How to be a Great Man and an Awesome Husband

Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am the host, Thomas Anglero, and my mission for this podcast is to share with you those private thoughts and reflections that I have being one of the top keynote speakers around the world on technology, motivation, and innovation. I hope you truly enjoy all the lessons I share, all the dots I connect that sometimes are just really difficult to get out but it's all for you. I truly hope you enjoy this episode.

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I am talking to men in this episode. If you're a woman, you're going to find this talk extremely interesting because you have never heard this before. There's no way. This is something that is unique and has come out of my head out of being a man and I'm going to be calling other men's bullshit. And I apologize to those people who don't like using profanity, but it's the only word that I can find appropriate for this talk. And so men, listen up. Over the last few weeks during this past summer, several couples I know have told me that— I'm sorry, well, the wife of the couple has come up to me and told me that their man or their husband has left them for a younger version of themselves. This wasn't just once or twice, it was at least 3 times in the last few weeks I heard the same damn thing. This is why I'm pissed. Men, listen up. If you are married, listen up clearly. If you're not married, if you're soon to be married, or is he gonna marry in the future or something like that, listen even harder. All right, here's my point. Your wife, her appearance is a reflection and proportional to the amount of communication and attention you gave her. Period. I'm gonna repeat that because this is, this is dead serious. I'm calling out all the bullshit, all men. So many men, they get into their 50s and 60s, their wives get into their 50s, 60s, whatever, and they look at their wife and go, well, you know, she's no longer as round, or she, maybe she's too round, you know, and maybe things aren't as big, or they mean as big, they're too small, or whatever freaking criteria you have as a shallow man. And she's not exactly like the way she was when you met her back when she was 19 or when she was 25 and things like that. So you go and find a younger version of her. All right, here's the deal. If you had a damn good relationship and if you were communicating with her all the time, if you were constantly communicating, the relationship was flowing, you were talking all the time, you were sharing thoughts, you were sharing life experiences, you were doing things all the time. You two would be harmonizing at the same frequency, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She and her appearance would reflect your appearance. You've been trying to keep up with your appearance, she would try to keep up with her appearance. You both would not let each other slip, but instead You look at her now, you've had a good life, you've been doing your thing, you're a man, you know, I gotta go hang out with the fellas, I gotta go on this vacation, I have an important trip, I have to go out to this dinner, all this stuff men do. Excuse the excuse. Months go by, years go by, you look at her and go, hmm, that ain't what I married, gotta find me some younger meat. Calling your bullshit now. It's your freaking fault. I'm like, I'm a man and I'm telling you, all you men, you're full of shit. You all are full of it, full of it, totally, totally full of it. And if you're not married yet, I'm calling you out now. I'm gonna prevent you from decades of this crap. When you're in love, that's the person you want to be with. That feeling is intense, it redefines your existence, and you want to be in that moment for the rest of your life. And you can be in that moment the rest of your life if you just Use your time and energy and love to keep yourself there with her all the time. You can't be there all the time, but a slight phone call during the day, an SMS, a text message during the day, an instant message, whatever you want to do. Shit, get old school. Write a letter, put it in the mail. You get real far on that one. Your relationship with your wife is proportional to the amount of attention and communication you had. Her appearance is proportional to that. It's directly related to you and the time you guys spent together. If you didn't spend time together, that's what the problem is. It's not that she's not who was she meant to be, or who she was, excuse me. Now there's some exceptions. There are some exceptions. So to you women out there who are listening, saying, yeah, Thomas, go beat up men. Yeah, men are horrible. Shut the hell up. Sorry, I'm just going pissed off today because I met, I met a bunch of women who taught me an inside secret. And this woman wasn't drunk when she told me the story. She's just so damn direct. It was actually extremely wonderful to talk to her. And she says, Thomas, there are women out there who have the 'I've done my job' philosophy. And I said, what, what is the 'I've done my job' philosophy? I, I don't understand what you're talking about. She goes, it's real simple. There are a lot of women out there that they, they make sure they look good before they get married. They keep themselves in shape, they go to the gym, they eat right. They get married, still everything's fine, and then they get themselves pregnant. As soon as they get themselves pregnant, they go, "I've done my job." And after that, they never try to lose the weight. They don't care about their appearance anymore because they've done their job. They achieve their goal. And I asked her, that— I've never heard of that, that's crazy. And then she started telling me stories of her friends and how this is the inside secret. And I will not say all women, I'm not bashing women, I'm just talking about this one segment of women that in actuality, a lot of women— there's a lot of women that are full there. So that, that's an exception to the rule. If a man's married to that type of woman, then you, you, you know, that's a whole different ball game. But there are always going to be exceptions. So It was— minus the exceptions, and don't put yourself in the exception thing if you're trying to get away, but don't do that. Minus the exceptions, men, it's your fault. Or if you're not married yet, it's going to be your fault. Don't do that. Hold on to that moment of love. Hold on to that feeling that I— you're thinking about it all day at work, you think about it all the time you're not with her. When you're hanging out with friends, you're playing some sport activity or whatever, and you're thinking about it all the time. You could hold on to that moment for the next 20, 30, 40 years through 3, 4, 5 kids, 3, 4, 5 grandkids, you can still be in that bliss all the time. And all it takes is for you, for you to spend time with her, to communicate openly, transparently. Don't have that many secrets. It's okay as a human being to have a few secrets, but don't have that many secrets. And most importantly for men, this is hardcore for men, talk about your damn insecurities to her. If you don't, that stuff is going to eat you. And then what your insecurities are going to do is going to start formulating who you are. You have an insecurity about not being too confident, you're going to overcompensate, starting to formulate who you are. You have an insecurity about your weight, you're going to get even bigger. Insecurities start affecting who you are. But once this— I'm telling you, I'm telling you, everybody listening, The second you share an insecurity with someone, and if that— you, if you need to, if you need a safe place to share insecurities, find a stranger. Here's something I've done, right? I'm on this, the subway or a train or a bus. I start a conversation with someone, or matter of fact, in the airport all the time. I talk to everybody, right? And I know I'm not going to meet this person ever again. So what do I say to them? Doesn't really matter if it was my life. It does matter in a universal spiritual way. But what I realized is that if I'm completely open and honest with this person and I share with them something that's really a secret of mine, an insecurity of mine that really embarrasses me, what are they going to do with it? Who are you going to share it with? I'm not going to see them again. So the cost is very close to zero, but the benefit is huge. Because I could safely share an insecurity that would embarrass me around my personal circles, at least I think it will. Well, it probably won't, because if the people around me love me, they don't care about my insecurities. They won't embarrass me with it. Then I've shared it with someone, and I've taken it from my head, which has been spinning around. I put it out into the universe. I say it out loud, and that insecurity is no longer an insecurity. I've taken all this power away. So if you, if you have a whole bunch of insecurities, like, how do I do this? Like, there's no friends that I have, there's no one I'm close enough, my girlfriend is not close enough, my boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend, or whatever, start a conversation with anybody. Next time you go to a party, next time you're at a cafe, you're at Starbucks, next time you buy a coffee, start, start talking to someone, share an insecurity. It doesn't have to be like, you know, something dark. It's, it could be a small one. You know, I have this fetish for jelly beans. I always have to have jelly beans after I eat a meal. That's a cool insecurity, you know. But start somewhere and start just talking and take away those insecurities. Men, we have no excuse. We have absolutely no excuse to be running off with a younger version of the woman we married a few years or a few decades ago because you want a younger version. That is some bullshit. I'm calling you bullshit right now. If you're a man that did this, you need to check yourself. You need to completely check yourself. If you are truly in love with that woman, then fine. God bless you both. Have a wonderful life. If you're truly in love with that woman and you truly believe that you're wrong for what you did, go tell the woman that you left the truth. Man up. If there's anything, everybody's got to man up. Matter of fact, some women have to man up too. I could keep going, and I hope I haven't been rambling, but I am sick and tired. Of men running off with younger versions of their wives when they did not invest in the time with her in the past. That is unacceptable. That you're destroying families, you're destroying people, you're destroying yourself, and you're making yourself shallow. And everybody around you is not telling you, but I'm gonna tell you right now. Mm, trying to hold back using profanities. You're not a nice person and we're calling you out. All right, we see you for what you did, and no, we're not impressed that you got a young one. We think it's kind of nasty. I apologize for the profanity. Sorry for yelling. I am not sorry for all the pathetic men that we have in this world. Go forth. And spread beauty and light. Be the ultimate version of yourself and take your insecurities and put it on the outside, and it will bring you life bliss. I love you, all of you, especially men, because I believe in you. Until next time.

Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.