Learn to Take a Punch (Rejection)

Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am the host, Thomas Anglero, and my mission for this podcast is to share with you those private thoughts and reflections that I have being one of the top keynote speakers around the world on technology, motivation, and innovation. I hope you truly enjoy all the lessons I share, all the dots I connect that sometimes are just really difficult to get out but it's all for you. I truly hope you enjoy this episode.

Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I want you to ask yourself a question: how good are you at taking a punch? A punch in the form of hearing the word no. When you ask for something or you apply for a job or you ask someone out for a date? Are you good at taking that punch? You have to be good at taking punches. It is fundamental into being successful, successful and happy, because it is all down to a numbers game. Let's take a step back. For you to be successful, for you to be able to handle those nos, you have to believe in yourself. You see, people don't have to compliment you. People do not have to make you feel good, because if you flip it around, how often Do you compliment others? How much do you spend your day just going around making other people feel good? It's just not in the nature of most people. Some countries and some cultures, it's built in. The Latin American cultures is built in. Latin Italian culture is built in. Spanish culture built in. You go to the Nordic cultures, absolutely not. You are considered crazy if you go around complimenting people. People appreciate it, but also people think you're nuts because it's not built into the culture. It is fine. There's no judgment. It is different. The beauty of our world, it is dynamic. But my point is that you should not expect to be complimented since you must believe in you. You are amazing. You are great. And for you to be even greater and to feel that confidence, you have to understand that you have to learn to take a punch. You're going to get punched. You're going to get rejected. You're going to get nos. But it's a numbers game. Let me make you feel good there. It's a numbers game. I remember a guy I met a long time ago. He gave me some, I thought was crazy advice, and since then his advice on women has stood with me my whole life. And this is advice from men to women, not women to men, because I don't think the same advice works, and you'll see what I mean. He said, Thomas, look, I'm not a good-looking guy. And he wasn't. He wasn't, you know, your Brad Pitts, or, you know, this— he didn't have the cheeks, he didn't have, you know, whatever. I know looks is very subjective. Attractive, but, um, you know what I'm talking about. He didn't have, say, let's say the Hollywood looks. Um, he didn't have muscle, he didn't have— he was overweight, he wasn't super tall, whatever. He didn't have the whole package, whatever. He knew it. And he says, this is my greatest gift. And I go, what do you mean? I go, I'm not saying you're ugly. I said, this is a funny conversation. We both started laughing. He goes, no, I get it. He goes, that's the secret, I get it. He sees— he said, what I do is I go up to women, I go to a bar, or I go to a restaurant, or I'm at a party, and I go up to women and I tell them, 'You're very beautiful. I'd like to take you to dinner.' And some women I say, 'I'd just like to take you home with me.' He goes, '19 out of 20, I get an instant rejection.' But he goes, 'It's a numbers game. There's always one.' I'm like, 'Seriously?' And he goes, 'Oh yeah, by the way, I only go to the most beautiful women I see in the world.' He goes, he goes, "I'm only with women who are models." I thought that was interesting. And this guy is now married to an absolutely drop-dead supermodel, wonderful woman. They've had a wonderful family. Everything is perfect. And he goes, "Life is a numbers game." And I thought to myself, where are the facets of life? Does life come down to a numbers game? And I thought almost everything is a numbers game. When you have a startup, all the startups that I've had, and I'm pitching my idea and I'm explaining my idea, I've over time, you know, you get the nos, you get the rejections. The worst is you get people who just walk away, and that happens a lot too. How often you're in a project and you explain the idea and the group, the committee that you're presenting to, just isn't moved? You see, it's just a numbers game. It's going to happen. And it's gonna happen because you're perfecting your craft is one. Maybe two, you were not meant to get a yes at that moment. I've always thought about something, and I think it's 100% true. If you got what you wanted in that very moment, would you be ready for it? Think about it. You know, they say that 95% of all lotto winners, the people who win the money, and you know, you scratch off something, you circle the numbers, you know, weekly lotto drawings around the world, then 95% of them go broke within the first 2 years. NBA basketball players, American professional basketball players, 95% of them go broke within the first year. Let's say 2 years. I think it's the first year, but let's give them some credit. I love basketball players. They go broke, and all the reason is, is maturity. See, if you get or receive or are given what you want, are you ready for it? You're probably not. So those nos are your learning lessons. Those nos, those punches are what you need to make you better. You have to learn to take a punch. Some people say you have to learn to roll with a punch. To hell with it, take the punch. I think, you know, getting hit hard wakes you up. Getting hit hard a whole bunch of times wakes you up, maybe too much. But life is about the numbers. But the thing is, okay, you're gonna say, oh, get a no, let me go pitch again, do my idea to this other group of people, get a no. But if you're not changing— remember, the key word to my whole thing is maturity— if you're not maturing and modifying your presentation, if you're not modifying yourself along the way, then you're just getting punched for the sake of getting punched. And that's not, that's not a numbers game, that's just stupidity. Are you maturing yourself, your message, your thoughts, your way of being, your existence every day? You have to learn to take a punch but reflect, why did I get punched? Why did I go left? Why didn't I go right? Why didn't I present this in a different way? Maybe my idea is not perfect. Maybe my approach is not perfect. Maybe I'm not perfect. Oof, am I? That's a big one. See, it's all about maturity. Learning to take a punch makes us better. It gets us to where we need to be. One more story. I was in engineering school. And my professor, Professor North, never forget that man. Um, for good and for bad, he tortured me, but at the same time he was there when I was at my lowest point and kept me in school. I went to him one day, it was like my second year of engineering school, and I was done. I was not doing well, I wasn't getting it, it was killing me, and he was a big part of it. But he was polite about it, he was politely killing me in class. I could not understand what this man was saying, what was the point It just was too much. So I went up to him after class one day and said, Professor North, I'm really thinking about dropping out of engineering school. This is not for me. He stopped. And this man's tall. I'm 6'2", I'm 180 centimeters. This guy was much taller than I was. Big, gigantic, wide man. And he looked down at me and he says, Thomas, understand this. He goes, some people enter engineering school and it takes them 5 years before they become an engineer. Some people enter engineering school and it takes them only 3 months. He says something happens in your mind and then you're ready. Some people 5 years, some people 3 months. That sage wise advice he gave me at that moment. I decided to keep on going engineering school, and I'm extremely happy I did. And obviously that was a huge moment in my life, and that's why I share it with you. But I also reflect and hold on to that story because that applies to almost many things in our lives. It's all about taking those punches until you're ready. It's all about maturity. Some people mature and understand things in a very short time, and some people take 5 years. That's a lot of punches. And the poor thing is you're taking that many punches because you're supposed to change your perspective. You're supposed to mature and question yourself along the way, and then you are where you're supposed to be. And most importantly, you are the person you are supposed to be. Do you reflect and mature yourself? Do you even think of yourself in that way? You must, because then if not, you're torturing yourself. If— do you ever feel like you're one of that— the hamster running in the wheel, you know, just going nowhere but using huge amounts of energy? Every day is the same grind. Every day is the same thing. Get up, go to work, go to the store, buy some food, same food, same husband, same wife. You're a hamster in the wheel, and the way you get off the damn wheel is by reflecting. Look at your life, look at your friends, look at the people around you. Are you the smartest person amongst your friends? I mean, a lot of people talk about that, and I'll repeat it now. It's not bad advice and not a bad thing to think about. If you're the smartest person around amongst your friends, you need to get a whole new group of friends. If they're true friends, they will pull you up, not pull you down. They'll make you better than what you are. They'll come to you and tell you when you're right and when you're wrong. But if you're the smartest person of your friends, if you're the, the wealthiest person amongst your friends, if you're the happiest person amongst your friends, you need to get a new group of friends. I'm not saying to get rid of those, probably good to have. Never get rid of anybody, that's the wrong way to live life. But surround yourself with people who challenge you, and maybe they don't have to be friends, but you need to be challenged. And then you find your path to the life that has been waiting for you. Go forth and spread beauty and light. And sorry about all these heavy thoughts this early morning, but this is important. You are important. Your happiness is critically important. Learn to take a punch and then reflect and then mature so that you never ever get punched again. I love you. I truly believe in you. And I'll see you the next time. Take care.

Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.