Bring Joy into Your Life

Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am the host, Thomas Anglero, and my mission for this podcast is to share with you those private thoughts and reflections that I have being one of the top keynote speakers around the world on technology, motivation, and innovation. I hope you truly enjoy all the lessons I share, all the dots I connect that sometimes are just really difficult to get out, but it's all for you. I truly hope you enjoy this episode.

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero. Let me ask you a question. Why do you think people have to like you? Why do you think people have to compliment you? Why do you think people have to be nice to you? Ask yourself that. We all were raised to think that people must like us, that our goal in life is to have people accept us, that people to like us, that we want to have friends all the time around us and think we're a great person. But now that you're an adult, you've been working and living your life with these rules that were for children. Today, with the crisis that's out there, with everyone being uncomfortable, Everyone's insecure about their life, about their job, about their relationships, and extremely insecure about the future, aren't you? Then in that modus, we go back to a child state, and therefore we want everyone to like us. This is where the minds of adults, people who live full lives, It's going back to— because when we were threatened as a child, we went back to that state. We went back to Mommy and Daddy, went to a place of comfort. And that place of comfort was when our mind was so simple that I need to have everybody to like me, I should be that wonderful person. But it doesn't work as an adult because the fact is that the other adults are at the same mental place, and therefore No one is going to like you. This is a heavy message. It's not a dark message. It's a fact. Think about it. If you accept the fact that no one's going to like you, no one's going to compliment you, no one's going to help you, only you can help you, then you're free. You have your freedom. You could do whatever you want. You go wherever you want to go. You can be whatever you want to be. No one will hold you back. No one will be accountable. No one can take the credit. It's all you. It's the freedom you've always looked for. That freedom that nothing can stop you. You have it. But do you really want it? Do you want instead to resort to go back to, "Everybody has to like me. Why aren't people complimenting me? How come I'm not the center of everything?" What a horrible place to be, but I see so many people. So many people are stuck there, and they're so frustrated because what their real intent is to be liked. No one's gonna like you today. It is so hard out there. Look around, take a moment, pause this podcast, ask yourself what's going on. You can sense there's a change out there. There's a change with your friends, there's a change with your family members. Things aren't the same. So because you feel uncomfortable, you go, well, well, let me be the nice guy, let me be the nice girl. But they're not complimenting you, complimenting you like they used to, or, or as fast as they— as you want. You're not gonna get it. You're not. Therefore, go forth and be that amazing person, and don't worry about other people. Don't rely on other people. This is your independence moment. See, this frustration, look, this frustration you have, this feeling that I can't get through these things, life is so hard right now. You know, for the last few weeks on a personal level, my life has been extremely hard, extremely hard. Going through some really, really tough stuff. But instead of diverting that, instead of looking for a distraction, and let me be very clear, because I see other people doing it, other adults, and most especially men, Going to the distraction of maybe some alcohol, going to distraction, maybe some drugs, going to distraction of maybe some other women, going to distraction, maybe some other men, whatever, going to do something to make the moment feel better. What happens when you do that? You know what happens. Does the problem get better? In that one moment, you forget about it. But when that feeling is over, Or that moment is over, the problem didn't go anywhere, and you just extended it for the duration of time that you numbed it or forgot about it. So what I did was none of that crap, dealt with it, and I dealt with it for weeks. I dealt with it. And now the clouds have lifted, the sky is clear, and I'm a better and more mature person on the other side. And now it's not that bad. Now I get it. How did the situation get better? Because I fought through it the whole way. Is the situation actually better? Did the people who were in the conflict in my life— is there still conflict? Yes, but I get it, and I don't feel that conflict. I don't feel that stress now because I fought through it the whole time. See, the thing is, it's like— this is really important, this methodology I'm about to say. Not methodology, this metaphor I'm about to say, sorry. When a pilot, the first person in the world who flew to the speed of sound— I forgot what his name is, so I apologize to him, but congratulations— as he flew that jet, as he approached the speed of sound, he said the jet shaked, rattled. It felt like every screw was about to unscrew itself out of the airplane. Every weld was about to shear off. The plane was about to just tear itself apart as it became closer and closer to the speed of sound. Never had he felt in all his life as a pilot, felt everything, absolutely wanted to just rip himself apart. And then, as he touched the speed of sound and passed through it, he said complete calm came to the airplane. The vibrations disappeared and everything was smooth. He didn't slow down. To avoid the vibration. He continued and went through the vibrations. He continued into the fight, and he's still flying. In this metaphor, your problems are still there, but because you went through it, you came out the other end. The problems are still there, but now it's smooth because you've grown from it and you matured from it. The only way, the only way to get through your problems is to continue to fight to continue to be a mature person, to continue to believe in yourself. And then sometime as you go through and pass the speed of sound, as a moment when you're in your disgruntled life and this argument that you're having with someone, this dislike that you have with something, everything will smooth out. The problem won't go away. That person will disappear. You'll still be broke. You'll still be unemployed, but it won't be as bad. And you'll see a better way. That's how it works. That's how it works. See the metaphor? Things are at their worst as you approach the core goal of what you're trying to achieve. As you approach that moment where everything's going to get smooth again, that's when things get at their worst, and that's when you fight even harder. As you approach the speed of sound, Everything wants to absolutely rattle itself and break itself apart and destroy itself. Everything, everything just wants to explode. And then smoothness, bliss. That's how I want you to go forward with all the battles, with all the disgrunt— disgruntancies, is that a word? The challenges that you have in your life. Go forth and spread beauty and light. The fight is to make you better, but don't lower yourself to other people. Don't expect a compliment. Don't expect a damn thing. Keep loving people, keep doing things for people, but don't expect anything in return. You want to grow, you want to be better throughout this whole thing. Don't expect anything. And at the end— and I won't say at the end of the day— at the end, wherever the end is, it will be better. It will be bliss. I love you. I truly hope you understand what I'm saying. And when you're in the middle of that hell, if you're in the middle of that hell right now, Remember the story I told you about the first pilot, the first person to fly at the speed of sound? It feels like it's getting worse, and at its absolute worst, one moment later, it's at its best. Forevermore. That's the beauty. I love you. This is Thomas Anglero. Until the next time.

Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.