66. The Four Questions My Coach Asked Me, That Changed My Life

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to the Mind Body Alignment podcast. I'm your host, Tessa Romero, and also your coach. I'm here to teach you powerful skills and tools to not only know who you are, but how to become exactly who you want to be with a mindset that finally supports you. I'm so grateful that you're here. Let's get started. We are back, back, back. And I wanted to tell you this story while it's fresh on my mind, because if there's one thing that I have learned it in my healing journey over the past six years, so since I got pregnant with Liam to now, is when I really, I really just dove all into learning about myself. Like, why do I feel so angry? Why do I say these things about myself? Why do I believe this? Why do I do these things? Why do I project this way? And as I've done that self discovery work, I've learned a ton along the way. And if there's one thing that I could go back and do from the very beginning that I started, like when I was pregnant with Liam again, is when it started. I, I wouldn't change the time in which I've learned things or the experience itself. I would not change any of that. I, I love the way it worked out. I love how much I've been able to learn and every moment that it's, that it's taken and asked for and all of it. What I would change is how vulnerable I was in talking about it through the process. Through the process. Because so many people have no idea how much I struggled with anger, how, how my own negative thoughts were so loud and overbearing and how the way I was treating my husband and what it looked like just in the time that I was in it. So now I just, I try talking about it and I have, I have no real references in terms of like pictures or videos or real examples of like, look at this, this is what was happening. To have that kind of proof, I guess, to, to go along with the story. So what I've learned is to just be okay with sharing right where I'm at. And that is what, that's one of the big lessons that over the past six years I want to be better at moving forward is when I'm struggling with something and I'm learning something and I'm right in the thick of it, to be okay with talking about it before I have it figured out. And that's something I'm doing. So I want to be able to share this story with you while it's fresh and it's the story of what happened. So our past, the past episode that I just did about me and God, where we started, where I went, and where we're at today, I shared with you that I felt so ashamed in my relationship with him that I have found again in the past five years. And so I really hit it. I hid it for I wouldn't talk about it with my husband. I felt awkward talking about God to my kids. And as they've gotten older, I'm like, I want you to know him. I want you to know that he's there and he's listening and he has such a good listening ear when you have concerns. And he wants you to be the best version of yourself. And he wants you to take action in your life and, you know, not beg for him to fix things. He wants you to be empowered to know that you can fix things. And I want to teach my kids. So anyway, it's been this, like, whole thing over the past five years of like, okay, how do I have this relationship and hide it because I feel so ashamed of it? And in the past episode, I explained exactly what that is. So go listen to episode 65 and that will catch you up. Now I want to share with you how this profound shift I had in my mind yesterday. And I think it's the coolest story, and I want you to know about it too, because it might just inspire you so personally. I started working with my first coach that I've ever worked with earlier this year. We started working together in March, and we still work together. So March, April, made June, July. Five months. Five months we've been working together. And she is very talented. She's exceptional, extraordinary. Her name's Natalie Lewis. She focuses a lot on emotional intelligence, emotional wellness. I could seriously just gush about her all day. All the wonderful things to say. Natalie Lewis, I love you. I'm so grateful for the way she stepped into my life and. And at the perfect time. I mean, seriously, like, it is such a God thing that I came across her and what I really love about her is her relationship with God is something that she owns out rightfully. Like, of course I have a relationship with him and he is my co creator in my life. And him and I, we have a good discussion every morning and I come prepared to my meeting with him. I have my notebook and my pen and I ask him my questions and he is the best listener of my concerns and he gives me the answers that I need and she just like, outright owns it. All. And it's so inspiring. And yesterday I had a coaching session with her, and then I recorded episode 65 right after, because I just. I knew it was a message I needed to share. And now it's the next day, and I'm like, I want to share the whole story. I want to share how this happened, how my mind went to this place. Working with a coach, it is so invaluable to invest in yourself. You are the number one thing that you are guaranteed to see a return on your investment every single time. Invest in yourself with your time, with your energy, with your resources, and you will see a return on that investment. And every single time, 100% of the time. How great of an investment is that? Like, you are worth investing in. That's why I work with a coach. And honestly, I just wish I would have learned that sooner. I'm grateful that I'm only 28 and I could have really used it at 23, you know? So anyway, we. And. And Natalie works with the coach. Like, coaches need coaches. People need coaches. We are all here to help one another. So I'm. I'm working with her on our session together, and we're going over some. Some things that I just. I'm telling her, like, gosh, I kind of feel stuck on this and this and this. And we're working through it, and we can see, like, the places where my identity is sabotaging me, and we're able to clean that up. And she's helping me see what's going on because it's hard to see the label from inside the bottle. Here I am inside my bottle, and the label is, like, so freaking close to my face, and I'm like, wait, what is that word? Like, it's. It's. It's true. When you are in the middle of it and everything's right up to your nose, and how are you going to see what's really going on? That's why it's so valuable to work with a coach. They help you have a new perspective because they can see in a wider scope than you can, and they bring you to that place, and they don't tell you what to think. That's what's so beautiful. They don't tell you what to think or what to do. They coach you. They coach you with questions, and they challenge you. And, yes, they'll. They'll have some exercises for you, like my coach does for me. And, you know, it's so good. So if you've never worked with a coach, I just highly Recommend it. I still do one on one coaching. I. There's tons of coaches out there, so just find a coach that you're like, this is who I need in my life. This is it. And reach out to them and see what, see what their programs look like and what it looks like to work with them. Get your questions answered. So anyway, I'm on my session with my coach, letting her know we can see where my identity is not serving me, and we start shifting it. And then it came to this point of, you know, I, she, she, she wanted to give me an exercise because I told her I was like, I'm just feeling so disinterested in doing this specific thing where it doesn't make sense that I'm feeling so disinterested in doing it, because I know I want to do this. I want. I'm making a new parenting mindset course, and I want to do it so bad. And I've started and I've stopped, and I've started and I've stopped and I've wanted to get it done for a year. And I finally sat down and wrote out the entire outline, and it's just been like complete disinterest in my emotions to show up and keep doing it. So I'm explaining this to Natty and she's saying, like, okay, well, these feelings of disinterest, like, that's coming from somewhere. The feelings are messengers, right? And we're, we're, we're working through it. We're getting a little bit deeper. And I'm like, yeah. And she's like, you know, you're experiencing some opposition is what she called it. And I just finished reading a book called Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. If you've never read that book, I highly recommend it. I also think it'd be really fun to do podcast episodes that I review books that I'm reading. I think that'd be really fun too. So anyway, Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill also talks about opposition. So when she said that word, I had literally just finished reading that book. My mind was like, ding, ding, ding. Opposition. This makes so much sense. So I was like, okay. And she's like, I want you to do some homework. Now remember, I'm feeling disinterested in doing the very thing that I know I want to do, that I know will serve parents all over the world that will be so practical and so just something that they can implement. And I love that I'm not telling people how, how to parent. I'm Just teaching people a new way to think so that they can decide how they want to parent. Because a lot of people right now are not parenting the way that they want to parent. And it's not because they don't have an intuition or a better idea of doing it. It's because their thoughts are just so freaking destructive that it becomes difficult to show up as who you want to be. And then we stray. So I know, I know with every freaking ounce of me I'm supposed to do this, and I want to do it. And it's going to make such a difference in so many. In so many families, lives for kids and parents alike. And I'm just experiencing disinterest as feeling when I sit down to do it. I'm talking with my coach about it. And she goes, okay, I have a little homework assignment for you. We're approaching the end of our call. She's like, I have a homework assignment for you. And I was like, okay. She goes, I want you to take it to God. And when she said that, part of me felt like, oh, like, I can't talk about that. And that was the shame part, because I have not been owning my relationship with God. So of course I'm going to feel ashamed of it. I'm going to try and hide it. I'm going to try and keep it the secret thing, when in reality, what is there to keep secret about it? Why do I feel I need to hide it? Well, because I was telling myself that whole story that I shared in episode 65. So anyway, she said, I want you to take it to God. And I was like, I experienced that first thought and then a new one came in of like, oh, I've been wanting to try that. I've been. I've been really interested in learning more about God and faith and energies and like, just. Just all of it. That's why I read the book Outwitting the Devil. I'm just. I am really interested in learning about that right now. And I've been reading a lot of books in alignment with that and just expanding my perspective of it. And the thing that I've had a really hard doing is just owning and claiming my relationship with him and being able to say, I love God and he loves me. That has been so hard for me. And anyway, when she said take it to God, there was this part of me that was just like, I like that challenge. I really like that. Now I just have a clear chance to practice what I've been wanting to do. And I was like, okay, Nadia, I'll do that. Like, what do I do? How do I do that? And she told me, I want you to just ask him four questions. And I said, okay. And I'm seriously, like, at my notebook, pen and paper out. And I have the notebook, pen and paper right in front of me where I wrote out the four questions. She said. I said, homework, take it to God, period. And then I wrote out the four questions that she wanted me to ask him. And when I was, when she was asking me these questions, I was expecting my mind to be blank about the answers because it seemed like homework. I'm going to do it later. I'm going to think about this later. I'm going to make time for it later. I'm not going to have answers right now. And the way I got these answers so clearly it truly just reaffirmed to me. I do have a relationship with God. And when I am, when I am willing to talk to him, he's willing to give me the answers that I'm looking for. And it's not even just being willing to talk to Him. It's when I'm willing to listen for the answer. It comes. It was, it was, it was such a cool experience to just. For her to ask me these questions and for me to just know the answer in my heart rather than feeling like, oh, man, I really gotta, like, sit with this and make time and make space later. It was just all right there in that moment as she was asking me the question. So I, I want to share the first. I want to share the four questions with you too, because maybe they could apply to your life. Maybe you're experiencing some opposition where, like me, there's something that, you know, you really want to do. You want to start that business. You want to repair your relationship, you want to forgive, you want to start a new routine, you want to exercise, you want to lose weight, you want to do what? What do you freaking want? Look at what you want. And if, you know, like, I. I really freaking want that. And I'm experiencing this feeling of disinterest. I'm just feeling so unmotivated to do it and, like, low about it, even though logically I know I want to do that. And she called it the opposition. The opposition. So the first question that she asked me is, is the opposition I feel from Satan, like, is it Satan trying to keep me from doing something that's so good in the world? Which, you know, that could make sense? I, I truly believe that that happens when I share a new tool or skill. And I just, I've been attacked pretty critically and brutally on social media two specific times. And it was right after. Both times it was right after something amazing happened. Like, like I, I hosted my first revive and then that attack happened. And I'm like, I just don't think that's a coincidence, personally, the way that I want to view my life. I do not think that's a coincidence. It is. It's like that's the opposition from Satan, where it's like, hold on, you're getting, you're getting real confident over there. You're serving a lot of people over there. I need to kind of like rattle you a little bit. So I'm going to do this really big display of negativity. I'm going to do this really big display and that's the way I view it. So she asked me that question, is the opposition I feel from Satan? And that's not a question she's asking me. That's a question she wants me to ask God. And again, that felt challenging because I'm like, man, I just, I don't know about my relationship with him. Like, I. And I'm still like wrapping my head around it. Like, can I even say his name? Am I even allowed to talk about him? Or is that just for other people that are really good at reading the Bible and they go to church and they, they keep all the good things and do all the wonderful things and they can tell me all the verses from the scripture. Like, is, is that who it's for? Like, that's seriously where I'm at. And anyway, so she's asking me this question to take to God and I immediately had the answer. No, it is not from Satan. Which surprised me though, because I'm doing something good. I want to do something good that serves so many people. And I do have a tremendous reach through this podcast and through Instagram, through emails and through the courses and like, and everything. Like, I have built a reach and I have built a community that is interested. So in my mind, like, it would make sense that there's opposition from Satan. And yet I know what that feels like, like being attacked, you know, and that's not what it is. It's like I have this free flowing inspiration for this, for this specific course and the things that I have coming up for you guys, this free flowing inspiration and there's no, there's no limit in thinking I can't do, do it. It's just the feeling of disinterest. That's it. Okay. So I said no to that. I just wrote out the answer, no, it's not that. And then she asked me the next question. She goes, okay, your second question you're gonna ask him is, is the opposition I feel from you. And honestly, never once in my life have I considered God giving me opposition on purpose. Like, you know, and nothing he does is accidental. Everything he does is on purpose. And he. He's in the perfect timing. Like, he's always on time. He's always good, and he knows more than we do. He knows the bigger plan. He knows the bigger purpose. So everything he does is with purpose. So when she said, is the opposition I feel from you, as in God, instantly, it was like this resounding yes, it's from me. And it just. I felt so shocked. Like, what do you mean you're making. What do you mean you're gonna make this hard for me? What are you talking about? Like, I'm doing something good. Just let it be easy for me. Gosh dang it. And my coach goes on. Before she asked me the next question, she said, you know, is the opposition I feel from you? And I could instantly feel that it was a yes. And my eyes. Like, I wasn't even really sure what I was thinking at this point. And my eyes were filled with tears. It was just, like, so emotionally available for what it is that I meant to receive right now. And my eyes were, like, instantly filled with tears, as if. As if I already knew where this was going. And mentally, like, logically with my thoughts, I had no idea where it was going. No idea. I mean, her. Her question is the opposition I feel from you just shocked the F out of me. I don't freaking know. Right? So she had. She had said that when, you know, I told her a lot about what I have in the works and what I'm doing for you guys. And she said, you know, when you're doing something and something so good, God knows what's missing, and he's not going to let you go do something that's incomplete. Like, he wants. He wants it a specific way, and he wants to try and do what he can to help you do it that right way. So the disinterest that I'm experiencing is not because what I'm doing is wrong or bad or not what he wants. It's just incomplete. I'm missing something. And she explained it to me that way, and it was so beautiful to receive that. Like, okay, I'm just missing something. It's not that I'm not meant to make this course. It's not any of that. It's just there's something missing from it. So the next question, question number three is, is the opposition to help me grow? Is the opposition that I'm feeling to help me grow? That felt like a huge yes, too. And that one was like, a scary yes. Like a, oh, man, I have a feeling I'm gonna be asked to grow in a way that I may not feel like I want to right now. That was a really big yes. And then the last question that she asked me was, is the opposition to make me shift? And that went back to how she described to me, like, it's not that God wants to keep you from doing something good. He just wants you to. To push yourself a little bit more, to challenge yourself, to open up a little bit more, to include that missing piece. He knows there's a missing piece. When you don't. When you're not aware there's something missing, and you're like, oh, yeah, smooth sailing. Everything's golden, peachy, perfect. I know exactly what I'm doing. And you're not feeling challenged at all. There could be a missing piece. And it's just, like, we experience this opposition to help us grow and find these pieces of ourselves and the opposition to make us shift. And when she said, is the opposition to make me shift? And immediately my brain went to shift away from the parenting mindset course. Like, shift away from all these good new things that I want to do. Like, are you. No, I don't. I don't want to shift away from those things. And I don't think that's what I meant to do. And she said, well, with shift, that could mean something missing. Like, is there something else you're meant to include in this course and in what you're doing? And I was like, I don't know. And at this point, like, I am crying. I am crying. Like, there is something that my heart is aware of that my mind has lacked. Has lacked the imagined for. Like, it's. It's. It's lacked the answer, but my heart already knows because I'm already feeling it. Like, I'm feeling it, and I'm still finding the answer. So she was explaining that, you know, what else do you, like, if you sit here and think about the course you're creating, what is it that God might think is missing from it? And she phrased it in such a beautiful way. She said, what's missing from that mindset course that mothers need? And I thought on it for a second. And I was like, man, I don't know. And she goes, well, what do mothers need? What's missing from that course that you're creating that mothers really need that God thinks you can do, and you're experiencing this opposition? It probably took me a solid 45 seconds before I just, like, lost it. Like, there are so many more tears. And then I just started laughing. I was like. I literally said, oh, my. I know what it is. I know what it is. And, you know, we're on a zoom call together. And she's like, what? What is it? Tell me. And I just said, it's him. It's him. He's missing from this work. He knows his presence in my life, and he's sick and tired of me hiding it. He's so tired of me feeling ashamed and hiding this gift that I. That I have allowed back into my life. And he's so sick of me not telling other people about it, because he is present in my life, and I do love him, and he does love me. And she goes. She goes, you know, right. Right there sharing the excitement with me. And she goes, tessa, who needs that more than anybody else? Who needs to know God's presence and God's love for them more than anybody else? I said, mothers. Mothers need to know God's presence and his love for us more than anybody else, truly. And it just. It was such. I mean, it changed my life. My life changed yesterday. I'm able to own this and claim this and look this fear in the eyes and watch it cower away from me. Like, I finally get it. It finally clicks. And I don't. I don't even need to know exactly what that looks like. I don't need to know exactly how I'm gonna do it. I don't need to teach people scripture. I don't need to know when to tell people their church meetings start. Like, I don't freaking need to know these things going on. All I need to know is that no matter what, I love God and He loves me, and I am enough, and I am forgiven. And I can hate him for 17 years and come right on back. Like, And. And. And I can just experience my own natural consequences of going through life and going through all of that hardship and carrying all of that anger without Him. That was my consequence. I made my own freaking consequence. He wasn't over there punishing me. Like, oh, you strayed away. So here's another bad thing to happen to you. No, it's just, wow. These are the things that are happening in My life, and I don't have anyone to help me. That's the consequence that I faced in stepping away from him. And I did it for 17 years. And in the past five years that I've come back, my life has been profoundly easier still. Hard circumstances, difficult boundaries have been set. I've outgrown a lot of people and places and things, and there's been a lot. And it's been easier because God's got me and I've got this, and I love him and he loves me. I. And in some. Some way or another, he allowed us to decide what we're going to think about life. And he said, I'm going to give you free will to decide for yourself what you're going to choose to do next and what you're going to think. We have the power of thought. That is truly the most powerful thing we could ever ask for. And he gave it. He gave it right on to us. He doesn't make us think good thoughts. He doesn't make us think bad thoughts. That is us. That is who we are. His children choosing what we're gonna think. And in some way or another, I really am meant to share God with you. And if you're listening to this, like, wow, this is such a shift. And Tessa's content. I know. I know. And believe me when I tell you, it feels terrifying. It feels terrifying. And yet I look my fear in the eyes and I watch it cower down. So that's what happened. That's the profound shift I had with my own coach where, you know, she was able to ask me, what's missing from your course. This disinterest that you're experiencing is not because you're not meant to do it. It's because something's missing, and he knows it, and you know it. And when she just asked me, what is it that mothers really need that you're not giving them? God. God. And whatever that looks like for you. I think it's just. What's really important is believing that there's something bigger than us. There is a source for good. There's a power for good. Just like there's negative energies in the world, there's positive energies. That's where the balance comes from, is negative and positive. And it's worth believing and having extreme faith in the good, in the positive. You're not going to be too positive. You're not going to be too faithful. You're not going to be too hopeful. That's what the world needs more of now than anything else. And I just, I refuse to be the person that sits back and says, well, I don't want people to call me toxically positive. I honestly don't care anymore. I've looked my fear in the eyes and it cowers away from me. I know who I am. I know my purpose. And I've. I've never been more clear in this calling. And I think after the past five years, God's just like, you know, if you really want me on your side, you want this free flowing inspiration to sit down and bust out this course and make it the absolute best thing you can create for parents around the world, then guess what? You better own it. You better. We are done hiding in the dark. This relationship has outgrown that five years of darkness. We are coming to the light. And that feels so good. I feel so free. I finally feel like I can just be me and I can lay it all out there and I can say his name. I can say his name because I love God and He loves me. So I hope this episode served you in some way. Maybe you want to take those four questions to God yourself over some opposition that you're feeling in your life. So let me review those four questions for you. Number one is the opposition I feel from Satan. Number two is the opposition I feel from you, as in God. Number three is the opposition to help me grow. Number four is the opposition to help me shift. And those four questions are something that my coach, Natalie Lewis shared with me yesterday and I just think it deserves to be shared with all of you in whatever capacity that we can. So take your questions to God, see what he shares with you and just know that every answer that you're searching for that you need, it really is within you. Sometimes we just need help asking better questions. So I love you dearly. I'm excited to keep this conversation flowing and see where it continues to go from here. And gosh dang it, I'm feeling really interested, very much engaged and interested in what it is that I'm creating and have coming for you. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, don't forget to subscribe and share it. I love spreading the message of how positivity can come in so beautifully to help you through your journey of self discovery and healing. I'm cheering for you. I believe in you and I'll talk to you really soon.