How to create trust instantly… The answer will surprise you - Soul of Innovation

I'm here in Gothenburg, Sweden at a beautiful church that you see behind me, and I'm reflecting on a presentation I gave this past week. The presentation was on trust. What is trust? It was the conference on marketing, and so how do you build trust with people in the marketing space online and things like that? I gave the presentation and I think I did okay. It could have been a lot better. I set a high standard for myself because there has to be a feeling, a moment in the presentation that I feel that I am connected to every single person out there. "Yeru kezumata." If it's 250, 850, 2,500, that connection is made and I got you. But it's got to be everybody, everyone. But irregardless, After the presentation, I thought a lot about it. And here where I am in Gothenburg, I'm here for a basketball tournament, and it hit me. It hit me as to what's missing when it comes to trust. An athlete trusts their coach so much that the coach knows everything. But what does it take to get to that athlete to trust that person? Now, the coach is not their mother, not their father. It's a figure, it's an important person that's supposed to be, besides an expert, but a virtual mother, virtual father, someone who's going to give them advice to take them to the next level. How do you build that trust? I was driving the kids in the car to the game and my wife was giving them a great speech. Speech about what should they do as from a team point of view, what should they focus on. I was really proud actually, it was really powerful speech. And then one of the kids asked, or my wife asked, I forgot, you know, Thomas, do you have anything to say? And I said, they're bigger than you, they're faster than you, They're stronger than you, so you have to go after them all game long and don't stop. You miss a shot, you get the rebound, you go again and again and again, and you don't stop. They call a timeout, you don't stop. When I was done with my short little speech, I don't know who in the back— there were 3 other players in the back. What I'm saying— wow, yeah, instant trust. Sometimes trust could take, you know, years and months, and then sometimes trust could take a second. It's not how— it is how you say it, but I think it's more than how you say it. It is what you truly believe when you say it in that moment, and the people listening They have to decide, "Yeah, you know what? That's it. That, that, that, I not only believe you, but I'm gonna follow you. I not only believe you, but I trust you so much I'm gonna dedicate my body for the next 2 hours in this game, in this competition against people who are stronger, bigger, faster, and nastier, and I'm gonna do what you say." So here's the two things. Number one, can you be the person to say that speech? Can you be the person to tap into someone, to a kid, to a stranger, and ignite something within them that maybe has never been ignited before? Or are you the receiver of this information and can you allow someone to touch you and motivate you and elevate you? Trust is everything. Everything, you will— I realize that we will not move ahead. You will not move ahead in anything, in any moment, any activity, whether you're doing homework, whether you're competing in a competition. If you don't trust yourself to allow yourself to trust someone else, you're done. Trust is everything. And with such a powerful word, we made it so simple, just said trust. It takes away from the meaning of this word, the implications of this word that's going to redefine us, going to change us. Think about it right now. Just, just take a moment. And think about when's the last time you let someone's words touch you and then you trusted them immediately. And if you can't think of something, take a moment, think of some time in the past. And if you can't think of some time in the past, then ask yourself, Why not? Why haven't you allowed someone to come into your thoughts, into your heart, into your soul, and trusted them? Maybe that's what's been holding you back. Maybe you're the person that other kids, other adults need, and your words can make a difference in someone else's life, and then you'll teach them about trust. A lot of people talk about that love is the most powerful thing, love is everything, but before you can love someone, you have to trust them. Before someone's gonna love you, they have to trust you, but they gotta know you first. And you have to trust yourself. I wish I would have gave and said this in my speech this week. I think it would have been a better speech, but I'll share with you the 3 examples that I gave, and then I'll leave you with that because I think they're the business examples, but they sort of work, and I'll do the short version. The first example was I was in a meeting, actually this past week. The CEO of the other company represented literally billions of dollars, came in, he had his unbuttoned his shirt, hair sticking out, and he took over the meeting, 2-hour meeting, for an hour and a half. He, no matter when anybody spoke, he ran them over, he just kept on talking, he kept on saying, I'll buy you this, I'll buy up your company, I buy up companies all over the world. He said, I attended a lunch, I put down a blank check, blah blah blah, one of these really be, you know, gregarious guys, whatever. After an hour and a half, all of my colleagues tried their best to get through this guy's head and they couldn't. He looked at me and he said, "You, what do you think of this?" I ignored this question completely, completely ignored it. And I told him, "You know what, you want to succeed in business in Norway, you want to succeed in business in anywhere, Say what you're gonna say and shut the hell up. Now I know that is completely wrong against all the so-called business rules, social rules, and all that stuff. But one thing, why do people— what are people looking for when people behave in such a way? That's what I was looking at, and that's why I didn't speak. I was looking for what does this guy want from me? What does this guy want from anyone? He wanted help. So I gave him what he needed. After I said what I said, he then leaned back in his chair. Everyone in the room froze, and he said, "You remind me of my best friend." And then he leaned forward and said, "I'm staying in this hotel. I want you to come hang out with me this week." Instant trust. There is no formula for people. I mean, that's— everybody says that and all that, but damn it, we get in our own way. You know, you're in a meeting, you're thinking, "I gotta impress this guy. I have to be the most intelligent person there is." I have to dress nicely. At the end of the meeting, nobody remembers the clothes you had on unless you came in a clown suit or as a carrot. I mean, I would remember if you put on a carrot costume. I remember you in a good way. You get my attention. But what they remember is how do you touch them. Go into a meeting and say, "I'm gonna touch the people in this meeting. I don't know how, but I'm gonna touch them." I guarantee you, you will do better, you'll generate more business, and long-lasting, really, really long-term. Versus the short-term, "He's got some money, I want that money out of his pocket by the time he leaves the room." How many times you seen people talk that way and that stuff failed? Of course it's gonna fail. It doesn't have a chance. I think I'm going to stop there because giving business stories is business stories, but they're good examples. The point is, you have got to let go of all the stuff in your head. You have to get a little— all your issues, you have to let go of Who's looking at me? Who sees me? All this stuff we think about. And in that moment, feel the other person and give them what they need. And when you give them what you— they need, you then have established trust. That's it. But it's so hard for people because we're so caught up in ourselves. Trust is the layer, the foundation layer, the cornerstone of love. You will never get to love unless you have trust. Trust for you, trust for someone else. I didn't think a presentation would do so much thinking, make me think so much at a basketball tournament. Uh, we won the game today, we lost yesterday. I don't want to get into all that, yes, that mess. But, um, uh, yeah, I'm in a good mood, and I hope this helped you. I hope this not just helped you, I hope this makes you reflect. If anything, I hope this makes you reflect, and I hope you get a chance to go outside, get some air, or lay in your bed and just think about, do I trust me? Do I— do you trust yourself? Do you trust yourself enough to be Be who you truly are to everyone else. If you do, then you made it. Congratulations. I trust you. Take care.