Become a great leader by talking learning to talk to people - Soul of Innovation
18 Sept 2018 · 14 min
Thomas Anglero reflects on workshops with middle managers about leadership and innovation. He argues that people need to learn to talk authentically rather than only opening up when drinking, and suggests concrete practices: see yourself clearly, change your social circle, spend time alone, reconnect with simple things like walking barefoot in grass.
Chapters
Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. This is your host, Thomas Anglero, and I got some really, I think, very powerful reflections to share with you on the current state of mind of middle management people in corporations and how they see change and disruption. I think this is really important to put it out there and share this because this is the only way we're all going to grow and learn from it and actually handle it in our own workplaces and maybe even at home. Not even maybe, definitely at home. So for the last week, and including especially today, that's why I'm all juiced up today, I've been spending two— working out at two-hour sessions all over the place, but 2 hours with, on one day, was on a Monday, and then 2 hours on a Thursday. Today's a Monday, another 2 hours, all with different groups of middle managers to, let's say, lower senior managers, right? All about disruption, all about change in the workplace, all about innovation and how to make these changes. The first thing I wanna share with you was really interesting. I got to one of these meetings and the first thing we did, we went around the room to introduce ourselves. Everyone at this meeting said, one of the reasons why I'm here, you know, you do your name, your title, and then what do you want to get out of this thing? Every single person said that what I want to get out of this is by the end of this entire process, I like to get to know everybody a lot better and people to get to know me. Every single person said that. When we were done with that, then I was asked, I was asked before I got there, to do a 2-hour presentation on innovation. Did my presentation. While I'm doing the presentation, of course, you know, I am looking at everybody individually and calling them out. And one specific thing I did, and I wasn't trying to be rude, I was trying to give them what they wanted. They wanted to be seen. They want to get to know everybody. I told them about the challenges that artificial intelligence is bringing us, the challenges of cultures, of organizations that have been in place for so long, so many decades, and that senior management has been there for so long And right now with all the changes, senior management doesn't know what changes to make, what new ideas to implement, because a new idea to them is just saying, you have until Friday to give me something new. That's not the creation of a new idea. So I'm pounding these things and I asked everybody in the room, what do you think? This is your moment. What do you think about what I just said? No one raised their hand. And I said, wait a minute, hold on a second. When we started this day, everybody in the room said, I want— everybody's mission for this whole thing was to get to be known and get to know other people. I said, this is your moment. You guys are upper middle management. Some of you are in higher management than that. You're the bosses of the company. You're the bosses of the bosses. And you're having your moment. This is your moment to be heard. This is your moment to share your reflections, to share your insights. What would you do? What are you going to do with all this new information you've received in the last 2 hours? What is it that's in your head now? Not one person raised their hand to share information. Not one adult. That is at the core of the problem. Of companies is that these managers, bosses, directors, vice presidents have been beaten so bad that they are in fear of communicating their feelings and thoughts openly. Yet they know that what they want to do over the course of this period of this workshop is that they want to be seen. They want to get to know other people. That is a human thing. That has nothing to do with work. That's what humans want to do. I want to know other nice humans. I want people to get to know me. I want to leave this place feeling fantastic and floating and maybe even skipping like I was a little kid. And yet, when it's their moment to be seen, nothing. So what have we done in society? What we've done is we've produced a society where, you know when it's appropriate to be seen and to talk openly? After we start drinking alcohol. The business environment? "Let's go out to dinner, let's have a couple of drinks, then we can get to know each other." Really? Really, that's appropriate? That's when you start to open up as a boss? Then what the hell are you going to do tomorrow when you get to work and you want your employees to open up? What are you going to do, serve drinks then at your office? You see what you've done? You expect your employees to open up, you expect your employees to be innovative, you expect them to change the company, and yet you being a hypocrite that the only time you're going to open up and think about changing anything is when you're drinking alcohol. Get over it! Come on! This is ridiculous! And if you're one of those people, you're ridiculous and you embarrass yourself and everybody sees it. The only problem is you're probably hanging around with people who are just like you and drinking just like you to hide yourselves. Look at your friends. Look at your coworkers. Look at those people around you. Who are you hanging out with? Who are you having drinks with? Who are you having lunch with? Are those the people that are inspiring you? Are those the people that make you a better person? If the answer is no, then it's you who are holding you back. Some people say they're holding you back. They're not holding you back because you could just get up and leave and go sit or go talk to other people. You're holding you back. They're not holding you down on the chair or holding you in place. You are. Why are you making it for you that the only time we, everybody but you, the whole planet, all of us, the only time for us to get to know you is when you are hiding or using the excuse of, 'I need to have a drink.' Now, you don't say that, but that's what you end up doing, because you can't talk. You have to wait to some event, some occasion, to have some alcohol, and then all of a sudden, 'Oh, okay, I could talk now.' If this is you, then ask yourself, hmm, How long you been doing this? I mean, serious, get real with yourself right now. The only way you're going to progress out of this is saying, how many years? And most of you, how many decades have you been doing this? A lot of people goes back to high school. That's when that stuff started, when it was really cool to drink and stuff like that. Then we did it through college. Then we went to work life, said, oh, gotta take my client out for some— for dinner and some drinks. Gotta have some drinks, buy some beers. I hate that crap. Because look what it's done. It has frozen everyone in the high school mentality. And we're talking about you're what, 40, 50 years old? Some of you are 20, 30 years old, but yet you too are stuck in the high school mentality. It's even worse when you're 50. You spent more than half your life in a high school mentality. Some of you know some successful people from high school. Do they play that game? The game of denying who they are, or are they existing in the reality that it is now and they say, "I am who I am right now. I am control of who I am right now. I am my destiny." Unlike so many of you who find your destiny at the bottom of a wine glass or beer. Your destiny is just bullshit, really. Excuse my language. I have spent the last week with you, being in workshops with you. You can get out of this. There's no problem. Step 1: See yourself in this. If that's you, accept it. Yeah, it hurts. Yeah, it's embarrassing. But damn, at least you recognize it. That's number one. Number two, move the hell on with the people around you. If you're going to be lonely for a while, that's okay. Stop thinking the high school mentality when it's horrible to be the one that's all alone in high school. I have no friends. You're an adult now. Grow up. Being alone is good. You ever gone for a walk by yourself? No cell phone, no dog, no friends. Most importantly, no destination. You take you for a walk. Have you met you lately? Have you spent time with you lately? Go take yourself for a walk. Go pause this podcast. Don't take me on a walk with you in this podcast. Go for a walk. Introduce yourself to yourself. The most exciting thing from that is that when you come back, you're not gonna be alone anymore. Because the fact is, is that all of us have been waiting to meet you, the real you. And that real you, when you go to office, your office, your job, or let's say you don't have a job, you're trying to find one. Well, the next time you talk to someone about a job, They're gonna see the real you. They're gonna feel the real you. And when people meet people and they say that, "I could feel that person. I could see that person." And sometimes they go, "I can see that person's insecure. I can see that person's scared. They're just like me." You get the damn job. When the person says they're overly confident or in denial, they go— and they have experience— they go, "I can see this person's full of crap. No way. You're not getting the job." Success is on you to be you. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. We have disruption happening everywhere, not even due to technology, it's just due to ourselves. I mean, look at the— I don't want to get into the whole diseases, obesity, all these things, all Self-inflicted, so much self-inflicted. Are you eating well? Are you sleeping the 8 hours minimum that you need? Are you going out and getting fresh air? Let me ask you a question, last one and I'll start beating you up. When's the last time you took off your shoes and socks? And you just walked in some grass. Remember that when being a kid? Remember how wonderful that was? You deserve that. And we deserve getting to know you. Don't play the sympathy game or 'feel sorry for me' thing. I wanna get to know you. The people who love you wanna get to know you. And people that have yet to meet you, who are destined to love you, want to know you. Go for that walk. Go put your toes in some grass and love yourself. I'll be here for you. This is Thomas Anglero, Soul of Innovation Podcast. If you'd like to hear more and follow my thoughts, you can subscribe to the mailing list on my website at anglero.com. And there's tons of information there, and I will not disappoint. I love you all. Take care. Go forth and spread beauty and light. Till next time. Bye.
