Sexual desire comes in two types: spontaneous, which appears randomly, and reactive, which only happens in response to a partner's touch. If you have reactive desire, tell your partner so they don't think you're uninterested. Use cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to build the mood before sex.
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And welcome back, you nasties! If you're new here, no, I'm not really talking about yoga. If you're waiting to be in the mood for yoga before engaging in yoga time, this might be why it's not happening for you. And a quick disclaimer that this is not the case for every single person. A lot of people don't understand that there are different types of desire, and some people experience desire spontaneously, seemingly out of nowhere and for no reason, while other people experience desire as something that's reactive, which means that this doesn't happen on its own just randomly, but rather as a reaction to their yoga partner. If you're someone who experiences reactive desire, it's really important to vocalize this to your partner, especially if your partner experiences spontaneous desire, because often the person with spontaneous desire will personalize the fact that you're not in the mood. But really, this has nothing to do with your partner specifically. So here's how I would recommend moving forward to make sure that you're getting into the mood and able to experience these wonderful moments with your yoga partner. Cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging— all of these physical touch aspects can lead someone with reactive desire into the mood of wanting to engage in yoga time. So again, if you're reactive, you want to express that to your partner. You can even show them this video if you want. You need to experience a little bit of that closeness before you're in the mood. Some people don't need that, and that's okay as well. But it's really important to know yourself. So put this into practice. If your yoga partner is in the mood for a yoga session and you're not quite there, it's okay to express that you're not quite there, that maybe you're open to hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or something like that. And if that feeling doesn't quite strike sometimes, even after you've done those things, that's okay as well. Take a deep breath and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. That pressure is not conducive to a healthy intimate connection with another person. Till next time, stay spicy.
