Shifting Your Mindset Around Motherhood with Tessa Romero

Are you looking for a space where you will learn to improve your mental strength, emotional health and heal your insecurities from the inside out? Take the first step to living a more meaningful life with the better Me with Body by Bri Podcast. I'm your host, Bre. I'm a certified personal trainer, entrepreneur and mother of three. I've helped empower thousands of women to take action through fitness, nutrition, meditation, personal development, and aligning thoughts with action. This podcast is for those who are ready to feel inspired and motivated to live a more purposeful life. Let's Grow together have you ever struggled with negative thoughts around motherhood? Do you feel like you're struggling to find the joy and happiness that everyone talks about? You are not alone. It's normal to have hard seasons of life, but it's not fun to live there. I found Tessa on Instagram and she helped so many mothers shift their mindset around motherhood so they're able to claim their own power back and have more control over their life and their emotions. Tessa is a wife and mother of two boys, as well as being the creator of Mind Body Alignment, a course that coaches women through a journey of self discovery and healing to have powerful and sustainable changes in their overall mindset. She she feels strongly that you do not control your circumstances, but you do control what you think about them. And controlling your mindset is an incredible way to navigate your circumstances. In this podcast episode, you'll learn how to shift your mindset when common negative thoughts arise, the power you have over your own thoughts and emotions, and how you can thrive in motherhood and enjoy the journey. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast, Tessa. I'm so excited you're here.

Thanks Bri. I was excited when you reached out to me and it's going to be so fun talking to your community about mindset. I'm really looking forward to it.

I know I Before our call I was telling Tessa like I'm a seven on the enneagram and I really gravitate towards people who are positive as well. Like I just am so gravitated towards you because you're amazing at what you do and people might not know what you do.

So.

So can you tell me what made you want to start your Instagram centered around helping moms create a positive mindset in motherhood? Absolutely.

So I've always loved mindset because like we were talking about before call, you know, you don't control your circumstances, you control what you think about them. And throughout my entire life and hardships that I'VE been through, even the trauma that I've had to learn to heal from, it's always felt so empowering that. Well, no, I didn't control that. What happened to me or what my kids are doing or what some strangers said. Like, I don't control any of those things, but I control who I am and what I think and what I do. And to me, that is just, like, incredibly empowering. But what really started my account to shift this way, because I've had this. It's. It started as my personal account, like, I've always had this account, but I started shifting it to mindset because I. I just felt like there was this overwhelming negativity around motherhood in the Instagram space, and it. What is that about? It just felt so discouraging. Every time I opened the app, there was like another real. And I get it. Like, they're chat like, there's. There's humor to it, and the intention isn't what's actually happening. You know, the intention is this is funny and it's relatable, but what's actually happening is it's. It's breathing negativity. And maybe one mom didn't think that about her kids, but then she saw the real, and she's like, oh, my God, my kids are annoying. They are a holes. This is hard, and I can't do it. And it's like, those aren't even her thoughts. Like, she literally got that from the influences on social media. And regardless if they're meant to be funny or not, I just. I don't think it's funny. I don't think it's funny to see moms having such a hard time when we're not victims.

That's the thing.

Like, our kids don't throw tantrums to piss us off.

Right?

That's not what they're doing. So I just decided with my platform, I was like, you know what if all this negativity and poor me and, you know, everything's happening to me is super trendy, I'm just going to do the opposite. I'm going to show everybody, literally step by step, how I avoid that, how I sidestep that. Because, yes, I have negative thoughts, too, but we all do. It's a healthy part of mental wellness to have negativity. But I just teach it more as, like, negativity is a flashing light. It's saying, hey, this isn't working. This is a problem. Let's fix this. And the problem is that we live with these flashing lights instead of fixing them. Like, we stop seeing them as messages, and we start seeing them as. Well, this is just the way I am. Well, no, it's always meant to be just a message. So on my account, I decided that, you know, I could just be a positive account. I could just show the exact opposite. There's enough relatability. There's enough humor. There's enough complaining out there. I don't need to do that, and I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do the exact opposite. So that's kind of how it all started.

Well, and I think that's why it is such a breath of fresh air, because it's so polarized opposite of what you see every day. And it kind of gets old. It does. Like, it's like, enough. Like, let's find the joy. Like, this is your situation. This is what it's happening, whether you like it or not. So let's make it positive, you know, like, let's shift the lens through which we see. And I think that's why your account has. I just looked at it the other day. I was like, whoa. Like, holy moly. She grew so fast. Because I think, like, deep inside us, women want that. They want to see the light. They want to see the hope. They want to feel, you know, positive in motherhood, and that's what they're kind of looking for. And so I think it's just amazing what you're doing. It's so good. Thank you.

And I agree. Like, I don't think we want to not enjoy our lives. I don't think we want to spend the next 18 years with our kids in our homes hating every second and dreading it and complaining. Like, I don't think anybody wants that. I just think people don't know how to do it differently. And my goal is just to teach. Well, here's how you can do it differently if you want. I'm not judging. You want to complain. You want to be the victim. You want to hate every second of motherhood, that's fine. I'm not judging. I'm just showing that there is another side. There's always, always, always another perspective.

Yes. I love that. So in your Instagram reels, you like, your. Your thing that you do, which I love, is you'll have thoughts that creep into your mind. Maybe they're like, the negative thoughts that. And which a lot of people actually don't even realize that they're having those negative thoughts. It becomes so habitual that it's just what you say like, there was one and you were cleaning and you were like, of course I have to clean this. Of course this falls on me. Yes, of course they're going to come in and ruin this entire mess. Why do I even try? And it's like, you just have these habitual thoughts in your head. Most people don't recognize those thoughts. They just let it happen. And so then you turn those thoughts into a positive. What you would say, so what are some of the things that you would switch those negative mindsets to?

So, like, turning them around to the.

Positive, like, if someone hasn't seen your reel, Like, I'm trying to explain what you do.

Okay. Yeah. So pretty much like most negative thoughts have. Like you said, they're habitual. They're really. There's a pattern to them. Like, almost always you can find some type of pattern with yourself. And maybe you notice that most of your negative thoughts, when you're paying attention and you catch them, start with, of course. Of course this happens to me. Of course you did this. Of course the car battery dies. Of course my kids are yelling in the grocery store. Of course my husband's late.

It's.

It's like if you. If I catch a thought personally that starts with of course, I honestly just start laughing because I already know that it's negative. Like, I already know. So if I were to, like, be making a real. About my kids, like, making a mess in their room after I had just cleaned their room, and it goes through the negatives, like, of course you just made a mess after I cleaned it. And I can never get anything done because of you or you never listen to me and do the things that I ask you to do. Well, swapping it to the positives, I'm simply just shifting it to another perspective in a really gentle way. So I never say moms are wrong for thinking the way they think or feeling the way they feel. I simply just show, like, if this is your thought of, of course you made a mess. It could be, wow. I came in here and you've been playing so quietly. Like you are getting creative in here. And I appreciate that about you. And really just focusing more on the good. I'm always trying to highlight the good. The good is your kid is playing in their room with the toys. They're exploring their creativity. They are their own independent people. Like, when they're not listening to us or we're teaching the same lesson over and over and over. And that feels frustrating. The only reason why it feels frustrating to teach the lesson isn't because you've taught it before. It's because of your thoughts about doing it again, not because you're doing it. That's how powerful the mindset is.

Right.

And who are we to decide how quickly our kids learn something? And that's a perspective. So with the right perspective of, I don't need to control how fast you learn something. My job is to teach, and I can teach this lesson. I've taught it before, I can teach it again. And with that mindset, you no longer feel the resentment, the frustration. So that's really how I make my reels is. I mean, I get a lot of suggestions and requests, but mostly it's just. I'm just living my life, and any given circumstance that I experience could be taken in a negative way. And that's why it's like, I. I never run out of ideas because there's always negativity.

That's why they're so relatable, because it's like, you can tell, like, oh, yep, I've done that one before. I've done that one before. Yeah. So do you have those negative thoughts? Do you still have those? I know you're always trying to shift them, but do you still ever experience that?

Definitely.

Definitely.

Yes, absolutely. And to me, it's more of like, it's now become like a game almost. So I. I don't feel defeated when I have a negative thought. I catch it and I'm like, okay, well, what am I going to do about this? How am I going to change this? Because I know this isn't serving me. And if I'm feeling frustrated towards my kids again, it's like that. It's like an exercise. It's not. I don't view it as this negative.

Thing, and I'm a bad mom.

It's an exercise. This is my opportunity because mindset. My mindset says this is my opportunity to understand why I feel this way. Because my kids don't control how I feel. I do. So why do I feel this way about them? Oh, I'm only focusing on the. The arguing that happened in the last five minutes. But I completely forgot about how we all made breakfast together and that was so great. Or my ability to take us all on a walk and really change the energy in the environment so I'm not stuck, like, really just focusing on. When it comes to my own negative thoughts, the empowered approach I can take to change something, to do something differently, or to think something different and never believe that I'm stuck with them. But like I said, negativity is a healthy part of mental wellness. I don't want anyone's negativity to completely go away because then how would we solve problems? Like, how do we even know there's.

A problem in our life, Right.

If we couldn't identify it?

Right. And I think it's just our humanness, like we will have that side. It's just what you do with it.

And it's easy and it's addicting.

It is, it is. Definitely. So why do you feel it's so important to have a positive outlook in, in our day to day responsibilities of being a mother?

I view it this way. It's a choice, right. And I'm not judging anybody if they would rather approach a tantrum with a negative mindset that says, I can't do this, I, I can't handle this. If you want to think that way, I mean, I'm not going to encourage you, but whatever, I can accept it. So if we are approaching a tantrum with a negative mindset, so our child's throwing a tantrum and your negative mindset says, I can't handle this. Well, what would be better for you to tell yourself and really believe in that moment that you can't handle it, or this is something I can handle. And to condition your mind to understand that like, although the circumstances outside of my control, I control what I do about it and I have options and I'm not stuck and this will pass. Like, I think it's so much more important the way that we're talking to ourselves than, you know, being relatable to what everybody else thinks about a tantrum. You know, if you don't like the way you handle tantrums, the first thing you have to change is the way you think about tantrums. And then you would change the way that you handle them. But I just, I think it's so much more empowering for women to handle any situation with positivity. And that doesn't mean finding the bright side to a tantrum and finding the silver lining to your husband late from work or like terrible things that happen in our lives. That's not how I view approach positivity. I approach positivity as you're kind to yourself and you believe in your abilities to handle the hard things. And your whole life gets so much easier when you do that. So that's why I think it's so important to have that positive outlook.

I love that answer. Man, you're good, Tessa. This is why you're so good. Okay, so do you ever get backlash on the Internet from moms who feel like, no, I can't change. You live in a bubble. You're too positive. It's annoying. Do you ever get that? Yeah.

So I actually have a long list of people that I've blocked on social media. Because why would they keep following you.

Then if they're gonna just say mean things that I.

Seriously, that I. I just. I don't get it. Like, I honestly believe that if someone continues to follow me after they feel extremely frustrated by my content and they lash out on me, they're addicted to their own stress.

Right. They're like.

And I am their source of getting that fix. Even though I don't know this person, I definitely don't create my content with them in mind. It has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with them. So if I ever experience backlash, I know that hurt people.

Hurt people.

And like you mentioned, nobody wants to feel that way in their daily life. Nobody wants to feel out of control. And, like, we have no power and no say, and we. We're the victims. Like, I mean, when you say it out loud, nobody wants that. Yet so many people live this way. So when I'm showing the other side, yeah, that can feel really frustrating to look at and hear and see someone else living in a way that maybe you want to live. And I've experienced those feelings too, for sure. I mean, you could even relate that to fitness. Like, you feel frustrated by seeing someone else reach their fitness goals because that's what you want.

Well, right.

That has nothing to do with that person. Has everything to do with you.

Right.

So personally, I. If someone is just completely unkind, I block people. That's the best way for me to handle it, because I know that it's not my job to change their mind, and I'm not going to waste my energy trying to do so when they're just, again, addicted to their own stress and they're just looking for that fix. I am not the source of their fix. You know, I'm not a drug dealer, so sorry.

Yes. Well, and. And, like, the reason why I bring this up is because I've seen this so many times in my life where if somebody feels uncomfortable by someone else excelling or being successful or, in your case, being positive, it, I believe, is a mirror on everything that they're not doing. And when they're not willing to change, they just get angry about it. And so, like, if the. If this sets you off, if you're a mom and this sets you off, or you're like, well, of course she can be positive. Look at her. She's cute, she's fit, she has beautiful children. She probably has a loving husband. She doesn't even have any trials in her life. Like, you know, like, what would you say to someone if they're like, she. Everything works out for her? Of course she's can be positive. She doesn't know what I've gone through.

Yeah. I personally don't say anything to them. Like, again, I know no matter if I say, well, I actually grew up with a pedophile and my dad died when I was 6 years old and I woke up to that in the morning. Like, I have varicose veins and a vulva, varicosity during my pregnancies. Like, I, I have terrible family relationships in some dynamics, like with family members. So I, I know that it's not a competition of hardship. I know that. So if, if someone really thinks, like, well, she just has it so easy because xyz, like, come on, right? It's not like that for anybody. We all have our trials. We all have our hardship. And I believe that all hard is valid and nobody wins when it's a competition. You don't feel better by trying to make someone else feel like they have it so easy and have nothing to complain about.

Right.

And. And you don't feel better if someone else make, like, tries to paint you in that way. So personally, I don't. I don't explain myself to anyone because it's more about my relationship with myself is what I've learned. Like, I used to try and seek so much validation from social media before I started doing mindset swaps and really finding, like, my groove here. It was, it was like, never enough. And now I'm like, I don't care. I know who I am. I. I know that I'm doing this in an act of service because I care and I have great intentions and I don't need any. Everyone in their mom to like me or approve of me or share my content to know that it's valuable. Like, yes, I'm doing good work and that's what matters to me. And really, like, hurt people hurt people, right? So if someone's attacking me, they're the hurt person trying to hurt somebody, and I'm the healed person that can take that. You know, go ahead, say what you're going to say. I can heal whatever you throw at me because I know how. You don't know how to heal your hurt. And that sucks. Like, I have so much empathy for them. Because I also know what it's like to not know what to do with your hurt. So then you project it. But bre. Like you were saying, it's this mirror. And that's not just true with insecurity. Like, the way we view other people is always a perception of how we view ourselves. So if we're seeing the best in people, we. We're conditioned to see the best in ourselves. If we're seeing the worst in people, we're conditioned to see the worst in ourselves. Like, so, yeah, it's a mirror. It's a perception, and it goes both ways. So if you start healing the relationship with yourself, you will have more empathy for other people, regardless of how they treat you. Cause you don't control that part.

Yes. It's so funny that you say that, because talking about mindset shift, I have one friend, and every single person that she comes across, it's like, oh, my gosh, look how cute they are. Look how good they're doing their business. Oh, I'm so proud of them. Look how amazing they are. And then. And then I have another friend, and everyone they see, they're like, oh, that is so annoying. Like, of course they just think that they're doing so well. Like, they just have to rub it in our face, and it's like the same person.

Yeah. And it's just fun.

Funny how that's how they see themselves. It's so true. It's just a reflection of how you are feeling about yourself, is how you see other people. So I love how you touch on that mental shift.

Yeah.

So I have to tell you, congratulations on your pregnancy. I was reading. So if you guys don't know, Tessa's pregnant with her third baby, which is your rainbow baby. Right?

Right. That's right.

You're pretty open about. About that fact that this is your rainbow baby. And I was reading some of the questions that people were asking, like, hey, are you nervous to have a third? Like, do you have any. Any fears? You know, that maybe. What if you miscarry again? And I was just taken back by your answers because I was like, man, so many women could benefit from hearing, like, you're just so wise. So can you share what you. What you. How you feel about that whole situation? I know so many. I have a lot of my friends who have recently miscarried as well. And so I think it just would help a lot of moms to hear.

Yeah. And I honestly wish someone would have had this perspective when I was going through my miscarriage and Moving on. But, like, I've never heard it from someone else. Like, and that's the thing. Like, we have the answers we need within us. It's just a matter of healing and vulnerability and really feeling your way through things and taking that full ownership of yourself instead of letting other influences tell you what to think about your experiences. So, first of all, with the miscarriage, I didn't want that to happen. I don't think anyone says, I want this miscarriage to happen. So I didn't want that to happen. That happened in October. Completely caught me off guard. We had already been trying for several months to conceive, which again, was a trial that I didn't experience with my first two. So that was already like a mental game because I hadn't been through that. So we already went through this trial of trying for a few months. And then I had my miscarriage. And I was only four weeks, but we had told all of our family that Sunday because we were just so excited. So we told all of our friends that Sunday, and then I had a miscarriage Monday morning at like 4 in the morning.

Sad.

Yeah. It was just like, right there. And my first thoughts as, like, I'm having my miscarriage and like, I. My first thoughts were, I'm never gonna have another baby. I can't trust my body. My. There's something wrong with my body. And my mind was just going wild, like, with so much negativity that isn't true. It's not true. You know, I. I could have a miscarriage and still have another baby. I can trust my body because a miscarriage is a sign that my body knows something's going on that I don't know about. So personally, I view my miscarriages like more trust, more faith in my body. When honestly, like, every other influence that I've heard says that they don't trust their body because of the miscarriage. And I'm like, I view it the opposite personally. This is just personal, like, my personal mindset that helps me, and it's okay if you don't think this way, but it totally serves me in my healing to say, like, this is my. This is my chance to strengthen my trust in my body and my relationship and just slow down, take care of it, and only focus on my efforts. So that was the second part. When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't think I was pregnant. I truly still thought that there's something wrong with my body. And I hadn't gotten my period back since the miscarriage. And I Was telling my husband. I'm like, there's something wrong. I need to get my hormones tested. I just. I just know there's something wrong. Something's off. And he was like, will you just take a pregnancy test? I'm like, no, I'm not about to spend $15 on a pregnancy test to tell me what I already know. So, yeah, I was, like, super against it. Anyway, I ended up taking the test, and I didn't even look at it. I just put it down before the results came up, and my husband was so excited, and he was like, you're.

Not gonna look at it?

And I was like, no, I don't want to see the words not pregnant. Like, mentally, I don't need that. And he was like, well, can I look at it? And I was like, I don't care. And he was like, really? And I was like, I've looked at every single pregnancy test before. You have at it. Like, go ahead.

Yeah.

And anyway, so it. It ended up turning up pregnant, but he told me it was not pregnant, and he was hoping that after he said that I would go look at the test myself. And all I said was, I know I already knew I wasn't pregnant, and I just, like, expected it in that moment. And then a few minutes later, he pretended like he left for work. And then he walked me back to the bathroom after I found out, like, he's still here. Why is he still here? And I still didn't think I was pregnant. I was like, did you find my wedding ring? Because my wedding ring was also lost at that time. And he walked me back to our bathroom, and it says pregnant. I just started bawling. Like, all of that. All of that front that I didn't even know my. Really, my ego is doing of just, like, you know, this doesn't hurt me. I've accepted it. I know I'm not pregnant. You know, whatever it says not pregnant, I don't care. But as soon as I saw the word pregnant, I freaking lost it. And I'm not. I'm not responsive that way with my emotions. So that was new. But anyway, moving through this pregnancy, there is a. There's obviously a fear of loss, right?

And.

And what the. What my miscarriage taught me, again, it wasn't an experience I wanted, but it's a lesson that I needed. I did not realize was taking pregnancy for granted again. I didn't struggle with my first two. It was, boom, you're pregnant. Here's your baby, and here we go. And then with this one, there Was there was weight and then there was loss. And I just. I didn't realize I was taking pregnancy for granted, but I totally was. And with this pregnancy, I'm like, okay, I'm not going to take it for granted. Like, I'm. I'm really going to enjoy this process however long it is. And that was the second part is like, I realized that I had almost this entitlement of, well, I should get pregnant because I want to be pregnant. Well, no, like, that. That's a wrong thought. That's wrong. So correcting that thought to accept, like, if my body gets pregnant, then yes, I will be pregnant. But I don't control my body. I control my efforts. So this whole pregnancy has just been an emphasis on, you know, my efforts. Like, yeah, I could honestly have a miscarriage tonight. I know that. But I feel so at peace, which I didn't know I could experience especially quickly. Like, it's only been a few months, but I feel really at peace with whatever happens because I've gained this understanding of, like, I love this baby so much and I don't have conditions on my love for this baby. So this baby doesn't have to come earthside. It doesn't have to take a single breath. It doesn't have to grow a day more. And I will love it, like, unconditional. And the baby that passed, like, I love that baby. And it's not. I'm not going to feel like. I mean, I just refuse to put myself through this story of all of the would have beens and could have beens and.

Yeah.

And things just out of my control. That's the bottom line, is it's not in my control. I control the story I tell myself. So the story I'm telling myself is I love this baby. For as long as I have this baby, I will be the best mother to this baby that I possibly can be because this baby deserves it. And not taking my pregnancy for granted, like, I didn't even realize I was doing so beautiful lessons have come to me because of the experience I didn't want, but it gave me lessons that I didn't even know I needed. And then what's also just really helped me is, like, that acceptance of, like, my efforts. Like, I don't control outcomes. I don't control when the baby's going to come, if I go to term or not, if I have a miscarriage or not. I don't control any of that. I just control my efforts. And finding, like, tremendous peace there has helped me so much from Experiencing the miscarriage, loving my body through that and trusting my body through that. And I am very fortunate to have gotten pregnant right after my miscarriage. I know people that have had several miscarriages in a row, like, but the. The circumstance is out of your control. What you think about it is in your control.

Yes, that.

Like it. Honestly, it's not. It's not a competition of hardship of, well, who had the most miscarriages, who has it worse, who has it harder? All hard is valid, and nobody feels better. Putting down someone else's heart, like, right. That doesn't help us heal. So anyway, I. I have gained, like, tremendous Just. Just acceptance and lessons that I didn't know that I needed through experiences that, I mean, I wouldn't choose for myself. But you don't get to pick your experiences.

You.

Right, you get dealt the cards, and then you decide how to play them. But that's kind of what. What helps me through the miscarriage and. And honestly, just feeling accepting and at peace with loss because I don't control it. I mean, I definitely wouldn't choose it for my children. Right, right. So just letting myself have that has helped me a lot.

Man, I love hearing how you like looking at a hard thing that happened in your life and how you overcome it. Because I think just seeing it in real time, you know, like, oh, she's going through something hard. Like, it's okay that she had these thoughts and look at how she shifted them. That helps. That helps so many people. Okay, I have two more questions for you. What do you do when you're overwhelmed and you just want. Like those days where you just want to pull the covers over your head, just curl up in a ball, like, what do you do on those days?

So I understand about myself and all of my clients that I work with is my overwhelm comes from me and my thoughts, because thoughts create feelings. So if I'm feeling overwhelmed, the problem isn't my life and all the things outside of my control. The problem is my thoughts about my life and all the things outside of my control. So the first thing that I always do is check my thoughts. And if I'm, like, so overwhelmed in a moment that I just can't even tap into the thoughts, then I intentionally start with affirmations. This is something I can handle. I'm doing the best I can. Hard moments, great days, just like, anything that I know just helps me feel a little bit more grounded. And then if I'm feeling overwhelmed in my home, I go for a walk. I do Something that just helps me, again, down, regulate myself. Because usually when I'm personally overwhelmed, I'm too up regulated. I'm too much up here, and I just need to come back down. So movement's a great way that I love to downregulate exercise. That's why I love exercise so much, is it just gives me this great baseline and to feel more in control. But, yeah, there's totally times that I feel overwhelmed, like I said. I mean, I have two kids, I'm pregnant with my third. My husband works, I work. I have a podcast, an email list, a business. Like, there's so many things, but the only time I ever feel overwhelmed in my business is when my mind is lying to me, saying, I have to do this and I have to do this and I have to do this instead of, I get to do this. I don't have to do that. I can pause my podcast for a week, like, nothing's falling apart around, you know, and like, just grounding myself. But there. There are totally times that overwhelm comes in. But once you understand that it's. It's you, it's your thoughts that are doing it, you just feel really empowered to say, like, okay, brain, how about a little mind game? How about you stop being the one in control and I start taking over? Because, like, your mind's not the master.

You are right.

There's so much power there. So I always lean into, like, what is in my control, what are my thoughts that are not serving me and how can I change them? And then physically, what is something I can do right now that helps me? And usually it's going outside, but we also live in Utah, so sometimes it's like snowing or a productive task. That's like, a productive task always helps me feel way better.

I love that. So what would you say is the number one piece of advice you want to leave our listeners with?

I feel like I say the same thing whenever someone asks you that question. But honestly, decide who you are before someone else decides for you. Like identity. I know I talk so much about mindset, but identity steers mindset. It's like your anchor. So when we're constantly telling ourselves, I am overwhelmed, I am stressed, I am anxious, I am resentful, I am negative. That's where your mindset is getting its information from. It's like, well, this is who I am, so this is the way I'm going to think. This is the game plan that I have, because it's who we are. So that's. That's always just like, my biggest piece of advice is just like, change the I am statement, decide who you want to be, and build I am statements around that. And it makes building a mindset that supports you so much easier because you're changing who you believe you are.

Oh, that is so powerful. I'm so glad that you mentioned that.

Yeah, it helps.

Man, so many golden nuggets. Tessa, thank you so much. I. I can't thank you enough. I feel like you are going to help so many women and you already help so many women. I'm just so grateful for you and your message and I'm excited for your home birth. You're my hero. I'm gonna be following along that one.

And see how it goes. Yeah. I did a home birth with my second.

Yeah. The true test is if you do it again, like, the fact that you want to do it again, I'm like, okay. She really is a superhero.

I just. I really do love it.

It.

It's so empowered, especially with the right support. Like, it really is the best thing. And honestly, it's just this beautiful opportunity to really trust your body. Right. And let your body do its job and. And what you believe it can do. And it is like, absolutely a mind. It's. It's all a mind game because your body already knows what to do. It's your mind that needs to shut up.

Right? Man. If you guys want to see more of her home birth, she has, like, post all about it and she talks all about it. It's super interesting. My friend, one of my really good friends here is getting ready for her home birth too. And I'm like, that's so exciting. Yes. She's like. She's like, telling me she's going to do the home birth, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited for you. That's going to be amazing. She's like, would you ever do that? I'm like, no. But the more that I see more women do it, the more I'm like, oh, like, maybe I could do that. You know, like, it's just funny how you just put limits on yourself. Like, oh, no, I can never do that. And then you start seeing other women do it. You're like, well, maybe, like, it's so cool. So anyway, I'm really.

Exercise and nutrition and what you really hit on is the same way we. We limit ourselves with our limiting beliefs, with our mindset, and it. It totally messes us up. But once you, like, break past those, you're like, oh, my God, I could do so much.

I can do this. Like, I'm stronger than I think.

Yeah.

Once you break through that plateau.

Huh?

Wow. Well, thank you so much. Can you tell our listeners where they can find you if they want to, like, learn more from you?

Yeah, absolutely. So I have my Instagram account. Essaromero is my Instagram. I have a podcast called Mind Body Alignment and I have a coaching program that's 12 weeks long. I coach you through seven modules that help you with your mindset, but take you through a journey of self discovery and healing to change your mindset. Instead of just like the surface level stuff, we get really, really deep in there. It's such a beautiful thing. But because I'm pregnant and I'm due in July, I'm only running that course one more time. Enrollment will open for it on 15th, and the best way to find the links for that is through my Instagram or my email list, which you can also find on my Instagram. But that's available March 15th for the last one of this year before I just gear up for baby and mom mode and all the good things.

Yay. And I will put all of that in the show notes as well so that they can access all of that. So, yeah. All right, thank you so much, Tessa. I will talk to you later.

Okay, thanks so much, Br. See you later.

Tessa has a group coaching program called Mind Body Alignment that's designed to walk women through a journey of self discovery and healing so you can release parts of you that no longer align with who you want to be and practice a daily mindset that supports. This program is perfect for women looking to finally understand why you do what you do and step away from shame and negativity as you learn who you really are. How to build a mindset that supports you and heal the shame of your past with self forgiveness and real self love. The group coaching is 12 weeks long and includes all of the coursework to work on each week with PDF material and video modules. Tessa meets with the group twice a week to discuss concepts, answer questions, and bring the community together with real vulnerability. You'll have lifetime access to everything, including the 12 week course, as well as the recordings from each group coaching session. Signups for mindbody alignment open March 15th. This is your last chance to enroll for 2022 and you can use the code BRI100 for $100 off the enrollment cost. I'll include the link in our bio notes if you're interested. Thank you for joining us in today's episode. If you liked the content and want to hear more, remember to hit that subscribe button and write a review. As a small business owner, I appreciate it more. More than you know. If you are looking for a program to help with self confidence to lose weight, get in shape and work on your mental, physical and emotional health, check out my training programs on www.bodybybre.com. my team and I help to hold you accountable through the Body Bybre app where you log in to see all your workouts, custom meal plan made specifically for you and your needs, and communication through the messenger. You are never alone when you're on the Body by Breath training program. Click the link in the show notes to get more information on how to transform your life from the inside out.