How to Heal Yourself

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and there's some time that you just can't do anything and you're stuck where you are. You feel like you're that mouse in the wheel going around and around and around. No matter what you do, you're in the same place. And it's the universe testing you. It's the universe forcing you to think, why are you still where you are? Why are you still in the same relationship and that relationship hasn't changed? Why are you in the same job? Or maybe you've changed positions, but is your head exactly the same? Why have you not progressed in your team that you're in and you're not part of the starting team? You're still part of the second team or third team. Why has your life stagnated? Why are you where you still are? This is the eternal question. This is the challenge that we all have. And the answer to that is because the universe is saying that we must change and push ourselves. That is the answer. Let me tell you a story. Like you, I go through challenges all the time, and I find myself back in the same place that I found myself several years ago when life was extremely difficult. But I'm not exactly in the same place, and that's the epiphany I have. I could sit in the same chair, I could sit at the same table, but I'm not the same person because I've spent time reflecting, because I spend time thinking, because I spend time feeling. Feeling— what are my feelings for others? How can I be a better person? What is it that I truly want? That I realize that as I sit here, I am not the same person. My head gets hungry for more, wants to conquer more, wants to do more, it wants to achieve more. I realize that just because I sat still in one spot for a very long time, or at least in this— I'm back in the same spot that I was before— it doesn't mean I'm the same person. At this moment now, I'm sick and tired of being in this spot. This moment now, I'm ready to attack. What do you do when you find yourself in the same position, or do you not realize you are in the same position? There's so many people out there, and are you one of them who you know deep down inside you really haven't changed? You really haven't progressed. You're still the same person with the same type of thoughts you've always had. And you're hiding it by going for a run, joining different clubs, doing different things, but nothing's really changed. The things in your life that you really want to change has not changed. Are you one of them? What it takes to change is for you to just do. But you have to do something. You have to do what you know you've been avoiding to do. That thing that you do that will change your entire life, that will disrupt your happiness, that will maybe make you move out of your house, that will make you change your job, that will make you change your religion, that will make you change the country that you live in, that will destroy all the happiness that you have and peace in your life. That is what you must do. Don't you understand the inner lack of peace that you have because you know what you need to do is destroying you and eating you alive. Look at your health. There are so many thousands, maybe tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of stories that probably never get published of people who cured their health by just having a thought, by realizing that, yeah, you know, I've been hiding this forever. I did a TED Talk a few years back, and one of the stories I told was about these two men who— they just didn't talk for 24— they were best of friends for many years, for their whole lives. They were best of friends since they were kids in kindergarten. They were best of friends, and they had a falling out in their 50s or something, and they despised each other. They were late into their 70s, early 80s, and one of them was not doing well. He was quite sick, and he realized he hadn't talked to his best friend in over 30 years. So he went to his best friend's house and knocked on the door. The other old man answered the door, and he said, "What are you doing here?" And the man said to him, who's not feeling well, he said, "You know why I'm here." "What are you doing in my house? How dare you?" "You know why I'm here." And the man whose house, who he visited, said, "No, no, no, no, no, don't, don't tell me." 'No, no, no, don't do this to me now, don't do this to me now.' And the other man said, 'You know why I'm here.' And the old man at the door said, 'No, no, no, don't do this now.' And they both started to cry, and in an instant they both jumped into each other's arms, healing all wounds, all hatred, all animosity, all negative thoughts they've had of each other for 30 years. All gone in a moment because they let go of the past. They let go of the stupidity and they embrace the moment, embrace the fact that their friendship Their bond, their existence on this planet comes from being together. Both men became healthy. The old man who was sick became better. The other man who didn't realize that he had become quite old became quite young. Love heals all wounds, but we have to be real about yourself. You have to do that thing inside of you that you don't want to do, that you know that's going to heal you, but it's going to hurt you so much. Think of that story of that old man, 30 years plus almost half his life of not being with his own friend, his best friend. That just kills. Imagine on purpose, just avoiding your best friend, the person you share your entire childhood and your adult life with. You avoid them. Of course you need them in your life. Of course you need that love. You're not even complete. What do you need to do in your life to be complete? You. Who do you need to talk to? Who do you need to embrace? Or flip it around. Who do you need to extract out of your life? What do you need to get rid of in your life? You know in your life what is tearing you apart. Get rid of it or bring it in closer. This is how you stay alive. Being alive with all these inner frustration and inner thoughts is horrible. That's not living, that's torture. Yes, there are people who upset you, but do you miss them? Do you truly, utterly miss the smell, the presence Do you miss their gaze? Do you miss their smirk and their laugh? Do you miss just seeing them around the corner? My father-in-law passed away over a year ago, and I miss him terribly. And I'm never gonna see his gaze. I'm never gonna hear his baritone voice. I'm never gonna hear his laugh. And there's nothing I can do about that, but I miss him. But if you're in a situation that the person that you miss the most is reachable, then complete yourself and reach out to them. If you're with someone right now who doesn't feed you, that is destroying you, that doesn't— makes you incomplete, that ignores you, then you know what you have to do. For every day that you go on, for every day you continue with this person in your life, is it your life? Are you actually waking up and doing all the things you want to do? Maybe physically, but mentally and especially emotionally, you're not you, because that they are— they are a piece of you now. No matter what you do in a day, they are part of your day. You have to get rid of them. You have hatred or dislike of someone and they're constantly in your thoughts. You have to get rid of that. You have to get rid of them and that hatred. What does it cost and what do you have to do to get rid of that? You wanna have love in your heart. You wanna have love in your thoughts. And that's so hard. I know it is. But you have to have that. And the moment you have that, you feel this tranquility, this peace. You feel like those two old men that embrace after 30 years of not talking and hating each other. I'm so jealous of that hug they must have at that moment. When they embraced after 30 years. Can you imagine the intensity? Can you imagine the love that was there? Oh, I wish I was one of them. You wish you were one of them, and you can have that moment. Take action in your life. Stop self-torturing yourself. If there's someone in your life that is making your life hell, get rid of them. If there's someone who should be in your life who was in your life, bring them back, or at the very least, let them know. Go forth and spread your beauty and your light to the people that deserve it. If it is meant to be, they will see your beauty and And they will see your light, and they will see your love, and they will share their light and their love and their beauty back to you. And then that moment was meant to be, and you are complete. But don't fake it and lie to yourself. You understand where you are incomplete. Attack that, because you're not living your life until you do. I'm Thomas Anglero. I love you. I believe in you. And I'm sorry that this This journey is going to be painful, but as I've already said, it's worth it. As those two old men that hugged each other, oh man, was it worth it to heal wounds that are 30 years old, to heal wounds that have been there for half a lifetime, to heal to get rid of all those negative thoughts. God, what a relief that must be. And you are one decision from having that relief from getting rid of all those negative thoughts. You're one decision from it. Some of you are one phone call from it. Some of you are one car ride away from it. Love yourself. Make that call. Take that car ride, that bus ride. Forgive that person. Forgive yourself. Take care. Until next time. Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.