Episode 170: Let Go of Friends and Family who are Holding You Back

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I apologize for my voice. I'm not feeling well today, but I want to talk to you about something really important, and that is detaching people from your life who no longer fit who you are, who no longer match the frequency that you live on? Whose words, whose advice, when you hear them today, are negative, they're destructive, they're against your moral code, but yet years ago, weeks ago, this person, or those people, or that doctrine fed you, got you to be inspired, got you excited. I'm here to tell you that it is okay to let them go, to let it go if it's a group or belief system, to let your friends go. If those were people that you say you went to high school with, say you went to college with, say you went to graduate school with, these are the people that sort of molded you and you hung out and you had great memories. But today they annoy you. Today they represent something that was in your past. That's no longer applicable. Let them go. I'm talking about people in your family you grew up with. You listen to them because of your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your uncle, your aunt. These were the chieftains in your family, in your community. And you had to listen to them when you were growing up in the past. But today it doesn't resonate with you. You don't believe in what they talk about anymore. You're actually quite shocked that they're still talking about the same things that they used to talk about. Nothing's moved on. You have. Your thought mindset has moved on. Your maturity has moved on. Your intelligence has moved on. Your ability to create your own world has been created. But they are stuck in a world that has been spinning around in the same spot, doing the same things, talking the same talk, and it no longer resonates with you. It is okay. Matter of fact, it is mandatory that you let them go. Let go of the husbands, the wives in your life who no longer feed you or need you. Talk to them, sit down with them, let them know. But if it doesn't work, let them go. The boyfriends, the girlfriends, the this, the they. I don't know my pronouns. Let them go. Let go of friends. Let go of school teachers. Let go. And most importantly, in general, let go of the past. So much of the anxiety that we all have, the anxiety you have in this very moment— I'm not good enough, or you look online, everybody else has it better than me— all that is based on a picture of the past. But if you look at the present, right now, this very moment, as you listen to my voice, things are going okay for you. Life ain't that bad. Things are okay. Therefore, you probably have it better than everybody else. I saw a really funny picture online. It was this influencer woman. She was trying to— she revealed how— excuse me— she revealed how she poses in pictures and how it totally changes the picture. She goes, this is what I want you to see. And she's a bodybuilder or weightlifter influencer, right? So she's in the gym lifting weights, turning her torso in a certain angle. Looking thin, muscles all ripped up, right? Right. Just looking really strong. And then she goes, that's what I want you to see. Then she says, now this is what you actually see. Then she stopped flexing, she stopped torquing her torso, and she just laid on this one piece of equipment and like 30 kilos appeared out of nowhere. It was amazing. And she said, if is all manipulation. The pictures online are all manipulation. Is what we want you to see. The life you have today is so much better than other people, if that means anything to you. The life you have today is so much better than what you had before. But those people who influenced you before, those people who you've now let go— the church, the school, The teacher, the family, the friends, the clubs. Let them all go. They all influenced you before, but your life is so much better today. They played a role, but that was before. Do not get caught up in the past. I remember to tell you a story. I didn't have the greatest childhood in the world, and I repeated that story quite often in my head. When I moved out of my house during my high school years. And somewhere in my college years, I realized, you know what, this record, this story that I keep repeating in my head over and over and over like a stuck record, doesn't help me at all. It doesn't do anything for me. If anything, it frustrates me because I'm repeating the same story in my head I don't know how many times per day. It got me absolutely nowhere. Excuse me again. So what I realized was if I wanted to make progress, the only way to make progress was to forget about that story completely and think thoughts of like, right now in this very moment, what do I want to do? What do I want to feel? What I want to be? What I want to enjoy? And I started living in the moment. And then after I started to enjoy being in the moment, I started thinking about, well, tomorrow I'd like to experience this. I like to go there. I hope I have a lot of fun. I want to go to the park. I want to just start and make plans. And all of a sudden I started now influencing the future. And then I eventually realized that that story that we all play in our head, that's an anchor. You're holding yourself back by repeating those stories. If you have anything that keeps on repeating in your head, no matter what it is, that's holding you back. That's your anchor. There's anchoring you from living the life you need to live. So what I want you to do is go forth and spread beauty and light. I want you to realize that It is okay in this new year coming up to let go, detach yourself without guilt. That's really important. Detach yourself from the people, the clubs, the organizations, the doctrine without guilt so that you can live the life and be the person you're meant to be. It is one of the ways that I actually made it mentally, from a person who was mentally anguished to a person who I feel I'm pretty damn stable. Not perfect, but a lot better than when I was repeating that record, that story, over and over in my head. My health improved, my physical health improved, my mental health improved. The smile on my face got bigger. When I let go of that same story, when I let go the people who are in my past who keep on talking about the same thing. I just went back to my old neighborhood, same people, same stories. It's as if time had not moved from 30, 40 years ago. I don't feel bad letting go of those people. Still friends, still family. Let go. I choose life. I choose the people around me. I choose the people that I love and the people that love me, who we together are existing and having a wonderful life and enjoying the journey of ups and downs, loves and tears, newborns and death versus people who are stuck. And they repeat the story, same story over and over again. They don't experience anything. They think they do, but they don't because they're only experiencing it through the one perspective that's been there since they were born. Change your story. Change the people that are around you. Change everything that holds you back. And then love life the way life absolutely loves you. This is Thomas Anglero reflecting on a trip abroad I took and realizing that the past is meant to stay in the past because I dictate who I am, who I will love, who I will be with, and where I'm going. You do the same. Until next time.