5 Mar 2022 · 12 min
Thomas Anglero talks about grief and sadness as normal human experiences. He shares a personal story about a loved one's illness and recovery, then encourages listeners to mourn what they've lost while moving forward without falling into a victim mindset.
Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I want to talk to you about that subject area that we all experience, but no one wants to talk about because it's too painful. Let's talk about grief. Let's talk about sadness. Let's talk about getting your emotions torn apart, your heart shredded. Let's talk about when you can't get out of bed in the morning because you're so sad. When— not if, but when What's the last time you felt like that? Is there someone who broke your heart? Are you in a situation that you can't get out of? Have you made a decision that you knew was wrong, but you did it anyway, and it affected the lives of people you love? Is there someone in your life, or was someone in your life, sick and there was nothing you could do? We all, everyone, you, me, people in your family, your friends, your neighbors, your colleagues, people in your classroom, people on your team, people you see in the store that are just buying items for groceries. Every single one of them are currently or have recently gone through some moment of sadness, some terrible grief. And it's how you deal with that grief during that time you are sad, when you're in the middle of it, is what defines you when you come out of the grief, when you come out of the sadness. Because you will come out of it. There will be time after. The sun will rise. The plants will turn green again. But while you're in the middle of it, and if you're in the middle of it now, and many of us are sad, sad because of COVID sad because of what's happening in the Ukraine, sad because Someone we love is very sick and there's nothing you could do. That feeling of sadness, you have to remember that as you have that sadness, you cannot allow yourself to feel that you are a victim. Do not allow yourself to say, "Why me?" me. That is not allowed. Why me is destructive. You're putting something into the universe that is making you seem weak, holding you back, saying that everything comes to you that is negative. Why do you want to do that to yourself? Why do you want to think such destructive thoughts? Why do you want to be the magnetism and attract so much negativity? It's not why is you is everyone's going to happen to. It's just your turn. It's just this moment right now that is happening. It is horrible. It is bad, but it will get better. And that is what you have to remember, that with grief, with sorrow, with tears come the drying of the tears. Comes the future smile, comes the future realization that life comes back. Plants grow again. The sun shines again. A new person comes into your life and fills that empty void. If you stay with, "Why me? My life sucks. This stuff always happens to me." there will be no one to fill the void because you already filled it. You blocked them out. You've created a world that only you can exist in because it's so tragic and sad. So you might be wondering, how do I get out of this sadness? How do I get out of that? It's so horrible. You don't understand how terrible it was. This person, I loved them and they're gone. You get out of it by saying, "It's going to be better." For the past year, someone I love more than life itself has been sick. And throughout all that time, I never, ever once doubted that he wouldn't be better. And he is getting better. He's getting better every single day. But for a year, my heart was torn. But I never doubted. I never said, why me? Why me? This is inappropriate. He's the one who's sick. My job is to support him. My job is to always make sure there's a smile that he sees. My job is to remind him that the sun shines and he's got a tomorrow. Thomas Anglero. I didn't think about me, I thought about that person. When you are in grief, you don't think about you, you think about that person. You think about what they need. And if they're no longer in your life, what do you need? What you need is the happy version of you. What you need is the more confident version of you. What the world needs is that beautiful version of you. It is mandatory that you go through the sadness and the sorrow, but you don't bury yourself in it. Don't do that. It's only for a short time. I can't tell you how long or how short that time is. We're all different depending upon how much you love that person and how much that person love you. And how you attach to levels and things that we cannot understand in this universe because we're too damn stupid. It may take longer, but there will be a tomorrow that the air smells better, that things feel wonderful again. But I do not want you to play victim. You must be sad. You must recognize that your heart is broken and that the love that you have for someone or something or someplace is gone. But go through that sadness and remember there is a tomorrow. And you deserve to have all the love coming into your life. And it will. I promise you it will. The void will be filled. The smiles will come back. After one year, this person I love is getting better and his smile is coming back. So is mine. Life has these moments, and these moments can take a week, a month, a year of tearing you apart. But on the other side, there's life and all this beauty. And yes, there'll be more pain, and yes, there'll be more grief, but this next time, you know that the sun comes up tomorrow. Go forth and spread beauty and your light. Cry the tears that you need to cry. Stay in bed curled up under a blanket in a fetal position. Mourn the loss Mourn the sorrow. Mourn the death of what life you had before. And then in time, get out of bed, stand up, go to that new job, start that new training program, go outside, start your new life. You know, The Lion King had it best when it said, "The circle of life." And life is a circle. Don't stop your circle. You're not supposed to just be down. It swings. It's a circle. It comes around, it goes right back up. Don't keep yourself down. Enjoy the swing up. And then most of all, enjoy when you're at the top. Life is beautiful, and so are you. Life is beautiful, and so are you. I'm Thomas Anglero. I love you very much. And I truly understand the sadness and sorrow you've gone through, or you possibly are going through now. I'm so, I'm so sorry. I truly am. But I promise you, it will be better. They will be better. Your situation will be better. Because by default, I will always love you and you'll never be alone. Take care of yourself. Until next time.
Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com. And you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.
