Episode 104: How to Overcome Fear

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation Podcast. I am Thomas Anglero. And have you ever done something, taken an exam, or just knew that whatever you're about to do freaks you out completely? It scares you, it intimidates you, and you're massively uncomfortable with it. You know you got to do it, right? You know you have to go through with it. You know that as soon as you conquer that fear, for the rest of your life, you're a better man, you're a better woman. You own it, right? One less thing that you don't have to worry about. Matter of fact, one more thing to feel phenomenal about, right? So this is what I'm going through, and I want to share with you how I'm eating my own dog food, if you know that expression. With basically whatever I preach, I'm now going through with it, even though I'm really uncomfortable. Of all things, me, Mr. New Yorker, hardcore, you know, project boy growing up in New York, concrete forest and all that, I am taking my driver's license to be able to buy, to drive like a pickup, the cab thing you put on the back of your car when you're carrying a whole bunch of stuff. You ever see these funny YouTube videos where people are pulling their houses and then the house flips over on the highway? That's me, but just— I hope I don't flip over the house. Well, I'm getting my driver's license to be allowed to pull up to 15,000 pounds, over 7,000 kilos. So if I ever need another job, I could always work in a construction site. Isn't that cool? But the thing is, you know, I see these highway truckers on Discovery Channel and all these guys pulling stuff, and I'm gonna have that license. I could be a highway trucker driving on the icy roads of Alaska. I got my own TV show nobody would watch, but I would think I would be funny all to myself. But anyway, The thing is, that makes me massively uncomfortable. That's not what a person does from New York. That's what the country boys do. That's what the people who grew up in the forest, people who grew up in these weird places— if you're a city boy like me, right, you don't go there. I mean, what— when would you ever need that? And that's exactly the point why I'm doing it. It is so foreign to me. So ridiculously ridiculous to do this. But yet I know because when I accomplish this, for the rest of my life, I have that skill, I have that talent, I have that confidence, I have that edge. But it is as foreign to me as anything because I grew up in an environment where you don't even need a driver's license. I'm walking into the light. I am purposely choosing something that is not natural to me, just like skiing, right? First time I put skis on, I was 30 years old. That ain't natural, right? I missed those first years. When's the last time you chose on purposely to do something that you knew was incredibly difficult. Doesn't matter why. But, you know, when you think about it, like, that hurts. I don't want to do that. That's really hard. Like learning a language for me, right? Like learning how to play an instrument or being open and actually speaking your mind. Saying what you really mean to say to people instead of being quiet and taking it all in and feeling horrible afterwards when you knew you should have spoke your mind. You knew you should have said something in that moment. You know, that's something I stopped doing a long time ago, and I remember I don't remember what the conversation was, but I remember in that moment, I was in a conversation, I said, "No, no, no, I have to talk now." My voice cracked, I think I even whined when I spoke for the first time, because it was coming from deep within me. But the person said something I strongly disagreed with, and I had to speak my mind. And I was in complete disagreement to what they said, but it was against every facet, every part of my DNA to speak my mind. Brought up that way. I was told never to do that. I was told I was being disrespectful. I was told that you never speak back against your elders, even if your elders are wrong. And yet I said, no way, this is my life, this is my thoughts, this is my existence, and this person has to hear my point of view. And I went against the entire social norm. I went against the programmer who programmed me when I was a child, when I was a teenager, when I was an adult. Society's still programming you. I went against all of them, and I I wrote my own code and I spoke my own mind. And you know what happened a moment later? The person looked at me, nodded, and the conversation continued, but on a more agreeable level. Nothing happened. They respected my opinion, they respected my words, but I chose to do something that was completely against my nature, as I said, my programming, against what I thought were my instincts, and they're not my instincts. They're not your instincts. They're the instincts put there by someone else, someone who put fear in you, someone who dropped, you know, who planted that seed in you that you're not supposed to do this, you're not supposed to do that. Do you understand that most of our fears, most of your fears, comes from someone else? Comes from something you've seen, maybe a TV show, something your aunt said, your uncle said, your mother said, your father, someone who you love, they said something, you said yes, and you hardcoded it into your brain, into your heart, into your emotions. And it's not you. And you got to rewrite that code. It's your life. Rewrite your code. Rewrite your story. Matter of fact, write your story, but write your story based on you. And how do I get to all this? I got to this because I want to take a stupid driver's test so that I could pull in my car, I could pull insane amount of weight. But why? Because it's against everything in my nature to do these things. But I have to do it because it makes me so insanely uncomfortable. The amount of responsibility when you're pulling 15,000 pounds of stuff and that thing turns over on a highway, on a side road, you got a lot of responsibility. I gotta do it. I'm better than that. I'm better than that fear that says, ooh, that's some bullshit. No, that ain't me. That ain't you either. Fear fears us. Fear fears you. You walk to fear. You grab fear by the neck. If you're not a violent person, God bless, don't be violent, but you still grab it by the neck and you look it dead in the eye. Don't blink. You say, you fear me. Any thought that scares you, any person that tries to intimidate you, you look them dead in the eye. And you don't have to mouth it, but they'll see it when you think, "You fear me." You walk into the light. Matter of fact, flip that around. You walk into the darkness and you light that room up with your energy, your confidence. See how life works? Every room you walk into, you light it up. People are down, they're excited. People depressed, now they're motivated. There is no obstacles in your life. There's nothing to be scared of. Everything people told you before, thank you very much for your opinion, for your criticism. Thank you, but this is my life. This is my rodeo, and this is how I'm gonna ride it. Go forth and spread beauty and light. Light up every room you walk into. Light up every thought you're ever gonna have. Rewrite every bit of code, every comment, every criticism, anything everybody ever told you before, including everyone in your damn family. Family, especially during the holidays when everybody criticizes everybody. Rewrite it all. Then you write your own story. Today's Freedom Day, and I got there and I had all these epiphanies, all because I freaked out when I was taking my exam. There's two levels of exam. Passed the first one, now I gotta take the second one. Freaked out during that first one. Was shaking afterwards. Felt awesome. And I realized I got to do this to myself more often. I got to freak myself out more often. I have to push myself on that edge, on that precipice, and I have to have the wind blowing on my back so that I'm about to fall off the damn cliff and I'm about to die. Everything in me says, don't be there, don't do that, don't do that. That's where we're meant to be. Because when we make it through that, then we realize that's where we're meant to be. Get it? Got it? Good. I love you. Light it up, baby. Light up your life, and you light up everybody else's. This is Thomas Anglero. And I love you with all my soul. Until next time. Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.