90. The Adjustment Period During Your Growth

Welcome to the momset podcast, my friend. I'm your coach, Tessa Romero, and as a woman of God, an adoring wife, and a mother of three darling boys, I am passionate about giving you the tools you need to build a mindset skill set that enriches your experience through motherhood and daily life. I've had my fair share of challenges and hardship throughout my life, and that is exactly how I came to this place of finding purpose to my pain and helping you do the same. I know we can thrive right where we are at, and it's time for us to take back motherhood by being the mommy that we want to be right right now. Thank you for being here and making this a wonderful place for me to show up alongside you. Welcome back, my friend. I'm so excited for this episode because I really believe it's going to be meeting you right where you're at, and maybe that's the adjustment period for you. We're going to go into what this adjustment period is, what it feels like, and what you can be doing to help yourself through it. Because let's be honest, when you're trying to change your mindset and embrace a new identity of who you believe you are and create a new vision for your life, and there's going to be an adjustment period where it feels so hard to do so. It can feel so painful and uncomfortable to this point that you're wondering and questioning, am I even doing this right? Am I doing the right thing? Am I sure These are the changes that I want to be making because I keep defaulting back into what I was doing before. So my goal for this episode is that it equips you to move through your adjustment period with grace and and a little bit more ease to know that you are doing it right, you're doing an excellent job and you're getting where it is that you want to be. There's just an adjustment period that comes with it. So to best help you do this and have this great visual in your mind, I want you to imagine that you've been living in a dark space. Call it a dark room. You've been living in this dark room for as long as you've had this mindset that you want to overcome, as long as you've had this identity of I am exhausted, I am overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I'm lazy, I am a bad mom, I'm a terrible wife, I am selfish. Any type of identity that you've been claiming in that sense, however long you've had that identity, however long you've had the mindset of I can't do these things, of course this happens to me, things never go my way, I can never catch a break. Those type of thoughts, however long you've had those thoughts, however long you've had the vision of your life being the way that you've projected it to be just in your mind, that visual. And by vision, I mean what you choose to focus on creating in your life. And a lot of us unconsciously and subconsciously create this vision of our lives that we don't actually want. We don't want to see it come to fruition. We just. We don't know necessarily that there's another way. And that's what I love about this work that I get to do for you, is I get to teach you that there's another way. And that alone instills so much hope and so much inspiration to your life to get on board with this work. And that's when you reach your adjustment period. So when it comes to your identity, your mindset and your vision, when you go to change these things, there's going to be an adjustment period. And let's imagine you've been living in this dark room for as long as you've had that identity, had that mindset, had that vision for your life, which for most of us is going to sound like over 10 years, 20 years. It can be a very, very long time. Since the time you were, I mean, maybe 6 years old, 10 years old, 12 years old. I'd say my really hurtful identity and negative mindset is. And doom and gloom vision of my life really started when I was about 12 years old. From the time I was 12, well, probably closer to 10. So from about 10 to 23 years old, that's the way I referred to myself and the mindset that I was in. So for, let's say 13 years, I lived in this dark room. How many years is it for you? How long have you been living in that dark room with all that negativity and the terrible way of viewing yourself and the limited vision that you've had of your life? How long have you been in that room? Okay, so I'm gonna use the reference of 13 years because that's my personal experience. If you live in a dark room for 13 years, what happens when you open the front door and you walk into, let's say, the sunshine? That's going to hurt, that's going to burn your eyes so badly. 13 years is a really long time. I honestly can only imagine what it would feel like to leave a dark room and walk into the daylight for the first time in 13 years. And I think we can all kind of get that visual of like how badly it would burn your eyes, how over wound your senses would become, how we want to like turn away from it, squint, go back inside where it's more comfortable. And honestly, we can get a good visual like that even when we wake up in the morning. Like you were asleep all night and then you look at the sun in the first thing in the morning, or you go to the movies and you're in there for a couple hours and you leave the dark movie theater and you come out into the sun. It's like, oh man, that sun is bright. And our senses become a little bit overstimulated and there's an adjustment period. That's what I'm referring to here, the adjustment period. Going from dark to light. We all have an experience with this. And when we get into that light, it's so common and it's healthy to squint your eyes, to rub your eyes, to close them tight, to turn away a little bit, to feel like, am I doing the right thing? Am I supposed to be here? Is it supposed to hurt this bad? Is it supposed to be this uncomfortable? To question things that's so normal. Any of us would have that experience. Going from dark to light, and it almost feels like you're doing something wrong, right? It almost feels like coming into this light is wrong. And embracing the sun, leaving that dark room. No, it was just. It was just also wrong. And yet you know it's right. You know you're meant to be in the light. You know you're meant to have the sun. You know you're meant to live this way. And it's just going to take an adjustment period and you know it will pass. That's the difference here. When you wake up in the morning and you open the window and you see the sun, you know all that discomfort's gonna pass. So what do you do? You surrender to it. You surrender. Knowing I'm gonna make it to the other side and I'm gonna love. I'm gonna love the other side that I spend all day there. So you persevere and you stay the course because you know it's right. Even if it feels uncomfortable, even if there are painful stings in your eyes and you have to rub them and blink repeatedly and squint and turn away, you still know it's right. So you persevere and you stay the Course, we wouldn't choose to just go back inside. We just know it's gonna pass. And mindset, identity, embracing a new version of yourself, having a new vision for your life is the same thing. There's an adjustment period that comes when you decide to make this change in your life. And when that adjustment period hits, you better believe it's gonna be freaking uncomfortable. You better believe you're gonna question if it's even right, if you should just go back to life living the way you did before, and you're squinting and you're blinking and you're rubbing your eyes and you're turning away. You better believe all that's going to happen, because you went from dark to light. And yet you know this is the right way. I meant to embrace the light. I'm meant to be in the warmth of the sun. So we are going to continue going after it. And I want you to have this. This visual for yourself, because I know you're working so hard to create a new mindset. And I'm not saying it's going to be easy. It takes so much surrender. It takes so much vulnerability. It takes this willingness to change your mind. It takes a willingness to have a new approach. Out of the hundreds that are available to get to the objective that you want, we have to hold ourselves to a higher and different standard. And all of that can feel hard, and we can know that it's good. It can be hard and good because when you get into the light and you're able to feel the warmth, you're also able to see colors and details more clearly, right? Once that adjustment period, you're getting further into it, colors come to life and details become clear, and you discover new things and feel your endorphins rising all on their own. And it feels so, so good. And you're so close to getting to that point. And when you were in the point of darkness, living there, that's all the negativity, that's all the lies that you were believing and your mind was feeding to you and all of the negative influences that you allowed into your mind, into your heart, into your home, that created even more, like, fed that darkness. And that's really hard because we get comfortable there, and we view it as relatable. We view it as almost desirable because it is so comfortable. This is what I know how to do, and so this is what I crave doing. And all of that makes sense. So those lies and the negativity that we were living in is the darkness, and truth is the light. So when you come into mindset work, there's honestly more truth. There's more truth in this light of empowerment and all that you're capable of. There's more truth there than there is in the negativity and the darkness and the lies. And that truth can sting. It can cause that adjustment period. So when we come into the light and it stings and it burns and we squint and we blink and experience discomfort for it, we know we, this is still good. This is where I'm meant to be. And if we would just allow ourselves to. To know. This is an adjustment period. That's what I want you to start referring to it as is an adjustment period. This is how you can help yourself through it, is to understand this will pass. It's so powerful to remember this will pass. This is an intentional decision I'm making. This is a direction I want to go. And bring in more empowerment for yourself. This is good for me. And as you create more of that positivity and empowerment in your life and you get clear on your identity, we become willing and able to move through discomfort even faster than we did before. Because honestly, it takes longer to adjust when we keep going back into the darkness. Because then we have to come back into the light and be like, oh, man, here we go again, right? Like, be willing to. To know. Like, when I'm in that eyes burning, squinting, my senses feel a little bit overstimulated right now. This will pass. I'm in my adjustment period. And having that surrender will help you move through it faster. What also helps you move through it faster is the clear identity. Who is it that you're working so hard to become? Have that dialed in as clear as as possible. I am productive. I am persistent. I am capable. I am empowered. I am compassionate. I am gentle. I am soft. I am nurturing. I'm loving. I am endearing. I'm caring. Who are you get crystal clear on who it is that you are, because you need sight of that least that in order for you to adjust and be able to see things more clearly. You're going through your adjustment period. And the way through it is to know who it is that you're finally allowing yourself to become. And the same thing goes with the mindset. You don't have to fear negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are not a bad thing. They're healthy. We all have negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are designed to inform us and protect us. We're just not meant to live there. So you take the negative information that your mind so purposely provides to you and you take it over to your place of empowerment. Because it's just information. Information is, is empowering for you to have. So you get that information and you don't fear negativity and saying like, oh my gosh, I had, I had a negative thought. Oh my gosh, I got my negative mindset. My victim mentality is back. I must be living in the darkness again. That's not what that means. Because the self awareness, that's part of you seeing colors, that's part of you seeing things more clearly. That means you're in the light if you can catch it. You're closer to the light than you think. You're further into your adjustment period than you think. The problem is when we have no idea when we're doing it. We have no idea what we've been saying to ourselves and what our mindset is and what our vision is of our life. Yeah, that's when we're in the freaking darkness. And the adjustment period is something we have to choose and very consciously to step into. And again, it's going to feel uncomfortable, it's going to sting and hurt a little bit. And as long as you know this is all part of the process, this is normal, this is natural. My body's doing what it's meant to do in order to adjust. I just want to support it. Right. As long as you can keep that perspective, I know you'll stay the course and you stay clear on who it is that you are. You build a mentality that accepts negativity will come. It will, because my mind wants me to be well informed, it wants me to be safe. And I'm going to choose to take that information with me into an empowered mindset so that I can actively move forward and intentionally make decisions in my life and consciously create what I want in my vision. And, and the vision part is a focus on what you do want to create in your life, the relationships you do want to have, instead of a cycle of the friendships and relationships that you don't want to have and you're not satisfied with. We get crystal clear and focused on what we do want and release the idea of how it is that we're going to do it, how we're going to make it happen. So I just wanted to record a little episode for you to know that the adjustment period is completely normal, completely natural. Just like it would be from you leaving a dark movie theater, going back into the sun, waking up in the morning and seeing the sun, or living in a dark room for a very long time. And then walking out a front door into the sun. The sun is not bad. You know that you experience all that discomfort and you still made the right choice. You're still doing what's good for you. And so we persevere and we keep going. And that's what I want you to do here, is to know you made the right choice and to keep going and to stay clear on your identity. Stay conscious of your mindset. Do not fear the negativity. Embrace it. Take the information over into an empowered mind so you can actually do something proactive and intentional with it. And then stay laser focused on what you do want to create in your life. So that way, when your eyes sting and burn and you're rubbing them, you know it's okay. It's all okay. And you're still gonna choose to adjust. You're gonna choose to allow your body to do what it knows how to do, to get to a place of seeing colors more clearly and the details to be more defined in your life so you have more awareness. I hope this episode served you tremendously and you're feeling excited to continue pursuing a new identity, mindset, and vision for your life. You've got this, mama. You can absolutely be exactly who to be, and I hope that I get to support you every step of the way. Oh, my sweet friend. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode of the momset podcast. Please take a minute to leave a review and share the show. If you loved it, I'd love to stay connected as we continue to learn and grow in motherhood right alongside each other.