In this Business Blast Podcast episode, host Tyler Wagner interviews therapist Armann Fenger. Armann shares his personal story of marrying his best friend, highlighting how the relationship taught him love, forgiveness, and joy. He emphasizes the mental‑health mantra “talk it out, not tough it out,” urging vulnerable conversation to combat isolation and destructive behavior. Drawing from a mentor, he advises listeners to find and focus on a niche, digging deep into personal motivation to differentiate themselves. For his younger self, he recommends finding a trusted person—therapist, friend, or mentor—to share struggles with, noting the detrimental impact of self‑lies. Armann identifies strong, healthy relationships as the key to lasting happiness, contrasting fleeting pleasures with meaningful connections. He recommends the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, summarizing its three attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant) and how understanding them can guide relationship choices. His favorite quote, from Martin Luther King Jr., celebrates doing any job with excellence, linking hard work to meaning and joy. The episode concludes with a plug to find Armann on PsychologyToday.com.
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Welcome to the Business Blast Podcast. I'm your host, Tyler Wagner. This episode is brought to you by Authors Unite. Authors Unite provides you with all the resources you need to become a successful author. You can learn more about Authors Unite and join the free community at authorsunite.com. Now let's jump into the episode.
Alright everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast Podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. Today I have Armin Fenger with us. He is a therapist, and welcome to the show, Armin.
Hi, happy to be here.
Awesome, we're happy to have you, and we'll dive in. The first question I have for you, Armin, is what's the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?
Yeah, the best story is that I married my best friend. And the reason it's the best story is because through this relationship I have grown and learned so much. For example, I know now how to be loved, how to love someone, and I have a partner that stands with me through thick and thin and will have my back no matter how much I mess up, which is important because I need a lot of, a lot of forgiveness And I also learned how to forgive as well. And then each day I wake up and I choose to love my wife with all my heart. And even on the darkest and deepest dark days, I'm filled with joy. And my, 'cause I know my spouse always has my best interest at heart and I have hers. And the fear kind of goes away.
And what's the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?
So the most, most important thing you should know is talk it out, not tough it out. So many of us, especially men, keep the stories to ourselves, and we have a tendency to become overwhelmed, and then we retreat, isolate, and then sometimes engage in destructive behavior. I believe that the strong, courageous, and resilient men and women are the ones who are tough enough to be vulnerable and share the stories of our ups and downs. And as we kind of choose the people who we trust, and the more we talk about our story, the more we realize that we're not alone, and it will positively impact our confidence and self-esteem and improve our self-worth.
And what's your best piece of overall business advice, or not necessarily industry-specific?
Yeah, I got this from my mentor of mine, and he told me that, uh, find your niche and focus on it. And then dig deep to determine your own motivation and use that to narrow in on a goal. And that— the reason that's important is you can better articulate your strengths and individuality, and it helps you set you apart from others in your field. And it also helps to connect a client to your focus and understanding of what you're trying to do.
And if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?
That's a great question. That advice would be find someone you trust to talk to and share the story with. As, as I think back in my life, there are many times where I found myself overwhelmed, confused, discouraged, and I also developed a series of self-lies that had a negative impact on my confidence and ultimately my life. And so if I were to go back and say Just find somebody to talk to, even if it's a therapist or friend or a mentor, and it would help dramatically improve your overall life.
And in your opinion, what's the key to happiness?
Joy comes from having strong, healthy relationships. Things can give you kind of few moments of happiness, but long-lasting joy comes from meaningful relationships. Too many times we can hear, I've heard people say, you know, towards the end of their lives, they can share their regrets of not spending time, more time with their loved ones. I've never heard anybody say that they regret not spending more time in their sports car or big screen TV or talk more on their latest iPhone. So relationships are definitely key to happiness.
And what's the best book that you've read and what was the number one thing you learned from that?
There's a book called Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. And it is a book that clarifies 3 different attachment styles that we all develop. That's called secure, anxious, and avoidant. It can give great clarity on which style we fit into. And then it can give us information on how to navigate relationships, both intimate and not. And having this knowledge and insight can give us great power to make best decisions of whom to spend our life with. More importantly, whom we choose to grow old with.
And what's your favorite quote and why?
My favorite quote is by Martin Luther King Jr. He told us, he was speaking in front of an auditorium of kids. He said, "If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music." Shakespeare wrote poetry. He just sweeps streets so well that the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, "Here lived the greatest street sweeper who did his job well." And this quote is great because we find ourselves in various roles and jobs and situations in our life. If we take the attitude of doing that particular task to the best of our ability, we will succeed in life. And through hard work, we will find meaning and we will develop relationships that will give us joy.
Thank you so much, uh, for coming on, Arman. Um, the last question I have for you before we let you go is, where's the best place for people to find you online?
Yeah, go to psychologytoday.com and just spell out my first name, Arman, A-R-M-A-N-N.
Awesome. Thanks again, Arman. We really appreciate you coming on.
Thank you.
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