https://www.listennotes.com/e/d7c20580f35240149c2d9559d72c25f1

Welcome back to the show, my sweet friend. This is the positive corner of the podcast community where we talk about mindset and motherhood and the tools that you can very practically be using on a daily basis, really in every relationship and area of your life. I just love to focus it strongly on motherhood and marriage. And I love to share these tools with you that I myself am practically using and I come up with because I catch myself in negative thoughts. and I catch myself outside of alignment with the mother and the wife that I want to be, and I have a victim mentality just like everybody else. I just want to get out of it faster than most people want to. I've spent way too much time there. I know what it's like, been there, done that, got my t-shirt, I'm ready to be out of it. So you're like me where you're same thing. You've visited the victim mentality, you got your t-shirt, you're over it, and now you want to be more empowered. You want to show up as the mom you want to be, I'm not here to tell you who you want to be as a mom. You know that's not what I'm here for, and that's not why you're here to tell me the mom I want to be. We're collectively here to have a better picture of the mom we want to be so that we can walk in that direction. And when we walk in that direction, we come up with really cool and exciting ways that we're doing that. And that's what I'm sharing on the episode. This time is one of my very favorite parenting mentalities that help me stay out of the victim mentality When I see misbehavior or bad behavior, poor behavior, whatever you want to call it, when I see misbehavior in my kids, I use this mentality. And it is such a game changer. It's called Quiet Observations and Quick Corrections. Oh my goodness, you could use it in literally any relationship, any circumstance. You can use this mentality. I have just found that I use it most, most often in motherhood because I've got four little kids that are all behaving in their own ways and it just shows up most. Dominantly there. So quiet observations and quick corrections. And the way that this came about for me was a few years ago, I only had my first two boys and my oldest was about three years old. And I noticed that if I told him no directly and I used language like, You can't have that now because you threw it, or I'm taking that away because you're mistreating it, or now we can't watch TV because you just hit your brother, or I'm not gonna buy those snacks anymore because you're way too hyper when you have that sugar. When I would do that, it, like I could provide endless examples, but when I would do that, it would just blow up in my face every single time without fail. It would blow up in my face. And what it seemed like was the misbehavior itself was this small and my kids, and then I just poured gasoline on it by trying to explain to them what and why I was doing something. So what I'm gonna do and why I'm gonna do it, I'm going to turn off the TV now because you hit your brother. I'm going to take away this snack because you're way too hyper. I'm going to keep you home from your friend's house because you didn't do your chore. Like the what and why I was doing something. And then when I did that, I would quickly feel so exhausted, and then I'd be met with the arguing on their side, and the crying, and the screaming, and the whole meltdown about it. That really didn't need to take place in the first place, is what I've come to learn. I can positively avoid and sidestep so many tantrums throughout the day. Just by the way, I think about my kids, and I communicate with them. It is such a game changer. So that's how I kind of got onto this idea of quiet corrections and, or excuse me, quiet observations and quick corrections. That's how I got onto it. So instead of loudly observing their behavior after eating red dye and sugars, which is something we try to limit in my family, but instead of loudly observing their behavior after eating those dyes and sugars, and saying, you,'re bouncing off the walls, no more sugar for you, or I'm not buying this snack anymore because you get too hyper and aggressive when you have it, which was met with the pushback 100% of the time. If I explained it that way to my kids and I told them what and why I was doing something, it was met with pushback. It was like up for debate in their minds. Like, oh, Mom's expressing her opinion, her observation here. Let me put my observation in here too. You're unfair, you're mean. I don't like this. I just feel so tired, so tired. And then I wasn't showing up as a mom that I wanted to be. So what I decided to do was kind of test out this theory of making my observations quietly and keeping them to myself. And my kids don't need to know everything that I think, especially when they're having a hard time and wrestling with with their own bits of reality that they've grasped onto or lack of reality that they're wrestling with in their mind, they're already wrestling with all that. They don't need the weight of my observation added to it. And when we think about this as adults too, we could benefit greatly from other people keeping their opinions to themselves. Not every opinion needs to be shared. Have we learned that as adults yet? I'm sure you've experienced it when other people share their opinion, So just know the same applies to me and you and everybody else. There are some things we think that do not need to be shared. And what that's actually doing is suffocating the victim mentality when you refuse to just openly say everything and anything that you're thinking, no matter how it impacts someone else, you're suffocating your own victim mentality. And it raises your self awareness, because now we're doing more thinking before we're speaking. And we catch some of those hurtful thoughts and we become better communicators. So especially with our kids and in every relationship for our life, not every observation we make needs to be talked about. And I think there's a lot of ways in parenting and especially in marriage that there is a counter message to that. You need to say what you're thinking, you need to say what your expectations are, you need to say what you do and don't like about that. Let them know your opinion. Sometimes though, that's not helpful. It's pouring gasoline on the spark. Instead of focusing more on being a problem solver, we become problem obsessed. And then we just feel like we're swimming in problems and we're stuck here. And the victim mentality is screaming. And then everything out of our mouth sounds critical and judgmental and argumentative and like we're blaming somebody and we're constantly complaining. and that's because we're in the victim mentality. So when I made this shift, I stopped expressing all of my observations. I still expressed some, obviously. I just withheld a lot of them and I started making quick corrections. And if I noticed the hyperactivity or the aggression when they had sugary snacks and dyes, I'd think and keep it to myself, oh, this is how that food impacts them. that's good for me to know. I'll replace those snacks. And I just kept those thoughts in my head. And another example of a thought about that could be, this is why I have removed dives. Good reminder. We will have fruit and protein the rest of the day. I'll prep some snacks tonight. So I don't beat myself up. I don't guilt trip myself and say, oh, I should have had it already and I should have known, like, no, I just, make my quiet observation to myself and plan my quick correction. So my kids stopped knowing everything I was thinking and in turn were met with a much more compassionate version of myself that they felt accepted by rather than judged by, which ultimately helps their behavior improve drastically. We do the same thing as adults. When we are met with someone that we feel accepted by and nurtured by and comfortable with, We settle down faster too. We're more open minded and receptive to what this person wants to share with us. Rather than when we're judged by them, we get really defensive and put a guard up. So really when we push our kids with our opinion and observation, we teach them to push us right back. If you push your kids with your observation, you're teaching them to push you with their observation. One of my favorite parenting quotes Um, since the beginning of time, kids have struggled to listen to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. And if you just think about that for a second, it is so, so true. It's so true. So when I made this shift into quiet observations and quick corrections, it was magic. I mean, just heavenly magic. The arguments about it were gone. It was just creating a normal that my family can thrive in rather than trying to make things work. that just weren't working for us. Making the TV work, making the sugary snacks work, making this routine work, making the clothes or whatever was like causing that friction, making that work because I refused to look at it as what corrections can I be making? I was only making these loud observations that sounded a lot like complaining. And I switched it over to quiet observations and quick corrections. And I actually did the same thing with screen time. More specifically, our TV, because that's pretty much the only type of screens my kids use is the TV. So after I had my third son, I was about a few weeks postpartum, and I just wanted to rest. He was my second home birth, my third son welcoming him, and I knew a little bit more of what to expect postpartum. I personally feel pretty weak, I feel pretty tired, and I just love the newborn bubble so much. And I quickly learned with my first two, to how fast that, that you're out of the bubble. And when you rush yourself into things, you're out of it even faster than you need to be. So I wanted to stretch this time. So the first few weeks that I wanted to rest and snuggle and be slow, every day around noon, we'd sit as a family on the couch and watch a family movie. And both my husband and I work from home. So we were truly able to do this as a family. And I wholeheartedly loved it. I still cherish that time with a sleeping newborn on my chest and my two other boys were tucked in at my sides and they were just stroking their baby brother's head while he was sleeping on my chest and my feet were propped up on my husband. And like, that was my dream. That's why I love to work so hard because it gives me more time back with my family when I share the things that I'm learning and I do this work very vulnerably. I get more time with my family. And that was like a huge dream of mine. So going back, if I were to go back with my third son, I would do the exact same thing. 100%, watch that family movie every stinking day and get those snuggles in. I loved it. And, you know, after about a month, I was feeling a lot better and stronger and I wanted to be out and doing more. And I wanted my kids outside playing. So after about that month of this routine of a movie at noon every day, I also noticed that their behavior was having a very difficult time after the movie turned off. Like when it was time, the movie was over, credits roll, whatever, I would turn off the movie and my two older boys would like immediately have these meltdowns. And just, I mean, if their toes touched each other, they were just at each other's throats. They were so, it just seemed like they were so on edge. And the behavior felt really difficult and overwhelming and overstimulating for all of us as soon as that TV turned off. And they would be like, oh, I want to watch another one. And they would ask to watch another one. And again, like, I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling better. I want to outside. So when they were fighting each other and refusing to eat meals and only wanted snacks and they were pushing back on helping in the house and overall having a bad attitude, and it got me thinking about the TV routine and what that stimulation was doing, doing to them or for them. So I did a little test with myself, and I decided that without discussing it with my kids, that I would make it a point that we only watch a movie on Fridays. And I made my, I didn't even tell my husband this. I just decided on my own, like, we are going to only watch a movie on Friday, and I'm going to test this out. And, you know, I fully encourage you to talk to your spouse. do these decisions together. I was doing my own experiment. So now I do a lot of this talking with him proactively. At the time though, it was just again, a quiet observation and a quick correction. I didn't even know I was doing it. But I made my quiet observation of their struggles and the behavior and made a quick correction, movie once a week as a treat. And the next day they were expecting the movie around noon and I kept the TV off. and I went right to the backyard and I started kicking a ball around. They were promptly out there with me, and when they came back inside and said, can we watch a movie? I replied with, on Friday, today is Monday. Let's get a drink and take out the chalk. And I was so focused on, I already made my mind up. This is not up for discussion. I'm not gonna let you know all of my observations and why I'm doing this. I don't need you. to validate me, I don't need you to give me permission to make this decision as your mother. I've already decided. So I withheld all of that observation and reasoning. And remember how I just always explained like what and why I was doing this time I withheld it. So each day I do the same thing. And they'd ask, and I'd say on Friday, they'd ask for the movie and I would say on Friday. And after about a week of this change, and they're drastically improved behavior. When I say drastically improved behavior, I am a huge believer that my boys thrive with limited screen time. Like it is fascinating the difference that it makes. Call it personality. I don't know, it makes a huge difference though. So, about a week in though, we were playing outside and I said something like, Wow, I've noticed how helpful your hands have been this week. That's why I only want us to watch a movie on Friday. Less TV means more time with helping hands and having fun with your brother and your friends and me outside. So thank you for doing this with me. And it was a positive conversation where I was able to kind of let them in on this plan now that I confirmed this is what I want to do because it was a little experiment and I wanted to figure it out. And once I decided this is what I want to do, I did let them in. , on my plan and I had enough time to truly think about, what do I want them to know? Because I don't want them to think the TV is good or bad. I want them to be able to just think of a TV as a TV. It's neutral. It's just an object on the wall. I don't need to paint it as a villain or a savior in any capacity. It's just there and we use it sometimes. And it was a really positive conversation and we just talked about it neutrally and emphasized the positives of using it less. and then I stayed consistent. Even as they consistently asked me to watch it, which they did, to this day, this is three years later now, going on four years later, to this day, I give my boys the same answer on Friday. And if I want them to watch a movie during the week, then I happily turn it on. They just know that if you ask mom to turn on the TV, she'll say on Friday. and even my two-year-old knows that. So I, I love that that quiet observation and quick correction allowed me to avoid the conflict and the arguments and the pushback of sharing, like, this possibility with them before I even had it figured out. And really, the way I view it is looking to my kids for their approval and their validation and their permission when I don't need any of those things in order to parent them the way that I want to parent and show up as the mom for them that I want to be. I don't need them to say, okay, Mom, we agree. Yeah, you're right. We'll just only watch a movie on Friday because our behavior is better when we only watch a movie on Friday. What kid is going to say that? Especially under six. They're not going to say that. So another, I want to share one more quick way that I have seen this just this week work out. And I was really aware, like, this is what I'm doing is quiet observations and quick corrections. And then I'm going to walk you through that writing exercise that I really want you to do. So earlier this week, my boys were watching movies. So this is last Friday now, last Friday, my boys were watching a movie and my older sister and her two kids had just gotten in town. They're staying with us for two weeks. I'm so excited. We've been looking forward to this and having three more people in our home and two young kids into the mix. It's like a little bit of an adjustment period where I was feeling a little bit overstimulated. There's more people, there's more mess, there's more noise. There's, more conversation. And I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed too, just like meeting this new capacity. And I understood that was what I was going through. So I was very patient with myself and I still felt that way. So we had a movie on for the kids and it was Friday and our husbands were gone. So it was just my sister and I and the six kids. And my oldest son, I mean, I was feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed. I think he was too. My two-year-old, I'm pretty sure he was feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed too. My two-year-old is a skillful master at finding the boundaries of his brothers and pushing them as hard as he can a lot of times. It's actually quite masterful to just watch and admire what he comes up with to get to his brothers. Although I can see how difficult it is for his brothers, I do have an expectation of my older boys and a standard in which I want us to hold ourselves to, knowing we're not always going to meet it. And it is what I would like us to strive for. So my two-year-old was really getting after my six-year-old and he finally had enough and he hurt my two-year-old in response and his little retaliation attack. He hurt my two-year-old I decided on a quiet observation and a quick correction. And again, I was already feeling like pretty close to my wits end for the day. So I made my quiet observation and I said, come with me, buddy. And he's like, oh, stomping his feet all mad that he's, what about the movie? I'm supposed to be watching the movie. He was all upset about it. I'm like, okay, come here. And I didn't explain to him what we were doing. I didn't tell him where we were going. I didn't tell him what he was gonna do or why. I just, gave my quick correction, Come here, come with me. And I take him outside and we go out to the backyard and that's where his gardening gloves are and mine were too. So I asked him, Go to the back garden, get the gloves. And just quick, quick short, this is what I want you to do without explaining why or what, just go to the garden, get the gloves. And again, he's throwing this little attitude of, oh, but they're all watching the movie. I should be allowed to watch the movie. This isn't fair. I did not entertain that. I did not respond to that. I just asked him one thing after the next what I needed him to do. Very short, simple things for him to do. And he goes and gets the gloves, and then I get our little Home Depot buckets, and we go to the front yard. And I said, Put on your gloves and help me pull weeds in this front box. And I put on my gloves, so we're doing this together. And again, he's just like, what? I have to pull weeds? and I said, we are pulling weeds together. Put on your gloves. Oh, there's a big one right there. Pull that big one. And just one instruction after the next without my explanation of why or what the whole picture is just one instruction after the next. And I did this because I observed. I quietly observed the TV is not helping him in his best interest in what he needs right now. It's not. Being in this room with all these people and all this noise is not helping him. It's honestly not helping me very much either. So if we're both going through this and this is my quiet observation, what is a quick correction I can make? Him and I can go outside and we can pull weeds. We can work with our hands. We can be in the garden. I know it sounds like this great big punishment. I can't believe you're having your kids pull weeds. It's hard work. It's so good for them. It builds their self-esteem. Everyone feels better when they know that they're capable of completing tasks, especially tasks that involve their own work ethic. Everyone feels better doing that. So it's actually building up my kids' self-esteem, which is very important. So we get out to the garden, we're pulling weeds, and probably within, I'm not even joking, probably within one minute of him being out there pulling weeds with me in the front box and me just directing, oh, there's one, there's one, make sure you get the full root. Great job in the bucket. Do you see another one? Just like talking about the weeds, not about the TV, not about hitting his brother. Within one minute, his attitude was completely different. I mean, he pulls out one that has this huge long root. It probably had like an eight inch root to it. He's like, Whoa, look at the root on this thing. I got the whole root. And he was so pleased with himself and I was pleased with him. We were able to connect over this thing. That we're doing working hard outside, fresh air, sunlight, all the good things, helping him feel better without explaining, yes, I'm taking you away from the TV because you need to be outside to actually feel better. If I were to have said that to him in the living room, I would have been met with a bigger tantrum, a more extreme form of him pushing back. His victim mentality would have had words. to say about that. And think about it, if someone were to do the same thing to you, you would think the same way. That's not fair. That's not what I need. I need to sit down and watch the show. I mean, good Lord, how often are we justifying our behaviors and like saying we need what's easy right now, not what's ultimately for our greater good constantly. And motherhood and that whole narrative is pushed on us. So I think I'm doing my kids a huge service. Teaching them this stuff early on, even when it feels difficult for them and myself. So he's all proud of himself pulling these weeds. And it, we would probably finish the front box. We're pretty good at keeping up with the weeds. So it probably was like four minutes total at the front box. And I wanted him outside longer than that. I really, I really, I did feel disappointed in what he did with the toddler, even though you feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, like. I do want the standards set in place and I'm still processing through the way I want to talk about that with you and I do think it needs to be talked about. And I still feel disappointed in that behavior. So I wanted to keep us both outside longer. And we have another garden box up by our front porch. So he, I passed, and again, without explaining, he's like, can I go back inside and watch the movie now? My answer to that was, Grab that red shovel. It's like a little toy shovel. He's like, oh, so he grabs the red shovel. And I say, Pull out all the border from this garden. So he pulls out all the border from the garden. And I say, Take the red shovel and you're going to dig a little trench along the side of the garden. And then we're going to put the border back in so it fits correctly. It's like, okay. So he's still asking me, Can I go watch the movie? and I'm still in my quick correction mode. Like, I don't need to explain what and why I'm doing this. You need more time outside. If I tell him that, he will argue it. I just know he needs more time outside. I don't need him to agree he needs more time outside. Isn't that part of being a parent is kind of knowing what's best for our kids even when they don't want it for themselves? I think so. I absolutely think so. And that was, that's my approach is withholding the why and the what and more so just letting them experience that they're feeling better, they're feeling lighter. Maybe they don't know exactly why they're feeling lighter. They are though. So my quick correction is focused on problem solving, helping them feel lighter and more clear. and focus as the person they want to be before we go on and try and talk about things. So anyway, we finished the whole garden task and at that point we'd probably been outside for about 15 minutes. So he missed about 15 minutes of the movie. We did something helpful together. He put the garden back together. Um, I had him pull out plants that were overgrown in there and he really enjoyed that task. Pulling out the plants is so satisfying. And we finish our task. He dumps out the buckets. of dirt and weeds and plants. And then he comes back and he's okay, is the garden done? And I said, wow, bud, the garden is done. And look how great it looks because of all of your hard work. Like you made this garden look so great. And he's like, yeah, it does look so great. And I said, and now he, and this was the part that I thought was really cool too, is I could see his self-esteem was much higher. to be reminded of what a hard worker you are and how your hands do really helpful things, like fixing gardens, to taking care of your brothers. Can you promise me that you're going to use your hands to help your little brother rather than hurt him? He's like, yeah, I'll use my hands to help him. And I'm like, awesome. I know sometimes you're going to feel frustrated and so do I. That is when we walk away. You're always welcome to come find me. If Drew is still getting on you about something, come find me. I'd love to help you. if you walk away from him, then you're more likely to use your helping hands. And the conversation we were able to have about it, because he was in a state to be able to fully understand it because of the quiet observation and the quick correction, that's what the difference was. I allowed myself to just make the quiet observation in the living room and the quick correction was to take us both outside and work with our hands, have the kind of helping hands that I want him to have. So, this is something you can be so skillful at as a mother. And remember, it's the mentality, quiet observations, quick corrections. Literally say it to yourself throughout the day, quiet observations, quick corrections. Because you're teaching yourself to think like this. This isn't going to be natural. The natural is over explain myself and get defensive. Pour gasoline on little flames. That's the natural response. and what we're teaching ourselves to do is make a quiet observation, remain empowered. An empowered mind doesn't need to explain itself. If you find yourself constantly explaining, over explaining yourself and trying to just like make sure everyone thinks like you, make sure everyone knows why you did what you did. That's not an empowered mind. That's a lot of people pleasing, seeking justifications, making sure other people approve of you and accept you. You don't need to do that. Teach your brain that you agree with what you want. You approve of it, you accept it, make your quiet observation, and pursue your quick correction. So that is the mentality. Say it throughout the day. Now let's do your writing exercise. You're going to get out a sheet of paper, and then I want you to have one piece of paper for every child that you have. So I have four kids. I would have four pieces of paper. and on you're going to draw a line down the center of that paper once you have their name on there. So put their name on their own paper, then draw a line down the center of the page. On the left side of the page at the top, you're going to write quiet observations. And on the right side of the top of the page, you're going to write quick corrections. And then now you have your left and right sides. The left side is for quiet observations. The right side is for quick corrections. On the left side of the page, I want you to list out all the problematic behavior that you notice your kids have. You're going to stay neutral about it. These are your quiet observations. Just write what you have observed and you'd like to find a solution for. So this list will look negative. It will look like you're just finding all of the things that they're doing wrong. It will look negative. and it's because we are seeking solutions to what has grown to become problematic. It's okay for you to write out these things that you've observed. It's better than them just swimming in your mind and then your victim mentality latching onto them and creating this whole awful story about it. How it's not fair to you and they shouldn't be behaving like that. And how come they're not like somebody else's kid? Whatever, like the whole victim mentality comes forward. so left side lists out all of the problematic behavior that you have noticed that you want to find a solution to. And then once you have your list of quiet observations, you're going to go through each one and write a quick correction that correlates to that behavior on the right side of the page. So for example, on the left side of my page for my quiet observation, I could say screams when I turn off the TV. And then on the right side of that page, I would say, Decide a screen limit for our week. That's my quick correction. And again, I don't need to tell my kids I'm doing this. I just get to decide that because I'm the mom. And this is the type of normal I want to create for us. We are a family that has limits on technology and screens, and we use them for good and connection. Another example could sound like, the left side, remember is your quiet observation, won't eat meals I make. Okay, right side, quick correction, reduce snack options to fruit, nuts, and protein options, and include them in preparing the family meals. That could be a quick correction. Left side, let's do another example. Left side, splashing water out of the bath. Lord help me. Right side, quick correction, stay in the bathroom, like with my six year old and four year old. stay in the bathroom with them or take a shower. Set the expectation that we're taking a shower. I get to decide that I control that I'm the mom. Another example, they're hitting their siblings frequently. So that goes on the left side of the page, quiet observation, hitting their siblings frequently. Right side, quick correction, play family games where we work together and intentionally request their help in serving the other siblings. like filling up their water bottle for them, getting their shoes out for them, or putting away their pile of clothes from the laundry. I do this a lot with my two and four year old. Creating opportunities for them to serve each other truly helps them work together more cohesively and have a connection where they can build on those positives. and see each other as someone that they want to serve and know the ways to serve them. So that's just a quick tip that's helping with my boys. What you're doing though, like in this list making strategy is you're focusing solely on what you control. You're not making the list of misbehaviors to judge your kids, persecute them or rescue them. You're out of the victim mentality now. You're in an empowered state of mind. that allows you to just observe without judgment, observe it neutrally, state the thing that you would like to be able to handle better. And then on the right side, you're focused on what you're doing about it, which is in your control. I don't want you to put things that are outside of your control on the right side of that column with quick corrections. You don't control whether or not your kids are gonna eat the food, you don't control whether or not they're gonna cry if the TV is off, or if they're gonna cry if you hold your boundary, if you follow through and keep your commitment, keep your word, do the thing you say you're gonna do, you don't control if they cry about that. They may very well cry about that. And the quick correction is to truly keep my word, do the thing I said I'm gonna do, show them that I follow through. I'm a woman of my word, darn it. My words as good as gold. So thoughtfully doing this writing exercise teaches your mind to be solutions focused rather than problem obsessed. And you'll notice a huge relief because the stress of those moments greatly falls now that you have a plan of what you're actively doing about those things. The TV stuff doesn't stress me out anymore because I actively have a plan on Friday. Anytime my kids ask, Can we watch a movie? Can we watch a movie? I have the same answer. There's no decision fatigue. There's no overthinking it, arguing over explaining. That is my answer on Friday. So for you, when you use this writing exercise and you get to these quick corrections, you get to mentally rehearse seeing yourself and practicing the types of answers that you wanna be able to have and the types of solutions that you wanna be able to implement. and you'll do it so much better. So if this is the kind of work that you love to be able to do for yourself and your family, and you actually do enjoy working on yourself, you just wanna make sure you do it in a positive environment with like-minded women that want this for themselves too, then strongly consider joining my coaching membership. You can find all the details below. You can join weekly coaching calls with myself and my team hosts additional calls as well, We have topics throughout the year and I'm constantly teaching you guys mindsets and scripts and perspectives to have that greatly reduce the amount of stress and overwhelm and anxiety that you're experiencing in motherhood because your mind isn't working with you. I help you get your mind on the same page as the mom you wanna be. And I share these tools with you along the way. And sometimes we're an awesome soundboard for you. Other times we're, you know, lining up your road where we're helping to get you through whatever it is that you're at before you're at a place where you're actually sprinting in the direction that you want to go in. So it's awesome to be a part of a community that focuses on this work. And that's why I created the Mom's That Step membership. And I would love to see you there. I hope this podcast episode was helpful for you. You got lots of good takeaways and you start practicing quiet observations and quick corrections. And I truly hope to start serving you inside of my coaching membership as well. I'll see you guys later.