A 35-year-old woman describes her husband's escalating violence: smashing frames, ripping doors, threatening to break her neck. After he started using testosterone, he threw patio chairs off a balcony. She called the police and her therapist told her to leave with their almost-2-year-old son.
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I, 35, female, had to call the police on my husband, 40, male. I called the police on my husband after he smashed picture frames, ripped a door off its hinges, and chucked my phone as I was trying to call for help. And in front of my almost 2-year-old. We've been married for 5 years. My husband struggles with substance abuse and I've had to call the police for him pushing me before. I've had to Narcan him back to breathing. We also lost our roommate to an overdose right before he left for rehab. He went to rehab for his use while I moved out and got a new house where drugs were not allowed. I took him back after he completed his 30 days with the boundaries that he never use again. 30 days is nothing. 30 days is not enough. No one changes in 30 days. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like, I know that when you're going through it with someone who has addictions, it is so hard because you just have this picture in your mind of who they are, who they could be, and you really hold on to that and you grasp onto it. But 30 days is not enough, my dude. This July, he started becoming violent after starting testosterone. The violence started on vacation with his family, where he threw patio chairs off the balcony of our Airbnb. He scared his niece off and his family, but they always just excused the behavior. There were 3 more incidents along the same lines, last one telling me he would break my neck. Get out! That's horrifying. And then tonight, I've been begging him to stop the testosterone, go back to his group for therapy, and all in all, start treating me and his son better. He always just puts the blame back on me, telling me I'm hard to deal with. I'm a stay-at-home mom with a son, so I started exploring options with my therapist about what comes next if this becomes unbearable. It already is unbearable. This should already be unbearable. You have a 2-year-old son who's watching his father belligerently fly into rages and throw shit and break shit and threaten you that he's gonna break your neck in front of your 2-year-old son. Your son is not too young to be absorbing this. He's absorbing it emotionally, physically, spiritually. He's absorbing it. It should already be unbearable. This is past the line. This is so far past the line. I told him I had a consultation this coming week after he went off on me again, and that's when he absolutely lost it. I called the police. I never wanted it to get this far, but I can't let him do this in front of my son. Did I do the right thing? Yes, you did the right thing. Um, yes, you did the right thing by calling the police, and you're going to hopefully do the next right thing by leaving and getting the hell out of there and taking your son with you. This is not a safe environment for anyone involved. God, I I'm so sorry for some of the things that some people go through. Like, this is— it's just no joke. It's no joke. Substance abuse is no joke. Testosterone is no joke. And violence and children and family, like, it's all— it's all here, and it's so sad. And I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
