Episode 137: What you do, when you are alone, is who you really are

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero with a bit of a cold, so I apologize for my voice, but I'd like to share with you a reflection. Because I have this cold, I'm home and I'm supposed to be taking it easy and relaxing. And as I do that, my brain is just, just going. It can't turn off. I'm thinking about all the things I have to do. And I'm relaxing, watching a wonderful movie with my son, but my brain in the background in parallel is thinking about having to publish this book that I'm writing and all the things I got to do. And I've been thinking about that book, I've been writing that book now for 2 to 3 years now, and there's some hurdles. And you know, writer's block and all that. My point is this, that this evening when I'm actually supposed to be relaxing I actually solved so many of the problems, these hurdles that I could not get by in my head. I figured it out and it wasn't even complex. You know how often you have these things that are just wrapped in your head, you can't figure them out, you're thinking about them all the time, and then all of a sudden on the evening where I can't do anything, I have to relax, I'm not feeling well, and I relax my mind and a problem that's been in my head for months, for years I figured out so simply, so easily. Has it ever happened to you? So then I turn on YouTube and now pops this YouTube Short, one of those short little clip films, and there's this guy who— he's coming off the bus and his friends are videotaping him, and in the text it says that It says, uh, was it 2019? Uh, friends making fun of me because they're continuing to go party and I have to go back to work. And the guy standing outside the bus as the bus is pulling away with that awkward smiley face waving goodbye, and everybody's laughing on the bus. Sounds like about 5 or 6 friends. Haha, we're gonna go party, we're gonna go get drunk. And he's standing there in the rain waving goodbye and he's going back to work late at night. Then it clips the video, then clips to 2021. He's on stage and everything, and the text then says, in 2021, each one of them are now asking me for a job in my startup. And I thought to myself, it is though you don't give yourself enough credit. Those are the people who grind when no one's watching. They don't get enough credit. Let me give you another example. If you know sports, try this one out. In sports, most of all the greatest athletes, their performances that you see on TV, or do you hear about, or end up in some record books— do you know how many thousands or tens of thousands of hours they trained by themselves when no one's watching? And the sport of basketball, most of all, you're standing there alone in a gym. This is a confined space. That's most time— most of the time is underground, so you're in a cave and nobody can see you, and you're all by yourself with that basketball. And you're standing there on the foul line, and because it's an empty gym, when that ball bounces, it echoes off all the walls. And you're shooting foul shot after foul shot, you shoot the shot, you run and get the rebound, get the ball, walk back to the foul line, shoot another shot, get the ball, walk back to the foul line. You are by yourself spending hours and hours perfecting your craft. Your success in life, that which people judge you by, And more importantly, that which you judge your own self by. Let me repeat that. That which you judge your own self by, your own self-worth. When you look at yourself in mirror, when you're even looking yourself in mirror, when you think about yourself and that which you make you feel most proud of yourself, it comes from those moments that when you were alone and no one was watching, that you pushed yourself, that you did what you knew was right, that you did what you knew would take you to the next level. Let me give you a last story, and this is really important. Many years ago, living alone in Brooklyn before I moved to Norway, it was a Sunday morning, listening to a morning— Sunday morning radio show. Love the Sunday morning radio shows in New York City. God bless. That was fantastic. I loved, loved getting up at 8 AM, 6:30 AM on a Sunday morning, listening to 10. This is like the best 3 and a half hours, and I'll go out and do my triathlon and running, whatever. One morning, this guy came on and he said, my grandmother gave me a gift that has changed my life. And he said it with this profound voice that I'm trying to simulate right now. He said, it changed my life. And she said to me, I want you to always think about this: would you do what you're doing if someone was watching? He says, I was 7 years old, I was hanging out in the streets, but I love my grandmother, respect her like crazy. But she gave me that gift. At that time, it frustrated the hell out of me because I knew that hanging out in the streets, you know, you go into a candy store, you look around, nobody's watching. Let me take this candy bar, let me take this piece of candy, nobody's seeing me. He says, but my grandmother threw a wrench into that. She destroyed that because she made me face myself. Because she said to me, would you do what you're doing if someone was watching you. When we are alone, what we do, what you do when you're alone, is your measurement as a person, as a leader, as a role model, as a father, as a mother. As a loving family member. What you do alone is who you are. All my stories, every single one, is about when you're alone in your own headspace It's when you're alone in your own heart, when there's no external interference, and you can feel yourself, and you can't blame anybody. It's only you. What do you do then? What do you think then? That moment defines you. Then would you do what you're doing if someone was watching you? Would you be on that foul line shooting all those shots? Would you be getting off that bus and going back to work? Why did he get off that bus and go back to work when all his friends are partying? Because he knew that he had a bigger picture for himself. He knew that by not being at that party, by not going out and drinking, that he would then use that time for him. Because he knew that he belonged in that picture of himself that fulfills his destiny. The next step is not the final step, it's the next step. You understand? We define, you define, I define myself based on what I do with my time. What I'm saying to you is this: step up your free time, your downtime, your time when nobody's watching, your time for Netflix. It is okay to watch Netflix, but at the same time, that voice should be in your head saying, "Hahaha, what are we doing next, baby?" What do I got to do? Now, when I'm saying what you got to do next, it's not about money. It's what you feel you got to do next. This book I'm writing is not about the money. There's something inside of me. I've been writing this book on artificial intelligence for like 2 to 3 years. It is the completion of myself. And it's not like I'm completing, I'm going to die. It's the completion of this thing, this, this, this, this, this, baby that was born, this part of my life that is hanging, and I could put an end to it. I could close that chapter just by finishing this book. How many things in your life are not closed? How many relationships in your life are not closed? And all I got to do is publish this book, and that chapter is closed. And I can look at my life and look forward, lift my head to the right, and go, ah, the future. Ah, finally, monkey, King Kong off my back. How many things in your life are left undone, left unsaid? Do you understand how it's important to finish and have that closure so that you could do what you're meant to do? And the reason why you haven't done it is that you know in those moments when no one's watching, you're not doing what you were meant to do. You should have got off that bus when you were with your friends drinking and get back to work, or go back to your apartment or the school dorm and finish off that homework assignment. You should have been in the gym a little bit longer shooting some more shots. You should have never been in that candy store to try to steal that candy. You are who you are based on what you do and what you haven't done. It's not over. This moment right now, this precious moment right now that you've given to me, that we're sharing right now because you have chosen to listen to me and I thank you means that this moment is one of those moments you chose to listen to me now. You chose to put in the work. This is part of the work. This is part of the grind. Now, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to take this moment? Are you going to take these minutes that we're spending with each other and are you going to apply it to close that chapter, that book, finish that thing that's hanging, to finish saying what has not been said? What is in your life that's not complete, that needs to be completed? Complete it for the Lord's sake. Please complete it for your sake, for your sanity. For your emotional sanity, not just mental, emotional. If your heart hurts, if you miss someone, if you're always thinking of someone, that must hurt. Let them know. If you always missing something. Be real with yourself and admit it to yourself. And by doing that, you started to grind and you invested in yourself. And now you're in the gym. Now you get off the bus. Now you left the candy store. You're doing the work. See, it's not that hard. You just got to make the decision to prioritize you, to love yourself. And all that takes is sometimes not doing anything, just loving you, just believing in you, just doing what is— you should be doing. For me, I just had to go to my PC and make a decision, and I made the decision. I was going up the steps of my house and boom, done. My book is on its way to being published. It was so damn simple. Literally took me 3 minutes. Something hanging for months. The decision you got to make, decisions that you procrastinate on that you haven't made, When you make it and you complete it, it's gonna be taking about 3 minutes, and you're gonna say to yourself, my God, why did that take so long? So many months, so many years. It's because you didn't give yourself a moment to be with you. Go forth and spread beauty and light. Put light on the fact that you haven't put enough light on you, time you spend with yourself. And when you do spend that time with yourself, think about what piece of you is missing or is sad or is incomplete. You probably know what that is. You probably have that feeling. It's really disturbing, was difficult to get there. Then I wanted you to do is turn on Netflix, but with that thought in your head. Go for a walk with that thought in your head. Don't rush it. Because what I learned tonight was when I finally, finally relaxed, because I can't go out, I'm too sick, and I took the pressure off myself, within 3 minutes I was able to publish or get my book on the journey to being published. That's huge. Start your journey and I'll be there with you all the time. You're not alone. You're not alone. This is Thomas Anglero. From the bottom of my soul, I truly love you, and I believe in you. Spend time with yourself. Close that chapter. Turn your head to the right and look into your beautiful future. Until next time. Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.