20 Apr 2020 · 7 min
Thomas Anglero discusses how to move through the COVID-19 crisis by dropping self-criticism and judgment of others. He argues that compassion, listening, and self-care are what actually heal during times of upheaval.
Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero, and I want to talk to you about criticism. You know, these days everybody is at their edge and some people have gone beyond that.
The days of Corona are here.
And the aftermath and the during-math, if there's such a terminology, is in full effect, is in full play.
Whether I'm on the phone, on WhatsApp, texting, doesn't matter. The stories are multiplying or continuing.
They're giving birth to more stories, and I don't see this thing ending.
And everybody is getting pissed off, and I mean everybody. Everyone's affected. Wherever you're listening to this episode, this podcast, you have to realize this: that the country and the city or the town or the building or the room that you're in, there are people in other rooms and other towns and other cities and other countries all over the world who are in the same situation. Not identical, but feeling the same grief, the same sorrow, the same helplessness, the same lack of faith, the same worry, the concern.
You get my point? I—
it's everywhere and everyone I talk to. So what I want to do is this: I want us to just step back just for a second and understand the damage that we can do to each other and we can do to ourselves most of all. When with all this anger and all this frustration, we take it out and we give some negative criticism, some negative comment about someone someone or something, do you know how much that sets you back? One of the biggest things that you can do for you, I mean, people say it's to forgive people, but I think that's really hard. And, and, and then of course you should forgive people, but the place you start to, you end again to the point where you can forgive someone who's hurt you, or it is worst cases when you don't even know who you're pissed off about. So you don't even know who to forgive. Where you start off with is not criticizing anyone, because in that moment when you criticize someone, you're yelling, 'Oh, that son of a—' 'Oh, they did this.' 'Oh, that's horrible. They don't care about all the—' You know, all these criticisms.
Put a mirror in front of yourself. If you're the person standing in front of you and not just heard your words, but saw the wrinkles on your face, the shape of your lips, the squinting of your eyes and all that anger, would you be impressed with you? There is no version of criticism that is pretty. Let me be more direct. There's no version of you When you're criticizing someone, that's pretty.
Criticism is the most almost deadly thing you can do to yourself.
It stops you in time. It stops you from growing. It stops you from seeing all the things around you.
It makes your world so damn small. And then in my mind, in my experience— forget my mind— in my experience, it stops time. Whatever growth I have, I have stopped my growth. I've stopped my maturity, I've stopped my wisdom, I stopped my exploration, I've stopped my curiosity, and I've just fell into a hole of grief and sorrow and just criticism and negativity. And it'll take I don't know how long to get out of that. Let's not criticize each other right now. We all need compassion, love, understanding, and you know, most of all Listen, we all just need to listen to each other.
And hopefully with people you're listening to, they're not criticizing. They just need somebody to hear their story, their sorrow, their pain, their— to hear, to hear their tears of of having lost someone due to this damn virus, having lost someone because of love, having lost themselves due to confusion. Let's not criticize anyone, and let's definitely not criticize ourselves. Give yourself a break. Take it easy. Relax. And I know it's hard to say relax now, and I'm not trying to play with you. I'm trying to take care of you. Right now is a difficult time, and you'll get through it. We're all gonna get through it. And the way we get through it quicker healthier, happier, and better on the other side is by the very first step, and that is not to criticize. Criticize anyone and don't criticize yourself. You're trying your best, you're giving everything you got. Things are confusing, things are hard, things are difficult. But you're doing your best. Congratulations. Big hug. But be nice to you and don't criticize anyone. Short, sweet message, but really important and really powerful because we're all in it. And we're all gonna get out of this together. Everyone's in pain, so don't criticize. Be careful with your words because the people that hear you have their own stories too. So why don't you be the center of love? Why don't you be the focal point, the savior, the hero, the listener? That's what we need more. We need more of you, the listener. Go forth and spread beauty and light in this time of darkness and negativity. And remember, don't criticize anyone and don't criticize yourself. You're too good for that. I love you, and until the next time.
