Vulnerability While Listening, Now Your Alive

Hello and welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am the host, Thomas Anglero, and my mission for this podcast is to share with you those private thoughts and reflections that I have being one of the top keynote speakers around the world on technology, motivation, and innovation. I hope you truly enjoy all the lessons I share, all the dots I connect that sometimes are just really difficult to get out but it's all for you. I truly hope you enjoy this episode. Welcome to the Soul of Innovation podcast. I am Thomas Anglero. Let me ask you a question. When you have a conversation with someone, are you paying attention to what they're saying? Not only just what they're saying, that the magnitude of what they said, that it potentially could change your core belief systems. It could change your life. It could change the business that you're working in. It could change everything. I don't believe enough people pay enough attention to what other people are saying. They don't let it sink in. Do you let it sink in? Do you let what people say penetrate your societal firewall, your personal firewall, your ethical firewall that we all have when we listen to people? So many people today, and I mean a lot of people today, are wired so that when they see somebody, they go, "Uh-huh." They blow them off. Just for the sight of making eye contact today, people get annoyed. It's just the defense mechanisms like crazy. We all are pushing each other away. So how the hell will someone else's words change you? The only place I see that a stranger is allowed to change masses of people is when Taylor Swift sings a song. It makes no sense. Taylor Swift does not spend a second, a millisecond of her life thinking about you. And listening to you and letting her— your words change her life, but her words and her music change yours. It makes no sense. Enjoy the music, but that's not who you mold your life around. You mold your life around people, various people all over the planet, and you listen to what everyone has to say. Let me tell you a story. I met someone— I was talking to someone this week and I was explaining to them how I saw what their business does and where they should go. They were so caught up on what they planned to do, and I respect that they spent a lot of time building their business plan and their future direction of where they're going, but it wasn't right. And maybe I wasn't right, but in my opinion, it wasn't right. But they were so caught up, they were so obsessed with the way they see the world, the way they see their business, and they have every right to. But it was the obsession, it was this complete, um, complete blindness to any other reality. And after that meeting, I went for a little walk and I thought, that meeting was a good example of so many conversations that we all have in life, that when you're trying to help someone else, you're not listening. Have you ever done that? Or a better question, when was the last time you did? How's that? That's a tough question because the answer is, of course you've done that. The embarrassing question or the embarrassing answer is, when was the last time? And the more embarrassing question or answer after that is, when was the time after before that? And it's probably not that long period of gap in between. We're not listening. You're not listening. You listen. You listen to the words. You intellectually understand what people are saying, but what they say, are you allowing it to shape who you're going to be? What are you protecting? Why aren't you more vulnerable? So many people have this wall up. As I said before, they try to protect themselves from what? All the things you see on TV, Netflix, YouTube, reading the newspaper. Nobody listens to the radio anymore. It's a shame. It scares you, but that's someone else's story. Think about it in your story, in your life. Were you mugged yesterday? I hope you weren't, but I guarantee you 99.99% of everyone you probably know was not mugged yesterday. Were you mistreated yesterday? Did you have a racial situation yesterday? Did somebody slap you yesterday? No. How about the day before? No. Last week? No. Last month? No. What the hell are you defending? What are you worried about? You don't have dangerous people in your life. You probably have never had dangerous people in your life. Why do you have these firewalls up? Why do you block society? Why do you block people? And you wonder why you feel alone. You wonder why nobody loves you. You wonder why nobody sees you. I've said this before, it's your fault. Stop drinking the Kool-Aid that someone else is making on TV, on the internet, and live your own life. Have conversations with people and make sure you're the one who's doing the least amount of talking. There's always something of value in what people are saying. And if there's nothing of value in what they're saying— and trust me, I've done this many times— I realize the person I'm talking to is, now let's say, sometimes an idiot, sometimes just not worth my time, you know, all sorts of things. Some people, just as the frequency is off, we're not going to be friends. And when you come from a different planet than me but I'm going to be polite. What I get out of that conversation is that I get to understand a person who's completely unlike me and who we will not be friends and who turns me off. And I get to study not only them, but I get to study myself. I'm actually, while they're talking, paying attention to them, and I'm also paying attention to myself and wondering What is the triggers? What is their words? Is it their face? Is their mannerism? And I start studying me as well as listening to them. Do you do that much effort in trying to bond with people, or are you just going, nah, nah, nah, this person's not worth my time, or I'm not going to listen to them, or I'm just going to be nice and smile, but you're not in the conversation? You're lost. Let me ask you an even tougher question. How many conversations have you had this week? And if you have work, work conversations truly don't count really. I'm talking about, because you're talking about a project and things like that. Exclude the project. If you're in school, excluding homework, excluding discussions about the teacher and about the idiots in class, right? Outside of the things and domains that you spend the most amount of time in, Those outside of those conversations, how many conversations have you had? And in those conversations, have you paid attention? Life happens in those conversations. Life and growth and embarrassment and maturity. Go forth and spread beauty and light. Embarrass yourself. While you're listening to someone. And I don't mean for you to slap yourself or do something stupid. I want you to embarrass yourself mentally because you realize that the person that's talking to you has a point. Their point is so true that you're embarrassed because your belief system has gotten crushed. That's a conversation. And those conversations can happen so many times per month, per week, per day in your life if you just start talking and listening to other people. This is what I want you to do. You do it all the time. Do it some more. And the goal is to be the person in the conversation that talks the least. My conversation I had this week, after spending quite a lot of time and giving this gentleman 3 different examples or different perspectives on the same message I was giving to him, imploring him to please listen to what I'm saying. He was so caught up in his own dogma that he just never paid attention. Don't be the person that's caught up in their own dogma. Don't be the person that people afterwards don't want to talk to ever again. Be the person that people want to define themselves by. And that's done by listening. I'm Thomas Anglero, sharing my life perspectives, my flaws, my epiphanies, so that we all have a better life every day. I love you. Until next time. Thank you for listening to that episode. If you want to contact me, you can contact me on my website at anglero.com, and you can also subscribe to the newsletter, or you can find me anywhere on social media with Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you so much, and I hope to hear from you very soon.