33. Hurt People, Hurt People

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to the Mind Body Alignment podcast. I'm your host, Tessa Romero, and also your coach. I'm here to teach you powerful skills and tools to not only know who you are, but how to become exactly who you want to be with a mindset that finally supports you. I'm so grateful that you're here. Let's get started. Well, hello there, my sweet friends. I am battling a bit of a cold, so bear with me here. But this message is super important, which is why it's in a podcast. And. And that is hurt people. Hurt people. As we go into the holiday season, I know so many women because I'm getting messages on Instagram talking about it, but I know so many women are struggling with the idea of being around some of their family members. Like, being around people that they've had a lot of issues with throughout their entire life, and the family gatherings and the expectations and the travel. And obviously, mindset plays huge into all of that, especially, like, travel things and things with your kids and things with your spouse. Like, there's a ton of mindset in there, and part of that mindset is hurt people. Hurt people. Now, when you can get your mind to the place of understanding, like, if someone is hurting you, imagine how they're hurting themselves when you can get yourself to that place. It's freaking hard to get there, by the way. Like, if it feels like I don't want to go there, I don't blame you. I freaking get it. I didn't want to go there for a really long time, but it saved my emotional wellness so much when I allowed myself to go there. It takes a ton of vulnerability to get there. It can feel very uncomfortable. So if it doesn't feel as easy as I'm saying, know that. I know that. Like, I. I get that. And I'm only sharing this with you to truly help you. So with hurt people. Hurt people. And this holiday season, like, you're around people that have hurt you in the past, I just want to encourage you to view all of your circumstances through a lens of empathy. Being able to see other people for the. For who they're being, right? Not just, like, what they're doing, but how. How do they view themselves? Who do they think they are? What have they been through? Why are they doing what they're doing? Get really curious about this person, and you will very quickly discover, oh, my gosh, this person doesn't really like themselves. If this is how they're talking to me, I wonder how they talk to themselves. Like this is. That's what people do. They project how they feel on the inside. They project that outward, and then they'll blame it on something else. Because there's victim mentalities. And remember, there's three signs to victim mentality. Blame, complain, and justify. So if you were on my victim mentality workshop, you know that. But when it comes to hurt people, hurting people, I'm not trying to build this perspective in you that views you as better than other people. That's not at all what this is. It's not, oh, you're hurting, so you're just a bad person. No. And it's not, oh my gosh, I can see that you're hurting. So I'm better than you. That's not it either. Hurt people, hurt people allows you to get closer to the people around you that you're already around without sacrificing yourself, without it feeling like, oh, I just have to be around you and I'm angry around you and I feel un. Upset around you and judged around you. Instead of allowing the way that you feel to drastically come downward and then you feel really poorly, instead of allowing that to happen, you're viewing other people with empathy so you can better control the way you feel around them instead of giving them the power to decide how you feel. An example might be going around your in laws or your family, whatever, and being around a sister in law or your real sister or a cousin, just someone that maybe you've had some tension with in the past. And you're like, every time I'm around this person, I cringe. My, my blood boils. I just, I hate it. It's so tense. And you have to remember, like, no one can make you feel that way. No one makes you do that. What happens is you think a certain way about this person and now you're creating your own feelings. And again, that's a freaking crappy lesson to learn. It just is. It sucks to learn it. It feels painful. I probably just triggered you. Like, if someone would have told me that, like, Tessa, you're responsible for the way you feel and you create your own feelings. If someone would have told me that six years ago, I probably would have never talked to that person again and wanted to punch them in the face 100%. Like, that's just where I was. And, and I have to accept that. And you're gonna have to accept where you're at. And if you're feeling really triggered, it's not because you don't control you. Right. It's because it Feels painful to know that we've created so much of our own hurt and we have held onto this hurt and really just cut off the idea of us having the ability to heal and we put that on someone else. Like it's someone else's responsibility to. To fix me, to heal me. And that sucks because for me, I did that for 12 years. So when I finally figured out, oh my gosh, I'm the one carrying this anger, I'm the one that feels angry. I'm the one creating the anger because I am closed off to a new perspective. When I finally realized that, I honestly felt angry with myself. And then I laughed. I laughed because I was like, oh my gosh, I'm doing it right now. I am creating my own anger right this second. And it was such a life changing moment for me. And it's okay if you're not there yet. It doesn't make it any less true. But you can have grace for yourself and meet yourself right where you're at and just be open to the idea that you can help yourself feel better. Right? If you can stir up anger inside of you, you can also create gratitude and you can lead with love and compassion. And that's why this mindset of hurt people, hurt people and is so freaking valuable, because it creates new feelings inside of you. Having a mindset that says hurt people, hurt people does not fix other people. It doesn't change what they think about themselves. It doesn't change who they decide to be. And that's where I used to get really caught up. Like, if I view these people with empathy, then they're not going to learn their lessons. They're not going to know how badly they've hurt me. They're going to just live their life the way that they want to think that they're this awesome person and they're not. And I would get so caught up on their. So I'm like, I'm not gonna be there with empathy. Cause they need to know how terrible it is, the things that they've done. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what I think about somebody. It matters what they think about themselves. And I can think someone is amazing. And I have done this, I have thought people are amazing. And then they don't see that in themselves. So no matter what I do, I can't make someone love themselves. And no matter what I do, I can't make someone hate themselves. So hurt people are the ones going around hurting you, right? Happy, energetic, healed, joyful, grateful, loving people that are just you know, they love themselves, they love their life, they're so grateful, they work hard each day, they have a vision that they're going after in their life. They are not the people walking around hurting people. They're just not. And if they do by chance, you know, offend someone or hurt someone, they are, they are the people willing to self reflect, take total ownership, own up to what they did right with that person, having a vulnerable conversation to right their wrongs to the best of their ability. So it's not that they're perfect people, it's just that they are people willing to self reflect. Now hurt people, hurting people are not always willing to self reflect or when they do, it's ridden with shame and that is not creating positive change. So when you have this new mentality of hurt people, hurt people, you're going to walk into these family events over the holiday and you're just going to observe. You're going to give yourself the opportunity to observe the people around you for who they are choosing to be and what they are choosing to do. Just like you make a choice, you make a choice when you walk in that door. Who are you choosing to be and what are you choosing to do? Are you choosing to be closed off to people? Are you choosing to be aggressive, intense? Are you, I mean, who are you choosing to be? Like short and snappy and irritable and then you are treating other people around you that way? I'm not saying you're doing that because you're a bad person. I'm saying you're doing it because you're the hurt person. You're the hurt person hurting people. I've been the hurt person hurting people and there are still times today that I do it but catching myself with compassion. Oh my gosh, I am totally being the hurt person hurting people right now. What's going on with me? Why am I doing this? Where is this hurt coming from? How can I take one step towards healing instead of perpetuating the anger and the hurt, when I can do that with myself, I instantly improve because I'm willing to self reflect, I'm willing to catch myself. I'm willing to do that hard work to be vulnerable and improve. But not everyone's willing to do that. So I know how difficult it can feel. And part of you is saying like, they're older than me, they should be the ones apologizing, they should be the ones fixing this, they should be the ones working on themselves, blah, blah, blah. And you know what? No, no, that's not true. That's not accurate. People change when they want to change. And they can be far younger than you doing this good work. And they can be far older than you doing this good work. It has nothing to do with age. It really has nothing to do with age. But you, leading by example, serves everyone around you, and you get to be that example. You get to show your kids what it looks like to have vulnerable conversations. So when you feel hurt, you can actually teach these incredible lifelong skills to your kids because you're modeling it. And we are always modeling to our kids. We're modeling positive behaviors or modeling negative behaviors. We are. We're teaching them skills and tools. Even if we don't think that this is a teaching moment, they are learning from us. So when you walk in that into the house, right, knowing this specific person is going to be there, first of all, you're making the choice to be there. You are not the victim of these circumstances. You're choosing to go. And you can choose not to go because you are empowered. But if you choose to go, model the behavior that you want your kids to see. How can you be vulnerable? How can you have a vulnerable conversation with the people that have hurt you? Would you rather your kids walk into your home feeling angry at you? When they're adults, right? They feel angry at you. They come in there and they're being short with you and rude and. And irritable. Like, do you want that? Or would you rather, now, right now, teach them what it looks like to have vulnerable conversations, even when it feels scary, even when it feels hard to have them. I personally would much rather my kids feel safe and capable of coming up to me and letting me know when they feel hurt and doing that with anybody. Because that's who I want my kids to be as people, and that's who I want to be as a person. So again, hurt people. Hurt people. Sometimes you're the hurt person hurting people, and other times other people are the hurt people hurting you. It doesn't make it right, but it helps you better control the way you feel so that you're not being drugged down your entire holiday season by the hurt people. You don't need that. You don't want that. That's not. Honestly, that's not fair to you. What is fair to you is to observe what other people are going through and have empathy for them, because you know what it's like to go through something hard. Is it okay what they're doing? No. But is shaming them going to make them stop? Is shaming Them going to make them better people is shaming them, going to further them on their healing journey. No. Love can, vulnerability can, connection can, empathy can. But all this, like aggression and negativity is not going to be what, what helps them find the changes that you want to see in them. So hurt people. Hurt people. You walk into that house and you know, there's, there's judgmental comments, there's people rolling their eyes, there's tension, there's the clicks, there's the awkward past experiences that have really affected you that nobody wants to talk about and you're the one still thinking about it and, and you don't know what to do next. Like everyone is hurting to some extent and that's where all of those projections come from, is our hurt. So if you can go in there and allow yourself to observe, observe people without judgment. Of course she's drinking again. Maybe your aunt is drinking to numb. Maybe she needs to numb the way that she feels because she does not have the skills and tools to have vulnerable conversations. She, she doesn't know how to talk about her hurt. She feels the same way that you do and she's trying to numb it and escape it with alcohol. Does it make it right? No. But now you have some understanding. Do you feel as angry or do you feel a little bit more empathy for her? And like, man, I really want to be kind to my aunt so she can see how worthy and valuable and wonderful she is and not make these choices, but that are, you know, maybe even ruining her life. I, I got to speak with a woman yesterday and this story is relevant. Her parents are functioning alcoholics. During the day they are wonderful people. She was telling me she loves being around them, but come five o' clock, they turn into monsters is what she said. And they drink and she doesn't want to be around them. And she's tried everything. She told me she tried everything. She has given them, like, hard boundaries. She told him she's not going to talk to them for three months if she, if they keep drinking, they're not going to be around her kids. They, she's never going to come over to their house again. Like, she's tried all the threats and it doesn't work and they continue drinking. So we had this conversation and I gave her a new perspective. Not because she's wrong, but because I can see how badly she's hurting. And all these extremes that she's trying has just been a way to try and communicate this pain, this hurt and get them to change because she thought you know, if I give them an extreme enough consequence, then they'll stop. Which is not true. Because these people are already struggling with shame. They're already struggling with their pain, and that's why they're drinking. So in their minds, all these consequences are being thrown at them. And they're probably thinking something like, I'm just guessing, but to me, this makes sense. They're probably thinking something like, of course we're such awful parents. Our own daughter doesn't even want to talk to us. We're such terrible people. We don't even get to see our own grandkids. We've really screwed up in life. There's no coming back from this. We're way too far gone. And when people have thoughts like that, what do you think they're going to do? More of? Drink. They're going to drink alcohol some more. They're going to numb some more. Maybe it's not alcohol. Maybe it's other drugs. Maybe it's your phone. Maybe it's abusive behavior. Food, like you can sex, you can literally numb with anything. And we all have something that we like to numb with. And for a lot of us, it's our phones. Something feels uncomfortable. We're feeling emotional. We want to like, where's our phone? Where's our phone? Where's our phone? And we don't have to do that. But when she's giving her parents these ultimatums and then she's feeling more hurt that they didn't stop drinking. Where they're at right now, drinking is what they think they can do. Drinking is what they know how to do. And shaming them about the drinking is not going to help them overcome it. Overcome the numbing behaviors. Right? And calling them alcoholics is not going to help them overcome the numbing behaviors. They are battling an addiction of alcohol, but the person themselves is still a good person. Remember, with identity, I've told you guys, like, don't tell people that they are someone that you don't want them to be. Don't call them an alcoholic. They're going to continue identifying as an alcoholic. You know what they're going to keep doing? Drinking. So who is this person really, that's battling this addiction with alcohol? Who is this person really that's trying to numb their pain away because they don't know what to do with it. And anyway, so I have this conversation with her and I share this new perspective, and she's like, you're so right. I can totally see that. And she felt a lot better because of this New perspective. Because that's what perspectives do. When you allow yourself access to a new perspective, you are allowing yourself access to new feelings. Feelings you are not going to heal and feel better with the same perspective that's hurt you for the last 12 years, 20 years, five years, one year, whatever amount of time. That one perspective is not going to create new vibrant feelings of what you're looking for and new solutions. My parents will never change. Okay, that limited perspective is not giving you solutions to see how they actually can change. Because yes, they can change. But shaming them, hating them and all the anger is not going to get us there. So then I shared with her, you know what would feel really good for you is not trying to control your parents. We do not control other people. You walk into the home for the family gathering, you don't control other people. You can set your boundaries, totally set your boundaries. But what are you going to do when someone breaks them? What are you going to do when they cross them? Oh, I'm just never going to see them again. Okay, that's fine. I'm not judging you. But if you don't feel like that's sustainable to never see them again, then we have to release this idea of controlling other people and set boundaries with ourselves. Set the boundary with yourself. Because then you're the only person relying on keeping that boundary and respecting it. You don't need to control other people because you know full well that you're going to control yourself. Set boundaries with yourself. So anyway, what I had expressed to the girl that I got to talk to yesterday was having a vulnerable conversation with her parents because she made it very clear she loves her parents. She loves to be around them during the day. It's in the evening that she doesn't want to be around them. And that's her personal boundary to hold. It's not their boundary to respect. I mean, it's nice if they do, right? But we don't control them. We don't control them. So it's her boundary to keep to not go over there past five o', clock, right? To not accept the dinner invitation. That is her boundary to keep. And anyway, so she made it very clear that she wants to continue a relationship with them. She wants them involved in her life and her kids life. And she just wishes that they would stop drinking in the evenings. And then we had the talk about like numbing why they're drinking in the evenings and the shame and the anger is not helping them to know their own self worth and change these behaviors. Not that it's our job. It's not our job to make people. I'm using air quotes. Make people know their own self worth. It's not our job to do that. It's not my job to do that for anybody. But I know that if I can help someone see a new perspective of themselves that they have not been able to find, they are more likely to heal and become the type of person that I want to see them be. But we have to first accept people for who they choose to be right now and love them through this journey that they're on. Because we're all hurt. We are all hurting in one way or another and we just show it in different ways. And it's gonna be a lot easier for everyone to heal collectively if we start being really vulnerable. Starting with us, not starting with them, starting with you. If you're listening to this, then you are by default more capable, equipped and responsible to make these changes. That's just the way it works. You, you, you decide to pursue a healing journey, by default you are more responsible. You can hold yourself more accountable because you know more. You are, you're learning more. And I've had, again, these are hard lessons, hard truths. I've had to accept them too. And there are times that they freaking suck. And it feels really annoying that it's, of course it's on me, blah blah blah. But really I'm the more empowered one. I'm the one that knows I can create feelings of joy and gratitude and love and, and I can be proud of who I am no matter the circumstances. Not everyone knows that. So as difficult as it can feel to practice these things during difficult circumstances, I at least know how to help myself, whereas other people may not. And then they're reaching for their numbing, they're reaching for their phone, they're reaching for alcohol, they're starting fights, they're addicted to stress and all of that. So I let her know that the vulnerable conversation can help her start her healing journey and be a new side for her parents to see in her that can help them see their own self worth without it feeling like our job to do it. So I gave her an example of something she could say with her mom. And maybe you'll find inspiration in this too. Like maybe this is a type of conversation that you would like to have with someone at a family gathering that is coming up this holiday season. And it has nothing to do with the other person saying sorry to you and fixing things and owning their wrongs, right? Like it has nothing to do with that. It is you. It's about you. It's your total ownership. Because again, you are not a victim. You are so freaking empowered. You've been victimized in your life, and I am not like saying that you haven't been. I know you've been hurt. That's why you're listening to this. So I know that we've been hurt. We've been victimized, but we are not victims. We are so. So empowered, so capable, so worthy, so strong to be who we want to be, no matter the circumstances. We get to do that. We have that right. And I'm encouraging you to do that. So I told her that the next time she sees your mom, she can do this in person or over the phone. I think it'd be better done in person. It stirs up a lot more vulnerability. And just emotionally, you can feel people better in person. So she can feel that, like, genuine. That genuine energy coming from you. So something like it doesn't have to be exactly like this. Letting her know or him, whoever you want to talk to. I've been working a lot on myself lately. I've been working on myself a lot lately, and I've come to. To realize and fully understand that I have not been who I want to be around you when you're drinking. And I'm sorry. I am sorry that I was not who I want to be for you when you're drinking. I know you do not drink to upset me. I believe that you drink because you're hurting. And I want to be more supportive of your healing journey as you go through all of this hurt because. Because I cannot imagine how badly this is affecting you. So I want you to know that I love you and I support you, and I'm going to work really hard on being who I want to be for you, even when you're drinking. And that's it. It's not about this person saying sorry, but that's extremely vulnerable. It's vulnerable to say, hey, I'm not being who I want to be. Yeah, I know you're drinking, and I know that I really don't freaking like it when you drink, but. But I don't control that part. But I am fully responsible for who I am and what I choose to do and what I choose to say to you and how I show up around you and what I've been doing in the past does not align with who I want to be. All of that is so vulnerable. It's total ownership. And you may be thinking, there's no Freaking way I will ever say that to my parents that are, you know, battling their addiction with alcohol. There's no freaking way I'll ever say that to them. That's fine. You don't ever have to. But you get to if you want to. You get to say vulnerable things. You get to take total ownership. You get to lead by example and model the behaviors that you want to see in others. You get to separate people with who they are and what they're battling. Maybe you are not going to be the person that calls them an alcoholic when they say, well, I'm just an alcoholic. Maybe you're going to be the light in their life that says, no, you're not. You're battling your addiction with alcohol because you use it to numb the way you feel. And you've been through a lot and that's valid. There are other ways to pursue healing when you're ready, and I would love to support you in doing so. But you are not an alcoholic. Helping them learn the difference, because now you know there is one. How are we going to help people learn the difference if we didn't even know there was one in the first place? I am anxious. I am depressed. I am angry. No, you're battling the anxiety. You're battling the depression. You have a feeling of anger. Feelings are messengers. They are here to teach you something. They are so valuable, even your anger. And when you allow your feelings to give you a message, you can learn from it. You can change something. You can help yourself. But when you identify as the feeling, well, now anger's in the driver's seat. And anger gets to decide what you do next. You're probably yelling. Maybe we're hitting, maybe we're lashing out. Maybe we're shutting down. And that does not align with who you want to be. So then we're in this cycle and feeling like we don't even know which way is up anymore because we have allowed our feelings to be the leaders instead of the valuable messengers. You can feel your feelings and be who you want to be. And you can lead by example to show other people how to do it. So again, I'm not saying this is easy work to be done, but I am hoping that this idea of hurt people, hurt people, and approaching all of your circumstances and the father, the family gatherings that you're going to this holiday season with sincere empathy and honestly, fear, self compassion too. Maybe you're the person that you're not proud of the way that you were. Have self compassion. You did the best you could you're still doing the best you can and it's amazing that you want to take steps in the direction to improve, to align yourself with who you want to be. You are phenomenal. You are an incredible human and you are leading by example. It is so much more powerful for people to see you last year, maybe you were angry, lashing out, shutting down, drinking too much, whatever it was, whatever you did last year compared to who you choose to be this year, that is so much more impactful for them. It really is. Because if you've just always been the happy, go lucky, easygoing, light hearted one that's never struggled with any of these things and that's how you show up this year too. Like the people that are hurting are not going to find honestly inspiration in you. And it's not a bad thing if you've never been through hard things. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But you can start using your hardship to your advantage because it's made you so much more wise in life and you have so much experience to share with other people and you can go to someone that you see doing the same things that you did last year and let them know, I get it, I get it. That's exactly what I did last year. And having those types of conversations is, honestly, it's so fulfilling in life. Vulnerable conversations, no more of the superficial, oh, how's this? How's that? You know, the weather work? Let's have more meaningful conversations talking about who we're becoming as people, what inspires us, what's driving us, what we appreciate about the person that we're talking to, seeing them as the people that they really are, not just the hardship that they're going through. So yes, hurt people, hurt people. And you can be the healed person healing people. I fully believe that I used to be the hurt person hurting people and now I am the healed person healing people. Does that mean I never get hurt? No, that's not what that means. I still feel hurt, but I turn it into healing and I use it to heal more. You can be the hurt person hurting people or the healed person healing people. But. But that's your choice. And decide right now. Who are you going to be this holiday season? Who are you going to be going into the new year? The hurt person hurting people or the healed person healing people? Are you going to allow yourself access to new perspectives and new feelings that maybe you haven't had in a really long time, but you just desperately want to experience them? You get to allow your access to that. Nobody else can keep you from feeling those joyful feelings. Nobody else can keep you from accessing a new perspective. Only you. You can definitely keep yourself from those things, and I have too. But we have to understand that we're the only people doing it to ourselves. And when you look around, everyone's doing it until we start leading by example and being the healed people, Healing people, setting new examples, leading, like modeling the behaviors that we want to see in others. Leading for our children to learn how to communicate when they feel hurt, what it looks like to have a vulnerable conversation, what it looks like to set and respect your own boundaries. All of that is so valuable for our kids to learn. And you are the best person to teach it to them just by modeling it. Honestly, it's great if you're not there yet, because there will come a time when your kids are not there yet and. And you can let them know. I know what that's like. I know what it's like to feel like. It feels so true that other people make me mad. I know what that's like. I know what it's like to say and fully believe that. You make me yell. You make me ignore you. You make me punch the wall. I know what that's like, but it is not true. That's a hurtful thought. And we do not feel empowered when we have those thoughts. So it's our job to tell our brain, hey, we are no longer putting us down. This is the new way that we're gonna think. And that's why I believe in journaling so much, because you are finally sitting down, slowing your mind down enough to let it know this is the new way that we think. And you do it daily. Because there are so many freaking negative influences in this world that we need to constantly remind ourselves and ground ourselves and anchor our mind in the truth. I control me. I decide who I am. I get to decide how I handle this circumstance. Do I control the circumstance itself? No. But I control who I am in the circumstance. And that's extremely empowering. So every single day, you sit down at your journal and you remind yourself who you are and what you do and the way that you think and you just recondition your mind. I love it. And I have my full journaling course available to you. If you need help learning how to do that, I. I have my course for you. Every Monday, I send you a coaching email included in that one time payment, that one time purchase of the alignment journaling course. I will send you an email every morning to Keep your mind right. And once a month we have a live coaching session together with the whole community of the alignment journaling course. So it's so valuable to connect with other like minded women and keep your mind in a positive place of empowerment. It's not even about positivity, it's literally about empowerment. I'm going to start saying it's the empowered mindset, not the positive mindset. This is the empowered mindset. But anyway, I just want to remind you guys also that Mind Body alignment, my full 12 week coaching program where I coach you through identity, your past experiences, where all this anger and resentment and shame is coming from. I love coaching through things like that because I believe it's the most sustainable and effective way to become who you want to be. This is not a quick fix. This is not fake it till you make it. It's true. It's healing. True healing, True shifts in perspective, true creation of new emotions for you to experience. You're no longer relying on motivation to get you there or anything like that. I have a solid roadmap for you to follow. It's 12 weeks long. You work with me and this vulnerable community of women where we all open up and share our stories and connect. And it's amazing to just watch other women transform over the 12 weeks as well, because when you hear other people's stories, you become invested in that person and people become invested in you and your healing and your progress. So it's such an empowering form of accountability as well. It's not just, oh my gosh, they're expecting me to show up. No, it's like these people are like truly invested in my story and who I'm being and what I said I want for myself. They're invested in seeing me become that. It's truly amazing. And as we talk together every week for the 12 weeks, you see people change and you see how proud they become of themselves for the way that they had a vulnerable conversation with their spouse or they are leading the behaviors that they want to see in their children and they're making the changes that they want to see in themselves. Like, it's so incredible and I feel so honored and so grateful that I get to be in this position of creating the course that serves you, but having a front row seat to your healing journey. It is. It is. I don't even have honestly the words to explain what it is for me yet, but anyway, that enrollment, if you have my journaling course, you get early enrollment December 1st to the 10th. If you do not have the journaling course. Don't worry, you get open enrollment December 11th through the 21st. Um, so yeah, that's kind of what I have coming. New Year's coaching, coming up, enrollments in December. And if you were lucky enough to snag a spot for my first retreat, revive. It's a three day retreat in St. George, Utah. It's honestly going to be an incredible experience. Then yeah, we are going to be doing that together February 23rd through the 26th and it is a part of Mind Body alignment, my full 12 week course. So if you got a spot at the retreat, then you also have access to my full 12 week course to work with me for 12 weeks and then we meet together at week 8. 8. If you're like feeling really bummed that you missed out on enrolling in the retreat, just know I'm gonna do another one. My goal is twice a year to run Mind Body alignment, my full 12 week course, and have a retreat in alignment with where we're at in the. In the program. So we will do one more retreat next year. So anyway, friends, so many good things. Just remember that hurt people, hurt people. Sometimes you're the hurt person hurting people and other times the person hurting you is the hurt person hurting people in leading with fierce self compassion and having generous empathy for others saves you. You're never going to control how other people feel about themselves anyway, but you can always control what you think about them. Are you going to think, oh, I hate this person, they're so terrible. Or are you going to think, wow, they are really hurting? One of them you feel very angry, the other one you feel very empathetic and generous towards this person. And that's personally how I would rather feel about people. So I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. I'll try to keep up on the podcast more, but you're doing a great job and I'm very proud of you. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, don't forget to subscribe and share it. I love spreading the message of how positivity can come in so much beautifully to help you through your journey of self discovery and healing. I'm cheering for you. I believe in you and I'll talk to you really soon.