6. How to KEEP You Cup Full

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to the Mind Body Alignment podcast. This is a place for us to come together and not only understand who we are, but how to become exactly who we want to be while developing the right skills and tools to help us do so. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero, and I can't wait to get started. It's time to talk about how to keep your cup full. And I'm pretty pumped about it because I recently did a reel on this, a coaching reel, and I had some cups, and it was talking about how everyone says you can't pour from an empty cup, so fill your cup first, which I obviously agree with. However, if you stop pouring into your cup to walk away and pour into others, guess what? Yep, you're still gonna run empty, and then you're gonna find yourself saying, hold up, guys, I'm empty. Pause. I gotta go fill up again. But the much better way to do that would to just be constantly pouring into your own cup so that you can overflow into those that you love and that matter most. So that's what we're going to talk about how to do today, how to keep that cup full so that we aren't reaching that empty point. And you'll know how to do that. If you do ever, you know, reach that empty point, I'm gonna help you out too. And that is speaking your own love language to keep that cup full. So if you've never done the five Love languages quiz, I highly recommend that you do. It can give you a lot of great insight, not only to your relationship, but to yourself as well. Um, if you are in a relationship, like I'm married, take the singles one and see what your love language is. And then take the married one and see what the what your love language is like. Kind of compare them. And another great way to see this is how do you love to give love to others? It's typical that the most comfortable way for you to give love is what is the same way that you like to receive love. So I hope that makes sense. But I think it's fun to just take the quiz in a couple different ways to give you even more insight about yourself. But this is a concept that I really want you to think about filling your cup using your own love language. Instead of only viewing your love language as a way for others to best build that relationship with you or show appreciation for you or, you know, the reciprocating love languages type thing, instead of only doing it for that, let's use it to fill your own cup. So whenever you're thinking about your day to day life, I mean, I've got kids, I've got two kids, I've got a business, I have this podcast, I have social media to be managing. I'm also a wife that I love that role. You know, like, there are so many ways that I want to show up for other people, but if I don't show up for myself, I will not be able to show it for them the way that I want to. And that goes back to my identity. Who I believe I am as a wife, as a mother, and as a coach comes from my ability to take care of myself. So part of my identity as a mother is being energetic. I cannot be an energetic mother if I'm running on empty. I need my cup filled. Same thing with being a wife. I. I can't be a silly, fun, loving and affectionate wife if I feel depleted. This is why filling your own cup is going to help you be who you want to be. Once you have your sights set on the identity that you're going for and you're like, yes, this is who I am. This is how I'm aligning my mindset. The things that we've talked about, the shame and the self forgiveness. Once you get to the point of filling your cup, you've got to know how to do that. So after you've taken that five large love languages quiz, which I'm happy to provide the link for you guys in the show notes, if you need it, it will be there right above my application for my coaching program. If you need some help with that girlfriend, I'm here for you. Anyway, let's talk about those five love languages. So there are acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, touch and quality time. Those are the five love languages. So if you know what your love language is, now we're going to spend a few minutes talking about different creative ways for you to fulfill your own love language on a daily basis. Okay? It has to be. It can't just be the once a month thing that you do for yourself. If you want your cup to overflow into those that you love, you gotta keep pouring into it every single day, as many opportunities as you can throughout the day. Not just the once a month massage or that fancy vacation to somewhere really cool on a beach with an infinity pool. I don't freaking know. That's not going to happen every single day, right? And as mothers, we need to figure out how can we fill our cup with small, consistent acts done the right way for Our personal love language. Instead of waiting for these huge, extravagant things to say, oh, that's when I'll be able to fill my cup. Nope, it can't be like that anymore if you want to be who you want to be. So let's dive into these five love languages. Random side note, I'm sitting on my closet floor because, you know, this is where we hang out with my notebook, my tea before bed, and to the left of me is a massive pile of all of my socks, underwear, and sports bras. And Luke finds it to be a point that he comes into my closet every single day, and I have these, like, container bins stacked up that hold my socks, my underwear, and my sports bras. And he always pulls, one by one, every single piece of clothing out and onto the floor. So I'm gonna have to take a picture of this and post it for you guys so you know, you can get the full visual of what's happening right here. Anyway, diving into love languages. Here we go. Love langu. Start with acts of service. Acts of service is for sure my top love language. And it's not just how my husband speaks my love language. It's how I speak my love language. So my love language being acts of service, it means a lot to me on a much deeper level, to stay productive, to complete tasks for myself, and that's that. Acts of service. Like, so every day, when I'm trying to fulfill acts of service for myself, what I'm doing is my mascara in the morning, for example. That's totally an act of service for me. It doesn't benefit anyone else. It makes me feel great and totally ready for my day, starting it off the right way. Another one would be my workouts. Totally an act of service for me. Again, doesn't benefit anybody else. It helps me feel great. It fills my cup. So I schedule in time for it. And something as simple as making my tea before bed or putting in my aligners at the right time in the evening so that I can take them out when I want to take them out in the morning. These are simple acts of service that I do for me, that just keeps my cup full throughout the day. Another great one, if your love language is acts of service, is making a list. If you tell me, tessa, I love lists. I love checking things off. I'm, like, already thinking that your love language is acts of service. Like, you love those lists. But instead of putting things on a list that overwhelms you or, you know, you're asking way too much from yourself, use that list as the opportunity to kind of keep things structured for your day and what you want to get done for yourself, for your home, the things that would provide that fulfillment for you. So my list makers, I'm willing to bet it's acts of service for you. Now, the second love language is going to be words of affirmation. This is, in fact, my second love language. Commonly, we're going to think of words of affirmation coming from other people. We want people to tell us that we're doing a great job. Now I, you know, if, if my husband is fulfilling my love languages, what he's going to do is do the dishes and tell me that I'm a phenomenal mother. Okay. Yep. You just checked both my love languages. Thank you. But he's not home all day to do those things. Granted, my husband helps tremendously and I'm so thankful for him. I need to be able to fulfill my own love language throughout the day. This is how you're going to pick yourself up. Perform in alignment with who you believe you are, and use your love language as a tool to keep your cup overflowing into those that you love. If your love language is words of affirmation, consider creating a mantra for yourself each day. What do you want to hear each day? For me, hard moments, Great days. Another one. This is something I can handle. I am doing the best I can. All of these affirmations run through my mind on a daily basis. And what I'm trying to do is train my brain to be my own best friend, to tell myself what I need to hear when I need to hear it. Because it's going to make such a difference for me and the way that I show up. And if positive self talk is something that you really struggle with, why not practice like pen to paper, write it on a sticky note and post it somewhere so that you can read it. Or spend three to five minutes journaling down some positive thoughts each day. Making yourself brain, making your brain go to that place. Listening to upbeat music is another great one. A podcast, a good audiobook that talks about a topic that excites you. Anything that involves those words, it's going to be extremely helpful for you. If that's your love language and filling your cup, the next one that we're going to talk about is touch. So physical touch is your love language. How can you do that for yourself? Yeah, it's great when your husband walks by you and smacks your butt or your best friend gives you that great big hug, like, so awesome. But how can you do that for yourself? That's what you need to think about, Mama. So doing something like painting your nails or brushing your hair, because you can feel that brush on your scalp and it feels so, so nice to you. Putting on lotion after you get out of the shower. Touching your body. If you're having a hard time with your kids in a certain moment, like you're having that hard moment, rub your thighs, ground yourself back with that physical touch. You can fulfill that at any point. You're not waiting on anyone else. This is something you can do. Workouts are another great way to get that physical touch. Stretching, also great simple examples. The next one is quality time. Lots of great ways for you to fulfill quality time. Maybe you start waking up just a little bit earlier before your kids so you can get that fulfillment that your specific love language looks for. Quality time with yourself. Nighttime routine, pull in the reins. Don't watch tv. That is not quality time for you. You need that quality time to come from putting your mind in a place that supports you. Go to journaling. Yeah, that brings in words of affirmation too. But you're spending great time with yourself. Go meditate, take a bath and it's just enjoy the silence. Another great one is if you're able to go on a solo drive or a walk or a run or a lunch date with yourself. Like simple little things like that, to get that quality time that you're looking for can be extremely fulfilling for you and you can honestly do it every single day. Yes, it's going to take being intentional and mindful just like any of the other love languages, but it's totally something that you can do and accomplish. And lastly, love language number five is gifts. The way that I would encourage you to look at the gift giving love language is what can you buy yourself that aligns with who you are, the way that you want to feel, the things that you want to learn, who you want to be. What can you buy yourself that aligns with that? Not things that lead to self sabotaging, right? So maybe you cancel your TV subscription and you sign up for an Audible subscription so you can start getting that good fulfillment and learning about topics that you're interested in. Or you buy yourself a journal that you've been eyeballing or a book about a topic that you've been interested in. A pair of jeans that fit just right and you feel so confident in the makeup that you've been looking at. Gosh, there's so many like simple little ways to fulfill this Love language that really don't have to drain your bank because it's not something that you have to buy daily. It is something that you can buy one time and enjoy every single day. Like that Audible subscription. You're paying for it once a month, but you can get fulfillment out of that book every single day. I hope now that we've had the opportunity to break down these love languages and look at it from a lens of how can I fill my own cup? And not only fill it, but keep it overflowing into all the people and things that matter most to me because they're right there under you. And just remember that I want you to view love languages and fulfilling them for yourself as a way to be who you want to be, to give yourself the support, encouragement and love that you need to keep showing up. Because when you are on this journey, you most certainly need to be your own best friend. And your love language gives you great insight as to how to do that. I hope this episode was helpful for you guys and of course reflect back on the previous episodes. If you are trying to understand yourself a little bit better, become who you want to be and overcome these obstacles. And if you need it, my one on one 12 week program, mind Body Alignment is always an option for you. Just click the link in the show notes to apply for that. Reach out to me. Get all of your questions answered. That's the best way to go about it and that's what I do for all of my potential clients. We get on a quick little 30 minute call together just to make sure that my program's a great fit. Because I don't want you to sign up for something that you have questions about or you don't know if it's going to work for you with your specific numbing habits. I'm always here to help you guys with any of your questions. So you can also reach out to me directly on Instagram Odi by Mommy. And if you really want to support me, go ahead and leave a rating on this podcast and a review that would mean so much to me. And there's really nothing that I want more for you than to be exactly who you want to be. Whatever that looks like for you, you have the freedom and ability to do so. You just have to start being your own best friend in order to get there. And that's what I'm here to help you do. All right, sis, I love you and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week and I can't wait to talk again. Coming up soon it is such a wonderful privilege of mine to be here with you in this space. And I hope that you find all the value out of our time together.