In this Business Blast podcast episode, host Tyler Wagner interviews Betsy Butterick, a coach and communication specialist. After brief sponsor messages for Anchor and Authors Unite, Betsy shares her personal journey: moving from the East Coast to California, dreaming of Stanford basketball, facing multiple rejections, and ultimately interning with Stanford women's basketball 20 years later, illustrating the value of patience and perseverance. She then offers concrete communication tips, such as reframing the closing question from “any questions?” to “what questions do you have?” to lower barriers, and replacing “me‑too” stories with a “more you” approach that deepens listening and connection. Betsy discusses her business philosophy, emphasizing starting with what you have, learning through failure, and not letting unknowns stop you. She advises her younger self to let others help, highlighting the mutual benefit of accepting assistance. On happiness, she cites purposeful work as the key. Her top book recommendation is Crucial Conversations (2nd edition), where she highlights the “fool’s choice” insight—balancing honesty and politeness. She shares two favorite quotes: Rumi’s “let the beauty of what you love be what you do” and Churchill’s “we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” The episode concludes with her online contact information (website, Twitter, Instagram) and a mention of her short “ACT” (Active Communication Technique) videos on YouTube.
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All right everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Business Blast Podcast. I'm your host Tyler Wagner. And as a coach and communication specialist, Betsy Butterick works with individuals ready to improve and teams of all kinds from the locker room to the boardroom. So welcome to the show.
Thanks, Tyler. Appreciate you having me on.
Of course. Grateful to have you here. So Betsy, the first question we ask on this show is what is the best story from your life that has an underlying valuable message?
Oh man. So many great stories. I think the one that's most notable that really shaped my life was we moved, my family moved from the East Coast to California to the Bay Area when I was 11. And I immediately fell in love with Stanford basketball. That's where I wanted to go. It was my dream school. I played club, I did everything that I could to try to get recruited, had a couple Division I offers, none from Stanford, applied out of high school, got rejected. And I taped that rejection letter above my bed as motivation to get better. Went to the local junior high school, applied again after my freshman year, got a second rejection letter with a really nice note from admissions saying, you know, Elizabeth, we realize you've applied twice now. If you apply a third time, you might get in, but we had a lot of sophomore transfers. So two rejection letters, made a decision to accept a different Division I offer and began coaching basketball camp for Head Coach Tara Vanderveer. And before the summer before my senior year in college, she asked if I wanted to intern with their program once I graduated. So I started my internship with Stanford women's basketball at 21, 10 years after I fell in love with them as an 11-year-old. And then I started my own business in 2011, working with athletic departments and teams. And I happened to be 31 when Tara called and said, hey, would you come in and do a preseason workshop with my team? So it took 20 years to realize the dream of really being a part of Stanford women's basketball in a meaningful way for their season, but it happened. So the takeaway there is, you know, give your dreams time. They may not turn out as you thought they would or as you wanted them to, but it doesn't mean that that won't happen. You just need to stick with it and give it time.
I love that. And then what is the most valuable piece of information we should know that's within your expertise or industry?
Tyler, we could talk about communication all day, so I'm going to give you a little one and then I'm going to direct you to more information. So one thing I've been doing at the end of my championship communication workshops is, and this is true for people in business, but also within the world of sports, after we get finished presenting or speaking, a natural question, a natural close for most of us is, are there any questions? And I ask the audience, what's the difference if instead I were to say, what questions do you have? And the difference of course, is that you've removed the barrier of someone first having to admit that they have a question. And instead created a space that welcomes them to ask the question that they have. So that's one simple— there's so many things that we can do, small shifts in our language and the way that they can have a big impact. Another that I like to toss out there is what I call me too versus more you. So if Tyler Wagner, you and I are having a conversation and you tell me about this time you went snowboarding in Tahoe, my natural inclination when you finish talking or sometimes before you finish is I'm going to say, "Oh yeah, when I went to Tahoe," and tell you what I call a "me too" story. We do this because we're trying to establish connection with another person. But what's interesting is you actually make a deeper connection when you skip over "me too" and instead go with what I call "more you." So when you tell me about that time you went snowboarding in Tahoe, instead of me saying, "Oh yeah, when I was in Tahoe," instead, if I use that space to ask a further question, have you told me a little bit more? I put in greater time listening and that creates a stronger connection than if I were to try to do the relatable thing and tell you more about myself. So these are just a few of the tips that you can find on YouTube. If you Google my name, Betsy Buderec, on YouTube, there's 23 ACT videos. ACT stands for Active Communication Technique. All the videos are 2 minutes or less, and they're designed to give you something you can do today to impact the way that you communicate and connect with others.
Yeah, that's awesome. I actually have a big talk on Wednesday, so I'm going to use that questions thing at the end. I love it.
Perfect. Go for it. Yeah.
I'll let you know how it goes, but I already know I know it's going to go better because I totally get what you just said. That's awesome.
Cool, please do.
So my next one for you is, what is your best piece of overall business advice? So not necessarily industry specific.
Sure. Gosh, when I started my business, I did so because I saw a need. It wasn't because I knew anything about business. And what I learned from that is not to let what you don't know keep you from doing what you can. I probably spent the first 5, 6 months saying, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to do some more research and learn some more things. I'm going to take this course. What I found years down the road now is that just start with what you have. You're going to learn along the way. That's just the nature of, of growing and doing anything for the first time. And the fastest way to succeed is really to fail. And you fail by trying things. And when you fail, you learn. And when you learn, you grow. And that's really the best way to succeed. In business, but also life. So don't let what you don't know stop you from doing what you can.
And then if you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would that be?
If I could give my younger self a piece of advice, it would be let people help you. I would say even, you know, from a young age, and I don't know where we get this from, but it's like if you're carrying two bags of groceries or something and someone says, can I help you? It's like, oh no, no, it's okay. I got it. And what I've learned over time is that even if you've got it or you can get it, when somebody offers to help and you say no, you're essentially robbing them of an opportunity to be of service. And we think sometimes we're doing them a favor by not making them carry something. When someone offers, let them help you. I can't tell you the number of people since I've started a business have said, you know, if there's anything I can do for you, let me know. And I usually say, oh, thanks. That's really sweet. I appreciate it. But have something to give them. Let other people help you. Makes the journey a lot more enjoyable.
And then kind of going slightly down a different path, in your opinion, what is the key to happiness?
Wine? Does wine count as happiness? I think the key to happiness for me personally is really finding joy in purposeful work. So loving what you do, why you do it, and who you do it with. That brings me a lot of happiness.
And then what is the best book that you've read and what was the number one thing you learned from it?
Tough question. There's so many exceptional books out there. The most recent reread for me is the second edition of a book called Crucial Conversations, and I highly recommend it for anybody that wants better practice or more skills around having difficult conversations. Number one takeaway, kind of the first aha moment in rereading that book was what they refer to as the fool's choice, which is believing that we have to choose between being honest and being polite. In reality, there's strategic ways that you can do both and do them well. You can be honest without losing friends, that you can actually strengthen relationships and build trust without having to make that fool's choice.
And then what's your favorite quote and why?
I'm a sucker for quotes. I'm going to cheat and give you two. There's one by Rumi that says, let the beauty of what you love be what you do. And that's been a guiding force for me. And the other one I love is by Winston Churchill, which says, we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. So what are you giving to other people? And how do you get value for your life from what you give away?
Yes, love it. So thank you so much for coming on. The last question I have for you is, where can our audience best find you online?
You can find me online at www.betsybuterick.com. .com. You can also find me on Twitter @BetsyButterick, or you can find me on Instagram @betsy_the_coaches_coach, and I'd love to connect with you there.
