8 years ago, I just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and I was trying to figure out how to bridge gap in income. And we just needed $400 a month in order for us to break even, not be comfortable, but break even. And me be a stay-at-home mom. And even just listening to this podcast makes a big difference in that. And many people started in my online workout community. And I know I get to live this life that I am wild about. I love our life. I get to live this life because There are people like you that believe in positivity and the impact that it makes as a wife, as a mother, as a woman, just like I do. So I'm really grateful that you give me a platform and a place to speak and and a difference to make. And I mean, the ah the life that I get to live because of it, I'm extremely grateful for. So I keep showing up and and and wanting this for you too. So I do hope that this episode inspired. Inspires you to be the wife that you want to be now. See the way that you can show up as the wife you want to be, even when your husband's in a bad headspace, even when he doesn't want to go for the family walk, even when he wants to set a really big goal for himself and everything in between. There is a version of you that you love being as a mother and as a wife, and it is completely in your control. And that's a very exciting thing is what I found. So. Um, I hope that we can see your family signing up for races, going on family walks. Maybe a couple of you are going to sign up for 100-mile races. Um, I don't know if that's ever on my bingo card, but love that for you guys if it is. So anyway, just a huge thank you, a heart full of gratitude. Um, our family is so much of what we want it to be because you show up here with us, and I'm really grateful for that. Any final words?

Go after some big goals because you got this.

Yes, ma'am. Yes, sir. Those listening, yes. Okay, we will see you next time for Q&A.