Do What You Have to Do

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero. Good morning, good afternoon to wherever you are. This past week I met a young lady, 27 years old, locked down like the rest of us, but totally, completely confused, lonely, and depressed. And by the end of our conversation, or towards the middle of our conversation, I realized she had started to think about, yeah, the extreme version of all that. Not good. Then during the week, I heard about other young people taking their lives. This has been a rough week, not just for them but for everyone, for everybody, this whole period. But what I realized with the young people, the difference between them and what's going on with those of us who aren't under 30— if you're under 30, you're living in a different reality than the rest of us, because the rest of us, we didn't grow up with this constant social media thing. So you had to— we, we, after high school, there was no longer the ability to have friends so damn close. You went into college or you went into the workforce and you saw your friends after work or you saw them on weekends, and during the rest of the time you're grinding. But with this damn social media thing, and there's a lot of good to it, I'm not being bad, I'm not hating it, but with this social media thing, what it's done is extended the contact and the dependency upon friends that should have ended in high school. This young lady's 27 years old. 27. And the words coming out of her mouth were like she was a freshman in high school. My friends, my friends, my friends. On Instagram, you can't put enough pictures. On Snap, you can't snap enough, right? Facebook, you can't put enough stuff there. And now TikTok, you can't put enough— those videos doing the most simplest things as if that's entertainment. And yet it is today. This constant need to be seen or to know what other people are doing. And what it is is constantly putting yourself outside of your own world. But it's your world, that's all that matters. The creation of your world, not the watching of other people's world. And, and somehow society has— I won't even say it didn't flip, it morphed into other people watching other people instead of me creating and grinding. What happened to the grind? High school was the end of you needing other people. From that point on, it was, this is my life, this is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna bust some butt until I get there. But now young people, young people up until age of 30, usually young people as teenagers, now up until age of 30, the same mentality. What we need to do is talk to them. What we need to do is help them to understand that that what they're going through, they should have to go through it and get the hell through it. I was very nice to this girl, and this is what I told her. This is the advice I gave her as she was struggling and everything. By the way, her parents, they lent her the family dog for 10 days. She was so lonely. That's all the parents want to help them with the situation. I'm very happy, happy that her parents are trying to help her. This is how I helped her. I told her Tell me about your life. She then told me about her life. I said, let's make a list of how fortunate you are. And as she was starting to write down things that she was very fortunate about, that list started to grow and she started to get on a roll. And after about 10 minutes, I asked her, okay, what's not so fortunate in your life? And she came up with one or two things, and then she had to think real hard. And I said, stop. This is not a quantity thing. When I asked you what you were fortunate about, you had an endless list. When I asked you what you're not fortunate about, what you're upset about, well, you had a few, but then it stopped. What are you worrying about? Look at the beautiful that you have, the beauty you have in life. Look at the amazing situations you have. Look how fortunate you are. And why the hell are you worried about everybody else? Why my friends, my friends, my friends, when you got you and you need to be doing you? And I asked her the ultimate thing. I said, do you have a boyfriend? She goes, no. Do you want a boyfriend? She goes, oh yeah. I said, great. I said, the man you're gonna meet, do you want him to be sulking, upset, and to have been lent somebody's dog because he's so depressed? She's like, no, I want to meet somebody with energy, funny. I go, great, then do you want somebody meets you? And she went quiet. I wasn't being mean. I said, Mr. Right, what version of you do you want Mr. Right to meet? The version of you now, or the version you with spunky energy, humor, fun to be with? She understood. What version of you— now I'm asking all of you do you want everybody else to meet? Do you see what I'm talking about? There's no excuse. This is the moment now is to grind. The moment now is to be you. The moment now is to, to be that version of you that everybody wants to be because everybody else is so damn down. I've said this before and I'll say it again as I keep on meeting people. It reminds me more and more and more. Stop looking outside and at other people and just be that person that you've always wanted to be or want to meet. You want to meet that cool athletic person, you be the cool athletic person. You want to meet someone who loving, sweet, will take care of you, to be loving, sweet, and take care of yourself. Then this gentleman came and tapped me on my shoulder and said, Thomas, it's your time to go on camera, because we were in the studio. So I used my hour and a half that I was supposed to using for prepping for my keynote. I spent it with her, which was a wonderful investment, I hope. Got up and went to the studio and did my thing. When I came back, she had a bouquet of roses— of flowers, sorry— for me that she gave to all the speakers of the day. And I told her, those flowers are for you. She goes, "For me?" And then I told her, "I want you to have them in your apartment, and every time you see them, you remind yourself to be the ultimate version of yourself, to be happy. Don't be dependent upon other people. To be that person that you want to meet." She started crying. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." No one's done this for me before. It doesn't take much to give love. It doesn't take much to turn yourself around, but you have to give yourself love. You have to forgive yourself and then just take care of yourself and stop looking at other people and what they're doing. Do what you gotta do. Do what you have to do. One more time. Do what you have to do. Got it? A little bit different, still reflective. Go forth. And spread beauty and light. And do what? Do what you have to do for you. I love all of you. I believe in all of you. This is Thomas Anglero doing what I gotta do. Until next time.