Episode 184: Finding Your Mental Clarity

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I want to talk to you about making decisions, making these really, really big decisions that change our entire lives. How do we make these decisions? I want to share with you a story about how I made the the biggest decision of my life. And from that lesson of figuring out how to do that, how that's absolutely changed my life, and then hopefully you, you'll benefit from that. I truly, truly hope you could somehow figure out how to get yourself there. Let me tell you the story real quick, and let's do this journey together. Many years ago, I decided to move to Norway. But living in New York City, full-time job, triathlete, popularity, blah blah blah, I had no reason to move to Norway except that I was in love. And I had a full scholarship. I just finished my pre-med. I was become— become a doctor. I got a full scholarship to California. I was going to move to California, become a doctor. But my girlfriend at that time, who's now my wife, gave me an ultimatum. And on that phone call, when I told her that I got this scholarship and she gave me the ultimatum, I didn't get upset. Now imagine that you're calling your girlfriend, your boyfriend, doesn't matter, to tell them that you've achieved something, that you're working 2 years of night school while working full-time. You have gotten a full scholarship. You're about to fulfill your dream, your lifelong dream, to become a doctor. This is huge. This is the phone call that you're so proud to make. And she throws an ultimatum, or he throws an ultimatum at you. Either you move to Norway, it's over. I said, I need some time. I didn't get upset. I didn't say, how dare you throw ultimatum in my moment. That mindset's completely wrong. That's a selfish mindset. I actually thought it was a blessing when she asked me Either you move to Norway or it's over. She called my bull. I said, I need some time. Hung up the phone. I didn't slam down the phone. I hung up the phone and I asked myself, how do I possibly make this decision? How do I decide Which life do I want from this moment on? Continue everything I've worked on? Or up and leave and move to another country? No friends, no family, no understanding of the language, no understanding of the culture, nothing, and rely upon one person. I mean, absolutely nothing. Back then, phone calls to the US were $15 a minute. The internet, as I said, didn't exist. Nothing. You are completely detached. You're all in, right? Burn the boats behind you. What I did was, for the next 3 days, I walked around like a zombie, and I kept asking myself, what is it that I want? What is it that I want? What is it that I want? What is it that I want? When you ask that self that question, and I think we ask ourselves that question every single day, what is it that I want? What is it that makes me happy? What makes me happy? That's a hard question because on the surface of that question, it's first the materialistic stuff, right? It's the cars, the boats, the house, and all that. And I guess when you're older, that's what it is. When you're younger, it's like Gucci bags and pocketbooks. I don't know, but it's always crappy stuff. But when you spend 3 days, 3 full days— I was walking around at work and people saying, Thomas, you okay? I was like a zombie walking around the office. I didn't do anything and I didn't feel bad because I knew I wasn't gonna stay at that job because either I was going to California to become a doctor and have this amazing life, or I was going to Norway. Either way, I wasn't staying at that job. So for 3 days I was a zombie. And I remember one time walking around, almost ran into the wall. I didn't see it because it was in the office. I just was thinking about this one question: What makes me happy? What is happiness? If you spend 3 full days asking yourself that question, you start digging down inside of your head. You go through the materialistic stuff, and underneath the materialistic stuff is then memories. Memories and moments of when you were happy. And once you go through that layer, the next layer, what you experience is, "Why did those moments make me happy?" And now you're starting to get to the good stuff. Why do those moments make you happy? As you understand why those moments make you happy, you start to understand who you are. Who you are in ways that you never understood before. After 3 days, I got to one simple thought: She's what's making me happy. She's the one. She makes me happy. And that was it. Now the decision was made. It was so clear. There was no fuzziness, there was no attitude, there was no emotion. It was such clarity. She's the one that made me happy. Picked up the telephone, called my girlfriend, and I said to her, "Guess what I have in my hand this time?" Because 3 days earlier in my hand I had the letter from the full scholarship to California. This time I had another piece of paper in my hand. And she says, "No, what? I don't know what you have in your hand this time." I said, "I have a one-way ticket to Norway." I'll see you in 3 weeks. That was it. The thought, the clarity, that decision changed my entire life. I decided to leave more of my friends behind, my family behind, my culture behind, my languages behind—Spanish and English—my understanding of the world, all of my training buddies, Everyone I've ever worked with, everyone I ever laughed with, everyone I ever cried with. I left everything behind. 3 weeks later, I jumped on an airplane and I started the most amazing life with clarity. To make such a decision You have to, you have to find that inner voice within you that understands, that inner voice that is not connected to noise, to thought, that's not connected to anything. That inner voice is actually you. It's a part of you that you don't pay attention to because it's this so confident person within you that it doesn't need attention. It's not yelling, it's not part of the noise, it's not part of the drinking, it's not part of the laughing. It just sits there in utter confidence. I guess it's sort of like your inner Yoda. It's always there. I remember during those 3 days when I was home, I would lay in my bed. Some people call it meditating. I was just dialing into my head. What makes me happy? What makes me happy? Because of that experience, because I found the path to my inner self, that most confident version of me. I now have a shortcut to that person, and I tap into that all the time when I make decisions. I've been doing it for so many years now that I could tap into it almost in a moment's notice. But in reality, you can't use it on every decision you make every day. It's not possible. But on the big ones, you just relax for a moment, calm yourself, calm your mind, and you get that feeling and you feel connected to yourself. You forget everything around you. You forget the problems, the people, the issues. You forget your allergy problems. You forget you're hungry. Via Bill's, you just feel this connectedness to yourself. And this is such a private, personal feeling, and it is wonderful. It's not a feeling of pleasure. It's just this feeling of connectedness, of oneness with your own self. And from there, in that moment, you then think of the question you have to solve, or the decision you have to make. And it's so clear. What the answer is. You don't think about the ramifications of the answer. You just know that's the answer. And I can't tell you how many times that answer, that decision I made based from being centered, how the outcome of that months and years from now was perfect. There was no way I could predict it, but it was perfect. Fine. That inner self and that inner voice. Find time to do nothing. Disconnect yourself from everything. No music, no radio, no TV, no internet, no nothing. Again, the first level is very noisy, as you try to go through these levels and layers of, you, and you're asking yourself, what makes me happy? And when you do the work, you will find a version of you that's been there your entire life. That is you— clear, confident, Elegant, caring, loving, and all-knowing. And that's you. It's always been you. Tap into your inner self. Go forth and spread beauty and light from your inner self, from That person within you is not a version of you. It is you. Make all your decisions from that person and you will live a life of no regret. I do not regret the decision I made to leave my entire life behind. The best thing I've ever done. Absolutely the best thing I've ever done. Not the easiest thing I've ever done, but it's the best thing I've ever done. Make all your decisions from your centered self. You will Find such peace and such happiness, and the people around you will find you. And isn't that a beautiful thing? I am Thomas Anglero, and you are who you are, and you will make life's biggest decisions With no stress, no emotions, with incredible clarity and calm, because it is the right decision, because you and your inner self know it is the only decision. Isn't that beautiful? I love you. Until next time. Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.