Relationship Chaos: Reacting to Wild Reddit Drama

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, my name is Angel Ardito and I am your local spicy coach. I like to talk about everything that has to do with sex and relationships, basically anything under the sun. I'm interested in talking about it, and because I like to blab, I got myself a camera and a microphone. Once a week I like to read Reddit threads. I just feel like it's entertaining. It's fun for me, even if it's not what you guys want to see. I like to do it. Basically what I do is I just open up my Reddit and I scroll and I read to you what I come across. So today I'm going to be taking a gander at the Am I Overreacting subreddit. I think I'm gonna do that today because that's just what's calling out to me. Basically by that I mean it's like what I feel interested in reading about today. So let me grab my phone. I'm gonna lay back for a second because my back is killing me. Okay, let's Am I overreacting? All right, here we go. This one was literally just posted. It literally says now. Is that going to focus? Okay, never mind. It says, am I overreacting? Guy admitted to me after I hugged him that he got a boner. I don't know why that's something that would need to be said, but let's read it. Okay. I, female 22, have a guy friend, male 21, who really likes me, but I don't like him back. Currently, I've been trying to give him a chance as well as allow myself to try to get to know him better so as to gauge how compatible he is. We do have a lot of similarities, which made it very possible for something to happen, which is why I tried really hard to connect with him. Often when we are together, he requests to hug me. I don't like hugging men that aren't a part of my family, and I had no desire to hug him, but I did so to try to push myself to connect with him more. One time I hugged him, he went to the bathroom, which I thought nothing of. A bit later, he said to me in public, do you know why I ran to the bathroom? It's because I got an erection. I think I laughed, but later when I thought about it, it really grossed me out and made me feel even more uncomfortable to touch him again. Am I overreacting to think this way? This could just be me, but I don't know why I would need information on the state of anyone's erection at all. Like, I don't need— I don't need to know that. Maybe he was calling it out because he thought that you noticed it, and so he wanted to say it because he didn't want things to be awkward and he felt like just talking about the elephant in the room would be better than ignoring it and pretending like it didn't happen. If anyone said that to me, I would be so weirded out. You were not overreacting to be weirded out by that. Also, I would tell you to stop trying to push yourself into liking this guy more than you like him. Like, you literally just cannot force it. If, if the chemistry and the attraction is not there, yes, it can grow over time, um, but more likely than not— it's not gonna be there, and that's okay. It's not your job to force yourself into trying to be with someone. It's just not. All right, let's move on. This one says, am I overreacting? I, 22, female, stormed out of the house after my boyfriend, 25, male, asked for a BJ while I'm 2 weeks postpartum. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and moved in together 1.5 years ago. I gave birth 2 weeks ago to a healthy baby boy. During pregnancy, my boyfriend and I had sex pretty frequently, but at around 35 weeks, I expressed to him that I was in too much pain and too tired to have sex anymore. I also told him that I will not be wanting to do anything sexual for about 6 weeks after giving birth, but it will most likely be more time than that. I also told him that I won't want to be doing anything sexual for at least 6 weeks after giving birth, but it will most likely be more time than that. I was breastfeeding on the couch this morning and my boyfriend came into the living room after his shower naked, got in front of me and asked for a BJ. I was pissed off because 1, I'm feeding our child, 2, I expressed to him weeks ago that I didn't want to do anything sexual after giving birth. 3, he knows how exhausted and depressed I am and still asked for a BJ. I finished feeding my son, burped him, changed his diaper, and put him down for a nap. I told my boyfriend that I was leaving to take a walk for a while and that he has everything he needs for our son. He got pissed off at me for leaving and getting mad. He acted like I was the one in the wrong and I shouldn't have left. Am I overreacting for storming out of the house? What? I'm sorry. So you are actively holding and feeding your child and he wants you to start just giving him the Gluck Gluck 3000 while you're holding your baby in your arms and your baby is latched on to you, and then he's mad at you. Like, how could you have the audacity to possibly get mad at him? Setting aside the fact that you specifically told him that you didn't want to engage in anything sexually for 6 weeks postpartum, which I think I'm— I'm tripping over my words. I'm getting really worked up right now. You specifically told him that you didn't want to engage in anything sexually for 6 weeks after having a baby. That makes sense. I would not want to either. And I think you did your part by trying to prepare him for that. And then to repay you for being communicative and trying to prepare him and plan for that, he expects you to give him the gluck gluck while you're holding your newborn baby and feeding the newborn baby. Fuck me up. That is unhinged. I— and I know, I know for a fact that there's going to be a bunch of probably men in my comments saying, he has needs, he has needs. I really don't care. This woman just birthed your child and is literally actively holding and feeding your child and specifically told you she is not prepared to engage with you sexually yet because her body has been damaged and ravaged from giving birth to your child. The the least that you can do is keep it in your pants for 6 weeks. Like, some of you guys act like 6— like you're gonna die if you don't get something for 6 weeks. Go use your hand if you really need it that bad. Your partner has told you what she needed and she is physically decimated. This is beyond me. Um, no, you are not overreacting. I would have stormed out too. That's all I can say. I would have stormed out too. Let's move on. Am I overreacting for wanting to break up with my girlfriend over sex? "I'm a fairly kinky type of person dating someone who is a little uptight about sex." Before we go on, you're a kinky person dating someone who... is a little uptight about sex. Already, right off the bat, not really a match made in heaven, but let's keep going. "I made peace with the idea that we wouldn't be busting out the leather and handcuffs when we got together, but I've recently realized that this is so much more extreme than I ever anticipated. This girl claims to be sex positive and enjoys it with me enough that she complains a lot when we go without it for a while." but how she engages in sex is very uptight and negative. I have found out that she hates and will likely never engage in or with doggy style, oral, handjobs, masturbation, me touching her ass in any way, but especially grabbing it in a possessive or sexual way, dirty talk, moaning or making any noise during sex, wearing any form of lingerie, any form of PDA, all erotic or sexual scenes in movies, shows, games, etc. And that doesn't even touch the kinky stuff. Her sister one time mentioned first suits as just a random joke, and she basically walked out of the room in some combination of disgust and fear. So far, I've tried to approach this in what I would consider the most positive way I know: be patient, be understanding, be supportive, engage in sex with her on her level, and make sure her needs are taken care of. Talk through my needs and hope that between becoming more comfortable with me and with sex in general, we can find something she's willing to do. This is not related to childhood sexual assault or any other traumatic sort of event. It may be related to being raised in a religious part of the country, but mostly it just seems to be her personal hangups built over the years watching other relationships, TV, etc. So far, all of my effort has amounted to her trying doggy style one time, lasting about 1 minute, and looking over to flatly ask, 'Are you done yet?' She also apparently bought a single piece of lingerie but refuses to wear it for me because she says it makes her embarrassed and uncomfortable. Meanwhile, she'll complain if there's a gap where we don't have sex for a while. I'm at a loss. I understand that there's a stereotype that guys are rabid animals that only care about sex and nothing else. That's partly why I've worked so hard to patient, understanding, supportive, and trustworthy to give her the time and space to come around herself. But it's getting to the point where I feel like a complete doormat just letting this go so long without any movement toward her taking my desires seriously. All right, first things first, I didn't even read every single word of this because I can already tell this is a compatibility problem. You are not compatible with this person sexually. You might love who they are, but sex is actually a really, really important part of romantic relationships, and I think that you guys just are not aligned. I can guarantee you that there's a man out there who would be a great partner for her. And I can guarantee that there's a woman out there who would be a great partner for you. It's just not each other. I don't think that it's bad to break up with someone over sexual differences. I actually think like, obviously, if you're in a long-term relationship, there's going to be droughts. There's going to be times where you have to overcome certain things or when you need to relearn about each other. But I don't think that this is the case with you. I, I think you've done everything that you can, and it's time for you to say bye. You've been patient, and there's nothing— there's also nothing wrong with someone who doesn't want to engage in certain sexual behaviors. We place a lot of pressure on people in general to be very sexual, but the truth is that there are many people out there who are asexual or who have a lower libido or a lower desire to try new things. There's just there's so many different types of people out there, and she's not wrong, and you're not wrong either. You both just need to find someone who's better matched. That's all I'm gonna say. I feel like it's pretty obvious. It's pretty obvious. All right, this one says, am I overreacting? I discovered stuff on my husband's work iPad. I had a feeling to look. I've never felt the need before. He left his work iPad at home, and I looked through his internet history. He was going to Instagram through Safari and looking at one of his college students' photos every day for months. All of her photos are risqué, half-nude selfies. He claims they didn't anything, but he was flattered by her friend request and told me he wished I sent him photos like the ones that she took. Okay. All right. Since then, I have moved out. Our relationship is more troubling than this incident, but what he did really bothers me. Yeah, it's pretty obvious that there's probably more going on in your relationship than just your husband looking at Instagram pictures of one of his students, which I don't want to say just because let's get this straight, that's creepy and it's wrong. He's a professor and he needs to keep his relationships with his students professional, and that's clearly not what's going on. He's cyberstalking this student who only posts risqué content. Like, it's just— it's pretty obvious to me that he's checked out. And, and then for you to bring it up with him and he flips it back around on you, you're like, hey, just checking in. Why are you looking at this risqué picture of your student every single day for months? And his response is, I wish you would send me pictures like that. If you sent him pictures like that, he would still be looking at that Instagram. Of shit because he has no discipline. Even if he just said it was like a crush and he had a one-time crush, like he has no discipline. Why is he going and looking at her Instagram picture every fucking day? Every fucking day. Are you kidding me? Every day? Every single day for a month or more? Every day going back? I know that there's going to be so many people out there who are like, what's the big deal? It's just looking at Instagram because they don't realize that it is so much deeper than that. It is so much deeper than that. It's basically like the virtual equivalent of your partner getting a crush and then going to their place of work every day so that they can just take a peek at them through the window. I don't understand why people don't take internet things more seriously. It's like we think that because it's intangible and on the phone that it's not real. These are real behaviors that have a real effect. Honestly, I'm glad you left. I'm, I'm a assuming that there are bigger issues because you felt like you had to go snooping through his stuff and he was very obviously doing things that he wanted to hide from you because he was using Instagram through Safari. Maybe he knew that if he had Instagram, you would be curious and want to look at it, but he thought, well, Safari is always on here, so she won't even think. It's giving no discipline. It's giving fucked up power dynamics. No, I don't. I don't think that you're overreacting. But yeah. All right. Let's, uh, let's do one more. Let's read one more. Am I overreacting for wanting to end my marriage after what my husband did during our break? I, 25, female, and my husband, 27, male, have been married for 2 years, together for 5. We married young, but we were both ready emotionally and financially. We both wanted a big family. I got pregnant last year, about 6 months ago, and I had a stillbirth at 5 months. It happened after a fall. My husband slipped on the stairs, fell on top of me, and we tumbled down. It was a freak accident. I had to be rushed to the hospital, and we lost I lost the baby. The physical recovery was painful and emotionally it was a mess. I was grieving, traumatized, and mentally not okay. I asked for space. I told him I wanted to stay with my parents for a while to heal and process everything. I started therapy and encouraged him to do the same, and I was gone for about 2 and a half months trying to recover. Eventually I moved back in. We resumed therapy together and things were still heavy, but I thought we were trying to move forward. That's when he told me, very guiltily, that while I was away he hooked up with another woman because we were on a break. Okay, Ross. Um, I was shocked, hurt, numb. We are married. We weren't on a break like some high school relationship. I went to stay with my parents to grieve our child, not to take a break from the relationship. I never once implied that it was okay to sleep with other people. He never asked or clarified. He just decided that's what our space meant. To make it worse, he waited 1.5 months after I came back to confess. That tells me he knew exactly what he was doing. He hid it and he lied by omission for weeks. I left immediately. I booked a hotel for 3 days, cut everyone off. I didn't want to talk to my or friends because I knew they'd try to convince me to forgive him. He's been apologizing nonstop, saying we can fix this, we can keep going, we can rebuild. He's even involved both of our parents. Now everyone—his parents, my parents—are saying that I should give him a chance, that he was grieving in his own way, that it wasn't cheating because we were apart. Wha— okay. But I can't look at it that way. I feel betrayed. I think he's made a choice, and I don't feel any desire to fight for this marriage anymore. Nah. Nope. You're, you're definitely not overreacting. 100% not overreacting. When I started reading this post and I read the title— what was the title again? Yeah. When I read the title, Am I Overreacting for Wanting to End My Marriage After What My Husband Did During Our Break? I was thinking you guys would actually be on a break. And then I was, I was already planning on coming in hot and being like, you were on a break and he gets to do whatever he wants. But this is very, very different. Neither of you agreed that you were on a break in any way, shape, or perform in any capacity, that's cheating. He cheated on you and he's trying to make it sound like it was because you were on a break instead of being honest about it being cheating. And no, you're not overreacting. Being cheated on is traumatizing as hell. And when he finally told you about it, he didn't even take responsibility. He's claiming that you were on a break that neither of you ever defined as a break. That is not okay. And I don't think that it's fair for anyone to tell you to give someone who cheated on you another chance. You have to decide for yourself if you think that it's worth forgiving and continuing on, or if you can't do that anymore. He waited a month and a half. Like, he sat on that every single day since you got back. I don't know that I could ever come back from that. I, I would— I like to think that I'm a very forgiving person and that I could forgive someone and learn to grow with them as long as they were for real, like, actually genuinely sorry for what they did. This guy clearly cheated on you and he's trying to cover it up under the guise of being on a break. You were not on a break. If you have any chance of sticking it through with him, he has to admit that. And then you guys are going to have to work through that. Dude, I'm— I am— I'm done. I can't handle any more of these for today. It kills me, dude. It kills me. I— let me tell you something. I am so incredibly grateful for my partner. I'm so incredibly grateful for my partner, Blake. I know everyone says that they love their partner. I love him so much. I genuinely do not know what I would do without him. He enriches my life so much. He's so supportive and he's the most empathetic person that I've ever met in my entire life. We bonded the first time that we bonded. We bonded over this Mac Miller song and he cried. He cried listening to this Mac Miller song. And we were sitting on this couch and I was just like, I knew in that moment that I was in danger. I was in the danger zone. I was falling for this guy because he just has a heart of gold. I could never imagine someone with so much empathy doing something like this. Well, we were on a break, right? Just the deflection, the intentional misunderstanding so that he can get what he wants. Oh, it makes me sick. That has to be it for today. I'm so sorry to end on that one. I wish that it had been like— I wish that it had been a more fun one, but I'll be back again next week to read some more Reddit posts, maybe from Am I the Asshole or the sex advice subreddits. We'll see what I feel like when I sit down to record that one. I appreciate you being here watching this video, and until Next time, stay spicy.