This content was created by Thomas Anglero. This content was uploaded by Thomas Anglero. This is a podcast episode titled "Episode 154: Reflecting on the Death of Someone You Love" (PODCAST) published May 15, 2022. The episode is a reflective monologue by host Thomas Anglero about his father‑in‑law's decline and death from cancer, hospice experiences, and lessons about mortality, memories, love, and how to live a life that matters to others. The excerpt includes Thomas's personal anecdotes, exhortations to prioritize human connection over material success, and a brief sign‑off directing listeners to his website and social channels.
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Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I really have something important to share with you. I want to talk with you about life and that final moment when we pass away. This past week, my father-in-law passed away and He entered the hospice 2 weeks before. The entire process of seeing someone who suffered for so long, he died of cancer over the course of 16 years, but to see him from his energetic vibrant self, where his body is full of energy and muscle, his mind is full of ideas, his heart is full of love until his final day. Is a journey that I want to highlight for all of us. Something to remind all of us that life is fickle, that we all are going to die, and that every, every moment that we have, every word that we whisper, every action that we take, and if you don't do anything, that is an action, it's an action to not do any action. That they're all important. And then in your final moment— and I cannot say this loud enough, my voice is not 100% yet— but in your final moment, in his final moment, what I learned was what he had and what he was taking with him was his memories. As each member of the family came up to him and hugged them for the last time, he remembers so many beautiful things about each one of them, things they had done, things they had discussed. And the final moment that I hugged him, he recited so many wonderful things that had happened. When you pass, the only thing you take with you are your memories. I say this because so many people in the Western world are doing everything they can to make money. Let me tell you right now, the only thing you have with you before you die is the clothes on your back, and you don't take that shit with you. You don't take anything with you but the thoughts of the life that you had, all the people that you screwed. That's the stuff that comes into your mind at your last moments, because all you have with you are your mind and your thoughts and your memories. And if you spent an entire life screwing people, not being nice to people, taking— thinking about only about yourself, that's your final thoughts. And that's horrible to go. You have a choice now to go forth and be a better person so that your final moments, you die with some dignity and that you actually like yourself. He died as a proud man. He lived as a proud man. I stood there and I learned. I learned that being a proud person, being a righteous person, being a person who takes care of people is all that matters. If you're a millionaire or billionaire, who the hell cares? You're going to die. And you're gonna die with yourself. Or do you die with people around you who love you and not love you for the money in your wallet, but love you for the person and the things you did with their heart, the pleasures that you gave them, the smile that you gave the world, the tenderness, the attention, the listening. These are all the things in your final moments that matter. All the soft stuff, all the human stuff is all that matters. Everything else, the car, the brands of clothes that you wore, the house, house, the size of the house, number of women, number of men you slept with, all of that doesn't matter. Matter of fact, the, the whole sex thing comes back to haunt you because you never focused all your love on one person. You spread it around and you never found yourself, and they never found you. What type of life are you living right now? Are you attending meeting after meeting after meeting? Are you finding your real purpose? Are you happy with what you're doing? You know, he wasn't meant to go, but he obviously he was, right? But life could end for all of us anytime now. Think about it, in the middle of this podcast, as you listen to me right now, something could happen to you and your time is over. And as you lay there alone in your final moments, where you're going, God, this, this is good, this is it, isn't it? Are you proud of what you did yesterday and how you spent the whole day on Teams meetings or Zoom meetings? Are you proud that you didn't get a hug or hug someone yesterday? You didn't get a chance to hold somebody's hand yesterday? If you knew that this, in the next 10 seconds, this is it, it's over, are you proud of what you did in the last 24 hours? Are you proud of what you did in the last day, the last week? Live life that way and you'll make some major, major decisions. You'll live a very different life. You know, when we're in our 20s, we, we believe we know everything. We're supermen and superwomen, whatever. And I think that's a great time period, but yo, that's the time period for the 20s. That is over. And if you're younger than that, you're listening to this, you got a great time coming up ahead of you where you think you own the world. And I'm absolutely— go for it, just do it respectfully. But everybody who's listening to this podcast above 20, and you know who I'm talking about, I'm talking to you. Straighten your shit out. You're not 20. You're responsible for every action, every word that comes out of your mouth. You're responsible for your life. If no one likes you, it's your fault. If you don't like you, it's your fault. But you could change it and do something now. Again, in your final moments, it's your thoughts. What you take with you is your accumulation of the things you did, the people you you did it with and the feeling that you had at the moment that you did it. Don't disrespect yourself. Go forth and spread beauty and light. In my final— I wrote a speech, and in my speech and final words to him at the reception after his funeral, I used those words. Go forth and spread beauty and light, Irvin Haier. I miss him. And I hope to every single one of you that in your final moments someone misses you as much. And if you right now don't have a list of people in your head that miss you that much, then you got work to do. But you're living, you have a life, you have air in your lungs, you have the ability to do something, make that change. So I'm telling you right now, make that change. Make that change so that someone cries when you pass on, that the world does miss you. It's all on you. Just be loving. If you haven't been loving in a while, just start. It takes time. Everything's practice. But I guarantee you one thing. The world will love you back. We are all human and that is our gift. We are all intertwined together in this cosmos. Irregardless, what one person does affects the other. And we are all bound together by love. This is Thomas Anglero. Humble, reflective, missing my father-in-law very much. I love you all. Till next time.
Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com. And you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.
