How to Speak with Confidence

Yesterday I was talking to my son. He's 25 years old. He asked me, Papa, how is it when you speak, you talk with so much confidence? You talk like the answers you're giving, you have been thinking about it your whole life. There's no doubt in your voice, in your tone. I told him, you know, I'm 58 years old, and that answer, the answer to this question, has nothing to do with age. It has to do with a moment that happened back when I was a teenager, back when I was in high school, that when I was talking to a teacher I went to— I'm from my— when I grew up, I was from the projects, Lower East Side of Manhattan, and I went to a really amazing private school, and I didn't belong there at all. And a teacher— I was with my two friends. I remember this moment very strongly. My teacher asked me, He asked me a question, and I had never heard someone formulate a sentence in that way. He used words that I have not heard of before up until that moment. I was so intimidated just by his English, and also that he was looking down on me. And my friends are there, and I realized this was a moment— I said to myself in that moment, do I try to bullshit this and use all the street knowledge I've learned from growing up in the ghetto, or do I answer this, answer his question authentically? I lifted my head up at him and I told him, I don't understand your question, but if you meant the following, then I would do this, this, this, this. I remember him looking at me. I remember him not even blinking. It was freaky. And he paused after I was done and he said, that's not what I asked you. In that moment, I felt like crap because I said, damn, I'm an idiot, he caught me. And then he said, but I understand and respect your answer, and I thank you. And he wouldn't let up. It was that moment, at that moment, that the Thomas was born. That the child, that the kid growing up in the ghetto, that all the street stuff you're supposed to do to get over in life. I realized at that moment that all that was not going to serve my purpose of being me, that being me, the raw me, the voice within me that speaks without the filter. You know how when you think about something, then it's filtered through the brain, you start thinking about, will that person like it? Will that person respond? What do they think about me? All this crap that goes in our head. I got rid of all that and I talk from within my inner voice and I just let it speak. And you notice how I close my eyes and I close my eyes because I'm blocking everything else out. I'm blocking out that I'm recording, I'm blocking out microphones. I'm talking from within. My DNA is vibrating, that double helix chain, it's vibrating words, and those words are coming out. That is how I speak. That is why people speak with confidence. Do you speak like that? When you speak Do you speak with your inner voice, or do you filter it with all the thoughts in the mind of what is this person going to think? Am I going to sound like an idiot? All these things we put in our heads. Or do you speak your voice, your thoughts? Has anyone ever heard your voice and your thoughts unfiltered from all the crap that society has thrown in there, that all the insecurity that you have has put into your head. That is what and who you are meant to be. If you're struggling now, wondering why are things so difficult, why don't people like me, why don't people see me— this has nothing to do with your teens and 20s. I mean, there are people— you could be in your 40s or 50s or 60s and still have this same struggle. And I'm never going to say it's a simple solution, because to be naked in voice, to be naked in soul, to allow someone to see the inner you, that's hard. It's hard only because you haven't done it yet. And I was fortunate that at 15 years old, I called my own bullshit. In that moment when that teacher asked me that question, and I decided to stand straight up and answer him from my soul, I answered him risking and affirming that I did not understand what he was saying. Showing that his English was far superior to mine, that I did not even understand how he broke that sentence up in that sentence structure. Just beyond me that anybody could speak so eloquently. I revealed my ignorance, and in doing so, I gave birth to my intelligence. I gave birth to me, to the adult. A lot of your struggles in life are coming because you have not— you have been existing as the child, even if you're 50 and watching this. But the adult you, the— let's not even call it adult, let's call it the mature you, the one that is responsible for everything that they say and the ramifications that come from those words. That's not scary? If the words come from within and it's all you? What's there to fear about? It's nothing. It's exactly how I feel. I'm saying it with the intensity, with the speed, with the emphaticness that needs to be said. Because that's how I feel. There's no risk in that. I'm giving you all of me. Zero risk. There's no failure because it's pure me that can't fail. It's perfect. Be you. Allow the you to be born. Now, if other people, when you talk that way, and they go, 'No, I disagree. Oh, you're so wrong,' or whatever way people respond in your environment, so what? They're allowed to express their opinion. They're allowed to disagree. And you take that moment to go, 'Thank you very much for your opinion. I appreciate that. This is mine. This is yours.' I've learned a lot today. I learned a lot in this moment. I hope you have too. That's what you should be thinking in your head. There's no risk, there's no harm. Speak from your DNA. A lot of people say speak from your soul, but I have this picture of the double helix, you know, the DNA that wraps around itself, and I see it vibrating. I always have this picture of I know when I'm tapping into my inner me that my double helix is shaking. It's like vocal cords, you know, like the DNA makes the vocal cords vibrate and then the words come out. Crazy picture in my head. That's when you are your authentic self. Let people feel your vibration and then life becomes It won't become easier, but it instantly becomes beautiful. It becomes lighter. It becomes fresh because you are no longer hiding. You have no more layers on top of you. You are just this naked, beautiful thing, and you're you, and you don't care about anybody else. And all of a sudden you find that people are magnetized to you because it is very rare to find someone who's authentic. You want to be a magnet? Want to be the center of attention? Talk from your DNA. I love you. I'm Thomas Anglero. Until next time.