Don't be a victim of yourself

Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am the host, Thomas Anglero, and my mission for this podcast is to share with you those private thoughts and reflections that I have being one of the top keynote speakers around the world on technology, motivation, and innovation. I hope you truly enjoy all the lessons I share, all the dots I connect that sometimes are just really difficult to get out but it's all for you. I truly hope you enjoy this episode.

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and let me ask you a very direct question to challenge you right off the bat. Do you play victim? Do you blame everyone else for the things that are happening in your life? Now, I know all you immediately said, "Nope, not me. Mm-mm. Nope, I don't do that. No, no, no." Some of you even went, "Hmm, what's he talking about? No, no, no, not really." Think about it. When something happens in your life that didn't go the way you wanted, some moment somebody irritated you, or anything that you determined to be negative, do you immediately think, "Why did that person do that?" Do you say that often? Why did that person do that? How come they treated me that way? That's playing victim. That's blaming somebody else. Let's try some more. I guess some more— it's gonna be more personal. When you look back and when you look at your life, you go back into your childhood and you say, how come my parents did that to me? Why did that person do that? Does that sound familiar? Where you blame things on people deep in the past that They can't even represent themselves anymore because they're out of your life. Or the most convenient thing we do is that we blame people who are not around in the moment. We blame others. We play victim. Are you playing victim? Here's the reason why I asked that question, and I don't mean to be rude. I mean to be— I mean to wake you up, or I mean to be controversial, but this is the point. Every time you play victim, every time you feel you're a victim of a situation or of an outcome, you're taking away the opportunity for you to grow from that situation. What happened to you didn't happen to you so that it would hurt your feelings. It happened to you so that you would learn from it and you would be better in the next moment. See, in that moment when you feel like, oh, why did that happen to me? Why did that person hurt my feelings? That's, that's the moment that you're not supposed to do that, right? That's like going left left. What you're supposed to be doing is going right and going, because that person did that to me, why did I feel like that in that moment? Why did I feel uncomfortable? What was the trigger that got me so upset the moment before I started screaming? What was that feeling inside me? Or the moment before I went extremely quiet and got angry inside, what was the thought I had? See, when you take life from that perspective, when you take your moments in life that you're not happy with and you question yourself versus pointing to someone else and blaming them then you have conquered everything. Then no one owns you. Then you won't have any bad situations, because you understand when something goes that is not your way, you're just going to quickly turn around and you're going to see it how it is your way. Do you see? There is the trick to life, one of the many tricks to life, right? You want to call it a life hack. When something negative happens to you, or you think is negative, flip it around, and you actually can see how you could benefit from that moment. But if you play victim, That person didn't let me in. I didn't get into the school I wanted to. I didn't get the job I wanted. That person treated me unfairly. Flip it. How can you turn it to your advantage? This is tough stuff, but this is— I mean, in the last weeks, I've been meeting people, and when I say people, I'm talking about people who are teenagers all the way to adults, and I mean a lot of adults who live, who have lived, past tense, their life, their decades on being a victim, and they're still talking like a victim. And then here's the scary part. From a health perspective, when I see their physical appearance is not too damn good, they look older than they should, and they look extremely unhealthy. And when you meet people who do not play victim, You meet people who own life, who are able to flip around negativity. Now, I'm not saying it's easy, right? In that moment you could be upset, but once you get over the upsetness— and that moment only should be for a few seconds, maybe a minute or two if it's really bad— and you flip it and you see the positive, do you understand those negative thoughts that usually eat at you, that actually physically age you? They've proven this. When you flip it around, you see the benefits, and that means your body goes from a state of negativity to a state of excitement where it's your cells are excited, they're rejuvenating, they're recuperating, they're energized, they're making you feel younger, brighter, your aura is shinier, stronger? Or do you just want to be negative? This is not good. This is not where you're supposed to be. And you're not getting it. You're feeling that life is overwhelming you. That's playing victim. I'm depressed. You're playing victim. Things aren't fair. You're playing victim. Stop it. Please stop it. Not that it's annoying me. I don't— you know, it's not annoying me because right now what you're feeling, you and I are distant from each other. We're probably thousands of miles or kilometers from each other. But I'm saying stop it for your own sake. Yeah, it is really heavy. Yes, it is really hard to own all the things that are going wrong. It's really hard to own the fact that your marriage sucks. It really is really hard to own the fact that the relationship with your kids sucks. It's really hard to know that you actually are in that job that sucks. Now own it. And now flip it. What can I do about it? How can I become better from this? Versus, oh, my life sucks. Oh, woe is me. Oh, I have it so bad. Victim. I was at a job. Couple years ago, and this old guy, I will never forget, he literally was a month of retirement. He was 72 at that time. And I said, "Something happened to me," and I explained what happened to me. And then I— after I explained it, I said something about how I felt about it. He looked me in my face and said with a smile, You like playing victim? And I was like— and this is only a couple years ago, right? And I had a moment, and I went to him and I was like, he doesn't mean to be mean to me. And I've heard this expression before, but for some reason in that moment when he told me that in my face, and I knew he was only coming from a point of love, I go, what do you mean? And why do you smile when you say that? So I, I try to turn the situation around and understand What is it in this moment that's special? Why did he say that? And he said it as a gift, not as an attack. And he said, Thomas, you're enjoying the fact that you did not benefit in that moment. And you're sitting there wallowing. Wallowing is like a, you know, a big hippo in the water, right? They love being in the water when it's a hot day in the Sahara. You like wallowing yourself right there saying, yes, it's so bad and life is against me. You're just enjoying that moment. You're just playing victim and you're enjoying being a victim, but you're not doing anything about it. His name is Turgay.

Took me a second.

I remember Turgay. God bless Turgay. And I like this moment. Now I'm shocked. My face is frozen. I'm like, oh, I'm remembering that moment. He called my bullshit right there on the spot. And I was like, damn, yes, I am. Do you know what it is to be a full grown adult? You know, live the full life, got kids and all that, and you have a moment where you're like, oh my God, I'm playing victim. This is the moment I want you to have. Now, you don't have to be an adult. You can be in your teens, you can be in your 20s. The earlier you have this moment, the earlier you own your life, the better your life is going to be, right? Um, everybody's losing their job. Companies are firing everybody. People, you can't pay your mortgage, you can't feed your family. There's a lot reason to play victim. Turn that shit around. There's opportunities everywhere. See, the thing is, here's a fact: even when there's a global depression, everything is going to hell, everyone's still looking for the man, that guy, that girl. Let's be honest, that person— the sex doesn't matter— that person who's amazing, that's the person who always gets the opportunities.

Always.

And it's not the most attractive person. In good times, attractive people get more opportunity. If you're born and God gave you the looks of a model, you get a lot of advantages versus disadvantages. But when stuff hits the fan, the only people who get opportunities are the people who are amazing. And the people who are amazing aren't playing victim. Have you ever seen anybody who's playing victim and is amazing? It doesn't work. So for you to be amazing, for you to conquer all life's challenges, for you to be the person who's the ultimate breadwinner, to be the person who makes the— has the ultimate family, you have to stop playing victim and you have to be you. Got it? I would love to keep on going, but I don't want to beat you up, and I've made my point. Don't be a victim of yourself. That's the only person you're a victim of, of yourself. Not the person who did that or the situation that created it. You're a victim of you. Don't be a victim of you. Be your own damn hero. Step up, grow up, and then own everything. And then life is going to be amazing. It'll be hard, it'll be up and down, but you'll control the universe. You will control the next moment. You'll control your future. And most importantly, you'll control your damn fate. You won't be a victim. A victim is the exact opposite of a person who controls their fate. Do you see that? And if you're not controlling your fate, if you don't believe that you can do everything you've been made to do, that you have the right in the— to choose whatever you want to choose. If you don't have that mindset, then you are playing victim and you're saying that someone else dictates what's going to happen to your life. Flip that shit around and own your life and be amazing. Now go forth and spread your beauty and your light. Do you get it? You're not a victim. You're you. You're the ultimate version of you. I love you. Until next time.

Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.