30. 4 Tips to Lighten Your Mental Load in Motherhood

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to the Mind Body Alignment podcast. I'm your host, Tessa Romero, and also your coach. I'm here to teach you powerful skills and tools to not only know who you are, but how to become exactly who you want to be with a mindset that finally supports you. I'm so grateful that you're here. Let's get started. Hey. Hey, my sweet friends. This is pretty much what feels like my first episode back, and I feel really courageous having the first episode back from taking a few weeks off after. After having Drew to really address the mental load of motherhood with you guys. After I said, I'm either going to talk about being the default parent or the mental load of motherhood as my first episode back, after I sent that email, I was like, oh, that is a big topic, Tessa. Good job. So I am truly excited to do this episode. And I want you to know that with everything in me, I truly believe that there is a mental load in motherhood. There's an invisible load. There's a mental load. There's the emotional. Emotional load. There is a thing of being the default parent. I believe in these things. I've just personally noticed that in every space that I see it being talked about, I'm not seeing a whole lot of solutions shared or practical ways that women can help manage this mental load of motherhood or the emotional load, or if you are the default parent, like, what to do about it. So I really want to do this episode so I can kind of share with you guys how I help myself, because I do believe that mindset is involved. How could it not be? If we're talking about a mental load, how could mindset not be a part of it? And even if it's not the whole thing, obviously, like, our circumstances are there, the people in our lives are there, and as that's unfolding in front of us, like, those are real things, too. But we think something about those circumstances, we think something about the people in our lives, and most importantly, we think something about ourselves. And I truly believe that what I think about myself and my ability to handle my circumstances affects me more than the circumstance itself. If I think I can handle my screaming toddler, then I do such a better job showing up to that circumstance than if I think I can't handle this. Well, the screaming toddler is there no different. It's just when I think I can do it, I have a much easier time. And when I think I can't do it, I have a much harder time. That's when I find myself, like, struggling to breathe or I feel that heat in my chest. I feel really tense in my body. And I. I don't want to get down to his level. I just want him to stop right now and he shouldn't be screaming. And my mind goes to these very unhelpful places. So I know what helps me may not help you, and I truly want to deliver this in a very gentle way, because I'm not telling you that you're doing something wrong. I am 100% telling you that you're doing so much right. So much right. And even just allowing yourself to see how much you do what things you do very effortlessly and gracefully and naturally, instead of trying to point out everything that is so hard and weighs on you so much and that you shouldn't have to do. Like, instead of only looking for things like that, it does your mindset so much good to first just start seeing what you do really good at, what comes more natural for you, and let yourself see, like, okay, I can lead with those things. It is natural for me to get down to my child's level. I do that really well and being able to talk yourself up. So if you are like me and you've been seeing a lot of talk around the mental load of motherhood, I believe it. I believe that it's real. I also know that working with thousands of different women in the last four years, that we don't have the best mindsets in motherhood. It's not natural to just have a great mindset. Like, that's not a natural thing. That takes a lot of hard work. It's very intentional to develop a great mindset. And I was listening to a book and it was saying how thinking is hard work. And it was by John C. Maxwell. And it's true. Thinking is hard work. Thinking is hard work. Especially when you have a screaming toddler in front of you or difficult circumstances, your family's been slapped with an unexpected bill, or the car broke down, or your husband's coming home late from work or he gets deployed right? Like there. There are so many different circumstances that make thinking even harder than if you were sitting in a quiet room by yourself trying to get your mind into a helpful place. So mindset is not the be all, end all. There's obviously a lot of things we need to do in our lives. But I always believe that thoughts come first. And I really want to just create this episode to help share some practical ways that I help myself through the mental load of motherhood that I hope in some way you can apply in your life and you can feel a little bit more empowered and encouraged going through that daily life and lightening your mental load instead of it being this big, heavy thing that you feel like, oh, my gosh, the mental load of motherhood. That's why I do what I do. We all have a mental load in motherhood, and I want you to know that you can lighten your load. There are things you can do. So on this episode, I'm going to share four ways that I feel that I manage my mental load and motherhood. And I'm basically using this, yes, off of my own personal life and experiences, but also in the last four years of coaching and how I've seen improvements in the women that I've been able to work with and how they've helped themselves with everything that they do do simply through mindset. So I'm sharing on the mindset side of things. So, number one, discipline your mind. Yeah, that's actually much easier said than done, but it is possible. I've done it. I've done it. The women in my courses have done it. You can discipline your mind if you read anything by Dr. Joe Dispenza. He talks a ton about this. Okay. And just because your mind comes up with this thought, you don't control all of your thoughts, first of all. So just because your mind gives you this thought does not mean that it's an appropriate time for you to explore that entire story and all of the possible outcomes and all the things that you've forgotten or didn't do or feel like you're failing at. We don't have to do that. So in disciplining your mind, what I mean is not everything has to be thought about. When my mind comes up with the idea, maybe it came up the idea of, oh, my gosh, I didn't get this done. I'm laying in bed at night and my mind is going to this place of, I didn't get this done, and I still have to do that. And I have a podcast, an email list, and Liam needs to do a schoolwork, and, gosh, we're potty training Luke. When is that going to be done? This is so difficult. Is Drew going to wake up in the middle of the night, like, all of the thoughts while I'm just laying there trying to go to sleep? So when I say discipline your mind, I mean I take my mind to this place of conscious thought. Yes, the noise is still happening, but I make my conscious thought, that voice in my mind, louder Than all of the noise. Consider that the noise. Your mind coming up with things that it heard and it consumed throughout the day. The thought patterns that you've been living with for years. That's the place your mind is in. Take it to a new place. Discipline your mind. When you lay down at night, what are you going to do? Instead of allowing your mind to literally stress you out and come. Come about it in this angle of, well, you can't handle all this because look at all the things you have to do. And yep, tomorrow's gonna be a terrible day because XYZ no where can you take your mind instead? So, for example, my mind doesn't usually do this with motherhood anymore, but it can do it with my work. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I don't actually post a podcast super consistently. I want to, and I'm working on it, but that hasn't happened yet. Taking a few weeks away from, like, my social media content, pretty much, that was weighing on me. Like, oh, my gosh, you need to post content. Like, and my mind was going to these places. For me, disciplining my mind was checking what is true and what is not true. Do I have to post content? No, I don't have to post content. I want to. I get to, but I don't have to. My life is not stake here. Like, I'm fine. So disciplining my mind, it looks like being the voice of reason, like the conscious voice of reason instead of this inner voice that I call it the bully within us. So y' all have a bully inside of us. Instead of the bully saying this, this, this, that, and the other. Look at all the reasons you have to be stressed out. Come on, let's have a panic attack. It will be fun. Instead of your mind doing that, you start to notice the pattern happening. I didn't clean the kitchen before bed. I. Darn it, I started arguing with my husband. I didn't handle that tantrum well. And you're just reflecting on the day in a very negative way where you're predicting negative things to happen tomorrow. You're stressing yourself out. Whatever it is, disciplining your mind looks like that conscious voice of reason. What is true? What is true? Personally, I don't have to post content. I love to post content. And taking it back to this place of knowing this is what I want to do. I want to do this. I enjoy doing this. It. I feel purposeful and fulfilled in motherhood and what I do and why I do it. Okay? So disciplining your mind, you need to know, like, what are the vulnerable times for you? This is something that you could maybe write about a little bit and ask yourself, what are the vulnerable times for you that you find your mind going to the place of overwhelm and overload. It's not that it's completely lying, right? Like, yes, we have grocery shopping to do, yes, there's a schedule to keep and meals to make and people that we wanted to call back. Like, there's all of those things. But that's like part of the picture. And then the other part of the picture is, what do you really need to do? What do you feel in your heart you really need to do? It's 10 o' clock at night, you're laying down. Do you really need to call that person back right now? No. And how would it feel to just say, you know, I'm going to do that tomorrow right after breakfast? Would your mind continue to tell the story of how terrible a person you are that you didn't call that person back, or would you feel better having a plan of what you're going to do? And that gets into further tips of my four, but the first one, discipline your mind. Not everything has to be thought about. When my mind comes up with the idea so I get to say, hey, mind, yeah, we're actually not doing this right now. I'm not telling this story right now. What I am going to think about is xyz. I'm going to think about everything I did really well today. I'm going to think about the things I love most about my kids that I think it's hilarious that I found the Zerg doll in the fridge because Liam wanted it to be cold. I'm thinking about the highlights of my day, not I didn't handle that well. There's a lot of things I did do good. And instead of my mind going to the place of what I didn't do good, I make it go to the place and reflect on what I did do well at. And that helps me personally with disciplining my mind. And another example of this is when my family went on our trip and we got back last week. Flights are not my favorite thing. They just are not especially bringing my kids along. I learned that is very difficult for me mentally because I have this fear of the plane crashing and we all die. Okay, well, the chances of that happening are extremely unlikely. But yet my mind wants to tell this story. And the story leads to me feeling extremely anxious, getting on the plane with my Three beautiful children and my husband that is literally the man of my dreams. And I love my life. And I can on this plane, like, oh, my God, we're all gonna die. That's not true. And if I entertain that thought long enough, what happens? I start to feel really anxious. I start to feel like there's nothing I can do. And my mind goes to that place. Well, the frick. You're not flying a plane. You don't control this plane. You don't control if it falls out of the sky and just making all these terrible, negative, dark predictions. And there's something I can do about that when I discipline my mind to know, you know what, the chances of this plane falling from the sky and crashing into the ocean are extremely unlikely. And then the other voice says, oh, my God. But it could happen. Okay, yeah, true. It could happen. So this is what, this is how I personally help me with any anxious thoughts that I have or anxious feelings. I ask myself, what would I do? What would I do if that happened? I would be the mom on the Titanic movie. Have you guys seen the movie Titanic? I'm sure you have. Pay attention next time you watch Titanic. There is a scene towards the end of the movie where the moment has two kids and she realizes, like, we're not going to make it into a safety boat. And she takes the kids back to their room, knowing full well that there is water on this ship. So she takes the kids back to their room and she lays in bed with them and she like sings them song and she does bedtime and she's so calm, she's so nurturing, she's so gentle. She is the mother. She wants to be through the circumstances that she doesn't want to have. And to me, that's mental discipline. Making your mind go to a place that does empower you. It does see who you are. You get to be who you want to be through the circumstances that you don't want to have. And that's where I took my mind with the plane thing. Like, if this plane falls out of the sky, I will know what's happening, will my voice maybe. But I can be the strong, steady constant of calm, nurturing energy. I'm the person that brings us in. I. I'm the person that helps them feel safe. And you know what? I'm gonna hold all three of my kids. I'm gonna sit next to my husband and I am going to be the mother I want to be through the circumstances I don't want to have. And I'm gonna Know that about myself. I know that about myself 1000, 50 hundred percent. That's who I would be. And when I think about that, when I think about that, instead of it being this scene of panic and terrible things in my head, I take it to this scene of holding my kids. I make it this really sentimental mental experience. So I believe in myself, I trust myself, and I feel calm on the plane. Not because I've controlled the plane. No, because I know I'm going to control me. So that's the part of mental discipline that when you're considering your mental load and motherhood, it is powerful to discipline your mind. Not everything has to be thought about. When my mind comes up with the idea, just because my mind says something, oh, you didn't do this, does not mean I have to believe it. Thoughts aren't facts, okay? So I know the mental load of motherhood is a real thing. I experience it too. Mothers aren't the only ones that experience the mental load. And when we can apply tools and tips like this, we can help ourselves. Okay? So, yeah, there's all this content around everywhere saying, oh my God, it's a real thing. This is why you feel the way that you feel. Love that. Okay? I really do. I appreciate it, but let's look for something helpful. Okay? Now that we know why we feel the way that we feel, what are we going to do about it? The first thing that I do is discipline my mind. The second thing that I want you to do is practice positive self talk and praise. I had a mom message me on Instagram and I had been scrubbing. Not scrubbing, but really just wiping footprints off of Luke's closet door. Because for a while I had this big box in Luke's room and Liam would climb up the box by putting his feet on the closet door and like going, I don't even know how to freaking explain that. He had his back against the box and he was like walking himself out the box by putting his feet on the closet door. Now my kids have dirty feet, okay? They're. They just have dirty feet. They rarely wear shoes when they play outside. Like, they're just, they're just boys. And I personally love it, so I don't have a problem with it. But anyway, I was wiping the feet prints off of the closet door and I posted on my Instagram story, I did like a 50 second video because part of my job is posting mindset content and I felt it was a valuable piece of mindset content. So I do that and then I write about how my husband is not going to come home and say, wow, the closet look. The closet doors look so great. Like he's just not going to. I know that. I know he's not going to. If I were to wipe down all the cabinets when my husband gets home from work at 6:00pm first of all, there's no sunlight on the cabinets, so, you know, it'd be kind of hard to see that they're all sparkling clean now. But even if it were in the middle of the day, I do not expect my husband to come home and notice that I cleaned the cabinets. But focusing on practicing positive self talk and praise means that I know that I did it and I know why I did it and it matters to me and I'm doing a great job. And wow, I love how clean those white doors look. Are they gonna get dirty again? Yeah. But I'm proud of the way I spent my time. I'm proud of the example I showed my kids that we take care of the things that we have, that when we see something, we do it. If there's something that we see that needs to be done, you can be the person that does it. And I love that. I love that about myself. And I know that that's how women are. They see something that needs to be done and they just do it. Now, I don't believe that men are programmed the exact same way personally. They can get there and you know what, bless em, they're doing a great job and they have strengths that we don't have. But I truly believe that it is just programmed into women to see something that needs to be done and do it. And it's just the way that our brains work. And, and with men, you know, they have strengths and I'm not knocking them at all. I'm just letting you know this is a strength of yours. It is a strength and you get to praise yourself for that. And when your husband comes home, you can also praise yourself. I got so much done today. I cleaned off Luke's closet doors because Liam's little footprints were. I mean, they were just so dirty on the door and I just wiped it down. It fel so good to get that done. I'm so proud of myself. What's your spouse going to say? Like, seriously, what is he going to say back to that? Is he going to say, oh, well, you shouldn't have done that? Why would he say that if you just said, I'm so proud of myself for doing this now it would make sense if he said, well, you shouldn't have to worry about things like that. Don't worry about things like that. It would make sense if he said that if you led the story with and I had to clean all the closet doors because Liam keeps walking up the box with his feet getting the closet doors dirty, sounding very annoyed about the things that you did. Instead of validating, appreciating, and praising yourself. It's a lot easier for other people to see this invitation to say, good job, babe. You know, I always, you know, I maybe I don't do a very good job at noticing the things that you do, but our home runs so smooth, and I know it's because of you. Maybe it'd be so much more natural for someone else to validate praise and appreciate us if we were leading that language about ourselves Instead of saying, I can't do all of this. You can and you can delegate. I'm not saying you have to do it all on your own, but the things that you choose to do, some of them that come very naturally for you, you get to praise yourself for those things. And that's what I want you to do. I want you to lead with more positive language. And that goes back to disciplining your mind, to think positively about yourself, to seek out ways that you can praise yourself even if you didn't wipe down the freaking cabinets or doors. Whatever, just whatever you did do, making breakfast, sitting down to drink your cup of coffee. Instead of walking around with it or forgetting about it, whatever you want the example to be, look for the ways that you can practice positive self talk and praise yourself. Did you know you can even practice positive self talk when you're not proud of the thing that you did? Oh, yeah, 100%. So if your toddler throws a screaming tantrum, right? And it was just a weak moment for you, very vulnerable, and you ended up screaming back. Well, you had this big goal to not scream at your kids. Okay, so you're not proud of what you did, but can you have positive self talk and validate yourself like, it was a weak moment? I can understand what my trigger was. I can see how I missed that. I know why I did what I did. I'm going to focus on repairing now. I can recover this. The day's not ruined. This was a really hard moment for all of us. And this is a very good teaching moment for me to show my kids how to take total ownership over your actions and an extended proper apology that would help someone know, like, I'm sincere about this. That's positive. Look, you have this negative circumstance, things that you're not proud of and yet you can still be kind to yourself and I. That is going to come more naturally for us when we practice positive self talk and praise. So that helps me with my mental load in every area in my work where I typically struggle with the mental load more. And in motherhood, when I'm able to focus on positive self talk and praise. So focus on that. Number three, knowing why I do what I do so you can see how these really go together. Disciplining your mind is number one. Not everything has to be thought about when my mind comes up with the thought. Practicing positive self talk and praise is number two. And number three, knowing why I do what I do. Do I clean the footprints off the closet door because I want my husband to notice personally? No, that's not why I do it. I do it because I see that it needs to be done. I want it done. It's bothering me, so I'm going to do it. I'm not going to create a story in my mind about how it shouldn't have happened. The reality is that it did happen. And if I'd like to teach Liam that this is no longer acceptable in our home, then I will teach him that. But I've honestly enjoyed watching him do it. I think it's funny. So I'm not worried about correcting that. And I don't need this big story in my mind. Right. Going back to disciplining my mind, I'm not going to argue with reality. I'm not going to say what should and shouldn't be the frick. I don't know. This is the way that it is. So I'm imagining that it should be this way because it's the way that it is. And now what am I going to do about it? That's the empowered approach. What do I do about this? So knowing why I do what I do, I don't clean the cabinet, the, the cabinets because I want my husband to notice. I clean the cabinets because it matters to me to do the things that I notice. If I see something that I want done, it matters to me that I do it. And if I'm delegating tasks, yes, it matters to me that I communicate the tasks that I need help with and need to delegate. It all comes back to the same thing. No part of this message is saying, do it all on your own, all the time. No, I want you to delegate and systemize. Okay, that's coming up. I'm just letting you know that knowing why you're communicating with somebody. Why you're teaching a lesson to your kids, knowing why you're doing the grocery shopping, why you're cleaning up the mess, why you're cooking the meal, why you're feeding the dogs, why you're doing your workout, why you're journaling, take your mind back to the place of why you're doing it. It's not because you have to and it's not because you're the only one that will do it. And I feel this gets very difficult for us mentally because social media is a huge influential tool for us. I mean, on all of us. Movies, right? What we consume is extremely influential on us. So the books you decide to read, the podcasts you listen to, the music that you listen to, the radio shows, the tv, social media, all of that affects you. It affects you. You're consuming this, you're listening to it, you're forming your opinions, maybe you're agreeing with people. So if on social media we're seeing all these messages about how you're doing it because you're the only one that will. What? No, that is not helping you. It's not helping you. And I, I love you so much. Moms are incredible. Mothers are incredible. And we deserve to know that about ourselves. We deserve to know that we do something for so much more freaking purpose and reason than because no one else will. It just all falls on you. It falls on you because no one else will do it. No, you show up, you're reliable, you're dependable, you do the things that matter to you. You see what needs to be done and you do it because it's who you are. Right? Like you, you. It's who you are. And that is so personally, when I think that way about myself. I'm doing this because it's who I freaking am. I will make sure I nurture and nourish my children. I will make them their meals. Not because no one else will, but because I want to be the one that does matters to me. And having that language in your mind obviously goes back to discipline and practicing positive self talk and praise, but knowing that why is so powerful. So that way, when you come across some real that says motherhood is monotonous and you're doing these things because no one else will and you don't get enough praise and appreciation, well, I hope that doesn't hit you quite the same way that it used to. I hope you're able to say no. I actually do this because it matters to me. I don't do this because no one else will. I do this because I get to do this. And I. Another example is I posted when we were flying on the plane, my husband was trying to, like, wrap up this blanket, Liam's blanket, and put it back in the web part of Liam's backpack, just like I had had it. And when I do it, it literally takes me two seconds. Like, fold the blank in half, fold it down. Boop, boo. Put it in the web thing, clip it, we're good to go. And I was watching that. I was holding Drew across the aisle from my husband, and he was next to Liam and Luke because we had switched halfway through the flight. And I'm watching him, and I just. I smile. I'm, like, smiling, watching him, because not only am I seeing my husband try so hard, which I always appreciate, but I'm also watching him do something, putting forth so much effort for something that I do pretty effortlessly. Like, it's easy for me, and I'm glad that he's doing it. Guys, like, my husband hasn't done anything wrong, and I. I just love that moment of appreciating, like, he's trying so hard for something that I don't. I don't really even feel like I try it. Just. I just do it. It's so easy for me. And giving myself that opportunity to see this is easy for me. It's not easy for everybody. But folding that blanket and putting it in the backpack, that's easy for me. But I'm seeing him, like, scramble, fumble. This big guy in the chair, like two toddlers next to him. I mean, there's not quite enough room to bend forward because there's a seat right there in front of you. And, you know, I just. I just smiled, like, yeah, I do this. I know why I do this, and I'm good at this. And I brought those three things together and just feels so much easier for me. And I had posted that on my Instagram story about how you have this beautiful, natural way of flowing through motherhood, and it's a gift. I said that specifically, you have this beautiful, natural way of flowing through motherhood, and it's such a gift. And someone else messaged me saying, it's not a gift, it's work. And I thought about that, and in my personal perspective, and maybe this is what serves me so much in my mindset. And, you know, obviously, this is very personal to me, so it's okay if you don't agree. But I know it serves me to view the work that I have to do that. I get to do that I have in front of me as a gift. I believe all work is a gift. To have work to do, especially meaningful work, a gift. So, yes, motherhood is work, but that work is a gift. It doesn't have to be. It's work or it's a gift. The work is a gift. And that message just made it so clear to me how easy it is to miss that. And when you have that mindset, it's really easy to have a very critical view of everyone around you, including yourself. But when we shift it to, I do this because it matters to me, not because no one else will. I am good at this. And we praise ourselves and we discipline our mind and we know why we do what we do. It is a lot easier to view people through that light as well. And I want that for you. Because you'll feel better when you view other people that way. When you view yourself that way, you will feel a thousand times better. And when you view other people that way, you will feel a thousand times better. So that's number three, knowing why you do it. It's not because you're the only one that will do it. Why do you do it? Get crystal clear on that. Why does it matter to you? Who do you wanna be? Is it in. Is doing that thing in alignment with the person you wanna be? Would you wanna be the person to do it even if someone else was doing it? You know, like, even when my husband is home, like on the weekends and things like, I, I wanna make the meals. It just, it feels so weird when he does it. Not because he does it wrong, not because gender roles in our mirror, like, none of that, none of that. It's just, I want to do it. That's why I want to do that. So I allow myself to do it. And there are things that matter a lot to my husband that he wants to be the person to do, to do that. And I love that. And I want to give him the room to do that as well. Because I believe we can work together in these areas. And I'm not saying my husband never cooks. He freaking cooks too. Like, he cooks, he cleans, he helps with the kids. I believe we work very much as a team and going back to like practicing positive self talk and praise, I think it's a lot easier for me to accept praise when my husband says, like, wow, this looks really great, because I lead with that language. I'm really proud of myself for the way I handled that tantrum. I'm doing a Great job navigating potty training and newborns and having a four year old and homeschooling like, wow, I'm really doing it. It just creates an invitation to receive more praise because I'm already doing it. So that's number three. Know why you do what you do? Number four is more of that implementation. Practical. Delegate and systemize. Delegate and systemize. What can you delegate? You already have the discipline in your mind to not tell this unhelpful, hurtful story in your mind, right? You're going to focus more on solutions and thoughts that are helpful for you. You're going to practice more positive self talk and praise. You know what you do what you do. Now, what do you want to delegate? How can you delegate it and empower your mind to see solutions? I don't know the right solutions for you and your home and your family, but you do because you're in it. You're right there. So what do you want to delegate? What can you delegate? And then what system can you create? When you think about your mental load in motherhood, if you truly feel there's just too much here, it's unrealistic. Okay, what can you delegate? Our plates are going to look a little bit different and what we want to do and what we don't want to do might look different between us too. And that's okay. I just want you to know that there is a way to delegate something. If you're seeking out a partner or a resource or deciding to say no to something, what do you want to do? And then what systems can you create? I have a lot of systems in my home. Because yes, it would feel extremely overwhelming if my kids had a million toys and we didn't have places for them to go. And I just accepted any gift that anyone gives us or any opportunity to collect more things. Like I. That doesn't serve me. My mind feels so much better in a clear space. So I created systems, right? The blocks go in this box. Lincoln Logs are in here, Play doh's in here. All the school activities are on this desk that you guys have. You're welcome to get whatever you want out, but it stays at the desk. Like putting systems in place like that for laundry as well. Like things that help me. Instead of creating the mountain of laundry by not doing it personally, I wash it, dry it and put it away. Wash it, dry it, put it away. And that's more of like a personal boundary with myself. And when my mind says, oh, I just don't want to do that, I don't feel like it. I go back to that first tip that I shared with you. Discipline my mind. My mind doesn't get to tell me. I mean, it can tell me I don't feel like it. Well, too freaking bad, because I don't feel like dealing with a mountain. I don't feel like having this in my visual for the next week. I don't feel like feeling stressed and anxious when things are piling up around me. So I'd rather just do the load of laundry than deal with all those things. And. And that might not be the road that you want to take, and that's okay. I just want to share with you more solutions, things that are helping me because there's so much talk about the mental load, the invisible load, the emotional load. There's. I mean, so much. I was even reading an article about it, and I truly cannot believe. I mean, I can believe it, but it shocked the freaking crap out of me that this article didn't mention one thing about. About our mindsets, our self talk. Everything that it mentioned in Helping Women came from someone else. All right, Delegate your tasks onto someone else. And yes, that is helpful, and that is something that we should be doing. But it also matters if we are stressing ourselves out with our thoughts. It also matters if we are belittling and degrading ourselves every day with our self talk. And we never give ourselves an ounce of praise. And we think that that praise has to come from someone else. That matters because we need it. We need positive self talk. We need to know our own self worth. We need that praise, and we can do that for ourselves and we can invite other people to do it for us more when we lead with that language. So I. I don't know. First podcast episode back, I feel like I gave it to you. And the best I know how, those four things that really helped me with my mental load of motherhood. I understand that this is a very honestly sensitive topic. And when I sat down record it, I was like, can I bail? Can I just say I changed my mind, I'm not gonna do it. But, you know, that's not who I am. I do the things I say I'm gonna do, and even when it feels scary and uncomfortable to do it, I'm at least gonna try. And I'm. I'm okay with taking messy action. I'm okay with failing forward. I'm okay with trying and learning. So I do hope that this podcast episode served you. I hope that out of these four things for you to implement at least one was helpful. And I hope you know that this is just my honest perspective that the mental load of motherhood is real and we all are experiencing it. And I just hope to be a voice of solution rather than the person that emphasizes problems. I want us to help each other. I really do. And you have valuable perspectives and insights and solutions within you that I hope you work up the courage to share too. I hope you share with others. You know on your Instagram story that you were struggling with the mental load of motherhood and then you started implementing XYZ and it really, really helped you and you're feeling a lot better. I hope we can have more of that narrative around motherhood. Right? Looking at the problem that we're having a hard time with and then sharing the solution that we came up with or found, that helps us. I truly believe we need more of that and that's what I'm trying to do. So call it messy, call it failing forward, call it whatever. I am trying and I'm proud of myself for trying. And I'm really grateful that you're here. So next up, we are actually going to talk about another difficult topic because I said I was going to default parent. Um, I'm going to talk about that on the next episode with you guys. So I appreciate you tremendously. I hope this podcast episode served you and I will talk to you real soon. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, don't to forget, forget to subscribe and share it. I love spreading the message of how positivity can come in so beautifully to help you through your journey of self discovery and healing. I'm cheering for you. I believe in you and I'll talk to you really soon.