40. You and Your Advisory Board! Talk with your feelings and then make your own choices.

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to the Mind Body Alignment Podcast. I'm your host, Tessa Romero, and also your coach. I'm here to teach you powerful skills and tools to not only know who you are, but how to become exactly who you want to be with a mindset that finally supports you. I'm so grateful that you're here. Let's get started. Can you believe how consistent we have been this month? I am just so proud of me. Proud of you? Look at us freaking go. I told you that I have a big goal this year to consistently pour into the pot podcast. And honestly, posting a few episodes in a row, I am already so proud of myself. Like, I know we have however many more weeks, like 50 more weeks in the year, a little less than that, whatever, to go. But I'm just looking at my efforts so far and I know, like, if I can do it for three weeks, I can do it for 50 more. And I hope that you can have the same perspective going into your year with the goals that you've set for yourself and the intentions and your efforts and your truly what you want to be able to accomplish this year. Just know, if you can do it one day, you can do it another day. If you can do it one time, you can do it another time. So before we dive into this whole episode, I just wanted to encourage you that no matter really what you're going for this year and what goals you're setting for yourself and what changes you want to see in yourself, it's okay if it looks messy. If you look at this month and how I've posted the episodes, they've been on different days. Ideally, I would love to post every Wednesday, but I've also been posting on Friday, Thursday, there's been a Wednesday, and here's another Thursday. And I truly believe that I'm doing the best I can. And I'm just proud of myself for showing up. And I hope that, as I share that vulnerably with you, that it's okay, that it isn't perfect, and that my efforts matter more than the outcome itself. I hope that encourages you to keep on going, whatever it is that you're after, because I know you can do it, just like I can do it. But this episode is building off of last week's episode. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode, I highly encourage you to do that first so that this one can hit even deeper into your heart and your feelings and your mind to get it all working together. But brief little summary of last week. Last week, we talked about how your feelings are messengers, not leaders. And that basically just means that a feeling can come and it can deliver its message to you, and then you can decide what you do with that message, with that information, what choices you make next. And that's what keeps you empowered. Because even if you feel resentful, you get to choose what you do. Do you choose to communicate differently? To get vulnerable and soft and open up so that you can see the changes that you want to see? Or do you choose to armor up and get short and snappy and sarcastic, maybe like towards your spouse or something, when you're feeling resentful and then disconnect yourself from who you want to be and the relationship that you want to have? That's the choice. The feeling is there just to deliver a message. And the messages themselves are so valuable, they are so valuable when you're willing to listen that it's fueling your wisdom. It's getting you in connection with your intuition. That's what your feelings are doing for you. They're giving you golden nuggets of wisdom, connecting you with your intuition and helping you become who you want to be. Even if the feeling is. Does not feel pleasant to experience, like sadness, when we feel sad, when we feel angry, when we feel resentful, when we feel judgmental, when we feel insecure. It doesn't always feel great to feel guilty, right? Those feelings, we wouldn't say, like, oh my gosh, it feels so good to feel guilty. No, it doesn't have to feel good to experience the feeling. That's not really what we're concerned about. We're concerned about truly feeling it. Maybe guilt is not meant to feel good for a reason, right? Maybe guilt is meant to feel the exact way that it feels to show you, hey, you're out of alignment with who you want to be. And if I don't get your attention right now, this could get a lot worse. So here, here's the feeling of guilt. Let's get this red flag going. This alarm system going to let us know that we are stepping out of alignment with who we want to be, and. And we need to start making some different choices. What if you just viewed the feeling of guilt as that. That there's something here that I'd like to change? That's what guilt's here to tell me. There's something here that I don't love, that I'm doing. No one's making me feel this way. I've done a whole episode on that too. No one makes you. No one makes you feel guilty. If you feel guilty, it's because of what you think about the circumstances, what you think about the situation that you find yourself in, what you think about yourself. If you're really, truly proud of what you're doing and how you're doing it, the feeling of guilt is not going to be there. It's just not going to, because your thoughts are not creating that feeling. Your circumstances do not create feelings. Your thoughts about the circumstance create the feelings. Other people in your life do not create your feelings. No one outside of you has the power to control within you. You have that power, and I'm highly encouraging you to stop giving it away. No one takes it. You give it away, and we don't have to be giving it away. And I'm telling you this from personal experience. I have worked against my feelings for the majority of my life. And now that I'm in what I would call a healthy relationship with my feelings, it's like my whole life is different. And I still have the feelings. I still have the feeling of resentment, the feeling of anger, the feeling of hurt, the feeling of jealousy and insecurity. I still get those feelings, but I use them as messengers in my life. So listen to last week's episode to really help you with the messages over leadership. So that way you can get the kind of. The roles, right of the feeling is the messenger. I am the leader. Those are the roles in the relationship. And this week, what we're really talking about is being able to use this one helpful skill to help you through your feelings. Just that way, they don't become leaders. Your feelings become leaders. When you shut down, when you give up your role of leadership, your feeling takes over. And that's when we give our feeling the opportunity to get so defensive, right? To shut down, to paralyze us because we didn't remain the leader. What we did was we identified with the feeling. I am angry, and now anger became the leader. I'm. You decided, you know, I'm done at the driver. I'm done at the driver's seat. I'm done at this control panel. I'm gonna let anger take the wheel. What's anger gonna do? Have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? Have you ever seen that movie Inside Out? It has the emotions, and anger's the red guy that, like, fire comes out of his head. I just imagine now at the dinner table, the dad is talking with the daughter, and the dad says, you know, like, go to your room. Or that's enough or something. And the daughter's anger is now at the control panel in her mind. And he says, like, oh, you think this, Watch out, Bob. And he, like, takes the control and he flares them all the way up and there's fire going out of his head. And then the girl, the little girl has this really snappy remark towards her parents. And then that's when the dad was like, that's it, go to your room. But the. The daughter lashed out a little bit. I mean, it wasn't nearly as bad as what I did as a kid. So, like, kudos to her, man. But my point is, like, she still acted in the anger because anger was at the control panel, in the mind. And what I like, I love those. I love the visuals that that movie provided us. But I feel like what's missing from that is our ability to just accept the feeling as a messenger. It's just a message. Feelings are vibrations. There's nothing to fear in them. They're here to tell us something. Even when you feel fearful of something, that is a very good indicator, a very good message to help keep you safe. Like your body wants you to stay safe. And when we feel anxious about something, well, we want to keep the things that we love safe. When we feel jealous of something, well, I want this for my life. Maybe it's just insight, like becoming insightful to what you really want in your life, what you really want to go after. It has nothing to do with the other person. It's that, you know that that's something you could accomplish too. And we start to have these feelings inside of us that are trying so hard to deliver helpful message, helpful messages. But when we're not willing to listen to the message, it's easy to just shut down, get defensive and ignore the message itself and just act on the feeling. And we don't have to do that. We don't have to do that. So what I'm going to teach you to do today is to talk to your feelings. Imagine if in the movie Inside out, there I'm spacing the little girl's name. Let's just call her Ally. Let's imagine that Ally, the little girl in the movie Inside out with the emotions in her mind that are at the control panel. Let's imagine that instead of the emotions being at the control panel and Allie was at the control panel, who she believes she is, the I am statement, whoever she believes she is, that's how she carried herself at the control panel. So let's imagine that Ally identifies as competent she identifies as active, friendly, and willing or accepting, like something. Something like that. So let's imagine that's how Ally views who she is. And then she has her feelings of disgust and anger, fear, joy, and sadness. Those were the five. Five emotions in her mind. And Ally gets to sit at the control panel, and all of her five emotions that are in the movie get their spot. They get their spot. And they have their turns to say their opinion to deliver a message to her. Like, fear can say, I don't think this is going to work. I think we should abort the mission. And Ally gets to peacefully sit there, remember who she is. I am confident, I am active, I am friendly, I am secure. I am accepting, I'm willing, like, whoever it is that she wants to be. And she accepts the message that fear has to say. And fear is saying, I don't think this is work. I think we should have worked. We shouldn't do this. And she goes, okay, fear, I feel you. I hear your message. I see that you're here. Why? Why do you think this is not going to work? And fear's gonna say something like, well, because we've never done it before. We've never done it before, so we don't have any evidence that this would work. And fear's like, you know, losing it. And Allie stays calm at the control panel, and she's like, yeah, you're right. You're so right. We don't have any evidence that we will. That we can do this because we've never done it before. We don't have any evidence that it will be successful because we've never done it before. That's a super valid point. Fear. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. However, I also know that because we don't have any evidence that this could be successful, we also don't have any evidence that this would fail. We don't have any evidence that our life would be better not making this choice. And I believe that there's good here. I believe that there's something for me to learn. This is something that I really care about and I am passionate about, and I want to do it. I want to see what happens next. And I'm willing to do this while feeling afraid. I'm willing to make this choice for myself and feel scared doing it because Ally knows who she is. So I want you to put yourself in this position. Put yourself at the control panel. I've talked to you guys about identity over and over and over and over and over. And I'm never gonna Stop. I'm never going to stop talking to you about your identity. And as a coach, I coach women all over the world through their identity. I'm working on my own identity too. I'm working on my identity as a, as a creator and a business owner. And those are two areas right now that I, I really need to get clear on who I am so that I can show up as who I want to be in that role. Even when my feelings of insecurity and self doubt and fear come in and they have messages to share with me. I'm, I'm so done personally with allowing those messages to, to determine what I'm gonna do next. Like, I, I'm done with letting the, the message that insecurity has to tell me keep me from posting what I wanna post and creating the content, creating the courses that I wanna create. I know this is what I want. I know this is who I wanna be. But I haven't been owning that role in my life because it just, I had all these, I had honestly negative beliefs about it. Negative beliefs about being a business owner and what that meant as me as a mother. Like, it's interesting when you really start diving into what you believe about who you are and what you can and can't do, especially what you can do what you can and can't do really, really well. At the same time, it's just really interesting when you allow yourself to dive into that. So even as a coach, I'm working on it myself and that's how I create my content for you guys. This is how I create these episodes and my reels and the emails and my courses is because this is all something that I've worked through myself and I've gotten really okay with letting it be messy, with allowing myself to continue learning and growing, knowing that I'm never going to be done as the coach. Sometimes you get this thought in your mind, like, I should know this, I shouldn't struggle with this. I'm the coach. Coaches need coaches. Coaches need coaches need coaches. It's just never done. There's always someone that can help you, someone that can share something with you that you were missing before. And it's really hard to see the label from inside the bottle. Think about that. It's really hard to see the label from inside the bottle. How you're labeling yourself is very difficult for you alone to see because you're inside the bottle and the same thing for me. So again, I want you to imagine, let's go back to this exercise and visually Put yourself at the control panel. In your mind. If you've ever seen the movie inside out, you're at that control panel. If you haven't seen the movie inside out, just imagine, like, a NASA control panel in front of you to just, you know, get a rocket ship to space. Know there's some buttons and dials and levers and flashing lights, and there's all these things going on at the control panel. And instead of a certain feeling taking over and deciding and determining what we're gonna do, like it shows in the movie, this is where I feel like the movie's amazing at these visuals. But I really wish that Ally would have been the person at the control panel, and the messages could have been, like, the advisory board. The. I'm sorry, the feelings could have been the advisory board delivering their message, delivering their perspective. Fear could say, what about this? And Joy could say, oh, but don't forget this. And then Ally gets to say, you're right. You both have valid points. So imagine that you're the one at the control panel, and you have your whole advisory board of emotions ready to deliver the messages to you. But you are the empowered person making the choices. Your feelings are not making choices. But imagine that your advisory board feels heard, they feel seen, they feel recognized for the value that they have to share for who they are. Instead of battling you, arguing with you, trying to get your attention. Louder, louder, louder. Like you're trying to ignore the. The feeling of fear. Well, what's fear gonna do? It's gonna get louder. Oh, she must not have heard me. Hey, hey, can you hear me? And it gets louder and louder. And I tell my clients, this is another analogy for you. I always tell my clients this. Like, imagine that your toddler is standing right next to you. And you, if you have a jacket on or a shirt or whatever, and your toddler is standing next to you, saying, mom. And you don't acknowledge them. So they say, mom, Mom. And you don't acknowledge them. And you keep on in your conversation with someone else, like, going through your life doing whatever it is that you want to do, completely ignoring the toddler, what is going to happen? They are going to start yanking on you, pulling on you, screaming to get your attention, getting louder, getting more aggressive to get your attention. So if your feelings are like toddlers and now we're putting them at the control panel, you know, you get. You get control, anger. I've been ignoring you for so long. Have at it. Well, yeah, it makes sense. You're gonna freaking yell. You're gonna ignore, you're gonna shut down, you're gonna hit, you're gonna get very aggressive and violent. Because this feeling has not been heard, it has not been felt, it has not been recognized and validated. All feelings are meant to be felt. That's why they're called feelings. The thoughts that create the feelings are not all meant to be validated. Not all thoughts are true. Not all thoughts have solid foundation to even stand on. They're just there. They came from nothing. And they can go back to their nothingness, their native nothingness. But regardless, like our thoughts create feelings. And when we're not getting intentional and in control of what we're thinking, then we feel like the victim of our own feelings, the victim of our own thoughts. But you get to decide what you think about your circumstances and you get to decide what you think about your feelings. You get to decide what you're going to do when you feel a certain way. You are ally at the control panel and your feelings are the advisory board. So again, here's your exercise for today. You can get out a pen and piece of paper and write this out, or just try to visualize it in your mind with me right now, or do both, whatever. But this is what we're going to do for the exercise. I'm going to walk you through the exercise first and then you can get out a pen and piece of paper and try it on. Try it on paper. Pen to paper is so phenomenal, guys, because it forces your mind to slow down. You can only write so fast. So in order to get a whole sentence out on a piece of paper, your mind has to slow down. It cannot continue operating at this rapid fire speed of 60,000 thoughts a day. When we are consciously writing out one sentence and that one sentence takes us 20 seconds to write, it forces it to slow down. And that's why a lot of people don't like writing. Because their mind is not conditioned, it is not disciplined to slow the heck down and get very intentional. It's been operating in the default, the autopilot, just coasting, doing whatever the frick it wants to do. And now you're trying to discipline it. Yeah, it's going to feel hard. But anyway, for this exercise, visualize yourself, okay? Get a, get a clear picture of what you look like. And then I want you to imagine that you're in your mind. You're in your mind and the screen in front of you is whatever your eyes see. What you feel is whatever you're experiencing in your life, right? How the Temperature, the who's around you, the sensations. That's what you're feeling like physically with your body. And you're at that. You're just standing in your mind all by yourself. Okay, got the visual. Your eyes are closed with me. I'm literally closing my eyes. Take this with you. Your eyes are closed. You imagine you in your mind a little you standing there. Now a whole control panel pops up in front of you. Wow, look at that. Look at that. There's lights that go on and off, and there's buttons to push. And there's a keyboard right there. There's a keyboard right there. There's a little dial. There's a lever. There's something you can twist. And all of it is. Is available for you to tap into. You are welcome to push any of those buttons, move the dials, turn the knobs, close, close the thing that says do not push. Just go ahead and put the case right back over that button. So this whole. Imagine this whole control panel right in front of you, and you have full access to touching and doing whatever you want to do on this panel. Oh, look, there's reactions we can have. What buttons do I want to push over there? Maybe none. Wow. There's feelings I can experience. There's thoughts that I can determine. There's a whole keyboard for me to write something new that I've never thought before. This is amazing. I'm at this control panel. Just amazing. So imagine your own control panel right there, and you're the one standing behind this control panel. It's all right there, fully accessible just to you. Okay, so you're done looking at the control panel, and you gaze up, and there are. There are the chairs in front of you. However many chairs you need. Maybe the five chairs of the advisory board of feelings is just not enough for you. Okay, that's fine. Whatever chair you feel your feelings need in that room in your mind, we have plenty of space for them. So let's invite gratitude to come take a seat at the panel, the advisory board. Anger. Come on in. Anxiety. Fear. You're welcome here. Joy. Hello. I'm so glad you could make it. Silliness. Ah, man, you are. You are fun to have around. Love this. Resentment. Guilt. Oh, check, check. You're in the audience. Gotcha. Go ahead and come take a seat at the advisory board. I'm ready to listen to you really invite your feelings in to join you here. There's an abundance of chairs, an abundance of room, and all of your feelings are very, very quiet. Your mind is still Right now, you have room for everyone that has something to say to you, all of your feelings to come take a seat. And they're doing so quietly. There's no chatter. They don't. They don't want to talk to each other right now. They are just. They are locked in on you. How I hope you're locked in on me right now. And what this exercise we're doing, visualizing the same way your feelings are locked in on you. They're walking into your mind now, and they're taking their seat. Anger's there. Resentment's there. Jealousy. Hello. Come take your seat. You are in my advisory board. You're invited to be here. I have space for you. Come on in. What other feelings do you want in your advisory board? Abundance. She made it. She's there. So glad. Sadness. Come on in. Every single feeling, every feeling you ever have is welcome at your advisory board because they're messengers. Don't you want more messages in your life that could serve you, that could help you, that could lead you, guide you to being who you want to be, enhancing your intuition, getting you back into alignment with your body? We want these messages to come, and we're welcoming them now. So you are behind the control panel. And let's imagine that all of the feelings that you need to feel are now sitting in your advisory board, okay? And they're there. They're ready to deliver messages as needed. They're not all speaking up all at once. They're just taking their turns calmly, politely. They have great manners, okay? Great manners. Now imagine that there's a certain circumstance in your life that you've been trying to work through. And anger darts his hand up, and he says, no, this isn't right. This isn't fair. And you say, oh, okay, Anger, I feel you. I hear you. You're welcome here. There's space for you. Go ahead and tell me. Why do you think this is not fair? Well, because he should know how to help. You shouldn't have to tell him. Oh, yeah, okay, you know, that's valid. You're valid. You're valid. And I understand, Anchor, that you're here to try and keep me safe. Talk to the feelings. This is what this whole podcast episode's about. This whole exercise is about, is making space to just talk to your feelings. Talk it through with them. The way they feel is valid. Feel it. But you are still the calm, steady constant at the control panel. Anger says, let him have it round. Kick him right there. Punch him in the face. Let's freaking go. And you're like, wow, wow. Anger. You. You want to let him have it. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Because what this person did to us, to this person, is not something we would do. What this person did is just unacceptable to us. So let's use that. And then insecurity pops up her hand. She's like, well, we can't just leave. We can't just start things over. That would be way too terrifying. You're like, wow. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Fear, insecurity. I get your message. That would. That would feel really hard to start over, to walk away from this relationship, to do things differently, whatever it is. That would feel really hard. And you see how I can just talk to my feelings, whatever it is that they have to say. I don't fear it. Why? Because I am behind the control panel, and I've been teaching you about your identity, talking you through your identity, coaching you. And as you stand at this control panel, you're standing on your identity. You have a rock solid foundation that keeps you there. And you feel so strong and you feel so empowered to make any decision that you believe is in alignment with who you want to be. Any decision that is just like, yes, that's who I am. This is the one that I want to make, regardless if it's right or not. You know why? You make the choice, and you consciously make the choice, and then you learn what you need to learn after that. And you feel proud of what you can feel proud of from there. But having a feeling come up is not what makes you do what you want to do. It's not what makes you choose what you do next. You do. So the feeling of anger can be here, and you can choose to do something that looks nothing like anger, but you're still feeling angry. You're still feeling the anger. And as you feel your feelings, I promise you, they will pass. Anger. Got to vent at the board meeting, let you know exactly what it thinks and the way it thinks it should go and why things are the way they are. And, you know, now anger feels good. Anger's like, all right, you know, I got to get that out. And that felt really good just to get it out. What do you think we should do next? And. And the same thing with. With our positive emotions, with our gratitude, with our joy, with our abundance, with our silliness, our playfulness. We're dancing around, and it feels so good, and we're creating more of those feelings. And it's not like, oh, man, I just Just wish I could dance, but I can't. No, no, you act. You act in alignment with the way you want to feel. And you choose to create more feelings like that because you are at the control panel. You're deciding dancing would really help me right now. Click the button. I'm dancing. Play the music in my song. Turn that beat up. Let's go. Andy. Grammar. And you let yourself do that. But as in your identity, as you're deciding who you are, it's so important, and it will lead you and guide you in every area of your life. No matter what your feelings are telling you, no matter what your feelings, the valuable messages that they're delivering, they'll no longer be the leaders. You can be the leader because you're behind the control panel. And your feelings, well, they're the advisory board. Valuable. Very valuable. They have insights, they have knowledge, they have wisdom. And they're just pouring it into you. But it's time for you to establish some order. It's time for you to discipline what that looks like in your mind and who gets to deliver the message when. And giving everyone a turn to speak. Cause you're a leader. That's what great leaders do. Great leaders give others the opportunities to share, to speak, to inform us, to share their ideas. You are a great leader. So let your feelings do that. Let your feelings be great messengers with the ideas to share. But in that identity. Just like I said, it was so important for Ally at the control panel to know who she is. It's so important for me to know who I am. Because if I don't know who I am, what's gonna happen? Well, my feelings are gonna take over. Because how am I gonna stand behind that control panel if I don't even know I am a leader? If I don't even know I am confident, I am brave, I am worthy, I'm deserving, I'm gifted. If I don't even know that about myself, how are we gonna stand behind the control panel and really take charge of our life and what we do next? Especially in the face of difficult emotions that are sometimes giving us a lot of perspectives all at once and intense feelings. How are we gonna do that? You're not gonna do it successfully. So right now in your journal, I want you to write out who you are. Like I told you, I. I am energetic, I am gifted, I am creative, I am sincere, I am genuine, I am grateful, I am abundant, I am excited. I tell you this right now. I am so excited about who I am, my life, what I can do. And I'm not even there yet. Not even there yet. But I am just so excited to be on this journey. I'm so excited to get there, live my life the way that I want to. And I feel that I have that feeling of excitement every single day because it's who I believe I am. I have the feeling of gratitude and abundance and creativity and activity just running through me every single day because it's who I believe I am. Yes, my other feelings come. They're on the advisory board, too. Anger has stuff to say. Jealousy, you know, she's teaching me a lot about myself. Insecurity. She shows me what I need to work on. Fear. Well, yeah. She helps me see what I still need to heal. And I learn from all of my feelings because I allow them to deliver their messages to me, but I do not allow them to get behind the control panel. That's just too big of a job for them. I am the best person to be behind that control panel. So on your piece of paper in your journal, I want you to write out who you are. I just told you who I am. Write out who you are. I am. Write out three to five descriptive terms that just embody who you want to be. And write it as an I am statement. Whoever that is confident, secure, intentional, productive, responsive, engaged, interested, whatever. Whatever it is that you want to be. And now I want you right under that, to write out 5, 6, 10 emotions that you feel are very dominant in your life right now. Like they have the biggest messages to tell you. And maybe it's only 2, 1, 3, whatever it is for you, like I said, that advisory board. Endless seats. Endless seats. Whoever needs a seat, they've got a seat. That mental capacity is limitless. So invite them in. Remember, they're orderly. They're polite. They're not going to crowd your mind or make things way too noisy in there. They know your feelings, know that when they're invited to be on this advisory board, you are going to listen. And when they know that you're going to listen, they're no longer the screaming toddler at your side. They know. My mom's listening to me. I don't need to scream to get her attention. Her attention's on me. She's asking me questions. She's engaged. She's interested in what I have to say. She's taking what I have to say into consideration. I don't always do what my kids want. I don't always do what my feelings want. Because feelings are messengers, not leaders. Anger wants Me to punch someone in the face. Am I going to do that? Nope. My kids want to watch a movie. Two movies, three movies every single day. Am I going to do that? Nope. But I'll take it into consideration. I'll listen to what they want. I'll listen to what they have to say so that they're no longer screaming at me to just acknowledge them. And your feelings are the same way. You know what? This might be one of my favorite episodes I've ever recorded. Just so you guys know, I close my eyes for like a solid 10 minutes. I love this. So write out however many feelings you feel are just very dominant in your life right now. The joy, the, the good feelings, right? The positive vibrations, high frequency emotions and low frequency emot, whatever you want to call those. Write them out, who are they? And then right under that, I want you to remind yourself, I have endless space for my feelings to be felt. I have unlimited capacity to receive the messages that my feelings have to share. I am at peace and in total acceptance of my feelings. Write out a few affirmations that can just really help you. Start listening without judging yourself, without fearing the feeling, without shutting down and running away and putting a feeling at the control board, without doing any of that. Write out a few affirmations that just really resonate for you right now. Remember, you're the only one that knows what you need to hear when you need to hear it. I'm just here to give you some guidance, coach you through some things that you might feel stuck on, but ultimately it's you. You're the one that knows what you need to hear when you need to hear it. Now under that, I want you to look at the emotions that you wrote out. The feelings that you feel are just the most dominant in your Life right now. 1, 10, 15. However many you wrote out, and I want you to write one at a time on one line in the journal. Let's say anger came first. So anger is here and right next to anger. I want you to just draw a colon there and ask yourself, what does anger want to say? Anger's on the advisory board. Anger has a message to share. Let anger inform you. So write the question right above that. That's a better idea. Write the question, what do you need to say right above the feelings that you're now bulleting out underneath that. So what does anger need to say? Now bullet out the feelings that you wrote. I suggest doing one at a time because maybe some feelings have more to say than others. So give anger the space that Anger needs to communicate. And as you start listening, anger won't have so much to say. Anger won't be so loud and dominant in your mind because anger is not the toddler pulling and screaming at you because they've been ignored. Anger now feels understood and seen and valued. Why would anger yell at you? When anger feels respected, anger's gonna respect you. And I fully believe that. I really believe that. Our feelings are our friends. They are messages. And when we start treating them accordingly, they'll treat us better, too, in the way they deliver their messages. So bullet out the emotions. Ask yourself, what do you need to tell me? What do you need to say? Whatever question really resonates with you there and then write it out. Write it out. What is anger trying to tell me? What does anger want to say? No filter. No filter, guys. It doesn't have to look pretty. I don't think anger has many positive things to say. So let it be what it is. Let anger be honest and just write it out. Just see what you're working with and do that for all of the feelings. And now, as the leader in the boardroom and you've communicated with your entire advisory board of emotions, you've communicated with everyone on the advisory board, I want you to go underneath where you've written out everything that the advisory board has to share and ask yourself, what is the conclusion? What am I going to do? I have all this information now. My advisory board has done their job to inform me, guide me, and help me see what I was missing. And now ask yourself, what am I going to do? However you feel that you want to answer that question, what are you going to do to help yourself? What are you going to do differently? What action are you going to take in your life? What do you. How are you going to talk to your feelings moving forward? Answer that question, what am I going to do now? Now that I have all this information from my valuable advisory board that is unique to me and they are irreplaceable and I'm so grateful for all of them, or what am I gonna do? So as you complete this journaling exercise, I'd love if you kept me updated. You can write it out in a comment. You can email me info bodybymommy.com and I would love to hear from you, but I hope that this episode served you tremendously. You got the visual in your mind that you were at the control panel and all of your feelings are just the messengers in the advisory board. They're here to serve you. They're your Friends. And we don't want them to become an ignored toddler screaming for our attention right at our side, pulling on our shirt, pulling on our jacket, trying to just weigh us down and keep us stuck. We don't want to do that. We want to walk together, work together. Imagine how well your kids work with you when you're listening, considering engaging with them, remaining interested. I mean, gosh, they're. They're really willing to help you at the grocery store, be accepting of, you know, yeah, we're not going to the park today, but that's okay because we're also going to do this at home, and I love doing this at home. There's so many amazing ways to work together, and your feelings are no different. So I love you dearly. I'm super proud of you. And if you don't have my alignment journaling course yet and you're struggling with that identity piece, my alignment journaling course can help you tremendously. And if you have the alignment journaling course right now, focus on using the alignment journaling methods to enhance this exercise. How do you process your feelings now? Go through that. How do you listen? What is it like for you to be the leader? You know exactly who you are. My journaling course can help you have that clarity and make massive change in your life. It's truly amazing. I receive hundreds of emails from women. Thousands of women are in the course, and I receive hundreds of emails just letting me know how the course is changing their life. They no longer feel anxious. They no longer feel depressed. They no longer feel like they can't do anything in their circumstances. They're not looking for the negatives in their everyday life. They have changed their life, and they say, tessa, you changed my life. And that's just not true. I created a course, and they invested in themselves to get that course and do the work. They changed their life. You change your life. I don't change your life. You change your life. Some people that listen to my messages are not ready, and so the change does not come. But you're ready. You're listening. You're in this, and you're changing your own life because you are opening your mind to consider new perspectives, and that's something only you can do. So I am proud of you. I've changed my own life, and I know you can do it, too. And I'm just really grateful that however our lives have worked out and the ways that we've been able to connect that now we're doing it together. That's. That's the best part that we're doing it together now and no one needs to be alone in this journey. So I'm proud of you and I will talk to you absolutely, most certainly next week. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, don't forget to subscribe and share it. I love spreading the message of how positivity can come in so beautifully to help you through your journey of self discovery and healing. I'm cheering for you. I believe in you and I'll talk to you really soon.