Angel ArditoSex Educator, Relationship Coach

Is Your Boyfriend's Instagram Following A Red Flag? 🚩😳

18 Feb 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:18

In this YouTube relationship‑advice segment, a 22‑year‑old woman asks whether it’s justified to feel disgusted and insecure after discovering that her 25‑year‑old boyfriend follows many risqué, active Instagram accounts, some featuring women with “perfect bodies.” She notes that the accounts are still followed despite the three‑year relationship and that his frequent Instagram use intensifies her discomfort. The adviser validates her feelings, emphasizing that it’s normal to feel upset when a partner’s online activity triggers insecurity. The response stresses the importance of communicating boundaries, listening to a partner’s emotional needs, and watching for gaslighting. If the boyfriend dismisses or invalidates her concerns, the adviser suggests that the relationship may be unhealthy and possibly worth ending. The overall message balances empathy for the asker’s emotions with practical guidance on setting expectations and evaluating relationship health.

Chapters

"My 25 male boyfriend follows a lot of risqué accounts on Instagram. Am I, 22 female, allowed to feel bad about that? For some context, we've been in a relationship for almost 3 years now. I never felt the need to go through his following like I have heard other people do until now. I'm not quite sure why I felt the urge, but I immediately regretted it. I feel disgusted with the kinds of accounts he follows, although a lot of those may be from before we got together. I do not follow any types of accounts that he does. Your following is very public, and to me it feels grimy to still be following stuff like this when you you're in a relationship. I don't really know how to feel right now. The main thing I feel is absolute disgust. I also checked, a lot of the accounts are very active, so it's not like he followed them years ago and forgot they exist due to inactivity. He's on Instagram a lot, so it makes me feel even worse. It makes it significantly worse because all of the girls have perfect bodies that I will never be able to accomplish. Yes, you're allowed to feel the way that you feel. If you've talked to him and told him that this hurts your feelings and makes you uncomfortable and he's refusing to acknowledge that or gaslighting you, then that's a different discussion, and perhaps that's a relationship that you need to leave. I don't think that following certain accounts is objectively bad or good, but I am a firm believer in listening to your partner's feelings and actively trying to accommodate them.