69. Early Morning Wakings? Here's A New Perspective That Changed Me

I have made maybe the most profound shift in my mindset about Liam waking up early that I have needed for the past five years. And I only just found it a few days ago. So I wanted to make a whole stinking podcast episode about this because it has been a trigger point for me as a mother. And that's the early morning wake ups. And I know I'm not alone, and I know that it can feel really frustrating when your kids are. Are up before you or right when you're trying to get up and you're trying to have a morning routine and you're like, okay, I'm finally doing what I need to do. I'm going to bed early. I'm waking up early. I'm focusing on my habits. I want to set a great tone for the day. You know, I'm spending time journaling, I'm reading scripture, I'm reading a book. I'm. I go outside first thing, I'm off my phone. You know, you're working on all these great habits, and you're trying so hard to improve your mental health and set this new tone and be this great mom that you want to be, right? And then your kids wake up before you or at the same time as you, and you're already trying to wake up early and you're just sitting there thinking, like, why are you up? Go back to sleep. Of course I can't have this time to myself. Of course you're up before I am. And I set my alarm at 5. Like, this is so unfair. And why can't you just sleep in like the other kids? Believe me, my friend, I have had every single one of those thoughts and more. More that are a little bit more colorful and they're just. They're totally coming from the victim mentality. They are 100% coming from the victim mentality. The woe is me, poor me. My kids are waking up just to upset me. This is happening to me. All of that is that victim mentality. And I've done some episodes on that, so you can go explore that there. We talk about the victim mentality in depth. Just coach through it. Inside of mind, body alignment. And there's something that you can do right now to work on this. And part of it is a huge shift in perspective. It's really leaning into an identity. We've talked about identity. All those I am statements. Who you believe you are is going to make the biggest change you could even imagine in your life. And I see my clients do it every day. I see it serve me Every day and the changes that I want to make. So just a few days ago and really for the past close to what are we at maybe like four or five weeks now, I've been working on a morning routine I know again and I'm really proud of myself. So even though we've started over lots of times this past year, I. This is the furthest streak, that furthest streak I've had because before that it was like two days in a row and now we're like five weeks strong. Feeling super good. So anyway, I'm working on this morning routine because I feel best when I wake up before my kids and I feel best when I get my journaling done in the morning to really set my mind up for success that day and, and give it clear direction of who I'm going to be, how I'm going to show up, the way I'm going to feel, what I'm going to do and just stay really focused. And that's what journaling gives to me. And if you want to start a journaling routine, remember, you can click the link in the show notes and it'll take you to the alignment journaling course. And I am telling you, there have been hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women that have been using this course. I mean, we're in the thousands now. We're almost at 5,000 women that have this course and have been using it diligently and faithfully to improve their mindset. And it's so practical and something that you can do today. It's not about waiting a little bit longer, waiting for circumstances to change or waiting until the feeling passes or things get easier. You need help right now. I need help right now. Every single day. We need to have a way that we can show up for ourselves. And journaling gives you the opportunity to do that. And I teach you exactly how to do it inside of the alignment journaling course. It's practical, you can implement it today and it is affordable. And you have lifetime access to not only the course, the Monday emails that I send out and continued resources that I provide because I am just so committed to those that are committed to themselves. And I love seeing that in YouTube. So anyway, that is something that you can do along with a morning routine. And I will let you know that I often journal during my kids bedtime routine too. If I didn't journal that morning, um, I will lay on my. My 5 year old loves it and so does my 3 year old when we lay with them until they fall asleep. And you know, instead of me scrolling my phone or just, you know, know, twiddling my thumbs or falling asleep in their bed at 8 o'. Clock. I've decided if I hadn't got my journaling done that day, I'm going to journal on their bed and I'm going to, I'm going to show them what it looks like to have a habit that I love and I look forward to and it serves me and that's what I want. Um, so anyway, morning, night, afternoon, you can journal any time of day. Coming back to this episode though, with early morning wakings and you want routine. I am in the same boat. I have early risers. And Liam specifically has been my morning lover for five years. Years. It has improved significantly since he was a baby. When he was a baby it was like, I swear he was like waking up for the morning trying, starting at like 4. And I felt so exhausted and I was trying everything that I could and we finally found, you know, what, what would work better for us. And even then, him wanting to start the day at 5:45. He would typically wake up at 5:45, talk for 15 minutes. I'd be getting ready for the day and then I'd come get him. And I just found. I found so much peace in that phase that season we were in. And now he sleeps till about like 6, 6:30. So anyways, here's where this profound shift came for me about my early morning waker. And sometimes it's Luke, sometimes it's Drew. And if you're like me, you don't wanna just sit in these thoughts that you're the victim, that your kids are doing this to you and to start your day with this tone of, of life happening to you and your kids asking you questions just to annoy you and they didn't let you do X, Y, Z. So now you can't do this other thing that you want to do. Like I know you don't want to think that way and I want to teach you a new way to view things. So yes, journaling helps significantly and so does seeking out continued resources like this podcast. So last week was on Saturday. So a few days ago my husband was out of town. I was solo momming it, rocking it, super proud of myself. And I gave myself a gift while he was gone. I had a BabySitter Come at 5:45 in the morning so that I could do a run with a couple of my friends in town. I've been training for this race coming up and I've been trying to get like more Miles in, blah, blah, blah. So this babysitter's like, yes, I can come. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Best babysitter ever willing to come at 5:45 in the morning. So she comes, I tell her, like, it's likely the kids will be up, you know, in the next 15 minutes, so just be prepared for that. And I walk her through everything, and then I hit the trail, and I'm running with my friends, and I'm not thinking twice about, like, Liam waking up or anything. I'm like, you know, they can. They're fine. They can figure it out. I trust her. All is well. I'll be back in soon. So anyway, I'm out running. And when I get back from my run, I was gone for an hour and a half. So I got back at 7:30, and when I got back from my run, Drew was up and Luke was up. And I'm talking to the babysitter. I'm like, where's Liam? She's like, oh, well, he woke up at about 6:15, and he asked me where you were, because, you know, I was in the living room and he asked me where you were, and I told him that you were out on a run with some friends. And then he just told me, okay, I'm gonna go wait back in my bed until she gets back. And when the babysitter so graciously gave me this information, information of what had happened and Liam had decided to go wait back in his bed until I got back, it finally freaking hit me. Like, I finally understood over the past five years why it is that he wakes up whenever I do. Like, if I set my alarm for five, he's up at five. If I set my alarm for six, he's at six. If I set my alarm for 5:30, and I come down here and I start working out, he is shortly following behind me while once he realizes that I'm not there, like, and it used to drive me freaking bonkers. Like, I would feel so frustrated, and now, like, I've always known that it's what I think about it that creates these feelings because thoughts create feelings. My kids outside of me do not control what happens inside of me, right? And I've never found this perspective of. Liam doesn't just love the morning. He loves the morning with me. He doesn't want to stay up with a babysitter. He wants to stay up with me. And how cool is it that the most pure, the most good, the most innocent people on this earth, children want to start their day with you and that perspective, just having that, it changed everything for me. Like I felt so grateful and so excited to just view mornings different with Liam. If he wants to wake up and really start his day with me, I include him and invite him into my morning routine for a lot of reasons. And now I see it as like, yes, it's still, it's still great for me to model this behavior and show him like these wonderful ways that we can care for ourselves. And I'm meeting a huge need for him which as my oldest, maybe he does just crave that one on one time with me. Maybe it's hard for him to have those two extra siblings now and to be the biggest brother and man, maybe he's not getting as much of me as I think he is. And like all these, all of these different perspectives started flowing to me so freely and so graciously and I felt just so empowered to accept whatever time he wakes up. Because it's not just about the morning, it's about a morning with me. And if I'm not there, then he would just go back to bed. He doesn't wanna stay up with a babysitter. He wants to stay up with me. And I full heartedly believe that our kids are the most pure, the most good, the most innocent and wonderful people on the planet. And we can learn so much from them. And the fact that those people, those innocent, pure and good people wanna start their day with us, me and you, the mothers of the world, they wanna start their day with us. What does that say about us? That we are pure and we are good and we are innocent and we are lovely to be around. And we're a joy. We're a hoot. We're a hoot to be around. And I think that's just, it's so empowering when you allow yourself to shift your perspective just a tiny bit and everything else can stay exactly the same. Liam can still wake up early. He did this morning. I had a friend come over to work out with me at 5:30 and Liam was down there shortly after. And you know, he's like, mom, can you come upstairs? I want you to come upstairs. I want you to hold me. Buddy. I'm working out right now. I'm doing my workout. You're welcome to wait for me in bed or you can stay down here with us. I am working out right now. So you choose what you want to do and I'll hold you when I'm done. And I can hold that boundary. I can have that there and be kind and respectful and have this perspective that him and I can share. You want to be with me. His perspective is I want to be with my mom, even if it's at 5:30 in the morning. My kids are a huge reason, an enormous reason why I get my freaking butt out of bed. Like an enormous reason, because I know the quality that I give to myself is the quality that I give to them. So if I'm not giving anything to myself, how much can I really give to them? You can't give what you don't have. Right? We need to be pouring into ourselves in really intentional and purposeful ways that serve us so that we can serve those in our home. And we are completely capable of doing so. And it doesn't have to be a morning routine. I know some might have a mind right now that's so fixated on like, but I can't have a morning routine, so I can't do xyz. There are other ways to serve yourself. I've been trying to get a morning routine for a year and I'm just barely getting back to that point. And that's okay because throughout that time, I was still journaling, I was still exercising, I was still focusing on my water intake, limiting my social media consumption, and the time that I spend on those apps. I've been focusing on my productivity and my purpose and just the daily routine in my home. You can still do all of that and wake up at the same time as your kids. You don't have to wake up before them in order to start making meaningful changes. You'll start making meaningful changes when you decide to focus on what you can do right now. Take your attention off of what's not in your control. What time your kids wake up is not in your control. You can prepare the perfect environment, give them the hatch light, tell them the things. When it's this color, we do this thing and blah, blah, blah, and set the boundaries and put snacks in the room and whatever the freak you want to do. You could do all the things and they're still gonna decide what they do next. That's it. They're still gonna decide what they do next. We only control ourselves. So if you have a circumstance where your child's waking up early, a shift in perspective may not get them to sleep longer. And you don't need to get them to sleep later in the day. That day will come. It will come. And I bet you when that day comes, you're like, oh, I can't believe there's still a sleep sleep. And Maybe you're expecting them to wake up and pull weeds that morning or wake up and do something that morning. And isn't it funny that now they're doing the exact thing that you've been begging for them to do, and you're still not thrilled with it? Because it's not about what they're doing. It's about what we think about what they're doing. If they wake up early, if they sleep in, if they're having a hard time falling asleep, or they go to sleep right away. The kids that ask us right now to lay next to them until they fall asleep. And sometimes we just do it begrudgingly and resentfully and we're laying there like, oh, why can't you just go to sleep on your own? Well, one day, go to sleep on their own, and you will feel a little heartbroken. Like, man, remember when you wanted me to just lay next to you and read your books and stroke your hair, rub your back until you fell asleep? And if I tried to leave that room even a second before you were completely out, it's like we were starting all over again. You'd pop back up. And I know it can feel hard. I know that. I also know that mindset makes it easier. So when we can have just little shifts, like our kids are after a morning with us, they're not just after the morning. And here we are needing all of this accountability and all this reason and purpose to have a morning routine. When they just think about my mom, that's it. That's it. That's all the reason they need. That's all the accountability, that's all the purpose that they've decided they need to wake up early. They don't need an alarm. They have so much inspiration within them, so much excitement to see you. They don't need an alarm. And I think about that, and I'm just. I'm just left thinking how special we are. And we're so much special, so much more special than we give ourselves credit for. We make such a difference than we're willing to see. And we're so much more valuable than we allow ourselves to say. And I want us to spend more time thinking about how valuable we are, how irreplaceable we are, how truly deserving and worthy we are of that kind of love. The kind of love where they don't need an alarm. They just think of you and wake up so excited to see you. It's really special. So I hope this perspective served you in a meaningful way. And it inspired you to work on your mindset even more about the everyday things, what time your kids wake up, how long they take to fall asleep, what they're doing right now, the challenges you're experiencing with teens or 3 year olds or newborns. No matter where you're at, what circumstance, what season, mindset is still involved because you think something about everything. And I hope to be a a profound resource in your corner making a difference in your life. And we're purposeful and we're blessed and we're confident together in our pursuit to have a meaningful life because of the way we think about it. So nothing needs to change before you do. And all change is going to start with what you think. I'm so proud of you and I'll see you soon. Thank you for joining me on this week'. If you enjoyed the podcast, don't forget to subscribe and share it. I love spreading the message of how positivity can come in so beautifully to help you through your journey of self discovery and healing. I'm cheering for you. I believe in you and I'll talk to you really soon.